“People don’t seize moments. Moments seize people.”
As regular readers of this blog will have worked out long ago, I’m not the most forgiving or compassionate when it comes to women’s situations in life on a general basis. I believe they make a rod for their own backs, mostly and metaphorically.
Nevertheless, on occasions my compassion, thoughts and consideration do stretch beyond the normal stingy offerings, especially when it appears like a woman is struggling in life. This male concern tends to increase in a direct lineage with female age, and this makes sense. As women get older, they become less desirable to men. As they become less desirable to men, they usually become friendlier and more approachable. As they become friendlier and approachable, it is a natural inclination for a man to be friendly and engaging in return. Unlike women who are aroused and attracted to men acting like jerks/bad boys, men are less attracted to women who act like bitches and a basically unpleasant human being. Most women fail to, or refuse to, get this easy concept in their heads.
In this post written a few months ago, I documented meeting an attractive young woman where it appeared to have promise in where it could lead. To clarify straight away, it didn’t lead to anything. There were a few reasons why:
· First, with UK lockdown announced measures extended for at least another few months post our interactions in January, there was no opportunity to meet. This naturally, on both her and my part, deflated the enthusiasm in text language. If you can’t get sexual, there really is no place to go.
· Second, I still get the feeling she had some kind of “ex” on the scene where, whilst not her boyfriend, didn’t allow her to fully commit her mind to me. I always had the feeling I was kind of her next lined up guy after this one finished.
· Third, my liking towards her as a person incrementally decreased every day for the approximate four weeks we kept in touch. Whilst she most definitely came across as potential girlfriend material when we met and spoke, her games, disappearing acts (in text terms) and attempted apathy (most likely contrived rather than natural) started to piss me off. Over time, she came across as a time waster and, quite frankly, someone who had her head in the clouds and came out with a lot of crap.
Once she didn’t reply to my final text around middle of January, I wrote this off as something that will 99% chance not ever come to anything. It actually came as a relief, as due to not being able to see her, I would never have been able to totally know whether her apathetic demeanour was one of not being that interested, or conversely being very interested but vainly attempting to act otherwise to keep her pride and ego intact. These are the things only truly known when you see a woman in actuality.
The first Saturday morning after gyms reopened, as I walked through the male changing rooms into the gym area, she miraculously came out of the female’s equivalent at the same time. Coincidence or planning on her part? I looked at her and the first thing that struck me was how much weight she had lost. I hate to condemn women for this, especially considering how most women have put on weight during the closure of gyms and similar, however her nice curves had transformed to a skinnier frame not as much to my liking. Her skin was also incredibly spotty. She mentioned, most likely to justify why she wasn’t looking too great, how she had been out the night before on cocktails. Strange that, as I don’t know of many people, let alone women, who would attend the gym at 8am after a night on the booze.
We walked down to the weights area, but the voice inside my head had no inclination whatsoever to talk for long about the interim period or anything else. I was fortunate that my first planned exercise was at the near side of this area, to which she said (with enthusiasm) that she would see me later. I rattled on with my workout, and never went to see her.
The following Saturday, she was working out around the core body area which is situated where I was to wrap up that day. After I had completed my workout, I felt obliged to have a quick chat. She never asked me anything about myself, and all content was about her job, her friends, her planned vacations, and a (friend’s) wedding in the summer. That aside, as she spoke there wasn’t a part of my penis that ran away with my mind. I had lost pretty much all my sexual attraction onto her. I made a final comment to finish the conversation, and I walked off.
The following Saturday, she walked in and commenced dead lifts about ten yards from me. I noticed she had her hair tied up, but enough to indicate that her hair had been trimmed from waist/lower back length to shoulder length/2” past shoulder. That’s an eight to twelve inches off her once long, brunette style.
I fully appreciate sometimes women need to shorten their hair length based on mitigating circumstances, and some, once kids come along, will do it through conscious choice due to the reduced time it then takes to get ready each morning. Nevertheless, a woman who reduces her hair length by a significant margin will, by near absolution, lose a pronounced degree of her physical attractiveness. Any honest man would say the same.
The lonely look
I can tell a lonely look in a woman’s face when I see one. I can also detect one that reflects frustration in life. This woman couldn’t hide either. No amount of social media posting about how dramatic, busy, fast-paced, popular and sociable her life is will conceal the reality that goes on inside her head.
