Tuesday 30 December 2014

Dutch DJ illustrates high status attraction

“Life doesn’t give second chances in entirety, but what it does instead is offer opportunities to resurrect past mistakes, regrets, embarrassments and misdemeanours.”

If you have ever spent more than a few seconds of your life wondering why certain mediocre, or even ugly, DJs appear to effortlessly attract women to their attentions within your local town or city, you most definitely won’t be alone.  This subject first came to my mindset when I ventured out in bars and clubs in Derby before I could legally take a sip of the stronger stuff.

I always remember how it appeared to be a running joke back then with regards to how ugly DJs tended to be.  In retrospect, not that many were actually ugly per se.  They were just simply not blessed with good looks, so the idle male jealous reaction when viewing a man of this kind with a more than blessed looking woman is to identify him as being grotesque.  By and large, these “music maestros” were average in physical attractiveness.

This “averageness” stacks up in logical terms.  Less than 1% of men can be categorized as very good looking in facial terms, and many of these with handsome features are lacking in height or body profile impressiveness.  Then bear in mind that, if I was to base it on my home city, there are no more than a dozen men in a position of worthwhile venue DJ profiles in comparison to the other 10,000 guys out that weekend night.  So the probability of finding a physically blessed DJ is going to be extremely remote.  With absolute isolated exceptions taken on board, no ego and attention seeking woman dating a DJ will convince me otherwise.

As a fan of electronic music, I came across this link during a bitterly cold winter afternoon the other day.  The DJ is Martin Garrix – an 18 year old kid from The Netherlands.  The venue in Alkmaar played host to the annual gig in late April this year that was labelled SLAM!Koningsdag 2014.  Of course, I’m only telling readers from Holland what they already know about their nation’s “King’s Day” and this respective festival. 

The demographics seen in the crowd are what you would expect at a social event of this kind within an audience aged predominantly 16 to 21.  Even more predictable was the gender split, and their relative position within the many tens of thousands.  What you see is common to any social gathering where high status men are present.  It is clear to see that >95% of spectators at the front are female, even though an estimate of fewer than 20% of the total capacity belong to this gender.  Other young women scattered around could be seen on their lapdog boyfriends’ shoulders.  This is a sight to me – men allowing their female partners to “show off their worth to the world” at a leveraged height above ground level – that acts as a pathos as much as it brings amusement. 

The majority of the crowd (>80%) were your typical clueless beta male followers who would be there more for the low chance of pulling girls than the music offering.  This is a lesson in itself for all mankind, but especially teenage boys/early 20s men with time on their sides to learn the most.  A 1:5 girl/guy ratio is never easy at the best of times, but you are pretty much wasting your efforts throughout a timescale where female eyes, tongues and sometimes even vaginal juices are transfixed onto one so more powerful than you.  Even men accompanying their girlfriends will need to accept that she will spend the whole hour or so wishing she was with him and not you.  The truth may hurt, but the truth can allow you to lean on perspective, know women for what they are, make wiser decisions and choose smarter actions in the future.

With reference to this gig where Garrix is the star of the show, but in general terms too, this is why DJs (or high profile men of similar status) attract women in a way a boy off the street could only dream of:

Modern day media exposure 

Like never before and growing year on year, our eyes cannot avoid magazines, TV programs, information on celebrity earnings and internet exposure on the rich and famous lifestyle.  All this manifests in making that little brain of ours wish we were in their shoes.  Men can be guilty of these habits, but needless to say women, who have a stronger urge of self-entitlement and lower inclination to pro-act their life onto a higher step, are the sex who see it through both greater envious and infatuated thresholds.  So when they are in the presence of male high status, women find it hard to control their attraction onto the focused man.

Male power

This video offers no greater example to how a DJ is portrayed with power in the face of onlookers.  Within a crowd of near on six figures, Garrix is the conductor of the orchestra, and he pretty much has every one of them on a string.  Even low profile local DJs playing in front of mere hundreds or dozens have this same relative greater strength.  Women love powerful men of all kinds, and this can be seen in any company you work in where the main director may be skinny, lanky, spotty and socially awkward, yet female attraction onto him cannot be concealed. 

In fairness to Garrix, he is a very decent looking young man anyway.  Sure, he may be a bit short and lack any true stand out physical presence, but he would attract a reasonable number of young women his age without any high profile.  But place all this on a powerful plate, and a dish is served that represents a true babe magnet to women of various age brackets, but in particular girls of similar age to him.

Male pre-selection and importance

Women also love pre-selected men who have full confirmation that other people – women and men alike – desire to be in his company.  So 11 footballers playing in front of thousands of attendees have full proof that people admire them.  An overweight chief executive making a speech to a hundred folk in the work canteen is worth far more than any of the younger or better looking male counterparts during those few minutes.  One single man spinning tunes on a laptop to 100,000 music gatherers negates any quality that other men attain within the close environment.

Female leveraged social proof and self-importance

Nevertheless, none of the above points come close to the uncontrollable needs that the female mind obtains in terms of a required level of social proof and self-importance elevation.  Being a self-centred, self-obsessed and self-conscious creature to planet earth, if a woman can grasp onto a man’s status standing, this allows her inner perceived importance grade to jump above any of her close friends and foes.  This factor alone is worth far more to her than the attraction onto the high status man due to his popular profile.

Never has a need for social validation been more important to a woman than the modern day.  Granted, it has been there for numerous generations from our past, but social media sites have simply compounded this beast to another league.  Because what was once more subjective can now be objectified and quantified.  If a woman has a picture taken with someone so well known, and likewise she receives more “likes” and comments than her female rivals, she can convince herself that the life she lives is that much better than anyone else.  And when all is said and done, this is a woman’s primary mission – to believe she is living the best life possible and one of more importance and drama than others.

Q-tip 1:
Look at many of the young women in the crowd, and you will notice how they are naturally looking up in the direction of the DJ.  Then notice how they are in fact as, if not more, interested in the big screen above.  A primary thought is for them to be spotted on the screen, and a secondary motivation is the DJ himself.

For a moment, imagine Martin Garrix has finished his set and passed the “ones and twos” onto a female DJ.  This is what you could expect from the same audience:
  • The majority of female spectatorship (especially those at the front) will now be even more transfixed onto the big screen.  Very little admiration will be projected onto the female DJ, although a degree of fake “go girl” chants could be the occasional hearing. 
  • A small minority of women in the crowd will be more genuinely supportive towards the DJ.  This is typical of women who are less self-obsessed and in need of female role models to give them inspiration in life.
  • If the female DJ is incredibly hot, watch for the irritable expressions on the faces of >90% of women in the crowd.
  • If the female DJ is hot, the men in the crowd will stay in hope of as many big screen shots of her as possible.  They will only be interested in her beauty, and not her talent, status or wealth.
  • If the female DJ is nothing more than average looking, the male audience will have no interest in her as an act, and they will stay only in anticipation of openings with girls in their vicinity.

