Sunday 18 March 2018

Female age related challenges

"Don't be afraid to be the odd one out.  Often this person is the smartest out there."

Reader Bryce left a comment on the back of this previous post from WCMD:

Hey Vinay,

Long time no hear from, thanks for all the advice you have given. I started a new job a last year so I've been focusing on that mostly.

Are you still doing Q&A? If so, I have a few questions.

1. I find that being a good looking guy at work comes with challenges, such as teammates being mean and trying to make it look bad, managers do this too especially when they are on the younger side. Did you face any of those challenges and how did you overcome them?

It's similar to one of your posts where you mention joining a group but guys don't like the competition.

2. How did you build you apathy that leads to edginess? Basically how to not give a f#ck?

3. Also in your previous posts, you mention that some of the women you dated were very attractive, I interested in learning how to build consistency with higher quality woman. I am 28 years old now, so I don't hang around females who are in their lower 20s as often and not to mention I find them annoying sometimes...probably because I'm getting older. 

My response:

Hi Bryce,

Good to hear from you and hope all is well? Apologies for the late reply. Generally speaking I am working crazy hours which has put the blog to one side. But always happy to help:

1. I have absolutely suffered this scenario on many occasions, especially considering I live in a country like the UK where there is a culture to look after the "Great Underdog" and condemn uniqueness. The best way to overcome this predicament is to not abide by the normal lapdogs in the company, and just be yourself. Go by the "those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind" mentality.  Say this to them if it comes up in conversation, as it will be amazing how quickly they shut up (as ultimately this is you DHV'ing) them. Take any negative comments or body language they project onto you as a true back-handed compliment.

2. I built the "what's the worst that can happen" mindset into me. Obviously going through a number of tough stages in my life enabled easier adaptation to this thought process and execution, but you can do it too.  It's essentially the portray of outcome independence. Who's going to shoot you if you don't abide by what they want? Also, acknowledge that women like men who run with apathy, and see this character as the carrot at the end of the root.

3. If I'm brutally honest, the vast majority of top end quality (which for women is primarily judged by their looks) were, and still are, below the age of 24. I find it difficult to convince women above 23 (and even more so 25 or older) in time constrained moments that I'm anything more than a player. They ultimately assume a guy like me can have any woman he wants, therefore as women aged 24 to 32 are in some place between wanting to settle down with a future husband/father or currently in that position, they will look but not touch guys like me - with isolated exceptions.  This is why the most receptive women to very good looking men are under 24 or over 33. The young girls go with their hearts and sexual impulses, whilst the older women are in boring and unhappy relationships - and looking to cheat. The mid 20s to early 30s females are the most desperate to pin down the man who will marry them, even if this means being indifferent towards him in sexual and impulsive terms.

But this doesn't answer your point directly as much as it breaks down the barriers I perceive you to be encountering. If, as I suspect, you are on the lookout for attractive women In their late 20s, your best bet is to find them via a social (real life, not Internet) network, or less preferably in the workplace. This allows them to see your personality, and a gives them a level of reassurance that you're not just a pump and dump kind of guy. With all this said, I'd still screen for mature minded early 20s girls or women no older than 25 if I was in your position, simply because I can assure you that if you go for a woman same aged or older than you, her looks will dwindle much faster than yours. As much as you may love her as a partner and person, there will be an uncontrollable resentment on both parts in the future. Your resentment will derive from the fact you could have sex with more physically attractive women, and her animosity will manifest because she sees her male partner (you) as the younger looking and more attractive member of the relationship.

Hope this helps.



  1. Vinay many thanks I've been trying out that "those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind".

    Also your advice some up some experiences that I didn't noticed until now. I was dating 29 going on 30 year old who eventually stopped seeing my because she was looking to get married. I was also dating a pretty 22 year old that just followed her and desires;). And also a 25 year old attractive 25 year South American who wants to be my gf.

    Thanks for tip, work/school/gym treatment from people who don't like good looking guys had been a big problem I didn't know how to approach for most of my life.


  2. Hi Vinay,

    Your posts are very insightful..I think you are helping a lot of guys who are good-looking and are confronted with behaviour from women, which is not like portrayed in media and films.

    Many people have told me direct or indirect that I am very handsome/attractive etc. It's of course nice to hear such compliments but I am still irritated with behaviour of some women (honstely they are in the majority).

    A lot of woman or poeple in general assume that I am gay. I am very manly looking, so I am told. One occurunce, which puzzles me on regular basis is that women in groups try to put me down by talking out loud that I am gay to their friends.

    The strange part is that they not just say it one time at leave it by that, they continue watching me to find clues or proofs that I am gay. So they are gossiping behing my back that I am gay. And really, that happens very often everywhere I go.

    Very attractive women don't seem to think that I am gay and are very receptive to me. This women are in the 8-9.5 range. So I assume I must be somewhere on the 8 range regarding looks.

    It would be very helpful if you could write an article about this phenomenon.


  3. Hey Timo,

    Spot on observations! I suspect that you are probably above 8.5 on the looks scale.

    One thing I'm curious about is your age, I find that older women will make those comments. Another test would be if gay men come on to you a lot (as they are men, tend to be more aggressive).

    Another reason why they could be saying that is because you might not be hitting on them and just remaining friendly. This confuses the heck out of women because they are use to men acting acting a certain way and when you are good looking and you don't try anything with them they assume you are gay to preserve their ego.

    So it's mostly an ego thing for them where they assume you are gay. But they are probably waiting to jump your bones though, especially the ones that really like you (not the ones that want your attention for validation).

    Those are my observations. I'm curious what Vinay has to say about this.


    1. Hi Gents,

      Here's a couple of things to think about in terms of Timo's comment, and it isn't a bad idea actually saying this in response to the shit test that they allude to or say you are gay:
      1)"It's funny because I find that many straight men and less attractive women think I'm gay, yet gay men and the hottest women know I'm straight. I'll let you draw your own conclusions to why that is the case!" Basically, jealous men who are scared you're taking their women and less attractive women who know you're out of their league claim you are gay to try and feel better about themselves. Gay men know truly what a gay man is - hence knowing you are straight, and the hottest women are the only women who you don't put their noses out of joint...
      2)When a woman (or man) says "Are you gay?", respond with "Only if gay men like vaginas!" The pause and look on their faces is golden!!