Thursday, 3 June 2021

Mention a “girlfriend” to negate her boyfriend brag

 

“Neither of us were perfect, but we were perfect for each other.”

  

This post is most relevant and of benefit to the best-looking men out there, however if you are a man who falls a bit (or considerably) below this level, it will still be more than worth reading on.  If you belong to the latter, you can take another lesson in how women - often women you think may be out of your league - make decisions that are products of their uncontrollable and mainly innate character.

The typical scenario

When you see a woman who you are attracted to, it’s never a bad thing to approach her and get the question mark out of your head to whether she likes you back in the same way, or more importantly if she is willing to venture on with you in a sexual (and not platonic) manner.  This might sound obvious, but I get the feeling in this day and age that less men are approaching women they like in this way.  Granted, the pandemic and associated social distancing measures hasn’t helped, but this is now an excuse you can no longer hide behind. 

Once you do have the cojones to approach said woman, you can never be fully sure how she will receive you.  Experience, knowledge and trends significantly assist this preconception, but even these attributes will not be fail proof.  I’ve approached some women who gave me only minor indicators of interest beforehand yet who were engaging and positively receptive from the get-go, whilst on other occasions I’ve approached women who had given me undeniable eyes from afar and near, yet on announcement they would turn their heads away.

The general trend is as follows (this previous post will also assist)

·       If you are a man considerably less physically attractive than the woman you are hitting on (which is a minority of cases), unless she knows of you, she will give you truly little response in return.  This is because she has no attraction towards you at all, and sometimes she will even think her street credibility has been diminished somewhat in talking to you.  Smelling great will, to an extent, mitigate this negative female receptiveness. 

·       If you are a man who is more physically attractive than the woman you are hitting on (which represents an exceedingly small minority of cases, even smaller than the above), then more often than not you will also receive a negative response.  This is because you have put her nose out of joint in making her feel less important and valued, because her physical looks (which is her biggest selling point to men and the world) has been deleveraged.  At best, her lack of eye contact and engagement will be because she feels awkward and somewhat uncomfortable in her attraction towards you.

·       If you are a man who is marginally (but noticeably - hence 10% to 15%) less physically attractive than the woman you are hitting on (which will represent the vast majority of cases), you will receive the most positive and amenable response.  This is because you strike the perfect balance and sweet spot between the above two scenarios.  In essence, you neither make her feel embarrassed nor inferior, and she is at her most comfortable state of mind when alongside you. 

Q-tip 1:

All else equal, any man should objectively rate his own physical attractiveness grade and then subsequently screen for women who are 10% to 15% more physically attractive in gender relative terms.  Occasionally, this can even be leveraged to a 20% difference.  On fewer occasions still, a >20% upgrade is within a man’s grasp.

How to negate the usual approach knockback

On the basis she doesn’t simply blank you and does in fact engage in conversation, as a man you need to implement this three-stage process, and it needs to be incorporated in small timeframes between each: 

1)    Find a common theme between the two of you

2)    Break the touch barrier

3)    Talk and act sexual (in turn getting her alone) 

Now, not for minute is this process, outside of bars and nightclubs, an easy strategy to fulfil.  If so, there will need to be a degree of flexibility and ad lib mindset in your delivery.  In any case, the lesson is clear – you don’t want to waste too much time on something that won’t develop sexually. 

Nevertheless, if the implicated environmental opportunities for stages 2 and 3 are not realistic possibilities, yet she has shown willingness at stage 1, you need to be asking her (after a few minutes) to whether she is in a relationship.  There are four main likelihoods in her answers:

1)    She genuinely is not in a relationship.  In this case, ask her out.

2)    She is in a relationship (even if only casual), but she tells you she is not.  In this case, she will have felt an attraction towards you.  She is keeping her options open due to clearly not being totally into her boyfriend (or he could be a jerk and she is into him, but she realizes he is not good long-term material).  Ask her out.

3)    She isn’t in a relationship, but she tells you she is.  In this case she has no intention of moving things on with you.  Move on to the next woman and forget about her.  Further explanation of course of action is given below.

4)    She is genuinely in a relationship.  Explanation of course of action shown below. 

So, 1 and 2 is clear, with 3 and 4 looking like a dead end has been hit.  So in the case of 3 or 4, rather than just wilt like a flower in dejection and depression, you should have this back up plan which has always served me well and given me the last laugh. 

Mention your “girlfriend”

I’ve found that most (but certainly not all) women who gave me indicators of interest either blank me on approach or quickly mention they have a boyfriend.  I used to get a little frustrated at this, but it soon dawned on me why this happened

I also tended to get annoyed because it was like I’d given the woman the best of both worlds.  Not only did she receive the attention, effort and validation of my approach for the price of nothing to her, but she also had the backup and sometimes slightly cocky response in bragging about her boyfriend.  Most usual, this boyfriend would be nothing to brag about when I saw him down the line.

