Monday 30 May 2016

Bonjourno, Salut, Buenos Dias: It’s only been a year!

“Life takes no prisoners, but sometimes experience, perspective and knowledge of a better day to come can erase the holes created.”

When I embarked on this blog just over a couple of years ago, I hoped that I could at least make a difference in some men’s lives in passing on what I know, and what I have learned in life.  In the main, the posts published were revolved around becoming more clued up with the female emotional mind and the consequent choices they make, but I hope that, whether in isolation or as a by-product, I have offered some readers a guide to become a “better” man too.  Or, to put it another way, they now choose a path to make wiser choices in acquiring a happiness that wasn’t once present.

I’m pretty confident it has positively assisted a decent number of men out there.  I know this from private e-mails I have sent back.  Has it made a wholesale change?  I very much doubt it.  As although it is clear that more men in percentage terms are boycotting marriage, going their own way, and not abiding by social conditioning and external pressures, the vast majority of men are still beta males who cannot bring themselves to believe the way the world works, and in particular, the way women’s minds work.

The last 15 months have been pretty tough for me.  Without being able to draw on past memories of a young boy assisting his father during the civil war in West Africa, or fighting a two year cancer battle just a few years ago, this may have took the former me over the edge.  I’m not for a moment going to say it has been a stroll, but in relativity to the two chapters in my life mentioned, it has been far easier to take the high road and let the water roll off my back.

Without boring anybody, a lost baby, the ending of a long term relationship with the respective mother, a job redundancy, and a new position in a new corrupt industry that takes up far more of my time than I would wish for, have took my life a little off path over the last year or so.  This is, for anybody who has been wondering, why this blog has taken a back step in my priorities. 

But I’m a great believer in fate, learning from the past, embracing the good times that came with it concurrent to not resenting the bad aspects, and being excited for a new page that is still to be opened.  I can’t, and would never, say that you will find daily posts on this blog, but I do endeavour to get back on the saddle once more, for a little time longer at least. 

To close out this post, I take you back to this particular article I wrote.  I contacted this friend of mine the other night to see how things are getting on.  It was quite a sickening feeling to hear he has gone from the once optimistic, confident, presentable, extroverted and care-free man, in now standing as a downbeat, timid, reclusive, depressed excuse for a human being who is feeding off happy pills to ease his painful existence.  Yes, all his problems are formed on the doorstep of the woman he chose to marry.

Do I feel incredibly sorry for him?  Not at all.  If someone makes their own bed without a gun to their head, they sure can go sleep in it as far as I’m concerned.  But his heart was always in the right place, and I do find is as upsetting as pitiful to hear him announce himself this way.  It’s no coincidence that this guy, for all the time I knew him up until the day he met his wife (they are still not officially divorced), treated women as secondary human beings in respect to the priority that was his own life.  They always came running back for more. 

No sooner did he for the first time reluctantly bow down to marriage and fatherhood duties, was he now the powerless, accommodating and fearful man who ended up exerting all his energy on a selfish bitch who wanted more.  Bear also in mind that this was an eastern European woman who, whether through innate character or learned strategies, performed the role of a more accustomed western world female who became over expectant and under appreciative. 

So the lesson should be crystal clear to those who choose to pursue a happier life, or otherwise play ignorance.  But which path do you choose to take….?  


  1. happy to have you back31 May 2016 at 03:37

    Wow, I remember discovering your blog a year ago and devoured your articles. It sucked to have you not post but obviously, you had many life problems.

    You sound like you are pulling through your challenges, and kudos. Look fwd to your future posts.

  2. Hi Vi Nay,

    Good to see that you are back and doing well. I've been reading in the background since I discovered this blog last year. It has been really helpful to me. Looking forward to your future posts as well.