“Master my self, to master my enemy.”
A lot has been mentioned on this blog over the years about why a high proportion (that, depending on the environment, is usually a large majority) of women are antagonistic most of the time towards the highest calibre men. Highest calibre from a male perspective offering can be measured in many ways – physical attractiveness (combination of good looks, body profile and height), social and occupational status, personality, charisma, wealth, talent, dress style, body language, confidence, voice tone, uniqueness, intelligence etc – however it is clear to see from real life observations that women’s noses are put out of joint the greatest when they see an extremely good-looking man with an impressive body and admirable height to assist.
Nevertheless, it is often an oversight to why other men are equally as resistant and sometimes hostile towards this isolated said man who has, what would seem, the world at is feet. Unlike women as explained above who will be most envious towards the man’s physical allure, it is conceivable that most men will be more jealous of said man’s status than his physical looks. Therefore, the other men, whilst still resentful that he is better looking than them, will be more begrudging of his sports car sitting in the car park.
Why does the gender jealousy slightly differ?
In simple explanation, a woman’s greatest strength, asset and offering to the world, and in conjunction with what she is judged on by men the most, is her physical beauty. There is unlikely to be a day in our lifetimes before robots take over where this will change. With this in mind, when a woman is in the close proximity to an equal looking or better-looking man in gender relative terms, she has that power of her best selling point taken away from her within her inner belief. This acts as an automated and subconscious reaction to either act malicious at worst, or simply awkward at best.
A woman will desire to be with the highest calibre man in as many elements as possible as long as he is less physically attractive than her. It is only when there is an extremely good-looking man in the scenario when it would appear she is also not happy if he possesses many other non-physical positive offerings. In other words, if an average looking man drove an expensive car, she would see this in positive light and be more attracted to him. If a very good-looking man drove the exact same car, she would see this in a much more negative manner.
Hypocrisy at it’s best and most obvious, one could say….
On the other hand, bear in mind >90% of men fall into the average looking compartment in terms of male physical attractiveness. This >90% ranges from marginally below average, average, to above average (leaving the remaining <10% for ugly and good-looking men). With this consideration, more than nine out of ten men aren’t going to be striking women’s attentions on their looks alone.
However, the saving grace for the vast majority of the male population is that women don’t primarily select a man on his physical impressiveness, to the point where most women actually pinpoint men who are lesser looking than themselves. Women place far more emphasis on a man’s status and financial standing, with a good few other metrics as explained further above that are more important than his looks.
This manifests in men striving hard to maximize their earnings and status levels in order to bridge the gap between not instantly and organically being able to attract women on face value alone. If she can get a sniff of his status and monetary extent being of appealing nature, he can attract her and consequently box above his weight in looks terms. Any honest person will have observed this undeniable consequence – where nine out of ten couples below 35 years of age illustrate a better looking woman alongside a lesser looking man.
Therefore, if an average-looking man sees a good-looking man who attains a better car, dress sense and positive demeanour than him, he is robbed of life’s opportunity to neutralize the competitive condition. It is effectively the same dynamic as the woman being robbed of her physical beauty exposure if, the man she is nearby, attracts more viewers than her.
The first time I consciously considered how men can be jealous or, let’s say, slow in interaction or forthcoming nature, was around the age of 25. At that time, a lot of my friends started to give up on the going out scene, and it left me with no option as a single guy than to start trying to find other social circles. On most occasions, their willingness to invite me on their respective nights out was apathetic at best.
This even included some men who were more than friendly when on a one-to-one situation, and this trend still plays out today. I find a lot of men are, even if slightly awkward and lacking eye contact on a one-to-one basis, quite amiable when in conversation. Once with their circle of friends, this amicability seemingly vanishes. Read into this what you will…
The overriding conclusion I came up with is that, for the purpose of nights out where the male mission in a male dominated competitive environment is to attract the most sought-after women, they knew I was competition which they didn’t feel comfortable in dealing with. In a way, who can blame them? I guess you feather your own nest, and in situations where desirable women are in small pickings at the best of times, why make the battle any harder?
Is there an obvious type of man who will be most inhospitable?
This question would merit a designated post in itself, however for the purpose of time and ease to conclude this article, I bullet point those men who – in both working and social surroundings – would act in either embracement or close hatred on a near absolute basis.
The positive receptiveness and engagement from male character types are:
· Older men (men at least fifteen years older than me)
· Family men (men who have no inclination to stray from their female partners)
· Gay men
· Heterosexual (or closet!) feminine men
· Men who simply find it easy and natural to embrace with other men who stand out from the crowd
· Immigrants / Non-British men
· Slightly mentally inept/eccentric men
The negative receptiveness and engagement from male character types are:
· “Ladies Men” – men who like to think women are attracted to them (even if they are men who are married)
· Office Bullies (similar reasoning to “Ladies Men”)
· Younger men (not all, but a high percentage)
· Older men who are resistant to getting old (and think they can still attract younger women)
· Status men – an amalgamation of a “Ladies Man” and Office Bully – who attempts to use his profession to compensate for his lack of physical draw
· Generally jealous men / Chip on their shoulder in life men
· Men who feel inferior (and they try to compensate by making silly comments / acting unsociable)
A final thought
It’s not until I entered my late twenties that I started to understand why this all occurs. If honest, it used to frustrate me somewhat, but like all things learned about women or even life generally, once you understand why things happen, the frustration and even hurt fragments into pretty much nothing. You become the rubber ball that can be pushed, but that most things bounce off.
Take note of the phrase at the top, and have it stamped between your ears whenever an obstacle of this kind in life is encountered. When you are comfortable and confident with the person you have become, you care not a penny what others think of you. When you have mastered yourself, you have mastered those who try to bring you down.