Q-tip 2:
Men are sexually aroused and attracted to the hottest women.  Only when physical beauty is of parity do other female desirables have much bearing.  Women are most sexually aroused by the hottest men, but they are more attracted to men who can place many other things on the table.  The most beneficial items men can place on the table to attract women are status (mainly social, but occupational too), wealth, confidence and attitude (in that order of importance).

Caveat 1 to the above:
The beneficial items in order of importance stated are applicable to attract a woman, but not necessarily to lock down a woman.
Caveat 2 to the above:
The beneficial items in order of importance stated are applicable to women above the age of 23.  For women under this age, place wealth to the back of the list, and the status (still most important) is heavily weighted towards social profile as opposed to occupational position.

As I couldn’t have written this post without April’s spring day that happened in The Netherlands, I think it is only moral of me to give my two pennies of thought from what I have experienced with their good natives.  Within the UK, and possibly beyond too, Dutch people are somewhat stereotyped for being opinionated, arrogant, over-confident, moody, outspoken and up their own backsides.  A former work colleague of mine said they should be given the benefit of the doubt, adding that their liberal lifestyle makes them designed to be this way.  There is also a consensus that Dutch people speak better English than the English themselves.

From my interaction with those who dress in orange, whether that has been within their own border parameters or in Spanish surroundings (similar to Brits, their rubbish Northern European weather leads them to far warmer climes on any given opportunity), I have always found their genuine nature as a breath of fresh air.  As a person who prides himself on honesty, absent of egoism and agendas, I would take this kind of character any day of the week over someone who wouldn’t say boo to a goose or is forever frightened of consequences.  I mean, Louis Van Gaal has barely ever smiled during the few months he has been at Manchester United, but his dry sense of humour, honest words and lack of trepidation to upset people makes me piss myself.  Bring us more people like him…

But more relevant to me is the good ladies of Holland.  With fewer inhabitants and colder weather, they are essentially not as striking in number or glamour as Spanish or Italian women, or even as impressive in percentage terms as Portuguese or Greek women, but there is still one almighty decent benchmark if you take the time to study them.  Even on the video link, there were more than enough cute birds and some hot ones to keep me entertained.  When I consider The Netherlands is only a quarter of the population that sits in the UK, why is it that a smaller country like this can churn out so many more eye catching women?  If you have any answers, please forward them over to my British female compatriots.


Happy New Year to you all, and here’s to a fortuitous, prosperous, but ultimately healthy 2015.



Saturday 27 December 2014

Losing female infatuation

“The greatest men are those who have the natural process to simply view 
a person as another person.  Whether it be the chief executive or office cleaner, 
a friend or foe, a beautiful woman versus her grotesque female counterpart; 
his distributed respect is only given once earned.”

If I was to defend my fellow men in one small way, at least when they are at a stage in their life when they are yet to venture into the world of what is known as interaction strategy and female emotional psychology, it would have to be the infatuation they hold with the beauty of what many women can display.  Usually this is physical, as this is a woman’s major playing card, but sometimes it can be the spell of those puppy dog eyes and engaging personality.  Of course the former is far more common than the latter when it comes to the way women can bring about unconscious male behaviour.

How do women do this to men? 
  • First, this is because a good deal of men interact, and are in relationships with, women who are more visually attractive in relative terms.  This can range from marginal to significant amounts in physical grades, and naturally the greater the margin the more a man will shift to the more supplicated end of infatuation. 
  • Second, men are sexual predators.  Someone only needs to see how many men can manage to get it on sexually with the most grotesque types of women to know how they must have urges that simply need relinquishing.  So if they can find it in them to attain erections with those women, you can imagine how smitten they must be once upgrading. 
  • Third, and this is more applicable to men post 25, they can see a life fearful in being alone.  This is not a concern that rivals a woman’s trepidation of this subject on like for like basis, but it is a big thought process they go through.  As their friends start to settle down like dominoes knocking down the next one, nights out become less and less.  As nights out become fewer, options are far more sparse, even to very good looking men or men of high status.  If you don’t mingle, you remain single.  So when an opportunity does arise, bang goes any calm, and with it is a production of viewing a woman on a level above her physical attractiveness objectivity.

All this falls against the way a woman desires a man to act.  It is often said on this blog, and I am never tired of reiteration because it all the more by men and women alike seems to be ignored: women’s ego feeds off habits as explained above, but their intimate predilections are diminished this way.

As I write this post I am sat in a prestige sports car manufacturer’s showroom.  Let me tell you that there are some mighty impressive cars, surpassed only (almost!) by the impressive presence of 3 of the young women in the service/administration departments.  It would be easy for me to start staring in admiration every time one of them walked past, and part of me wants to.  Very few days will pass when I sit in a room with 1 cute woman and 2 hot women no more than 10 yards away from me.  But I have learnt this is the last way any man should behave if he harbours ambitions to be successful over time.  I have no doubts that an adequate opportunity will not develop where I can escalate anything on this given day.  One of them knows about my girlfriend, and although this pre-selection validation helps a man far more then it hinders him, on this occasion it would likely deter any future success if it came my way.  It’s all about weighing up the situation to benefit you.

Naturally, this high status kind of environment attracts high status and wealthy potential male customers.  For the sake of argument, I’ll class the salesmen in this category too.  Every single one of them is clueless in how to act with them.  Maybe they aren’t interested in any of the girls, and they are in fact just being friendly and amicable guys.  If this is the case, applauds go out to each and every one.  But something tells me that if they were sent a message that offered them a chance with these women, they wouldn’t hesitate for a single second.  Nodding heads, supplication, over complimenting, eyes too glued onto the women when they talk, agreeing with everything they say, no stimulating conversation (I admit this can be hard for colleagues), and no hint of apathy or doing their own thing is all to be seen here.  Not for a minute would I say they should be complete assholes, but one thing I could say is being a complete asshole will get them further than their current processes.  It hurts me, because away from the arrogance and desperation to portray a level of importance and power, they are probably genuinely nice guys.  Contrary to the reputation some might attain because of their supposed powerful positions, most high status men are just like the representation of over 80% of guys when in the company of women – beta males acting how perennial nice guys act.

