Friday 18 February 2022

Men idolizing other men is a big mistake


“If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you’re pissing on the present.(Malachy McCourt)


I’ve never quite worked out why a man, especially in this day and age with the assistance of online videos and similar, would need to hire a male personal trainer at the gym.  I understand why many women hire a personal trainer due to differing motivations (as explained in this previous post) than primarily trying to get their body in optimum shape, but for a man it manufactures more harm than good in my opinion.  At least in terms of trying to attract women, in any case.

I’m not saying the numerous men I have seen taking on a personal trainer is always idolization as such (although sometimes it is), as much as needing a male figure to follow in both literal and metaphorical terms.  Irrespective, I can never help but see it as the personal trainer raising his status and profile concurrent to the trainee deleveraging his likewise viewed upon attraction metrics in this respect.  In a competitive world, it is well advised to make any such effort, no matter how small it may seem, for a man to leverage his offerings and reduce or hide his shortcomings.  Women sniff these pros and cons like dogs sense piss on a lamppost. 

Male fame idolizing

Another critical mistake a lot of men make is in the form of their supplication, sycophancy, idolization, and kiss assing of men who exist in the public eye.  This is usually fanboys sucking up to their favourite sports stars, but it can be other high-profile figures too. 

Once more, this is replicating what women are accustomed to do – with both male and female celebrities – but as most women are not at ease in finding comfort and confidence in their own strengths (especially strengths which are outside of their physical attractiveness offering), it can be excused as an innate female trait which is outside of a woman’s natural control.  When a man acts out in the same way as a woman, in any way, shape or form, you can guarantee that a woman will be less sexually attracted to said man.

Q-tip 1:

When a man acts like a woman, he will be seen as less sexually attractive by all women.  Likewise, when a woman acts like a man, she will be seen as less sexually attractive by men.  The inverse applies in both gender scenarios. 

I’ve seen this ass kissing of other male men with my own two eyes, and on more occasions than I should have done so.  Granted, this can be justified when you are just a kid to first becoming an adult (say, 8 to 18), because as a boy it is a forgivable and automated directive to think this is what should be done.  Beyond this age, and any man would be prudent to kick it out of his system sooner rather than later.  Unfortunately, I still see men in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and even 50’s still acting out this need for a male role model.

And this brings me nicely onto the subject of roles models.  I can’t remember ever having a role model in my whole life, but if pushed to an answer, I’d take it from my grandfather, Father, Mother and Brother.  To clarify though, it would be more a case of bringing their strengths into my character, and equally refraining their weaknesses from creeping into my personal constitution. 

Q-tip 2:

You’re only as tall as the shoulders you stand on as a kid growing up. 

I’ve also looked fondly upon many male figureheads – Nelson Mandela, Will Smith, David Beckham, Justin Timberlake, Enrique Iglesias, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Rafael Nadal – to name but a few, but again it was a mere assessment of their blessings, character and attributes, as opposed to a role model requirement.  I guess, as a credit and consequential benefit to myself, that I’ve always primarily wanted to be my own person.  Anything else was a simple assistance to get there.

Why are so few men their own man?

And I think there forms the critical problem.  More men have become the way of women - in being followers, worrying what the world thinks of them, trying to be popular, partaking in too much social media and celebrity searching, trying to fit into what they believe society expects from them, and ultimately not focusing on what they want to be and how they will get there.  Too many men play the role of trying to please a woman before pleasing himself, and this manifests to produce a man who in essence lacks any kind of uniqueness or individuality. 

When a man loses focus on who he strives to be in preference, or at least expectancy, of fitting into pleasing his male friends, work colleagues, girlfriend, or women in general, he relinquishes the luxury of being the person that allows him to look in the mirror each night with pride.  He becomes a puppet to society.  He becomes a lesser version of himself.  He becomes a poor representation of his own life as only he who holds the keys to.

Why are women repulsed by men who follow other men?