It was at that stage in my life that I would come up with the easiest of solutions.  I simply mentioned my “girlfriend”.  Sometimes I would have a girlfriend by nature and definition, but usually (such was the fact I was approaching another woman) I did not.  The typical conversation would proceed as follows: 

Me: “So are you in a relationship right now?  Don’t give me any bullshit, as I know of some women who say they are when they aren’t, and some who say they aren’t when they are.  Coming to think it, why do you ladies do this?” (knowing the answer to my own question of course, but using it to lighten things up). 

Her: “Yes I am” (those who really had no intention to get to know me would have already announced the boyfriend prior to me asking).

Me: “Oh cool, how long have you been together?”

Her: “Two years now.” 

Me: “Aah, that’s about the same time as us…….”

Sometimes I’d even give a little story about how the “girlfriend” (based on an ex-girlfriend) and I got together, illustrating and emphasizing how cute it was.

Q-tip 2:

An underrated and priceless disposition for a man is to be in a situation where he believes he is as (or more) important than the woman he is talking to.  This mentality has to be in a humble and unspoken manner though.  Most men perform the inverse mentality – in believing she is too good for him.  Nevertheless, this dynamic can become counter-productive when the woman, deep down, starts to believe he is too good for her.  The balance between the two extreme concepts is a fine one.

 A final thought

You would think, wouldn’t you, that if a woman has no intention to become sexually involved with a man, she would then be happy in her emotions and positive in her body language once the man who approaches her consequently mentions his girlfriend?  Let me tell you that, and this also includes married women, on not one occasion was this female response of positivity and glee on her part.  Let me tell you that on every occasion it was of a face drop, head down, transparent disappointment, and most notable, jealousy that was impossible to hide.

Why is this the case, you may ask? 

·       For one, women don’t like the thought of another woman having sex with a visually and most likely objectively better man than their own male partner.  Funnily and ironically enough, they have no problem in a lesser man having sex with any other woman in the world! 

·       Second, the man who approached her has now negated her broadcasting self-importance that another man loves her.  Women like to think they have the best man and relationship in the world (until they are ready to leave him, when they make no hesitation in portraying him as the devil), so when another man tells her about his girlfriend, she loses this verbal power.  The better looking the man, the more envious she is that he attains a girlfriend. 

·       Third, and most important, is the belief in her mind that you have been preselected by another woman.  Every man, no matter where he falls on the lineage of male physical attractiveness and overall sought-after quality, is thought of as more attractive and appealing by another woman once she has knowledge of another woman alongside him.  This is on the provision and caveat that his female partner is more physically attractive than him.

A final, final thought

With all the above in mind, and if you only ever take one thing out of this post, believe me this strategy doesn’t half make approaching women much easier.  It also, as much instrumental to your trepidation mindset of outcome dependence, makes the whole exercise far easier to encounter. 

As long as she doesn’t blank you from the start (which will sometimes still happen), it is a win-win situation.  If she doesn’t state she has a boyfriend, it is conceivable she considers you as worth getting to know (albeit this is by no means a guarantee she has intentions of sleeping with you at that stage).  If she does state she has a boyfriend, then you have the “girlfriend” up your sleeve to fully nullify your inner disappointment.  When all said and done, she cannot claim she is any better than you in this respect.

Q-tip 3:

A whale’s intention is to eat you up, and most people hold no defence, acting as plankton whilst allowing the whale (or bully) to do so.  A select minority however do hold their ground, they do not swim away, and they refuse to be the greedy sod’s lunch.  Be that fish who acts as the remora.

Tuesday, 25 May 2021

Do some women like bald men?

 

“The most stupid question is the question you never asked,

and the question you don’t know the answer to.”

  

It is a topic you might find yourself hearing amongst female groups, or indeed mixed groups – do women find bald men physically attractive?  Like anything else involved in women’s emotional verbalization and genuine physical attractiveness in men, you should do these two things:

1)    Watch what she does, ahead of listening to what she says.

2)    Analyse her body language when she speaks about her predilections.

As someone who has gone full circle with hair on head prominence, I am in a reasonable position to assess it from both sides.  Prior to six months of aggressive chemotherapy, I possessed a full head of hair without the slightest sign of it receding.  This may sound an obvious statement as a young man, but I’m sure anyone knows at least one man in their life who started to lose his hair as soon as his early twenties came about.  By the time I was into the final month (ironically, it started to slowly grow back prior to the final chemo session) of chemotherapy, I effectively looked like a man who had lost most of his hair on top, and who had opted to shave it.  No longer than three months post chemotherapy completion, it was pretty much back to its previous length, texture, and colour.

How did women receive me on both scales?

The year before diagnosed with cancer, I was at a sweet spot in terms of my physical attractiveness peak.  I was still partly fresh faced as a late teenager/early 20s man, but not too much in the way of a “pretty boy” vision (as one woman I dated pointed that out a couple of years prior).  What I didn’t have as much then, in comparison to post cancer, was as high degree of confidence, self-assurance, and couldn’t give a crap attitude to what people think of me.  I had countless women give me the eye, but I can’t help but confess to, back then, not dealing with every situation with efficient and productive response.