This is why I’m not a huge advocate of high status male websites and magazines with regards to the productiveness of male advice in view of attracting female attention.  I won’t name names, but “high status” male offerings may give you an idea towards my critique.  I can’t lay claim to be a consistent reader of either source I’m referring to, therefore if I am wrong or inaccurate to my claims then I’ll happily hold my hands up.  But from what I have read, they do appear to succeed and fail almost in simultaneous fashion. 

The positive part is that they do offer beneficial advice in how to become the most attractive male in terms of fashion, healthy lifestyle, appealing fragrances and workout routines.  They also do touch on fundamental aspects like acquiring the appropriate attitude and confidence, in addition to how to portray body language that will project appeal onto women.  However, in my opinion too much of the advice is focused on trying too hard to please women.  They won’t say this in words, but to me it comes across as the way a man should do this and do that in order for her to like him. 

It sends a message of seeking out for her approval.  As 99% of men don’t replicate the visions of highly aesthetic men as seen on the web links or magazines (not that good looks is a barometer for how men act), and likewise they do not possess the immediate high status and fame that male celebrities can exploit, you can only imagine that the gut instinct for a relatively naïve man is to believe he must try harder.  When a man has a mindset to try harder, it rarely has a happy ending in securing the woman he most desires. 

As touched on above, good looks and high physical attractiveness for men only play a small part in ultimate attraction.  It helps to get women’s attention, but so many other factors are in place that can give lesser looking men a slice of the pie.  However, if I was to say one thing that does help in being part of the top end of male physical attractiveness – the combination of facial good looks, impressive body profile and height – it is the way that through an unexplainable mentality, or past experience of intimate dealings with many cute and hot women, you are never that infatuated when the next one comes along. 

Should you admire women?  When deserving, yes.  Should you have uncontrollable sexual urges when one so stunning is in your peripheral vision?  In a discrete fashion, oh yes.  But infatuation, no.  This may upset a woman’s ego, but forget about that.  Men of all kinds should think about taking a step back on one of these opportune moments.  It’s amazing how the path to most reward comes from less, rather than more, effort.

Wednesday 24 December 2014

When is the female ego at its most severe?

“Blind faith may keep certain people alive, but it sure is a lousy way to live life.”

Regular readers of this blog will be aware how much I am adversarial towards the female ego and the destruction it can cause.  Naïve men, as most men are, suffer the most because their default mechanism enforces belief that they must keep trying harder to please a woman in conjunction to the more she demands and promotes her world.  The typical man will just keep throwing more coins into the wishing well in hope she appreciates what he does each time.  Women are also big losers in falling flat on their face due to their own ego, as what they say is most admirable to their requests is in fact contradicting how it impacts on their ultimate happiness. 

Oxford Dictionary definition of ego:
the self, the part of the mind that is aware of itself as an individual.

With most women, their instinctive thought process goes via their ego chain of process.  When they refer to desires in belonging to a man who is nice, kind and giving to them all the time, this is the primary words that are formed from the ego.  It makes a woman feel good about herself, but it goes against a woman’s innate function to be challenged and seek things in life that do not come along without a fight.  So a woman will often date a nice guy because of her immediate voice within telling the brain this is what will make her feel special, but over time this habit causes resentment as the man makes it all too easy for her.  More often than not, with women who still have options on their side, they will depart from the guy who placed it on a plate.

Similarly, women will state the opposite about men who are apathetic towards their existence.  They will claim they despise the way this small segment of the male population (although many women will be adamant it is the majority of male society) act more selfish, less giving and with an attitude that interprets to her that she is only one female in a planet of millions others worth taking.  A woman’s sour facial expression towards a man of this nature would allow a clueless person to think she would never give him the time of day.  However, once the dust has settled and the antagonism has diffused, you will notice how many women are uncontrollably drawn to men who couldn’t give a toss to the crown she so usually has polished. 

But with some women, and especially those who are rarely accustomed to apathy and always familiar with supplication – hence very cute or hot women – the female ego will even stand in the way of going with their sexual feelings in order to protect the pride.  So whilst she may be grueling at the thought of getting it in with something that isn’t in the palm of her hands, a woman can vainly convince her mind that this man is not worth her special value to planet earth.  With this in mind, she will choose an unchallenging nice guy, only to end up unhappy.  In a fairytale story where she was informed as a little girl to run with her heart, she didn’t bargain for a defensive shield to stand in the way.  The acting barrier is better known as her ego.

Less observant folk may think, with a level of reasoning, that a woman’s relative physical attractiveness is aligned with the magnitude of her ego.  There is more to this than meets the eye, because although you would expect it to be the case, external aspects of life implicate on the way female egoism leverages and fades.

Female age 16 to 18

A young girl approaching adult life but with no responsibilities is beginning to produce something a little more projected onto her worthiness.  As she starts to see the mirror reflection transform from a spotty teenager to an alluring fresh woman, it can bring about thoughts to make her believe she is becoming special.  Boys should now give more, she thinks. 

Nevertheless, although girls at this tender age are just as efficient at mind games and manipulations with the male gender as their elder female counterparts, the lack of life experience somewhat restricts the bar to how far the ego can stretch.  So whilst girls at this stage in their life may be running self-consciousness and cunning games in simultaneous timeframes, their actual ego is still a long way from reaching its height.

Ego scale:       7/10

Female age 19 to 23

Although a healthy lifestyle and absence of kids should result in women’s beauty going beyond 23, the reality is a high percentage of them do in fact peak during this phase.  It may be a case of unfortunate genetics or a couple too many beers and burgers during their college party days, but many will look back in their rocking chairs to realize the most embraced photographs belong to an age that sits from 19 to 23.

In terms of their escalated ego in this period, it will be increasing but not yet optimized.  This is where the threshold is of pinnacle ego is still below the optimum physical attractiveness they possess.  The reason is that they are still prioritizing good time hunting over self-importance needs, and they are far more susceptible to poor choices with men treating them badly than safe bets to maintain damaged pride.  Women at this young age can come across as the least friendly and engaging they will ever be, but this isn’t to be mistaken with possessing the strongest ego.

Ego scale:       8/10

Female age 24 to 28

The mirror, depending whether they are on the low or high side of this duration, is showing the best it ever has or signs of an imperceptible decline.  In truth, women who look after their lifestyle should be most glamorous in this timeframe, but many miss the boat.  If they are still sailing, they have the luxury of youthful image combined with mature physical development.  That said, once 25 is passed their metabolisms will slow down, and treadmills are a greater necessity concurrent to cream cakes being less forgiving.

