Monday 31 December 2018

Male relationship status and consequential female projected attraction

“Always believe in Adam and Eve, as what you see is the way it will be.”

All else equal, this is the order from strongest to weakest to illustrate how women are attracted to men’s relationship status:

1)   When a woman knows a man personally, and he has an impending wedding with another woman.
2)     When a woman knows a man personally, and he has recently become a husband.
3)     When a woman knows a man who has a girlfriend.
4)     When the woman in 1) and 2) knows the man, and he has been in a marriage for a  considerable (1 year +) time.
5)     When a woman does not personally know a man (but she knows of him), and she    sees him with a wedding ring on.
6)     When a woman personally knows a man and he is single.
7)     When a woman does not know a man in any way, shape or form, and he is single.

The key phrase here is “all else equal”, closely followed by “generally speaking”.  This is important to emphasize, as like anything in life there are exceptions.  For example, if a man is from the top 2% to 3% of physically attractive men out there – in facial features, body profile and height – the appeal of him being married or to become a husband is not as big a draw in comparison to an average looking (or even ugly) man.  The same applies to a famous man or even a man with a high local social status, irrespective of his looks.  In both cases this is because men who are already striking women’s attention possess a level of unattainability in the eyes of >95% of women, and if they are willing to consider taking things further with him, they need a feeling of hope.  If a man of blessed looks or social standing is tied down, most women will feel they cannot compete with his girlfriend/wife (otherwise why would he be with her in the first place if she wasn’t already the most sought-after woman out there?).

But I’ll explain in most cases why the order applies:

1)   In scenario 1, a woman is never more challenged than when she could show the world her value is so great that she can prize away a man who has the big day ahead of him.
2)   Although in scenario 2 the feelings are still high, it is slightly reduced in respect to scenario 1 because the primary challenge was to prevent him from walking down the aisle.  Nevertheless, if she could prize him away early in the marriage, she will still believe she is the princess of all princesses.  
3)   Scenario 3 is still high due to the preselection verification the man attains, however women in general terms would not find him as appealing in contrast to him as a husband.
4)    Scenario 4 is lower than 1 and 2, because by now her ego has been so damaged over time that she has most likely turned her attentions towards another man in scenario 1 or 2.
5)    Scenario 5 is a little more complex.  Although women love the emotion of intrigue and mystique, in today’s world where women hide behind their own social circles – both primary and secondary – in thinking the only world that exists is one where people know her, women have a greater attraction onto men they know than men they don’t know (again, stressing the all else equal phrase).  Therefore, the man in scenario 5 falls below those in 1 to 4, but considerably higher than scenario 7.
6)    Women are least attracted to single men as in scenario 6, but providing he isn’t a complete loser the feeling of social network comfort and safety beats the unknown.  
7)    Pure and simple, women in this day and age, especially those from the upper regions of female physical attractiveness, find single men who they do not know personally the least appealing in terms of taking things further.

I like to look at this in a three-stage process.  First, promote your non-single relationship status, especially if your better half is at least as attractive as any female onlookers.  If you are not in a relationship, discretely mention recent ex-girlfriends.  Second, a strong social network that consists of attractive women (whether first or second hand) will bring about far easier access to female appeal onto you.  As pathetic as this is, a woman likes the thought of telling her friends she is involved with a man they (her friends) are knowledgeable of.  A man they do not know does not, at least in the beginning, hold that same status.  Third, if you are a single man who, whether within or beyond your feasible control, does not hold a strong social network, strive to work on other aspects within your power that mitigate landing in scenario 7.  This will come in the form of working out at the gym, presenting yourself well with good styling (hair, clothes, skin, scent), and maximizing your career potential in both status and earnings terms.

I have recently left a company where my direct colleague announced his engagement at the back end of last year, with the wedding taking place in late October of this year (a couple of weeks before I was put on gardening leave with no notice served).  This man is above average looking in facial terms, slightly overweight (cuddly fat rather than transparent blubber), and not a fraction above 5ft 7”.  He turned 30 in June, and I have recently been informed by a former employee in the know that he is significantly paid below the average at that company.  To say he kisses the asses of other men with higher status is an understatement, and his lapdog character is in sync with his need to have other male role models in his life.  What ever happened to being your own man?  I could manufacture a better man out of the parsnips served up on Christmas Day. 

Despite all this, it was clear as a summer’s day that a few of the more fuckable women who worked there (nothing special, just a few 6.5’s to 7’s) started to give him pronounced increased attention over the last nine months prior to my departure.  I couldn’t first hand tell you whether he has since rolled down the order as illustrated above, but just your general knowledge to how women emotionally act will confirm I’d be on the money.