Throughout the six months of chemotherapy was much more complex to evaluate.  To start with, there wasn’t too much change.  The hair loss didn’t come to fruition until about a month into the treatment, but naturally far fewer women noticed my presence (apart from those who may have wondered why I looked different).  After the first month, I may as well have been invisible to most women I didn’t know personally up until the final day.  Ironically though, more than a few women at work, who previously never engaged with me before chemo, were much more engaging and proactive with me.  At the time I thought this was down to nothing more than their concern and sympathy.  In retrospect, I believe it was more down to me looking much more vulnerable and attainable to them.  For the record, I had it shaven after about two months (in truth and hindsight, I should have taken this approach before the first session).

A couple of weeks after my final chemotherapy session, I went on two nights out prior to Christmas approaching.  I hadn’t been out at all for six months in this context.  By now my hair was starting to look like a man who had opted to shave it with a full head of hair (hence the hair follicles had grown back), although, whilst looking younger than myself of receding hair look, I looked five years older than my usual stylish hairstyle look. 

The first night out surprised me.  I went to Germany (Stuttgart) with a friend for a football, Christmas market and beer weekend, and the first night I noticed quite a few women giving me eye contact.  The following weekend I was back in Derby.  It was the night I met my longest term (albeit on and off) girlfriend still to this day.  She looked stunning, yet I had to look behind me to check that she was in fact looking at me.  We joked for years that, considering I was clearly not looking my best, the calibre of men in there must have been pretty dire in order for her to find me the best catch!  In hindsight once more, and I did allude to this with her once or twice (to which, obviously, she both denied and tried to bypass the subject) that perhaps the fact she was looking at a man 10% to 15% less physically attractive than her was what appealed the most.

Three months after chemotherapy, and with negligible differences to this day, I have never had so many women check me out.  This can be women a young as their late teens to women in their 50s.  A lot to do with this is developing into a more rugged and handsome look (even though I don’t think I’m as good looking as I was prior to cancer), but the greater part, I firmly believe, is because I carry my demeanour in a far more confident, assured, and assertive manner.

Q-tip 1:

Women are far more attracted to a man’s positive body language and confidence than his physical allure per se.  A good-looking man with minimal confidence, who can’t look people in the eye and carry himself with self-assurance, can only go so far with the numbers of women who will find him attractive. 

So, do women like bald men?

The question remains then, what percentage of women prefer bald men (or at least have no preference either way) if all else is equal?  As always, other than intrigue I hold truly little validity to what women say or any internet poll where they can hide behind their lies, however this one link did stand out as a highlighted search.  I offer you the below snapshot to the findings:

“As women get older, they find men with clean-shaven heads more attractive. 44% of women 35 to 44 find bald men attractive compared to only 19% of women 18 – 24. As a majority of men tend to really start losing their hair a little later in life, this is very encouraging.”

The answers from the three female age groups (18 to 24, 25 to 34, and 35 to 44) in the study most likely reflect what you would find in the real world, with perhaps some intricate fibs on their parts. 

18 to 24 women

Even though I go down on record as stating at least half of women in this age range still prefer to be with a man who is less physically attractive, I find that most women in this age range still want their man to look good.  If it is the general consensus (and truth) that a man looks better with hair than without, then the vast majority of women in the younger years will not find bald men attractive.  In simple language, a young woman then is still inclined to go for a less physically attractive man, yet she will seek a less physically attractive man with hair on top.  Nearly half of women, therefore, aged 18 to 24 find bald men unattractive.

35 to 44 women

I’ve jumped to elder age range for a reason.  The study shows that, give or take a percentage or two, women finding a bald man attractive or unattractive in the female age range of 35 to 44 is a direct inverse to the women aged 18 to 24.  Whereas nearly half of young women find bald men unattractive, close on half of women aged 35 to 44 do find bald men attractive.  Only one in five older women find a bald man unattractive, so they say…

25 to 34 women

As always, I find this age range of women (and even more so if it is 24 to 32) the most complex.  The more complex a man finds a woman, the more likely it is because she lies the most when sitting in this age bracket.

According to the study, only 25% of women aged 25 to 34 find bald men attractive, whilst 41% find them unattractive.  Interesting.  I find that women in this age range, over and above the younger and elder female age ranges as illustrated, tend to seek out uglier men (uglier in respect to themselves) more than any other timeframe.  If I’m right, based on my steely eyed observations, yet only one in four women find a bald man attractive, you can only conclude that most the vast majority of women aged 25 to 34 do want a less physically attractive man, but they desire him to be uglier in attaining a full head of hair. 

Conclusions

This would be my conclusion to it all, amalgamating the findings with the reality and lies.

·       Nearly all young women (18 to 24 in this case), given the choice, prefer men with hair - irrespective to whether they want him to be less physically attractive in an overall sense or not.