The ego of a woman is now becoming a monster.  Not only is she looking good, but a woman at this age will be surrounded by male dominated workplaces with desperate men striving to get into her pants.  This only compounds her belief that the world is hers for the taking.  Further to this, odd doubts of her fragmenting beauty enforce a nasty habit to go fishing for compliments and seeking attention that little bit more than her younger self.  So even at 28, where the best physical attractiveness days are quite possibly behind her, the ego will be at the top of the mountain.

Ego scale:       10/10

Female age 29 to 35

Apart from absolute isolated exceptions, women have are now past their sell by date for a portrait that shows the most splendor.  Sure, at the younger extreme of this period they can still look mighty fine, but even then it would be unusual to be more striking to the eye than a few years ago.

With natural beauty diminishment runs simultaneous reduced egos.  Nevertheless, it can still be higher than the objectivity should allow.  Those who were on the fortunate side of hotness will, if clever, now be tied down with good earning men who spend plenty of money to keep them “happy”.  All this manifests to a female product that, whilst comprehensive of her embraced photos belonging to the archives, holds inclinations to show her peers the affluent house she resides in and the latest pair of shoes the sucker husband has purchased for her.

Ego scale:       8.5/10

Female age 36 to 40

Even if a woman in her late 20s or 30s chose to live in denial of her lack of beauty in comparison to younger days, once she reaches 36 it will be pretty hard to even reassure her own vain hope that she is still wanted as much as ever.  The lack of attention cannot be hidden from.

The ego will again run down the stream at the same pace.  There is no longer the demands once placed, and admission to other tactics is required if she still harbours ambitions for the flame to keep burning.  Expect women now to become much friendlier and receptive to male advances.  These male advances will be of lower quality than before.

Ego scale:       6/10

Female age 40+

Not to put too fine a point on it, unless she has a footballer’s wife lifestyle to exploit, this isn’t even worth consideration.  Having said this, there are still odd women who simply cannot let go of their past.

Ego scale:       5/10

Make no mistake about it, the female ego truly is a beast that needs taming sooner, rather than later.  Men should take note of the differing ego scales as time moves on, and realize that they do not need to exert unnecessary financial expenditure, emotional investment and time when she is at her most valuable.  Her stipulations, in view of mother time, cannot be taken seriously. 

Saturday 20 December 2014

Will the last male lapdog standing please sit down

“Tell them what you're going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them.”

A male lapdog, to those unfamiliar with the meaning when it arrives to male interaction, opinion and action when around women, is basically a man who acts, thinks and speaks as close to a woman could possibly do so without being a woman in actuality.  Some extreme male lapdogs will in fact be worse than a minority of women, because contrary to assumption, some women do tell the truth when it boils down female emotional deliverables.  These women are just very rare.

A male lapdog is the typical man who clouds himself from all reality when consideration is made to the way women work in the emotional psychology field.  Many lapdogs are creeps and puppets, because they are so passive that they let their more dominating female partners drag the collar and pull all the strings.  However, I know many creeps and puppets who are not necessarily oblivious lapdogs, because whilst they are born with or brought up by a mentality that allows them to be taken for granted, they do deep down acknowledge the way women can be.  No, male lapdogs are the dregs of male production that only achieve in making the sexual marketplace a miserable place for both genders.

The typical male lapdog is the creepy nice guy that criticizes the man who is dating the woman he wants to be with.  He fails to realize her manipulating ways to always say the things that get her what she wants.  It would be easy to assume many gay men are lapdogs, but this is not the case in general terms.  If you observe many gay men, and feminine straight men too, it is noticeable how they are not frightened to stand up to women with big egos and foolish comments.  This is due to a gay man not needing a woman’s approval, in falsely thinking this approach will reap him rewards in her sexual offerings. 

Lapdogs are often gutless people – they stick up for women in hope for approval and to be liked more, but they have no courage to say what they want.  Readers, and people who know me personally, can think what they like about perceived selfish folk such as me, but at least I’m not anxious in being worried to what women think or living in trepidation of disjointing their egos.  I’ve learnt through innumerable experiences that an honest man, who perhaps says the things women don’t want to hear but are from honest fundamentals, is respected and admired by women for carrying out this demeanour rather than being repelled by it.  At least this is the way women worth having appeared to see it.  If I want something out of a woman then I’ll go for it.  If she wants me, great, but if not, I’ll walk away without a tear in my eye.  It’s no skin off my nose either way.

Male lapdogs offer no benefit to the sexual market.  They may think that by defending women at any given opportunity creates a harmonious environment where the female gender do not feel threatened or intimidated – as they always have a “man sucking up” by their side – but all they achieve in doing is allowing women to believe that wrong moves can be taken as an oversight or a consequence of misfortune.  Why would a woman ever ask questions of herself if there’s always someone there to wipe the tears and say it wasn’t her fault? 

But worse still is the way lapdogs are fully dressed in supplication, sycophancy and attention distribution to inflate women’s egos.  Do they not realize that the more these acts are delivered, the more women will believe men should work harder to please them?  Are they incomprehensive to the reality that women are happier when they are pursuing a man’s interest, and not the inverse?  Do they not understand they are shooting themselves in the foot, as for every lapdog out there makes it harder for his fellow male lapdog ally to impress another woman?  Even if he does by luck secure her, she will only trample all over him because of the unsubstantiated importance she has been allowed to believe her value falsely is.  Poof, there’s your broken heart, Senor Lapdog!

But here’s the good news.  Lapdogs are not a majority case, as they make up 3% of men as a maximum in this respect.  The majority sits with my good friends who are probably locked in unhappy marriages or relationships, yet they still bizarrely find themselves exerting the extra yard to please their female partner.  Men of this nature will make up >80% of men out there.  As every day passes by, I can’t help but think I’m being conservative with this estimate.  They understand the way women work, they to a point accept it in quiet moments, but they just can’t quite bring their lips to say the words in pragmatism. 

A first class example of the “majority man” would be when a guy like me gives some red pill (but not so brain-smashing) information about reasons women go for jerks and treat nice guys like crap.  These men hearing words of this literature may well admit it is sometimes the case, but they hide behind misconceptions that it’s only insecure women who carry this out or the reason is down to their previous misfortune.  Don’t they realize there are half a dozen nice guys for every jerk, so how can it always be bad luck?  Only women with “daddy issues”?  Mmm, take a look at some higher flying and confident women, too.

