Tuesday, 13 August 2013

About me and the blog

Women’s choices: men’s divorces was originally written as a book proposal.  In essence, it is a completed product to share with the outside world.  However, after consideration, and a number of publisher rejections, it became evident that my thoughts, opinions, substantiations and observations would be best utilized as an internet blog.  Without sounding like a case of sour grapes, and I’m sure people may interpret it this way, someone only has to walk into a bookstore and open the pages of a relationship themed publication to realize publishing companies are not very inclined towards subjects that hit the hard truths.  There are isolated exceptions, and when all is said and done, publishers are a business at the end of the day.  You’re simply going to offer a fallacy selling commodity in preference to one with integrity but with less demand.  I guess this is why some romantic novels are so profitable.

Nevertheless, there is a pronounced and growing audience – from mainly the male field, but some women too – that appear to be willing to face up to the reality that arrives in heterosexual bond dynamics.  People can only pull the wool over their eyes from the harsh truth for so long, because the repercussions are a far worse dealt fate than living in blissful ignorance.  With this in mind, I welcome and embrace the reading and views of honest people who are strong enough to deal with aspects of emotive scenarios that they feel were once beyond them.  I was once this person, and I’m a much happier human being for no longer belonging to this “eyes wide shut” group. 

I also do not have predilections in being part of the extreme misogynist manosphere spectrum.  Some of my best friends over the years have been women, and I have listened to their words wisely and carefully.  I would like to think I balance out the arguments and perspectives from a male and female viewpoint.  However, I’m not going to be completely two faced here, and if it wasn’t for some of the online male written material, I wouldn’t be in a position to comprehend in the manner I do today.  As although some of the language may appear too explicit and aggressive for the liking of many observers, the associated blogs I have read do mainly spell out what occurs in the real world.  They often bring a rise smile to my face too.

There is an argument that blogs of the genre I write about should only be accessible to the male population, but I disagree with this consensus.  Although I’m a firm believer that, by and large, men base their thoughts on facts whilst women form a more ideological picture of the world in heterosexual relationships and connections, the two extremes can bounce off each other.  In any case, an astute person who does nothing more than step outside of their bubble can easily locate and identify the people who bring opinions that are from a fantasy world or devised from their own insular spectrum.

My primary objective is to assist those good-hearted, genuine and well intentioned men out there – hence usually nice guys as most are by definition – who perhaps need a steer in the right direction to answer unexplainable queries behind their lack of understanding and fortune in the sexual market with women.  But as the manuscript developed, it was clear how the chapters written could also help the female happiness perspective, even if the likely outcome is one of their denials.  The two avenues – male knowledge of interaction strategy and female psychology – are inter-linked to form a better life in relationships for both parties involved.

In summary, I am here to offer my view on the world in terms of female and male intimate interactions and associations.  Like anybody else, I have many weaknesses in life, but if there’s anything I value most in myself it is my honesty, objectivity, eradication of self-bias or any agendas in partiality to the true happenings, and a level headed mindset.  I thrive on people challenging me – women and men alike – and I’m certainly not a person who closes his ears once words are heard that are adverse to my take on things.  As a good friend once said to me, “if we both agreed, then we’d both be right, and what’s the fun in that?”
All I admire in people is when their sentiments are based on a fundamental honest nature, and their egoism orientated wishful thinking is silently sidelined within their own ears.  As my sports teacher in secondary school told me when I cut corners of the running track – you’re only cheating yourself.  We can run, but we can’t hide when life’s reality smacks us full on in the face.  

So there it is.  It's about time someone from outside North America joined this party, and I aspire to give a different perspective as a writer from the UK.  It's strange, because British women, in percentage terms, will only be marginally lower than their transatlantic counterparts when it derives to certain curious decision making when interfaced with men in varying situations.  Yet British men appear light years behind American and Canadian males in their comprehension to women's emotional deliverables.  Maybe they are too trusting, more willing to give benefit to possible doubts, or more likely, they have not been as exposed to the material and information out there.  In addition to the published posts taken from the completed book, I intend to add frequent subsidiary articles that didn’t quite make the manuscript, or topics I write that inspire me on a given day.  I hope you enjoy reading the posts as much as I took pleasure out of writing them.  Most importantly, I hope you can take something out of it, no matter how great or small, in order to benefit your future encounters.  

Vi Nay.

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