·       Women aged 25 to 34 do prefer a man with hair than without, however they hold the greatest need to be with a man who is less physically attractive.  Consequently, some women in this age range will still contemplate a man without hair on top, and a smaller segment will even actively look for a man without hair due to his lower appeal to other women.

·       More women aged 35 to 44 will be open to dating bald men, but the percentage (44%) of women declaring they find bald men attractive is, in the main, a fib.  What they are really saying is, due to their (women post 34) reduced options in the sexual market, is they would bring down their physical standards in men in order to have that male companion.

A final thought

Irrespective of what women say on the subject of men with hair on top or not, and as stated above this often has to be taken with a pinch of salt in terms of the truth and reality, probably the bigger issue here is what men themselves would like.  In essence, I doubt there is more than 1% of men out there who prefers his bald head in comparison to when he had a full head of hair.  He will most likely prefer his shaved bald look to receding look (and so he should), but that’s not the question here.

If so many men were happy with their bald head, then there wouldn’t be this whole hair growth obsession you now see with both celebrity men and everyday men.  All I can say is, and Wayne Rooney is a classic example, that I’m yet to see a hair growth/transplant process that has made a man look really good.  Granted, it may marginally make him look better than the bald image, but does it really make up for the expense, time, sacrifice, and hassle to go through with it?

Q-tip 2:

If you have a physical deficiency as a man, this can be more than compensated by non-physical desirables which women are attracted to.  A man blaming his physical deficiency as the reason he can’t find a woman is the same dynamic as a woman claiming she cannot find a man because her expectations are too high.

 

Acknowledgements

Prim & Prep

Wednesday, 12 May 2021

Avoid at all costs

 

“A vision of authority protrudes external admiration.

 A vision of nerves creates external repulse.”

  

There are certain visions of men that bring about an emotion in me which is balanced between sympathy and disgust.  An example could be, for want of a better one, when you walk past someone who is wearing a clearly cheap cologne, yet it doesn’t hide the fact he hasn’t washed his armpits in a couple of days.

Unless you have been living in a cave for the last few years, pretty much any adult in the world will recognize the man in the above video.  Welcome to the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom – our very own Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (Boris Johnson to you and me!).

As far as status and profile is considered in the United Kingdom, it gets no bigger or influential than the Prime Minister.  The key word here is status.  There will be many businessmen, actors, sports stars, entrepreneurs etc who are far wealthier than BJ, but they wouldn’t be as well known.  Ask any adult (and most adolescents) who the random aforementioned celebrity or similar is, and only a percentage (depending on who he or she is) will be able to tell you.  Show a picture of Boris Johnson to this same group of people, and pretty much every single one will know it is him. 

Of course, without knowing him personally, I really like Boris Johnson on face value.  It’s been a tough time since he took over the realms, most notably guiding us (with a lot of good decisions compared to other countries) through the national epidemic and global pandemic.  He comes across as a genuine, decent, likeable and approachable guy, and that is my kind of person.  A lot of idiots working in middle/senior management or directorship - who think they are the bee’s knees basked in arrogance, self-importance mentality, and bully boy approach (because they have nothing other than their profession to stand out in life) – should take note. 

I even said to someone the other day that if Boris joined us for a pint, it would just be like him being one of the lads and he would easily blend in with the group and amusement.  My friend said that we would probably even talk more sense than him – a comment that made me chuckle but was perhaps a bit harsh.

Dreadful male body language and demeanour

Unfortunately, on this occasion, I need to pick on his act above to spell out how awful it portrays him.  A vision of this kind radiates neediness, nervousness, insecurity, supplication, jealousy, a lack of trust in being with a better-looking female partner, and a downright deficiency of confidence in his own existence, calibre, and sought-after status to other women.

Someone like Boris Johnson, even with the ridicule he would sustain for holding onto his fiancĂ©’s arm, can get away with this due to his Prime Minister label.  Many women would even give the “It’s so cute” crap because it shows how much he loves her and is protective of her.  Wrong.  Love and protection of a woman should not be construed as all the negative verbs illustrated above.  Love and protection are easy offerings to give a woman, effortless in their nature, but commanding, assertive and assured in her recipient mind.

Not to be confused with this previous post, a man should always strive to be in a position where his female partner, irrespective to whether it is his (new or long term) girlfriend, fiancĂ©, or wife, is the one uncontrollably and subconsciously (even unconscious to a point if in bed during the night/early morning) taking his arm, hand or otherwise.  When it is the inverse situation – him grabbing her – then there are only murky waters ahead at worse, or at best she puts up with it based on her ego being a bigger priority than her heart.

Q-tip:

Be the man who only grabs his female partner’s hand when she is in a potentially vulnerable external scenario (hence a crowded environment), or when a dominant approach is required (hence towards the bedroom). 