And if you throw the possibility at these men that most women date down in the physical looks department because of their need to feel worthy alongside a man with comparative lesser looks, perish the thought!  Do I not know that this curious but pronounced circumstance is because women value male personality above all other desirability metrics?  Money, status – course it’s not, unless it’s a celebrity fame case.  She’s far too sweet and innocent for this, so says he.  Men like this are not extreme lapdogs, because they don’t throw out stupid fallacy explanations.  Their big mistake is trying to convince their minds of better things.

So I’ll stick to my 1% (it is in fact less than this percentage) group of male cynics.  I’ve never been forthcoming in desires to be part of the extreme and aggressive manosphere spectrum, but I equally have always stood by the opinion that men who write this content are, in the main, saying how it works in the real world.  These guys will always have more of my time than those who want to live in a fairytale world.

As for the male lapdogs, will you please sit down.  You really are doing nobody, including your good lady friends, any favours at all.

Wednesday 17 December 2014

Women with a face of regret

“Hawks go to heaven, doves dice in death.”

This post may come across to many readers as a case of retrospective gloating on my part.  If I’m honest, it once was.  But time and life cycles or situations mellow people, and it brings a person like me to look at things from a different angle.  At the end of the post you can make your mind up to your perceived view and opinion of my emotions and motivations behind the anecdotes.  All I can say right now is that many more people will read this and be able to relate to it, first or second hand, and understand the considerations both women and men have when landing in the middle of dynamics of this kind.

I make no excuse that I once didn’t understand the way women work in terms of their choices and reasoning when interfaced with men seeking their attention, and perhaps, their love.  This was many years ago in true time, but when I sometimes recollect during sunny afternoons or frosty morning strolls, it almost seems like yesterday too.  The long and the short of it is I belonged to the blue pill syndrome – believing women needed a man who was always the kindest, sweetest, considerate and caring human being they could possibly find, and in turn always being there for them in making them the highest priority in your life.  Many women will still tell men this is the case.  Some will concede there is a balance to be struck but they desire him to fall far nearer the nice guy extreme than the bad boy polar opposite.  And an extremely small percentage will fully confess to being attracted to the traits that jerks possess, and that this is the truth behind falling for them.  Needless to say, but vital for clarity, the quality of a jerk’s desirability metrics – hence looks, personality, charisma, money and status to name but five – will determine the numbers of pursuits he attains.

For what it’s worth, my take on the whole female mindset of “nice guys versus bad boys” is this: Nearly all women are drawn to jerk characteristics – because this guy’s apathetic and care-free life aligns with the fundamental make-up of the female mind desiring something that doesn’t arrive easily - but only a select few are consciously proactive in hunting them down.  The greatest numbers of women are attracted to them, but they will only chase once a vicinity or circumstance has been granted, and in the meantime they will continue with the self-belief of thinking a prince charming is her dream man.  This leaves the remainder of women who are also attracted to the bad boy type, but because they have larger than average egos, high opinions of themselves and fragile pride, they, under most occasions, repel from going for these men due to the loathe of thought in being treated undeservingly.  A few homely girls will always only be found with your typical passive and predictable beta males, but don’t think this stops them from the odd day dream of being seduced and dominated by the fantasy tattooed enigma.

The above explanation is most prevalent in women under the age of 25.  This factor is a combination of women below this age holding the most options they will ever have with men due to their peak physical beauty, but also down to not being so prone to settle down with a more responsible provider at this stage of life.  They can afford to take more risks.  This isn’t to say their sexual inclinations ever change to a wholesale degree, but their ultimate decisions do.  Beyond the age of 25 will bring about a stronger search for wealthier, higher status and personable men who they can see a future with past tomorrow.  It won’t be as exciting for them, but I guess all good things come to an end.

So irrespective of a woman’s physical attractiveness rating in comparison to her female peers, her largest quantity of male followers will be pre 25 years of age.  Exceptions exist, but they don’t make the general rule.  The high end of beautiful looking women can accept and decline men at will, and men are often left scratching their heads at the time.  It can all be interchangeable.  A very good looking man could lose out to an average looking, high social status jerk.  A good looking man could lose out to an average looking or above average looking man with similar desirability measurements.  An average looking man could lose out to an ugly wealthier man.  A popular jerk could lose out to a higher occupational status man.  A high profile positioned affluent man may one day find his better looking fiancé in bed with an aesthetically pleasing (but economically poor) man.  Women have choices to make, but as I will point out in real terms, they only have a certain amount of time to make it.

I would think almost every man can relate to being on the wrong side of a woman’s choice.  Some men have a favourable ratio, but more of them will possess a negative score.  In its moment, it can seem devastating.  You may, if weak natured, think this woman was way above your league and you were a fool for ever thinking she could find you appealing.  However, sometimes a man may see the woman who rejected him with a male partner that, in objective terms, does not quite seem the ideal match for her.  The wisest men ascertain clues from a woman’s past, present or personality, and they are almost knowledgeable prior to interaction that her decision is not actually a choice.  And most often, the rejected man can see the same woman years down the line, but the tables of sexual emotions have been turned on its head.

I’ve lost count over how many times I’ve been through this cycle of being turned down by a woman, or for her to break off the relationship, yet years later to come rushing up in hope I remembered our treasured history.  Some have even arrived embarrassed that their former self was someone I had time for in relation to her current self.  Their proposals of possible renaissances were politely declined.  By no coincidence, it has usually been the scenario of me being on the wrong side of things prior to their 25th birthday, and the recipient of their advances after this date.  There have been two examples when this age can be forwarded on a couple of years, but once 30 strikes the tables really do turn.  Women lose options, and sometimes hope, if they haven’t tracked down a quality man by this age.

In a way, I feel for women who do have that look of regret on their face, because most often these are women who I admire for not desperately falling for a man at the drop of a hat.  They are, in the main, “girls girls” (women who are, or at least say they are, more inclined towards strong female friendships than the need for constant boyfriends) who do have a level of independence in comparison to the lion’s share out there.  Unlike their insecure female competitors who need the validation of self-importance by proof of a boyfriend, these women are biding their time for the most suitable and high quality male mate.  They think time will last forever in finding him, but unfortunately time is unforgiving for women in a way that most men do not need to comprehend.  This is only true because as the years pass by men can, and should, become more valuable as a marketable commodity to the opposite sex than the gender inverse.  Men do not rely on physical attractiveness anywhere near to the level that women need to in the sexual field.  We can deny this until the cows come home, but it is the reality.  Sure, women can make up a little of this with engaging personality, empathy and laid-back attitude, but it will only take them so far.