I sympathise for these kinds of women – like her at the heart of this post – because I have, by and large, found myself in romantic involvements with girl’s girls (women who are more into girl gatherings than having a boyfriend all the time) than homely girls (women who seemingly are never without a boyfriend in life). This is despite the latter outweighing the former by, based on my estimations and experiences, a 10:1 ratio. Girl’s girls love the life when there are plenty of female social options. As explained in this post, the last year, and the medium term here on in at least, isn’t a great place to be this woman.
The usual scenario of female friendships groups
The problem for girl’s girls is, as strongly implied above, they are only as happy as the women who accompany them. In any given female social - whether genuine friendship, convenience friendship, or fake friendship – the chances of all women belonging to a girl’s girl character is near on impossible. Even looking at it optimistically from her perspective, a group of eight women would comprise of this:
· 1 nr dedicated girl’s girl
· 2 nr single girls who will, at that particular time, will be indifferent about meeting a potential boyfriend
· 2 nr single girls who are actively on the lookout for a boyfriend. They aren’t too keen on girl gathering longevity, but they do like to stay in touch for drama’s sake
· 3 nr women who have boyfriends, and rarely go out with the girls
Like I say, this is the girl’s girl optimistic scenario, and it will most likely be between the ages of 18 to 22. Beyond this age range, and the boyfriend inclination and likelihood of a woman only increases.
With this in mind, the chances for a girl’s girl to have constant, consistent and regular female gatherings is very slim over a long timeframe. Simply put, most women prefer the validation of a boyfriend showing he loves her, no matter how mediocre or low quality the man in question may be.
The good news for girl’s girls
With all this said, there will almost always be a safety net for a girl’s girl to fall into. By sheer nature of subconsciously being (or consciously choosing to be) a girl’s girl, the vast majority of these women will belong to the most alluring segment of female physical attractiveness. It is exceedingly rare to find a woman who is a girl’s girl to be <7.5/10, and far more often she will be >8/10.
On the other side of this dynamic is their preference in men. Girl’s girls will typically have high demands in male quality criteria (usually based on his wealth and status, but sometimes on his physical attractiveness level too), however as we know, there are far more attractive women in the world than high quality men in supply. In sheer mathematics terms then, a high percentage of girl’s girls would be left waiting forever if they only settled for men at the highest end of male sought after calibre.
However, over time a woman will reduce her demands once the female group starts to diminish into numbers barely more than herself, and the irritation of being single for too long, simultaneous to her female friends broadcasting how great their male partners are (broadcasting that will rarely be as true or objective as they claim it to be), will lead to her looking at the next tier below in male offerings. If still unable to locate a male suitor in that tier, she will reluctantly look in the tier below.
If typical said girl’s girl is the usual 7.5/10 to 8.5/10 in physical attractiveness, there will be a huge pool of men for her to select from. As most men (75% as a conservative estimation) will fall into mediocrity (not just physical looks, but most other metrics too) in male sought after terms, this will manifest as an end concept of seven or eight men out there for every single girl’s girl. Some of these men will be single anyway, but even most men with girlfriends would ditch their better halves for an opportunity to be with a hotter woman.
Only marriage will stand in the way of most men ditching their lesser looking female partners for the opportunity with a much hotter woman. Absence of marriage, there are very few consequences he needs to consider.
A final thought
You will hear a lot of women bemoan the circumstance that the reason they are single is because they can’t find a man. You can call bullshit on this claim. What she is really saying (without having the courage to say it) is that she can’t find a man (at that particular time in her life) who meets the criteria of her demands and expectations.
Any woman of 7/10 (And I’d even go as low as 6.5/10) or above should never have difficulty in finding a man once she grasps the reality of life, expectations, and the sheer gender number comparisons as explained above. If she is single, and she consequently holds a grudge with life about it, she needs to take a closer look to home.
If any woman below 6.5/10 is single, she has a more justified reason to complain about being single for too long. In this case, she faces the unfortunate circumstance where the majority of men are simply scouting for something a bit better. There are still plenty of men out there for her, she just has to be realistic to the kind of men who will commit.