A final thought

Some of you may be wondering why Boris Johnson would get away with this poor act of kind in relation to any other (non-famous) man off the street.  A longer explanation of this concept will be given in another post, however for now, I’ll simplify it in the way of how (post 23 years of age, and some younger too) women prioritize their requirements in what a man can offer them:

1)    Her survival (hence a man’s economic status producing a better life for her)

2)    Her ego/self-importance (his profile/status accordingly raising her status)

3)    Her sexual needs/inclinations for fulfilment (fundamentally picking the men who arouse her the most)

Obviously, Boris ticks the top two very highly.  Again, a more elaborated illustration of this female selection criteria awaits in a future post.


Acknowledgements

www.youtube.com

Monday, 3 May 2021

The vision of a lonely woman


“People don’t seize moments.  Moments seize people.”

(Boyhood, 2014)

  

As regular readers of this blog will have worked out long ago, I’m not the most forgiving or compassionate when it comes to women’s situations in life on a general basis.  I believe they make a rod for their own backs, mostly and metaphorically.  

Nevertheless, on occasions my compassion, thoughts and consideration do stretch beyond the normal stingy offerings, especially when it appears like a woman is struggling in life.  This male concern tends to increase in a direct lineage with female age, and this makes sense.  As women get older, they become less desirable to men.  As they become less desirable to men, they usually become friendlier and more approachable.  As they become friendlier and approachable, it is a natural inclination for a man to be friendly and engaging in return.  Unlike women who are aroused and attracted to men acting like jerks/bad boys, men are less attracted to women who act like bitches and a basically unpleasant human being.  Most women fail to, or refuse to, get this easy concept in their heads.                            

The anecdote

In this post written a few months ago, I documented meeting an attractive young woman where it appeared to have promise in where it could lead.  To clarify straight away, it didn’t lead to anything.  There were a few reasons why: 

·       First, with UK lockdown announced measures extended for at least another few months post our interactions in January, there was no opportunity to meet.  This naturally, on both her and my part, deflated the enthusiasm in text language.  If you can’t get sexual, there really is no place to go.

·       Second, I still get the feeling she had some kind of “ex” on the scene where, whilst not her boyfriend, didn’t allow her to fully commit her mind to me.  I always had the feeling I was kind of her next lined up guy after this one finished.

·       Third, my liking towards her as a person incrementally decreased every day for the approximate four weeks we kept in touch.  Whilst she most definitely came across as potential girlfriend material when we met and spoke, her games, disappearing acts (in text terms) and attempted apathy (most likely contrived rather than natural) started to piss me off.  Over time, she came across as a time waster and, quite frankly, someone who had her head in the clouds and came out with a lot of crap.

Once she didn’t reply to my final text around middle of January, I wrote this off as something that will 99% chance not ever come to anything.  It actually came as a relief, as due to not being able to see her, I would never have been able to totally know whether her apathetic demeanour was one of not being that interested, or conversely being very interested but vainly attempting to act otherwise to keep her pride and ego intact.  These are the things only truly known when you see a woman in actuality.  

Post lockdown

The first Saturday morning after gyms reopened, as I walked through the male changing rooms into the gym area, she miraculously came out of the female’s equivalent at the same time.  Coincidence or planning on her part?  I looked at her and the first thing that struck me was how much weight she had lost.  I hate to condemn women for this, especially considering how most women have put on weight during the closure of gyms and similar, however her nice curves had transformed to a skinnier frame not as much to my liking.  Her skin was also incredibly spotty.  She mentioned, most likely to justify why she wasn’t looking too great, how she had been out the night before on cocktails.  Strange that, as I don’t know of many people, let alone women, who would attend the gym at 8am after a night on the booze. 

We walked down to the weights area, but the voice inside my head had no inclination whatsoever to talk for long about the interim period or anything else.  I was fortunate that my first planned exercise was at the near side of this area, to which she said (with enthusiasm) that she would see me later.  I rattled on with my workout, and never went to see her.

The following Saturday, she was working out around the core body area which is situated where I was to wrap up that day.  After I had completed my workout, I felt obliged to have a quick chat.  She never asked me anything about myself, and all content was about her job, her friends, her planned vacations, and a (friend’s) wedding in the summer.  That aside, as she spoke there wasn’t a part of my penis that ran away with my mind.  I had lost pretty much all my sexual attraction onto her.  I made a final comment to finish the conversation, and I walked off.

The following Saturday, she walked in and commenced dead lifts about ten yards from me.  I noticed she had her hair tied up, but enough to indicate that her hair had been trimmed from waist/lower back length to shoulder length/2” past shoulder.  That’s an eight to twelve inches off her once long, brunette style. 

Q-tip 1:

I fully appreciate sometimes women need to shorten their hair length based on mitigating circumstances, and some, once kids come along, will do it through conscious choice due to the reduced time it then takes to get ready each morning.  Nevertheless, a woman who reduces her hair length by a significant margin will, by near absolution, lose a pronounced degree of her physical attractiveness.  Any honest man would say the same.

The lonely look

I can tell a lonely look in a woman’s face when I see one.  I can also detect one that reflects frustration in life.  This woman couldn’t hide either.  No amount of social media posting about how dramatic, busy, fast-paced, popular and sociable her life is will conceal the reality that goes on inside her head.