Some women, with a small ounce of justification, can be brain-washed by media coverage or real life good luck stories of older women dating younger men.  Phrases of “forty is the new thirty” or “young men love experienced women” can be fired out as much as any wishful thinker needs, but you only need to analyze the dynamics to how each gender views attraction.  I actually have a close friend who is in a relationship with a woman 15 years his senior, and I am skeptical to it working long-term.  A man’s brain functions in a way of seeking youth and physical beauty in a woman.  A woman’s (especially an older woman) likewise process holds predilections for power, status and provider – traits usually accustomed with an older man.  But when all is said and done, there are barely any women who will be more desirable at 33 than 23.  Flip the coin, and men should reverse the playing role in being higher value at the older age.

Further to the whole reassuring older woman’s need for a younger man’s love, you have to question the younger men themselves who select, or end up with, significantly older women.  The big money is on one of three, but sometimes all, factors:
  • He is low calibre in abundant sexual market value metrics, and quality younger women are beyond his grasp.
  • He has no true knowledge and understanding in how to handle women.  This subconsciously enforces him towards lower maintenance women.
  • He is objectively a good catch, but his low confidence levels do not allow him to see this potential through.

So how does all this effect women and men?  Well, as this post was designed more for the ladies, I’ll take their perspective first:

Women need to know that their best years are pre 25 years of age.  They can hide from the truth, but I only talk from honest words that I, in an unbiased fashion, have counted the number of women (outside of celebrity world) who look better at 30 than 25 on two hands in my lifetime.  Some can hold this decline until their late 20s, but 30 onwards will show a more rapid deterioration.  This all means that after the bad boy phase has passed (and I advise women to eradicate it from their system as early as possible), they think carefully about the men they are rejecting.  Second chances, as I am testament to on personal experience, do not come around very often for a woman in the face of a decent guy.  This isn’t to say they should make safe choices in the knowledge of not being fully into a man on a visceral level, but they should assess the present with the inevitable future.  This is on the basis that a relationship is high priority to a woman.  They have to concede that, with the absence of marriage, every year that passes by after 25 leaves them in a less powerful position to locate quality men, and be appreciated within a relationship itself.  This is unless a 25 year old woman is with a man post 40 years of age, in which he is not as likely to seek pastures new in respect to a man of younger years.

Men need to take all this in their stride without being too smug about it all.  If they get rejected, time is far more on their side.  It is important not to be bitter about women maximizing a small window of opportunity.  If anything, it should make approaching and interacting with women all the more easy and comfortable, because I believe the majority of men have problems with women when they see them in their full physical glory on nights out.  Comprehension of women’s hard time in life past 25, in addition to a mentality that should allow him to think he is a valuable asset and she should seek his approval, is actually what women deep down want anyway.  Men fail in reaching this stage due to their lack of positive attitude in the first place.  Women want a man to show how privileged they should be to be with him.  Egos aside, women do not desire to be treated like a princess because this only goes to prove how appreciative he is to be with her.  They want to feel valued, but they need to know they value him more.  Remember, this is why they fall for jerks in their younger years.  Their mind only alters in negligible emotional terms.  Their pragmatism takes the greater turn of events.   

One of the women I make reference to has strong preferences towards Afro-Caribbean ethnic men, as do her two older sisters.  When I saw all three of them out not long ago, in recollection to six or seven years previous, it was painful to see the difference in the men they interacted with.  They used deal with an equivalent Will Smith in his prime.  Now they were talking to a Barack Obama lookalike.

Saturday 13 December 2014

Did they last?

“Today’s hero is tomorrow’s forgotten man.”

I heard some comment on a radio show the other day about how people contemplating breaking up with their partners should have done it in November, as it would be too cruel to do so in December.  As Christmas approaches, surely nobody could have the heart to leave their “loved one” alone during the festive celebrations, so they said... 

Bearing in mind that most relationship break-ups are instigated by the female member, I wouldn’t be too concerned for my fellow men just yet.  The vast majority of women will put aside their indifference, or even distastes, in favour of what comes out of the wrapping paper.  The more likely departure on her part will arrive in the New Year.

In my opinion, one of the most entertaining and informative posts published on this blog is linked here.  It allowed readers to analyze how poorly men carry out their deliverables with respective girlfriends.  Regular readers will be familiar with it, but for what is to be revealed, you will at least need to refresh the mind with regards to the parties involved.

Did they last, or was it a simple case of inevitability that derives from weaving of magic belonging to the sexual market?

Couple 1

Out of the three examples, I would have placed the most money on this relationship still being in tack.  However, I knew something smelt fishy around September time when she changed her profile picture on Facebook to a portrait that no longer had his cheesy grin alongside her.  This is usually the first tell-tale sign that naïve men (therefore most men) are not sharp enough to grasp.

About a month later I bumped into her.  She came across as that little bit more flirty than usual, and it didn’t take long to give a long winded explanation that would lead an innocent listener to believe she had called it off due to his immaturity.  She added how an older guy is more of her compatibility match, and that the ex-boyfriend keeps badgering her with reconciliation proposals – to which she has politely declined.  She still says how highly she thinks of him as a friend and wishes him well.  Does this sound familiar to anyone?  For the record, I haven’t heard his side of the story.

By the logical law of averages, she will be telling the truth in so far that it was her who called it a day.  A 21 year old woman is at her pinnacle of options in the sexual field, and even though he is as physically attractive as her in gender relativity, young men of similar age - nice guys by character as >80% are -  tend to be clingy, jealous and possessive.  A man in this situation wouldn’t comprehend his impending higher value in the sexual market compared to his cute, but not stunning, girlfriend.  All this manifests to bring about a man who tries too hard.  This way of acting is forgiving for a period of time, but dwindling appreciation and increasing frustration are the end product on the female psychological side of things.

Couple 2

This was the couple I most expected to end, and likewise at the earliest stage of the calendar year.  I was right on both counts.

It turns out that after less than a couple of months from dating, he finds out she has a certain liking for a drink.  Let’s just say that it goes beyond the partiality towards a social swig or two of lemonade.  At this stage, any man with half an ounce of sense in female psychology would have got the hell out before any further damage was done.  If a woman has a problem in the first place, the cracks can only be papered over for so long before it all comes back to haunt a clueless male sucker once more.  The only time I may suggest keeping it going would be if she was of absolute top end hotness, and even then it would be wearing the safest condom ever and for no more than a few sloppy extra sexual relinquishments.  The woman here doesn’t even come close to utilizing this mitigation.

But men in love carry on in vain hope that things will change, or she will change.  Fat chance!  Almost every adventure – vacations, day excursions, cinemas, concerts, shows, meals – were paid from the notes in his wallet.  When he said enough was enough in June, she begged for another chance and that she would show how much she loved him.  That extra chance he gave came in the gratitude form of her standing him up on the day of an expensive date, and to only days later find out she was cheating on him in sleeping with another man.

