“If it means being different but happy, it is better than being a clone with no identity.”
It has definitely dawned on me recently how different I have become to the vast majority of people in the British society. I doubt Britain is that much different to most other western countries with regards to the topic embedded in this post (and my observations when being abroad would back this up), therefore if this is the case then I must be different to most people generally.
I am not even necessarily complimenting myself in this respect too. Whilst I’m thoroughly happy with the person I have become, and I hold no interest in changing unless there was an absolute guarantee it would benefit and improve my life in a tangible way, in addition to making me genuinely happier, it has struck me how over recent years I have become unattached to the many thousands of people I see, or the hundreds of people I interact with, during an average year.
I list just some:
- · Most people are obsessed with social media platforms, and how they can exploit their existence to the rest of the world. I do anything I can for people not to know things about me.
- · Most people are infatuated with their phones, in constant head down and looking at it as much as they can in lieu of any human eye contact with people they do not know personally. I have my phone in my pocket as much as possible (and leave it in my bag during gym time or similar).
- · Most people idolize celebrity figureheads – even those famous for possessing no talent - in order to have a role model they can suck up to. I have no role models, and I certainly see nothing special in famous people.
- · On the next level down, most people will kiss ass people they know in their daily lives if there is something about that person that is well known, higher status, or admirable. I wouldn’t dream of doing this in a million years.
- · Most people – both women and men - seek the comfort of being in the company of others such is their safety in numbers mentality. Whilst I enjoy the company of others in limited doses, I prefer my own company.
- · Most people follow the path of what society (usually unspoken) expects from them. I certainly condemn people who break the laws, but I hold admiration to the minority, like myself, who do not follow the rules that society guides them towards.
- · Most people (women mainly, but men subsequently follow women in seek of their approval) enjoy drama, complications, and issues in life. I prefer a simple and quiet life, with as little drama in it as possible.
- · Most people follow the crowd, even if it is a pastime or process that they are not happy or comfortable with. I will not waste time, money or energy on anyone or anything who/that would not piss on me if I were on fire.
- · Most people get by in life on lies, bullshit, and fabricated stories. I like honesty, straight talking, and people who back up their words with actions.
- · Too high a percentage of men have become too feminine, passive, lapdog oriented, and agreeable for my liking. Concurrently, too high a percentage of women have become masculine, arrogant, unapproachable, and thinking they are considerably better than their objective value to the world. This all goes totally against my liking. I like men to be firm and masculine, and for women to be pleasant and feminine.
- · Most people have no self-identity or uniqueness in their character, such is the default mentality as explained from all the above. I strive to be unique and identified - stressed in an effortless manner and not one seeking attention - in order to know that even if I die tomorrow, I have left my mark on life.
When did it all come to this?
It is hard to pinpoint an exact time or date when people started to in essence be self-conscious acting human beings, concurrent to the sheep following mentality that brought about no, or little, uniqueness or identity to their existence. Often with things that are transitory, there is never a defined start date. The gradual process simply grows day by day, to the point where years later it seems like a different world to once was.
Not that I’m saying that none of the above bullet-point examples did not exist fifteen or twenty (or more) years ago. What I would say though is that, without living or conscious anecdotal or otherwise proof, I would expect that things have escalated in detrimental terms far more in the last couple of decades than the couple of decades that led before.
In other words, I predict there was not so much of a change in an average person’s character between the years of 1982 to 2002, in comparison to between the years of 2002 and 2022. Maybe those who have lived and studied this dynamic through both eras are better placed than me to comment?
What brought this all about?
The internet evolution in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s would play a big part in this. Suddenly people were exposed to, and had access to, a lot more information on other people’s lives than ever before. Whilst studying the lives of others may be beneficial to kill some idle time and add some talking points, generally if one person is constantly reading about another person’s far (on paper at least) more eventful and wealthy life, it usually only has a sad ending to the former person’s mindset.
Celebrity magazines (granted, these were around pre-2000) that emphasized the apparent fame and wealth of people in high places also did nothing to help. Again, all this assisted in doing was taking the focus away from making the best of yourself, and instead taking preference to kiss ass those inside the pages.
Social media – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc – in my opinion played the biggest role in losing people’s individuality. All this manifested an ever-growing mentality to be part of an in-crowd and forever obsessive knowing of what is going on with everyone else’s life. Jealousy, back-stabbing, FOMO, fear that another peer’s life is better than your own – were just some of the poisons that could be spread from the social media phenomenon. Nevertheless, all the aforementioned did not come close to how social media robotically forced people to follow rather than lead and be yourself.
Talentless goblin TV programs – Love Island, Geordie Shore, Made in Chelsea, Desperate Scousewives etc – and the by-product of making people famous based on zero talent, falls only slightly behind social media in the demise of society. Suddenly programs of this type gave hope to the girl next door with little intelligence or talent, that she could be the next person to make a dream life for herself without ever having to do a normal job and live in a world of demanding work and reality. If she (or he) couldn’t make it, she would then supplicate to the person on television who did make it, most likely almost trying to live her own life as one seen on screen.
There is nothing wrong in having a dream. Dreams are healthy when implemented correctly, as a substantial proportion of life is spent living in hope. Hope is what keeps us alive, no matter how dark the day has been. However, when dreams take over from reality, and a person has no plan B to compensate, there is rarely a closing chapter which offers a happy conclusion.
A final thought
I am not going to lie. I have often thought that the life I have fallen into may not be what offers the best avenues to modern day women. Some women will respect me for being this way (in fact most women will respect me, if they are being honest), but as modern day women are now far more focused and accustomed in their minds to be part of a crowd that draws in the most numbers – even if this means being with men who do not beat their hearts or wet their panties – then it has most likely left me playing the low law of averages.
So maybe I am the one who has got it wrong, in spite of believing I have got it right? Maybe had I just acted like most men – with a lack of confidence, shortage of unique persona, low focal point of individuality, and high need to follow what they think is expected of them – then this would have led to larger pools of women than experienced. Not that I am at all complaining, given the circumstances, but it is in context with what could have been. I guess I will never know.
All I can say is that irrelevant to whether I was right or wrong, I can look myself in the mirror knowing I became the man, by and large, who I desired to become. I guess, when all is said and done, this is the price of doing business. You may not always win the deal, but the deals you won were acquired with integrity, and no need for a brown paper bag slipped under the table to your client, so to speak…