I sympathise for these kinds of women – like her at the heart of this post – because I have, by and large, found myself in romantic involvements with girl’s girls (women who are more into girl gatherings than having a boyfriend all the time) than homely girls (women who seemingly are never without a boyfriend in life).  This is despite the latter outweighing the former by, based on my estimations and experiences, a 10:1 ratio.  Girl’s girls love the life when there are plenty of female social options.  As explained in this post, the last year, and the medium term here on in at least, isn’t a great place to be this woman.

The usual scenario of female friendships groups

The problem for girl’s girls is, as strongly implied above, they are only as happy as the women who accompany them.  In any given female social - whether genuine friendship, convenience friendship, or fake friendship – the chances of all women belonging to a girl’s girl character is near on impossible.  Even looking at it optimistically from her perspective, a group of eight women would comprise of this:

·       1 nr dedicated girl’s girl

·       2 nr single girls who will, at that particular time, will be indifferent about meeting a potential boyfriend

·       2 nr single girls who are actively on the lookout for a boyfriend.  They aren’t too keen on girl gathering longevity, but they do like to stay in touch for drama’s sake

·       3 nr women who have boyfriends, and rarely go out with the girls 

Like I say, this is the girl’s girl optimistic scenario, and it will most likely be between the ages of 18 to 22.  Beyond this age range, and the boyfriend inclination and likelihood of a woman only increases. 

With this in mind, the chances for a girl’s girl to have constant, consistent and regular female gatherings is very slim over a long timeframe.  Simply put, most women prefer the validation of a boyfriend showing he loves her, no matter how mediocre or low quality the man in question may be. 

The good news for girl’s girls

With all this said, there will almost always be a safety net for a girl’s girl to fall into.  By sheer nature of subconsciously being (or consciously choosing to be) a girl’s girl, the vast majority of these women will belong to the most alluring segment of female physical attractiveness.  It is exceedingly rare to find a woman who is a girl’s girl to be <7.5/10, and far more often she will be >8/10. 

On the other side of this dynamic is their preference in men.  Girl’s girls will typically have high demands in male quality criteria (usually based on his wealth and status, but sometimes on his physical attractiveness level too), however as we know, there are far more attractive women in the world than high quality men in supply.  In sheer mathematics terms then, a high percentage of girl’s girls would be left waiting forever if they only settled for men at the highest end of male sought after calibre.

However, over time a woman will reduce her demands once the female group starts to diminish into numbers barely more than herself, and the irritation of being single for too long, simultaneous to her female friends broadcasting how great their male partners are (broadcasting that will rarely be as true or objective as they claim it to be), will lead to her looking at the next tier below in male offerings.  If still unable to locate a male suitor in that tier, she will reluctantly look in the tier below. 

If typical said girl’s girl is the usual 7.5/10 to 8.5/10 in physical attractiveness, there will be a huge pool of men for her to select from.  As most men (75% as a conservative estimation) will fall into mediocrity (not just physical looks, but most other metrics too) in male sought after terms, this will manifest as an end concept of seven or eight men out there for every single girl’s girl.  Some of these men will be single anyway, but even most men with girlfriends would ditch their better halves for an opportunity to be with a hotter woman.

Q-tip 2:

Only marriage will stand in the way of most men ditching their lesser looking female partners for the opportunity with a much hotter woman.  Absence of marriage, there are very few consequences he needs to consider.

A final thought

You will hear a lot of women bemoan the circumstance that the reason they are single is because they can’t find a man.  You can call bullshit on this claim.  What she is really saying (without having the courage to say it) is that she can’t find a man (at that particular time in her life) who meets the criteria of her demands and expectations.  

Any woman of 7/10 (And I’d even go as low as 6.5/10) or above should never have difficulty in finding a man once she grasps the reality of life, expectations, and the sheer gender number comparisons as explained above.  If she is single, and she consequently holds a grudge with life about it, she needs to take a closer look to home.

If any woman below 6.5/10 is single, she has a more justified reason to complain about being single for too long.  In this case, she faces the unfortunate circumstance where the majority of men are simply scouting for something a bit better.  There are still plenty of men out there for her, she just has to be realistic to the kind of men who will commit.

Wednesday, 21 April 2021

Men’s mistakes in replicating women’s habits

 

“Turn the mirror away from you.  This way you become in control of yourself naturally.”

  

I, like many, was extremely happy when the gyms reopened last Monday in the United Kingdom.  Unlike a lot of women, including attractive women, who have clearly piled some winter pounds on during the last four months, I have pretty much maintained my body profile minus a bit of muscle size.  I’m glad to be back in the routine, nonetheless. 