This “other man” is a carbon copy in physical appearance to the guy I know.  No hair on top, average but older looking, and a not dissimilar build.  If the truth be objectively told, the new guy is a slight downgrade on face value alone.  No sooner had she been removed of “In a Relationship” than she had placed the new man in this same social network relationship status label.  What on earth does this tell you about it all?  The need to feel wanted, the fear of being lonely, and boyfriend validation requirement comes to mind.

Couple 3

Had you asked me 10 months ago, I’d have predicted that this woman would have been gone with the wind by the end of the year, with him still picking up the pieces of his broken heart and licking the wounds of his weary soul.  They are in fact still together, so from this perspective only, I was wrong.  Nevertheless, there is more to it than meets the eye of a couple who are so happily in love for another Christmas.

Once Valentine’s Day passed, I thought this would have left her a clear path to go her separate ways and onto someone more to her sexual hunger needs.  But a girl in the final study year at University can somewhat, with justification, convince her mind that a steady, predictable, option-stricken, unchallenging but loyal boyfriend will maintain this smooth road ahead until she can fly with her own two wings.  Add on the usual debt a student will have incurred once the graduation certificate has been achieved, and you can give further ammunition towards reasoning behind holding the hand of a giving man.

In the interim period between February and the summer, he booked a couple holidays for the two of them to adventure on.  Without proof, I would hedge a fair bet that almost every penny was on his behalf.  Sure, a woman who is grossly unhappy will still jettison from a man she doesn’t want to be with, but a man’s kindness and niceness, combined with a free few weeks in foreign sunshine that she couldn’t afford on her own behalf, will keep the run down engine ticking over that little bit longer.  By the time the second trip is over we are into September, and thoughts of Christmas aren’t too far away if there isn’t a guaranteed replacement of greater lure.

But the evidence is not good on his part on these counts:
  • She has removed her “In a Relationship” status.
  • He has kept his equivalent relationship status on - with her name attached.
  • Although she has the two of them as her profile picture, her timeline image (the far bigger emblem) shows her baby niece/nephew only.
  • He has pictures of them as a couple on both his profile and timeline.
  • Almost all pictures of the two of them show him with a far wider smile than her.  He appears to be the much happier out the two.
  • The “my perfect boyfriend” and “I’m so lucky to have him” kind of comments, so accustomed to the early stages of the relationship, are nowhere to be seen on her pages any more.

As documented in the past, sometimes a man does need to be careful when a woman is over-promoting how happy she is in having such a great guy.  This will usually be the case as something for the cameras, and in fact her happiness levels are not close to the verbal language or written text.  However, equally as concerning is when a woman has started off with complimentary statements, but over time they have fragmented into near on nothing.  When this is the situation, it is almost always the predicament of a woman who no longer appreciates her beta nice guy boyfriend like she once did.  This will be despite him executing every bit as much, if not more, as he always did.

So what can we take out of all this?  Interpretations will always be there, but if you can view the forest through objectivity and honesty, absent of ego and agendas, trends will be drawn across the vast majority of modern day heterosexual bonds:
  • Men try too hard, only to make their respective female partners less stimulated.
  • Men, especially at an age where the woman is no older than 25, act like their girlfriends are the only woman existing on the planet. 
  • Women have far more power in relationships with most men when they (women) are aged up to 25, than post 25.
  • Older men, in particular men who lack experience with an array of female intimacies, are just as susceptible to make the same mistakes with women as their younger selves.
  • Men of all ages can make the same errors of judgment with older women as they will do with younger women.  This is in spite of the undeniable fact that older women have less options in the sexual market.
  • Men will give too much, too soon.  This is a catastrophic error in leaving him with no place to go from there on in.
  • Men wrongly believe that they need to put in much more to the relationship – in financial, emotional, energy and time aspects – than the woman they are with is inclined to do so.  There is a firm disconnect between the theory and reality of the male thought process that is: “the more I give her, the more I will get back in return.”
  • Women, by possible uncontrollable but probable conscious process in being of female nature – hence a mentality of self-entitlement – have appreciation thresholds that disintegrate over time. 
  • When a man senses his loved one slipping away, whether with conscious knowledge or ignorant denial, he will try even harder to please her in a misconception that it will make up for her indifference, distancing or even abhorred sight of his existence.  When her actions symbolize this attitude, a man is very unlikely to ever retrace her optimum level of love, and he would be well advised to de-leverage his exertions from the past in releasing from the gas pedal and being firmer on the break pad.

The choice going forwards is always that of the man, but often the decision is not one produced from logic.  As always, I put the question to you:  
Do you desire to do less but receive more, or are you happy clawing through the bushes only to never find the prize at the end?

Tuesday 9 December 2014

Women’s attempts to de-scale a man’s appeal

“Imagine the possibilities, by assessing the probabilities.”

The great part of life is that amongst all the trends and general observations, which all is there to see for people who do look beyond fantasy and into reality, exceptions will exist that either elate or frustrate depending metaphorically on the side of the road you drive.  Sometimes these exceptions are like a breath of fresh air, but often it can appear as if it comes in the form of a hidden agenda or an austerity measure of some kind.

I advocate on this blog that 80% to 90% of women aged over 23, if all other measurements are equal with men’s characteristics and desirables, would choose someone from the opposite sex who is 10% to 15% less physically attractive than they are.  There will still be more than half of women riding this same wave who are under 23.  However, this does leave a minority of women who just can’t resist the lure and sexual appeal of a man who catches the public eye and stands out.  I still don’t think there are many women who prioritize male looks above any other metric – like personality, charisma, wealth, status or whether he can fit a pipe in the toilet – but there are roughly 15% who will not disqualify an eye catching man’s advances until he digs his own grave with poor moves.  Basically, this minority of women will put their hearts and sexual predilections before their egos and insecurities. 

Naturally, I like women of this nature who lead with their hearts to seek rewards before protecting the risks.  This is because, more often than not, the perceived risks are exactly that – a perception.  I’ve dated my fair share of very cute and hot women, and some leave me with great memories whilst others perhaps backed up the consensus that the better looking the woman, the harder she is to handle.  But any negative recollection would never stop me from dating another in this compartment.  I’d always give her a clean slate to prove herself.  Women who follow the same path with men have my absolute respect.