As a side issue, one of the half-decent looking women I reference at my former company is at least 5ft 9” (she is 25 years in age).  When done up I’d say she is a solid 7/10.  Her boyfriend is a good-looking guy, although an inch or so shorter than her in height.  For the record, they got together when she was 15 (he is now 28 or 29), somewhat backing up my point that women are far more likely to date the hottest guys at a younger age.  She not long ago was salivating over another short guy who visited the office. 

My point to this ending is on two fronts.  First, look at the difference in the same woman from 15 to 25 in age.  At 15 she went for the hottest (and most likely one of the most popular in her crappy little town) guys, yet at 25 she is perhaps strategizing that her next boyfriend will be far more mediocre in physical rating.  The talk was it will not last much longer with her current man.  If he hasn’t committed to her after ten years, the likelihood he never will – with her anyway.  Second, if ever there are shorter than average men out there who think women will only date men as tall or taller than them, then think again.  There are many a tall woman who considers the detriments in being with a taller man in the long haul – mainly because of negative impactual thoughts in birthing a tall daughter – and consequently she will look for men an inch or two shorter than herself. 

A final thought

As a final thought and for further illustration that men are immensely different to women in consideration to relationship status selectivity, this would be the order in gender opposing relative terms.  From strongest to weakest attraction once more, all else equal:

6) and 7) are joint strongest.  Much depends on whether he simply wants a fresh start or not, and how confident he is in meeting new people.  My personal preference is 7).
1), 2) and 4) all joint weakest.

I wouldn’t argue with anyone if 3) and 5) swopped places.  In fact, 5) – a married woman I don’t know and without a kid – has in admission over the last year or so become a more appealing proposition to me, albeit still in acknowledgement it is not ideal.  This is providing she meets the physical attractiveness criteria, which most likely means she married early (early to mid-20’s) in adult life.  The reason women in this bracket have become more appealing to me is on two fronts:  First, a woman who has been married does, by and large, not have the strong hurry or inclination to tie down a man who will commit to her and give her the big exhibition day.  That tick in the box has been fulfilled with another sucker, and she is far more interested in passion and fun in the short and medium term at least.  Second, most women will have married a boring and average looking nice guy, and they are far more open to take things on with men who have high sex appeal in comparison to unmarried younger women on the lookout for he who will provide her with a wedding day and, providing she is not totally repulsed by him, children. 

Simply put though with a blank piece of paper to write on, men desire to be with women holding no marital (impending or actual) baggage when they become involved with women.  This also applies for one-night stands or short-term flings, although the care of her relationship status for these matters are hugely shrunk in contrast to a longer-term consideration.  Likewise, >99% of men would much prefer a woman who is single over one who has a boyfriend. 

If ever you choose to study just one difference that exists between women and men, analyze it from a pre-selection and relationship status viewpoint.  This will serve as your foundation for progression in understanding women, and ultimately becoming far better in dealing with them to ultimately give yourself a happier and more productive life.

Happy new year to you all, and all the best of happiness and health for 2019.

Friday 28 December 2018

The unfortunate modern day we live in

“Get busy living or get busy dying.”
                                                                               Stephen King, Different Seasons (1982)

I haven’t found where this actual chart originates or links from.  I located it when searching down my LinkedIn profile feed.  It may be somewhat exaggerated or even made up, and if so in the case of the latter, the validity in objective form does not carry much weight.  It is only fair to point out this possibility, as after all WCMD has always been based on as much objective nature as possible, in addition to what you see with your own two eyes.

What you see with your own two eyes is arguably more important and valid than any science related graph, chart, report or other source you may find on heterosexual relationship psychology, as much of the outcomes and conclusions are based on human answers.  Whether in anonymous conditions or not, many people (mainly women) will be economical with the truth regarding their real feelings towards the topic – due to protecting their pride, coming across as more genuine and moral than they are, and sometimes not even truly knowing how they act out in real life situations – therefore the statistics shown are only as useful as the truth in people’s language. 

The counter-argument to the above is that you are only one person in the world.  The cynic to my view could say that even if you are honestly and accurately seeing one trend, this may not be the way things materialize in general terms and how other people see other happenings.  Fair argument.  I argue back that I don’t just look at scenarios that exist or happen/happened in my own life, and I stretch this observation to inundated interactions between men and women - often those I don’t even know on any kind of level at all. 

Only you can choose which avenue to take in bringing about a happier and more productive life for yourself, but one point I would make without a moment of hesitation is that, no matter which option you run with, you must lay your chips on that colour and be decisive.  Sometimes it may be a combination of both, with science serving as support or reinforcement to what you already have seen or know.

For the purpose of this post, let’s assume the below chart is from actual findings.  Again, if you have lived a day in a life you will most likely by the end of reading believe this is how life plans out in the real world.

