Saturday, 21 January 2017

Marriage thoughts


"A person with more friends than fingers is a fool."


Reader Danny asks for my thoughts on marriage:

Vinay

One other great post indeed:) 

By the way..wanted to ask you?
If you'd get married...what woman you'd chose?..a 10?.. 8?..since beauty is such a transitory factor for a woman before she gets fat?..
I wonder...
Kiss,mate!
Danny boy:)


My response:

You can never say never in life, but knowing myself better than anyone else comes close to, and in comprehension to the life knowledge I've acquired and understanding of women that has developed over the years, I couldn't see myself marrying anything less than a 7.5/10 looks rated woman.  This woman referenced would need to possess an excellent personality and be very enjoyable company that outweighs the enrichment of an independent life.  In addition to this, she would also have to be somewhere near to my own level of financial assets, or come from a wealthy background that could contribute to our common objectives.  If I sensed for a split second that compromise and empathy were not part of her character vocabulary, she wouldn't last beyond her sexual use to me.

Female physical attractiveness, in men's eyes, gives women more leeway with male demands.  I'm no different.  This isn't, very often, the same case in the gender inverse perspective.  A man's good looks (or better looks in comparison to a lesser looking man from the woman's past) will rarely shorten the list or intensity of a woman's demands for long term consideration.  What good male looks do give men is more opportunity for short term flings and one night stands.

To explain further, if the woman was an 8/10, I wouldn't be as particular about her non-visual attributes in relation to the 7.5/10 woman.  This is mainly in thought to a non-marital relationship.  Likewise, a 8.5/10 woman would receive more leeway than the 8/10 woman, and again a 9/10 woman receives more leeway further still.  But to reiterate, this is out of wedlock consideration.

The reason I stress that this process only follows as a boyfriend and not a husband is because, as Danny strongly alludes to, a woman's peak beauty period is short lived.  Marriage only compounds this sad but true case of events, because the majority of women rapidly become more unattractive once married.  General observation is all you need to back this up.  Why?  Well most women have achieved their life dream once the ring is on the finger and the big wedding day is over, and they have little concern (although they will have firm knowledge) to the primary reason her now husband proposed to her - based on her looks.  Whereas once the cakes and fast food were resisted, and gym visits were more frequent, post marriage leads her to the opposite lifestyle pattern.  If a woman does keep up her good habits post marriage, it is either (less so) because she deeply loves and respects her husband and knows he may stray if she doesn't keep up her appearance, or (more so) due to still being on the lookout for a better male alternative. 

Kids, usually a by-product of marriage despite many women in this day and age giving birth prior so, physically deteriorate both women and men.  There is no getting away from this unfriendly fact.  Not only do the little sods give parents half the amount of sleep than the single or dating life offered, but the sheer stress of financial burden that children manifest plays on a human's mind both day and night.  I'm not a parent, but any honest parent would admit this is the case.  But as time is a more vicious and unforgiving circumstance to a woman's face and body than to a man's equivalence, the parenthood role plays a more strenuous picture, although perhaps not mind, on her than him. 

Now add on the unproven but natural consequence of marriage making women less charming and appreciative.  Prior to marriage, women have a far greater motivation to act friendly, receptive and gratifying in order to secure the sucker who will take her down the aisle.  Afterwards, poof, the slippery slide will start.  Once a woman has a grip on a man's future, she has far less inclination to be nice and accommodating.  And her demands only become stronger as each day ticks by, probably until the point (around late 30's to early 40's) where she knows very few men will marry her again.  Some of the friendliest women are in their late 30's and early 40's, but these are mainly divorcees on the lookout for a new man.  They have regained the necessity to be charming once more. 

So in essence, the moral of all this is not to get married unless you, by magic, land on a female dime that is as rare as rocking horse shit.  Another argument could be if you came into a fortune, but even then be prepared to lose a good chunk of this later down the line.  Marrying a richer woman than you is also a fair justification, although these women are seldom the best lookers.

I often view marriage, or the relationship with the woman a man marries, as a 10% happiness life span.  If the rough survival rate is around 85, at best you will have 8 years of unbelievable happiness that exceeds the single life.  Much of this 8 years will be pre-marriage rather than post wedding day.  I'm a big statistic and percentage kind of guy, and for me, 10% is not long or great enough to compensate for the other 90% of indifference or misery.

My step-sister gets married this late summer.  I'll keep my mouth shut on the day, but make no mistake that I have no problem telling people what I think on this subject.  The only exception is in the early days when a cute or hot woman comes into my life.  If they don't ask, I don't tell....      