Nevertheless, for women who are not “anti-looks” when it derives to men, it hasn’t gone unnoticed with me in terms of how they somewhat mitigate the uncomfortable feelings that still exist.  What I’m about to explain is not only applicable to good looking men.  The same predicament could be found for an above average looking man who finds himself with an insecure cute woman.  It is far less likely, but still conceivable.  Even if an average looking man finds himself with a woman objectively more physically attractive than him, female strategies to ease her nagging thoughts cannot be ruled out too.

The late 20s woman

A few years ago I dated a woman who was clearly someone who placed high priority on a man’s physical appearance.  I certainly don’t think it was priority number one (they never tell you the truth), but it was high up there.  She commented early on how she’d never seen abdominal muscles on any ex-boyfriends, and her text language to me would often reference the words “hot” and “gorgeous”.  I know these words can be used loosely by some women towards even uninspiring looking men, but I think on this occasion she was a selective user.  This woman was also hot herself, albeit low end hotness.  She was 28 years old and an 8/10 in looks.  In the early days, everything was fine, as the physical and mental compatibility weaved its natural magic. 

Over time, she changed in an imperceptible way.  If I’m honest, I probably wasn’t consciously aware of all this until we split up.  As she wasn’t the best in dietary terms, she took pleasure in me putting on a few pounds after months of joining her in late night cookies and morning muffin luxuries.  I didn’t have to eat them of course.  However, what was more alarming was her dislike for any time I had my hair cut.  At the time, I assumed it was a genuine preference for something to get her hands into, but I stand by the opinion it was due to a shorter style making me look younger.  She knew younger women than her found me attractive, and it left a bitter taste in her mouth.  I’ll never forget how many times she deleted photos of the two of us until it was clearly one where the lens made her look better.  When we both looked good, this was not enough to remove the irritable feeling inside her bitter veins. 

The 30s woman

Another anecdote involves a former work colleague from recent times.  A woman who was 7 years my senior took a liking for me as soon as she joined the company.  On the back of early conversations, we got on very well from a common ground perspective.  I knew she liked me physically, as it was mentioned from third parties in the office and her body language was too obvious.  She came across as quite confident, and I could tell that 10 years ago she would have been a head turner herself.  Unfortunately, similar to most women in their 30s, time had taken its toll.  She occasionally mentioned that it was a breath of fresh air for her to meet a good looking guy who had personality to match.

Nothing was ever going to happen with this woman on an intimate level.  She was married with a kid, and I had a girlfriend.  Further to this, I simply wasn’t turned on by her.  But her cryptic words made showed me she wouldn’t have said no if given the chance, and I think the sheer fiction and challenge kept her going.  But she couldn’t just accept me as who I was, even with the comprehension to what I had been through with my recent cancer illness.  When I told her that the reason I bought a sports car was due to a celebration of remission, her response was to say “well you’ve had it almost a year now so surely you should change!”  If I had a haircut over the weekend, irritable feelings were shown on her face come Monday morning.  When I mentioned nights out with my mates, she alluded to the fact that I should grow up.  The signs were all there to see.  She was trying to mould me into something she felt comfortable with if we were together.

Older women (or women similar to the relative man’s age but who look as old or older than him) who are attracted to certain good looking males despise the thought of these men looking younger than they already do.  If you see an older woman criticize a man’s swagger, hairstyle or choice of clothing, it will almost always be with some nagging feeling that it will attract younger female rivals.  Fundamentally, they see him as being that little bit more unattainable.

I document just two examples of women who want the largest slice of the cake.  I could reference more.  For women who do desire good looks in men in relativity to their own grade, and I admire them for belonging to this select group, they will likely still arrive with some form of plan.  It’s all about eradicating their own discomfort, even if this means de-leveraging the man’s overall value.  In these two particular cases, it is a classic example of attempts for fewer women to find a man attractive.

My advice to men is simple.  Never change in instances of this kind.  Not only, if you give in, are you preventing yourself from being happy by doing what you want, but she will lose a level of respect for you by being a lapdog who nods his head when she says.

For women, I offer these few words.  What’s the point of being with a man you found attractive for whom he was when you first met, only to then try and de-scale him in line with your own life?  If you think he won’t be able to leave you due to women no longer finding him physically attractive, he’ll sure find another way.  This may be through more power at work or joining a new sports club, but rest assured he’ll find a way if he so chooses.  The bigger problems sit at your own foundational doorstep of not being confident enough in the first place.

And as I’m in a “help the girl” mood today, I’ll even throw in some more reassurance to the female side.  Most men who date a less physically attractive woman, and I have plenty of friends who do so, quietly decide to take this option because they do not have the knowledge and confidence in how to deal with more stunning looking women.  They stick to the thought process stigma of hotter women being too high maintenance and energy sapping.  These men are with you because you offer them a comfortable and easy life, in theory and relativity, in comparison to your more sexually stimulating female counterparts.

There are some caveats that go against the process women use to downgrade a man’s value, and they in fact go the other way to instead leverage him:
  • First, a mark of status – in the structure of a car as alluded to above – will only be looked upon detrimentally when the woman isn’t the partner of the owner per se, or it is something that is seen to be aligned to attracting younger women than her.  She is adversarial in this regard due to her not benefitting in any way from the status.  Unlike a car, you wouldn’t find a woman speaking in the same negative language with regards to his nice bachelor house, as she would view this as a potential tangible or intangible future gain.  When you look through transparent goggles, the car and the house are effectively the same commodity ownership and asset.
  • Second, true to their egos, a woman trying to de-leverage a man almost only comes in the form of his physical attractiveness.  Hardly ever will a woman look for a man to reduce his status, wealth, personality or intelligence levels.  This is simply because all these metrics in positive form benefit her either directly or indirectly.     
  • Third, most women up to the age of 35 are with men who are less physically attractive than they are, and this is usually by a pronounced margin.  If a 7.5/10 looking woman was with a 6.5/10 looking man, this whole grade is fairly significant.  With this consideration, the woman is far more likely to dress him up in snazzy clothes and stylish hair, as this will still not get him close to her in overall public attention viewing.  The extra female followers he acquires from this style alone would be marginal and manageable from her perspective.  She would also be confident he still couldn’t do better than her. 

In an ideal world, a woman wants a man who is as physically and sexually arousing to her without it bordering over to the point where his relative physical grade is above hers or he attains an abundance of female admiration.  This is why a 10% to 15% lesser looking man, in conjunction with occasional (but not frequent) external female positive glances or comments, is the kind of man that a woman wants to be in a relationship with.  If you see this dynamic – a woman 10% to 15% more physically attractive than her male partner - regularly in your life, it isn’t by chance or accident.