In simple explanation, any study of animals or humans illustrates, with no questions needed, that the female species is drawn towards male species who hold alpha traits.  Alpha traits come in the form of leadership (whether this is leading himself or other men), individuality, exclusiveness, uniqueness, confidence, carefree attitude, stand-out features, and an effortless ability to attract the opposite sex.

Conversely, the female species is repelled from male species who hold beta traits.  Beta traits are highlighted by a need to follow, a cloned appearance, a lack of self-assurance and self-confidence, too much concern to what people think of him, and a lack of presence to project the eyes of the other sex onto him.

So, if a woman sees a man following the footsteps of another man, and worse still if he is showing signs that he idolizes this man, she is basically losing sexual attraction onto him second by second.  Of course, women will never tell you this, because women’s egos prefer to be with exampled beta male than alpha male.  She will just be less sexually attracted to the man who plays to the tune of what society asks of him.

Q-tip 3:

A man does not need to be tall, good-looking, or in prime body shape to be an alpha male.  Most alpha male characteristics are comprised from non-visual offerings.

A final thought

I’ll never forget one night out when I joined a few close friends a bit later than they commenced.  Most of the group were men from my closest friendships, but there were a couple of others I had never seen.  One of these strangers was the boss (of similar age) of my close friend.

Later that night, my mate told me that the men in his workplace office were having a discussion a few days earlier about their male crush from the world of fame or otherwise.  Apparently when I announced that evening, his boss told him that his male crush is me.

In the immediate term, I felt a little uncomfortable.  I was quite a bit younger then with perhaps not the same level of either instant or retrospective thought-process to how the world works.  Nevertheless, it didn’t take me long to realize this was a huge compliment, even if the price to pay was prompt unease.

Because when a man is idolized by another man, it is effectively the equivalence of a man being looked at with bed eyes by an attractive woman.  Both situations are basically speaking the language that you don’t just fit the bill of a run of the mill male presence. 

A final, final thought

I can’t comment on other countries outside of the UK, but something that leaves me lifting my eyeballs a lot is when I hear these male radio presenters.  Similar could be seen and heard with many male journalists who interview celebrities or men in the public eye.

Not only do they epitomise the modern-day man – feminine, weak voice tone, dramatic expressions, lapdog character – but they act out the perennial version of said modern day man in the way of kissing the arse of the male celebrity they are interviewing or referencing.

I understand this may come with the territory of seeking and acquiring the approval of the male celebrity in order for him (the famous man) to think highly of the employing broadcaster and consequently come back for more, but I just can’t get past the bitter taste it leaves in my mouth when one man sucks up to another man.  I couldn’t think of something I’d rather do less!  Be your own man, that’s what I say. 

Because there is no way in hell that any attractive and sought-after woman is sexually attracted to a man who idolizes, looks up to, or is in awe of another man.  All this achieves is, even if she so happens to be the girlfriend of the kiss assing man, for her to actually want to be with the man her male partner is hero-worshipping. 

This isn’t to say that many of these referenced male radio or television presenters/journalists are not with attractive women.  Far from it.  Women will happily conveniently be in a relationship with these men because, although sometimes on a scale of Z-list celebrity, he still attains a level of fame over and above 99% of other men.  It all feeds back to women’s hunger for male status and feeding of her ego, popularity and attention from the public, over and above finding a man who makes her heart beat faster.

Friday 4 February 2022

Some women date stinky men


                                  “Make a mistake once, then forgiveness on the shame.                                      Make the same mistake again, then shame on you."


When I’m talking about stinky men in this context, it’s with reference to men with bad odour.  This may seem like a strange topic to analyse, simply because no woman is going to say she would date a stinky man, but what women say and what women do are very often contradictory.