I only joined this current gym last September, and allowing for shutdowns, this would mean I’ve barely been attending more than three months in essence.  One man who stood out, for the wrong reasons, was a man who wore the over ear (and hence, oversized) headphones.  The guy is around 6ft 2” tall, average looking facially, with an above average but not overly striking body profile.  He strikes me as, without me knowing him on a personal level, someone who rates himself a fair bit higher than objectivity shows.  It wouldn’t surprise me if he is one of those men working in a middle to upper management position in construction, accountancy, law or similar, with the BMW/Audi/Mercedes company car to suit.  If I’ve met one man like that in my life, then I’ve met thousands of others.

I emphasise the over ear headphones, because I think this accessory doesn’t do men any favours with regards to a person’s perception and interpretation of his confidence.  If a man holds desires to make women find him more attractive, remember that women are assessing his confidence levels more than anything else.  If said man falls below this required benchmark level on her part, he is running on an uphill treadmill from the start. 

But many women wear these headphones…?

Yes they do, but as much as women wear them because they hope people will interpret this as them (said woman) being cool, busy, and zoned into training, the bigger truth is it is an insecurity characteristic that attempts to conceal the lack of inner assurance to interact and hold eye contact with anyone other than someone she knows.

This isn’t a big issue at all to women, because men don’t judge women on confidence levels.  Most men even prefer women with shy, insecure, and low confidence traits.  Basically, as long as a woman looks good, men barely give a thought to other factors (other than her personality when considering the longer term).

The other way round….

On the other hand, women place far less emphasis on the way a man looks (as has been documented numerous times on this blog, it can be counter-productive for a man to look too good) and far greater attention to other factors.  Until the time she has knowledge of his wealth and status levels, the only other metrics, outside of physical attractiveness, she can judge him on is confidence and body language.  Don’t throw this down the toilet.

As a shopping list, here is an unexhaustive list of things a man should do:

·       Strong posture

·       Walking with his head held high, eyes looking in a totally straight direction

·       Acknowledging people when they walk past with a slight nod

·       Indifferent, but slight smirk facial expression when walking past people

·       Positive walking action, but not too shoulder swaying in attempts to try too hard

·       Strong voice tone, but not too loud to again bring try hard attention to himself

·       Eradication of wearing items like headphones which illustrates he isn’t confident and at ease with the social environment

·       Good dress style, but in a clean and effortless manner

·       Great hygiene

·       Tone of eau de toilette, but relevant to the occasion (If in gym, two to three sprays.  If going to work, four to five sprays.  If on a social occasion, six to seven sprays dependant on strength)

A final thought

This is a shorter post than usual, but I don’t think much more needs to be said.  There are so many luxuries an average (and also below average) looking man has to attract women of greater physical attractiveness in gender relative terms than the equivalent looking woman has to attract sought after men.  Take advantage of this undeniable life situation.

Q-tip:

A woman wants a man who is above her in as many comparable metrics as possible, with the exception of physical attractiveness. 

Tuesday, 30 March 2021

Women dissing better men than the men they are with


Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 

"The world is a great place and worth fighting for."  I agree with the second part.

(William Somerset: Se7en, 1995)

  

A reader asks a question on the back of this previous post.  It is a question that could be seen as a very strange concept in life, but with life experience and knowledge of how women psychologically work, there is an easy explanation:

 Hey vinny, I get this alot from women. I am well built from home workouts so I get quite the looks in public. I would rate myself a solid 8 on the rise.

My question is when a woman is with her bf or husband and she makes a joke or nag on my appearance what would this mean ? This happened at the park today and the guy she was with was average from an honest opinion.
If she is so into him why would she even mention me in any kind of way joking or not, is there something going on in her subconscious mind about me?
 

My response:

As has been mentioned what seems like a thousand times on this blog, all else equal (and often all else not even equal) in vast majority (90%) cases a woman will opt for a less physically attractive man as a partner than her own physical attractiveness assessment.  This gap – of how much less physically attractive a man she desires to be with - is typically 10% to 15%, but it can often be higher than this disparity range.

As has also been mentioned 999 times on this blog, it is important to emphasize said woman is selecting this less attractive man to make herself feel better about life based on his comparative lesser physical allure.  It is an ego-based motivation.  In addition, women know that the bigger the gap a man is below her physical attractiveness, the more he will appreciate her.  The more he appreciates her, the more he exerts and spends on her.  This act on behalf of men is counter-productive in winning a woman’s heart and keeping her interested, but it does stroke her ego to the point where she feels better about life and herself.  She just doesn’t feel better about being with him.

For further clarity then, a woman is picking out a lesser looking man to fulfil her self-importance in life, massage her ego, and provide herself with the most materialistic life possible.  Genuine love and positive sex – and the fulfilment she can attain in being with a man who will provide this for her – are most certainly secondary to the primary aforementioned motivations. 

An additional couple of points to the above, in terms of why women are often found with lesser looking men, are:

1) At a younger age (in particular pre 30), women on a wholesale basis are more physically attractive than men in gender relative terms.  Therefore, even in the unlikely and minority event where a woman would entertain, or even proact, in being with a man as or more physically pleasing to the eye than her, the sheer numbers alone usually enforce her to be with a lesser looking man.