  

4 comments:

  1. Vinay:)

    Thanks for answering:)
    By the way..can you do a post about Donald Trump(he is 70 years old... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump#Personal_life )and his about hot looking wife wife(Melania Trump 46 age..this means he is older than her by 24 years..)
    Now..if we extrapolate ..would some man,unless filthy rich like the Donald Trump...let's say...50 years old..marry someone like 26 age?..according to the 24 age gap?
    This is very interesting topic...which proves what you said all the time..that males age/ appearance plays a MUCH little role in how females select males.
    If Donald Trump wanted ,,pure love,,he'd had married anybody..no?
    As ,,love is all,,they say,,,..lol
    In the same time...why Melania Knauss (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melania_Trump) would marry a man 24 years older than her?
    If he was some dishwasher boy in some Mexico bar..you think she'd have done it?..now he is the most powerful man on the planet..no?
    Love?..
    Sometimes love is I think...is just some joke!..lol..is all about ,,value,, a woman feels with you.
    So is about value for them..as for us is beauty.
    I guess is evolution Darwin style!
    I am curious like a coyote about this topic!
    Danny

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  2. ps..you've had said==========
    My step-sister gets married this late summer. I'll keep my mouth shut on the day, but make no mistake that I have no problem telling people what I think on this subject. The only exception is in the early days when a cute or hot woman comes into my life. If they don't ask, I don't tell....

    Vinay. please tell..I am all ears!

    .my own sister has 2 kids..with her husband betta sits home,caring for them..while my sister works,,he gets ,,child allowance ,,
    in private emails she explained me that..he gets,,spanked?..if the food is not good(he cooks/cleans..etc)..or the kids not wiped good of shit of their pampers.
    If this is the life of marriAGE..i RATHER DIE,,,REALLY
    i HAVE NO IDEA how a man can do that..really..
    Maybe my sister picked the perfect betta,,who knows?
    But I can't ever imagine myself like that?
    Danny


























































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  3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_most_expensive_divorces

    Vinay..watch this first...divorce sucks!..why people ever marry if this is the price for pussy?..LoL
    Realy incredible...
    Alec Wildenstein's divorce from Jocelyn Wildenstein; estimated at $3.8 billion.[1][2][3]
    Bernie Ecclestone's divorce in 2009 after 23 years of marriage from Slavica; estimated at $1–$1.2 billion.[4]
    Harold Hamm's divorce in 2012 after 24 years from Sue Ann Arnall; estimated at $974.8 million.[5]
    Adnan Khashoggi's divorce in 1980 after 20 years from Soraya Khashoggi; estimated at $850 million.[6]
    Craig McCaw's divorce in 1997 after 21 years from Wendy McCaw; estimated to exceed $460 million.[7]
    Mel Gibson's divorce in 2006 after 26 years from Robyn Moore Gibson; estimated at $425 million.[8]
    Robert L. Johnson's divorce from Sheila Johnson: estimated at $400 million.
    Roman Abramovich's divorce from Irina Abramovich; estimated at $300 million.[9]
    Invenergy's Michael Polsky's divorce from Maya Polsky, $184 million.[10]
    Michael Jordan's divorce from Juanita Jordan, $168 million [11]
    Boris Berezovsky's divorce from Galina Besharova; estimated at $160 million.[12]
    Neil Diamond's divorce from Marcia Murphey; estimated at $150 million.[13]
    Frank McCourt's divorce from Jamie McCourt; estimated at $130 million.[14]
    Greg Norman's divorce from Laura Andrassy; estimated at $103 million.[15]
    Steven Spielberg's divorce from Amy Irving; estimated at $100 million.[16]
    Madonna's divorce from Guy Ritchie; estimated at $76–$92 million.[17]
    Kevin Costner's divorce from Cindy Silva; estimated at $80 million.[18]
    Kenny Rogers divorce from Marianne Rogers; estimated at $60 million.[19]
    James Cameron's divorce from Linda Hamilton; estimated at $50 million.[20]
    Paul McCartney's divorce from Heather Mills; estimated at $48.6 million.[21]
    Michael Douglas' divorce from Diandra Douglas; estimated at $45 million.[20]
    Ted Danson's divorce from Casey Coats; estimated at $30 million.[22]
    Donald Trump's divorce from Ivana Trump; estimated at $25 million.[23]
    Lionel Richie's divorce from Diane Richie; estimated at $20 million.[20]
    Johnny Carson's divorce from Joanna Holland; estimated at $20 million.
    Mick Jagger's divorce from Jerry Hall; estimated between $15 and $25 million.[20]

    Natalia Potanin sued her ex-husband, Vladimir for $7.5 billion. Litigation is in progress as of 2017.[24]

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  4. Hi Vinay,

    I have a couple more questions, I've been away in foreign countries and greeted well by the women there, some even asked if I'm a athlete haha.

    One good looking guy problem I've always noticed is being "used" for validation. For example, a women may talk to you to impress their friends or ask for a date themselves so that they can say they went on a date with you with no intention of moving things further. Ever experienced this? I'm usually annoyed when this happen.

    Another one is women creating (relationship) drama with your name in organizations such as school and work. Again, I think this is validation related, where their girlfriends see them having drama with an attractive guy, these girls are average at most in terms of looks. Keep in mind I try not to feed into it, but they will tell their friends lies about me asking them out and usually it's they that have been trying to date me and I respectfully declined only to be met with female harassment and a ruined reputation :(

    Anyways, curious if you have any insights on this. I feel like people don't realize that the attention that attractive guys get is sometimes unwanted and they have the option to decline. Women think if they show interest you must follow through, you don't have a choice... basically like an object.

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