Boy to Boy
This could also apply with Man to Man.  The male population, by and large, are not comfortable talking for long periods on the phone.  They like to get to the point, generally to arrange a meeting point, and then cut loose.  No drama required.

Boy to Mom
I expected this to be longer than Boy to Boy.  In fairness though a boy only needs to ring his mother to pick him up or for a quick bit of advice (based on a high percentage of single parent families that now exist in comparison to previous generations).

Boy to Dad
Boy:      “Pick us up please Dad.”
Dad:      “Where are you?”
Boy:      “At the match with my mates. I’ll walk into town and wait at the fish and chip shop.”
Dad:      “See you in twenty minutes.”
Depending on the age of the boy, Dad may suggest stopping off for a burger or the son may suggest taking the old man for a beer.  Either way, they will feel no need for a long telephone conversation, but in the hope of a good son/father relationship, they will have a decent chat in person later.

Boy to Girl
Don’t get too confused in the hour plus length of this conversation.  The innocent and instinctive bystander may interpret this as the boy doing most of the talking as he was the one that rang her.  The more likely reasons are:
  •  He is far more grateful to be with her than the inverse (as young female value is much greater than young male value, or put another way, young female options with the opposite sex is greater than young male options with young girls), therefore he always feels it is his duty to use up his mobile phone minutes allowance.
  • Girl does most of the talking, predominantly based on drama between her friends and their respective boyfriends.
  • Due to the clingy nature of most young men and boys, the longer he can keep her on the phone, the longer she cannot go on the hunt for a better male option.
  • Boy, in his na├»ve and clueless mentality towards the female mind, thinks she will be grateful the more often he rings and longer the call is.  All this will do is enlarge her head.  She, over time, will become irritated that he tries too hard and is too pleased to be with her.

Girl to Girl
Drama, drama, drama, drama….  So busy, busy, busy, busy….  “Everybody is sooooo interested in me and my life.”  “There is no world outside of mine.” (“What do you mean there are another 7 billion people in the world!?”).  Two and a half hours later – “Ring me later babe.” (so they can repeat the same conversation from earlier).

Husband to Wife
Appeasing husband rings.  Wife (who is now fed up with him a year after wedding has been fulfilled) has nothing to say to him unless it is to moan.
Although clearly this duration has been manipulated for amusement more than any other dynamic, the seriousness of this example cannot be ignored.  When women (or girls) are in a non-marital relationship, irrespective to whether their male partner hits her buttons or not, she will put far more effort into their time together.  Once married, the motivation and self-reward to be charming, aimable, endearing and endeavouring has been severely diminished. 

Mom to Married Daughter
This is probably the most concerning bond that has changed the greatest in the last generation.  Mom rings daughter as daughter is the princess of the family to who the world must accommodate.  Daughter does the majority of taking, pretty much repeating what she spoke about to her friend in the 02:35:20 conversation.  The biggest change to modern day society though is modern day mothers – especially those still in their 30s or early 40s when daughter is in her later teens to mid-twenties.  It was once that mothers, in relativity to today, were the responsible, educating, drama free and non-attention seeking parental figures who were there to guide their children through the muddy waters and precarious fields of life.  Now, with social media largely to blame, today’s mother is only a slightly mature version of her 18-year-old self. 

Wife to Husband
He knows she is only ringing to either moan or ask for something.  More sly husbands will ignore the call while they are on the job to another woman, although this compartment of men (adulterating men), contrary to female belief, is a very low percentage. 

Q-Tip 1:
Notice that apart from ringing her own friend, a girl never rings anyone else.  Self-entitlement and a thought-process that the world should come to her springs to mind. 

Q-Tip 2:
All this gives further ammunition that, by clear majority and in the general scheme of things, young girls and women up to the age of 30 have the most power and options in the sexual market.  Men out of marriage start to catch up towards the late 20’s.  Men who choose marriage surrender much of this power due to the consequences a failed marriage brings to the table.  Women’s options take a large cut from 30 onwards, although marriage can give them security with the one man they marry.

A final thought

I took a walk into Derby City Centre on Christmas Eve to buy a last few bits.  On the outskirts of town are a set of pedestrian traffic lights.  As they stalled on red, I noticed a cute long-haired brunette standing the opposite side with a baby in pushchair and young lad aged around 5 years.  The woman looked about 27.  Bearing in mind the pushchair could roll down, and the son could at any time just have a moment of madness to run across before permitted, you would like to think that her number one concern was ensuring neither moved even a centimeter forward.  Her number one concern was tapping away on her mobile phone.

This is the world we live in.  Get busy living, or get busy dying.

Tuesday 25 December 2018

Women’s beta male safety during November to February

“One bird in the hand beats two in the bush.”

