Saturday 17 February 2024

Which male attributes most attract women?


“If unsure or uncommitted of the corrective move, always go with your instincts. You never truly know which decision was best, so at least your conscience is then clearer.”


This was an interesting article I came across the other day, aligned to the post title:


Ah, now that's a question with a lot of layers, isn't it? I remember a conversation I had with a friend of mine over coffee about this very topic. It was one of those lazy Sunday afternoons where the world seems to slow down just enough for a good chat.

She was telling me about a study she'd read, which suggested that different people are attracted to different things. For some, it's a physical trait like the eyes or a well-defined jawline. Eyes can be quite captivating, you know, they say a lot about a person's emotions and thoughts. And a strong jawline, well, it often signifies strength and determination, doesn't it?

But then she leaned in, with a twinkle in her eye, and said, "But you know, it's often more than just physical features. It's about how he carries himself, his confidence, and, oh - a sense of humor is a big one!" We both laughed at that because, honestly, who doesn't appreciate a good laugh?

And then, with a more serious tone, she mentioned something that really stuck with me. "It's the little things," she said. "How he listens, the way he shows respect, his passion for his interests, and kindness. Those are the real deal-breakers."

So, in essence, while physical traits might initially draw attention, it's often the personality and behavior that truly captivate. It's a mix of both, and what attracts one person might be completely different for another. It's the beautiful complexity of human attraction, don't you think?


Over time, and with more experience gained from and observation acquired with women, you will fathom which women are more honest than others.  No women is immune from lying, in particular when faced with emotional topics and preferences regarding men, however you will be able to distinguish between those who speak with sincerity, and those who just say what makes their ego feel better (hence, say what makes them feel better about life and themselves).

In respect to the narrator and her friend, I would hedge a fair bet that the former is far more honest than the latter.  My experience with women, with firm confidence in my view, draws to the conclusion that when a woman talks about endearing physical features she likes in a man, providing she states with transparent genuine verbalization (hence, not saying she likes extra fat around his waist, or bald men etc), she is saying what her instincts and heart tell her.  Conversely, when a woman attempts to bypass talking about the physical blessings in men – in switching it to the personality side – there is more than a fair chance she is a woman who resents the most physically attractive men.

To further elaborate, I suspect the narrator most likely goes for hotter men than her friend, all else being equal.  Of course, we do not know what her friend looks like (the narrator looks about a 7/10 based on the photo), as often, but not always, a woman’s physical attractiveness plays a large part to the kind of aesthetically looking man she screens for.

Q-tip:                                                                                                                                Opinions will always be opinions, and on subjects where facts cannot be pinpointed and where subjectivity is king, it allows a person to say pretty much whatever they want, irrespective of how lacking in credibility and how far from the truth it appears. With this in mind, if you can base your opinion on what you truthfully believe, and what your eyes see and not what you want to believe, you will live a far more stress free and productive life.

Male personality is important…

With that said, and even accounting for the undeniable life consequence where the vast majority of women will desire to be with a lesser looking man in gender relative terms, it is still vital to accept that a man’s personality in attracting, or at least appealing to, women is especially important.  Whereas a man places first emphasis in striving for the best looking woman he can acquire, and other factors come secondary to this, women do place far greater weight towards a man’s non-physical attributes.

This is why I have always said that for all men – irrelevant of their physical attractiveness degree – personality is something they should work on.  It is most likely, for most men, far easier to improve their personality and character than it is to become significantly better looking.  I dissect three categories:

·       Ugly to below average looking men, absent of extreme wealth and social status, will not be able to secure much better looking women.  Nevertheless, if he has a great personality, he will bridge that gap of what he wants, against what is he currently getting.

·       Average to above average looking men, even with poor to mediocre personalities, will still regularly be able to secure women at least 10% more attractive.  This is a direct result of a woman desiring to be with a man who is noticeably, but not significantly, less physically attractive than herself.  However, throw in a good personality and charisma to assist, and this leverage will jump to 15% at least, and even >20% on rarer (but not uncommon) occasions.

·       Good looking to very good looking men’s necessity for a good personality is arguably greater in comparison to ugly and below average looking men.  Perhaps not so much at a younger age where college/university women or younger women in general are more inclined to go for lunkhead (but hot) men, but from a female age beyond 24, it is harder for these men to solely rely on their hotness.  This illogical reasoning is because, as described above and inundated times on this blog, women are looking for reasons to not date the best looking men.  If said good looking man can bring an endearing personality to the table, it mitigates this obstacle and predicament to an extent.

How important is male humour?

Male humour requirement is a grey area to me.  If it was imperative in attracting our good female gender, then the most beautiful women would all be with comedians (which is not the case) and not sports/film/music stars (which is the case).  With this simple observation considered, it is an easy assumption therefore to say that women place far greater priority on male wealth and status, than they do on male humour (or on male personality generally).

With this acknowledged, you could make an argument that a man’s humour level is not of immense importance.  However, you have to remember that >99% of men are not sportsmen, Hollywood actors or musicians, and >99% of women do not look like these referenced stunning lookers seen on the television, internet or magazines (coming to think of it, these celebrity women do not look as good as that in the flesh, such is the photographic enhancement world we live in), therefore you need to look into it from the perspective of us mere mortals of the world. 

My take on it is that having a sense of humour is far better than not having one and being anxious all the time, and it will, more often than not, give a man a better chance of upgrading with women.  I would also though say it is by no means a deal-breaker if you do not have a profound sense of humour, as if you are living in the same world as me, most women take themselves too seriously - which prevents them from being able recipients of humour anyway.

A final thought

And at the risk of talking about myself to end this post, I would say I have a good sense of humour - as a by-product of not taking myself or life too seriously – but I am not a hugely funny person.  What I mean by this is, unless in an environment where I am at most comfort (usually one on one or in small groups, and with people who I know enjoy my company), I am not a competent jokester or storyteller. 

The way I have mitigated this, one could say, weakness, is to, at the risk of repeating myself, not take criticism or haters too seriously.  I am not a great thinker on the spot in coming back with one lines in the face of ridiculers or people antagonistic towards me, however I have learned to respond with a mild smirk and hold a few defaulted and memorized one liners when applicable.

My personal favourite is as follows:

Ridiculer (example): “What the hell are you wearing!”

My response: “You don’t like me very much, do you?  Is that because you’re worried your girlfriend may like me more than you?”

This has been beneficial on a few occasions, because I find that no matter how humorous a man is trying to be at my expense (and usually these men are not funny, but just trying to be funny in front of their mates), the sheer power of psychology and reality conquers any form of humour they produce.  At the end of the day, if you fire back something where even the funniest man in the world has to question his worth, his weapon of humour has effectively been destroyed.

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