 A recent event

One morning last week I finished my workout in the gym, and I subsequently took a routine sauna followed by a long and deep cleanse shower.  As I dressed back into clothes, a young man I know sat a few yards away.  He fully undressed prior to walking to the shower area, placing his garments on the bench, and it left one monumental pong behind.  The horrible smell lingered for a while before I hurried my changing routine and made a swift exit.

To be fair, I’ve never sensed a bad odour on him in the gym, therefore this must have been the after-effects of a workout.  Even with this consideration, I still find it hard to fathom how the whiff could have been so repulsive.  He has mentioned his girlfriend on more than a couple of occasions, however I have never seen her.

Stinky man from previous workplace

A good few years ago now, I worked with a male colleague in the same department who also had a bad smell that followed him around.  Often this was stale or damp clothes as opposed to body odour as such, but I recall times when it was the latter predicament too.  I’ll never forget one time when, to my luck when I worked on a desk more than ten yards away from him, apparently he took his shoes off.  When telling me about this event, another colleague described the smell in certain terms as a dead rat infestation that had been undiscovered for weeks.

The smelly man in question seemed to always have a girlfriend, or at least a woman he was seeing casually.  I met two of his girlfriends (the latter woman is now his wife and mother to his child), and they weren’t too shabby at all with a physical attractiveness of 7.75/10 and 7/10 respectively.  I always recall one night out when he met up with his girlfriend (now wife), and I went up to the group gathering a few minutes later.  As I stood nearby, her face turned to undeniable antagonism of my presence.


When a woman dates down in physical looks terms, she generally and primarily chooses this man in order to feel better about herself and to feed off the ego thrill boost of his comparative ugliness.  The problem with this choice is it is born out of a stronger desire to feel good about herself than the desire of natural attraction and love onto him, and this leaves a bitter pill to swallow when she sees a considerably more physically attractive man in close proximity to her male partner.  This explains why a high percentage of women portray negative body language when hot men are near to their real estate, and this negativity is compounded when her male partner is also there.

Why may women date smelly men?

One reason a woman may turn a blind eye, or blocked nose in this case, to a man with bad odour is because she put up with his nasty scent in the early days when she was going through the “kiss my rosy ass” phase, and her nasal scent has simply just become accustomed to it.  This is not inconceivable.

Another reason is that she is a bit smelly herself, or she has been brought up in a poor odour household.  Examples could be where her parents and/or siblings never smelt great, and the smell of a stinky boyfriend is nothing new or abhorrent.  Student households are also notorious for lingering revolting smells, therefore if she has a university background, it could explain to a certain extent that dating a pongy man is second nature to her.

Nevertheless, I believe that a lot of women who date men with vile smells do it as an act of insecurity and lack of self-confidence.  If a man smells foul, she will know his options with the most sought-after women, and in particular the hottest women, will be reduced at worst or non-existent as likelihood.  It’s the same dynamic as dating a man less physically attractive than what she could attain.  In both scenarios, the options, or at least the attention, this man attains with other women goes south rather than north, all else being equal.

Why men should smell admirable

As explained in this previous post, smelling good and stand out as a man is a free passport to further openings with more women.  Tell me if I’m wrong, but I would anticipate this – attracting women - is the primary objective of a man in most cases.  All else is just a path and endeavour to get there, right?

Bearing in mind that even with good lifestyle, diet and exercise, a man’s facial features can only be improved so far.  He can only fight genetics to a degree.  His height, other than wearing shoes or trainers that elevate him an inch or two, is what it is.  Improving your body profile as a man is the most feasible and attainable out the three male physical attractiveness metrics, but this needs a level of dedication, routine, time, and arduous work that most men aren’t willing to maintain for a prolonged period.

With all this in mind, smelling pleasant as a man is the easiest route to attract women over and above a standing start.  The hotter the woman, the more positively receptive she will likely be in scenting your endearing aroma.  The rewards far outweigh the minimal cost.

With that being said, clearly there are some women who will not turn you down for smelling nauseating.  I won’t be asking these ladies out any time soon…