2) Women don't take kindly to being single for very long.  Even career girls, girl group hungry women, or social media whores eventually prefer to be validated in proof of girlfriend status.  With this is mind, a woman will settle for a lesser looking man, even when she is not that into him, in order to show the world that somebody loves her

Why did she diss you?

Now the parameters have been set out, onto the meat in your question.  I can relate to what you experienced, as it has happened on dozens of occasions to me too. 

The first point of call is to know what is going on in that little subconscious, and sometimes conscious, mind of hers.  Deep down she knows, again perhaps more subconscious (or at least refusing to openly accept it) than conscious, that the reason she picks out mediocre looking men as like the man you described is because of the reasons I illustrated above.  You didn’t mention her physical attractiveness level, but reading between the lines she is above him in a more than pronounced upward leverage. 

Because deep down she knows why she has picked out this man in a settling (not to be confused with settling down) mentality capacity, there will always be a degree of resentment on her part that is not only projected onto him, but also onto herself.  This resentment can be mitigated to an extent if the lesser looking man has high status (social or professional) and wealth, however even then she will always be wondering what it would be like in being with a more aesthetically gifted man.  When you see movies where the underlying plot is based around an extremely attractive woman sitting by the mansion poolside whilst her rich (but uninspiring looking) husband is at work, and she is fantasizing and carrying out acts of infidelity with a hot man, rest assured that the far-fetched storyline that may exist elsewhere in the film has most definitely replicated what goes on in any other woman’s mind in this respect.

This resentment and jealousy of your significant better physical looks, in comparison to her male partner, uncontrollably acts as a way for her to try and ease and counteract this negative feeling she experiences for those few seconds (or longer if it was a meeting of another kind).  Her piss taking of you is not a product of genuine and natural verbal execution, but simply a way to try and make her feel better about herself once more.  In that moment, she is thinking of the words “jerk”, “playa”, “crap boyfriend material”, “cheater”, “poser”, “a man who takes longer in the mirror than her”, or “a man who has nothing more than his good looks”.  For a few seconds if nothing else, she has convinced her mind that she is better off with the man alongside her.  

Of course, any man who knows how women work will know why she acted this way, and in your case you should take this as the biggest back-handed compliment around. 

Q-tip:

In a woman’s mind, the opposite of love is not hate.  The opposite of love is when she feels totally indifferent towards a man to the point where he may as well be invisible.  If you can’t be loved by a woman, it is no bad thing at all to be hated by her. 

Hopefully, this explains the reason why she was negative towards you.  When women stop looking at you – whether in admiration or hostility – and refrain from dissing you in the way you documented, this is the day when you are no longer attractive to women in the way you once were.  It is a similar dynamic to the way a woman experiences inundated male glances, attention and expenditure when she is 21, and for every year that passes by, the quantity decreases.  By the time she has reached 30 (and 35 even more so), she may as well be a different person who graces the earth.

A final thought – possible comebacks

I know it’s not easy to always have a spur of the moment response when - as women do in a gutless way rather than eye to eye - make these silly comments when walking the opposite way, it’s a self-enriching process to have a few lines to fire back at her:

·       “As long as you feel better about yourself in being with him, sweetheart.”

·       “When you want a real man and better sex, come and see me, babe.”

·       “Sounds like someone has a thing for me!?”

·       “Most women would die to sit on this body.  Wow, you must be different to them.”

·       “I guess you’re a girl who isn’t bothered about men’s looks then?”

All of the above will, whilst not saying it in direct form, allow her to know what you are getting at.  She will know exactly what you infer, and in that moment you have fully negated her sassy and stupid comment.  She will wish she never opened her mouth.

Part of me doesn’t like the comments I offer, as it may well be that the man she is with is just a genuine, honest, likeable and nice guy.  Unfortunately for him, if this is the case, his girlfriend crossed me, so it left me with no choice but to load my gun and shoot back. 

My preferred strategy is when a woman would actually say this sassy comment face to face, and then not run off in cowardice fashion. At that point I would bombard her with discrete but understandable psychology in the form of what I write in this blog.  This scenario has rarely happened to me, as again there aren’t many women who have the guts to do this and hold their ground.  Women are in far greater comfort zone when they don’t put themselves at risk to hear things their prides couldn’t bear to hear.

On the isolated occasions this has happened, as soon as I have given them a mild dose of psychological explanation in alluding to their insecurities (in dissing me or picking a lesser looking man), they have more often than not immediately walked off without response.  You could argue I have cut my nose to spike my face – as it may have been an opportunity for short term sex – but from my experience, the body language in a woman gives it away from the get-go.  

In essence, if she said this comment with a slight smile and awkward demeanour, I’d be much softer with my response in thinking she does quietly want me to take things further.  If the female approach is with fire in her belly, resentment in her face, and hostility towards my existence, I would act out exactly as explained.  There is no way this woman would touch me with a barge pole – at least three weeks in the month anyway!