For the record, the above phrase is not relevant to my mindset, and it never has been.  It represents the vast majority of women during their male partner selectivity lifespan.  Not always, and not all, but usually, and most.

In hands up admission, this post should have been issued at least a couple of months ago bearing in mind what it will illustrate, however when the circumstance is a working day of sixteen hours or so, you can forgive me for being a little busy of late.  Hey ho, if nothing else you can use it pertinently until the sign of spring is upon us, and for many years to come from now.  In addition, maybe this previous post is worth a refresher. 

If you are a combination of a man possessing good looks, charisma, style, personality, game (or at least strong knowledge of the red pill and female emotional psychology), smarts, confidence and positive attitude, and you are single in relationship terms in consequently looking for a sought after women who is at the top end (>7/10) of female physical beauty, you will most likely have found out for yourself, if honesty is part of your makeup, that finding a member of this female compartment to date or sleep with you is harder during the winter months.  As I’ve subscribed to before on this blog, women not only have a difference in their preferences of men during fertility/non-fertility stages within a living month, but they also have differing predilections of which men to be with during the months within the calendar year.

Make no mistake about it, after the final day of summer has diminished – for argument sake in the northern hemisphere this is the end of September – a woman will start to look more strongly for a boyfriend to get her through the winter months. If we call October the “transition” month, and we look at it optimistically that by March her tastes will have changed once more, this duration of being contempt with the cozy and safe, if not physically hitting her buttons, boyfriend will sit between November (or late October) and February.  When you consider Halloween parties, Bonfire Night, a potential birthday of hers, Christmas, New Year, “Dry January” (when people hardly go out), Valentines Day and the general lack of inclination to doll herself up for cold winter nights out with the girls all sit between this timeframe, it is little surprise this strategy is taken on in full force.

I’ve seen inundated women go through the summer months basked in girl’s nights out and similarly girl’s group holidays, only to then by late October be hand in hand with the perennial safe beta male boyfriend.  The poor guy is rarely clued up to what game she is up to, convincing himself that it’s all about fate, timing, his niceness, or her gratitude for someone to treat her like a princess.  By the time she has fulfilled the need for her ego to be stroked and validation she is loved, simultaneous to receiving all the gifts he has put in front of her and money spent on her during the last few months, there is nothing left for her to gain.  Ultimately, he is spent both in metaphorical and literal terms. 

The counter-argument women and lapdog men may, with a level of justification, put up is that in the course of four to five months the two of them will have slept together, maybe even many times.  No woman opens her legs for a man she isn’t into and is just using, right?  Well, I analyze from a different angle.  Most women who are with the typical average looking beta male are certainly not repulsed by him in a physical sense to start with.  They are simply, in comparison, not inspired to let him prize his pork sword inside her.  Most women are capable of having sex with men who do not arouse them to a high degree, but when they can receive expenditure (both in monetary and emotional terms), verification of a woman being valued and loved, and feeling better about herself in respect to both inner security and social media exposure, this is a pay cheque worth earning in change for a lack of sexual satisfaction.  At least, for a short period of time.  This short period of time is most prevalent to the winter months.

The above explanation is case in point when you hear hundreds of men in your lifetime moaning about the lack of sex they receive with their better half post wedding day.  If you hear hundreds, I can guarantee there are millions of other men going through the same process. The easy blame can be put on children, working hours, and a lack of time to get down to bedroom action.  The more honest reason will be because she has no sexual urge to get it on with him.  The reason she did drop her pants pre marriage was predominantly down to what she had to gain for the future – hence the life she wanted in a wedding day, a ring on finger for wife validation, children to show off (and as an opportunity to give up work), a big house, and a financial security claim when things go downhill.

Why is it harder during the November to February phase to find these top end alluring women if you are a top end quality man, as described up top?  In simple explanation: the higher the quality of man (which, although not in overall grading, in perception and unknown terms is based on good looks), the greater is the female assumption and perception that this man will not be good boyfriend or long-term material. Put another way: the more options a man attains with other women (which will be predicted by women when they see the most sought-after men), rightly or wrongly, the less zealous and interested he will be in just one woman.  Women are sexually attracted to men who attract many other women, but their egos are attracted to men who have no such luxury.  The balance for optimum female attraction and appeal onto a man is a fine one, but more often than not in today’s world they look after their egos ahead of their hearts.

Is there an answer?  As in any life scenario, I always believe every puzzle can be solved, even if some puzzles are harder and more time or energy consuming than others.  One way is to detect women who are single during the cold months.  They will be harder to locate due to the reasons as explained, but if you do find one, she will most likely be more engaging and receptive than during warmer months - such is her instincts for male company and attention.  Another formula is to look either side of the four to five month window.  September isn’t a bad time as it will coincide with the dry up of desire for girly time concurrent to focusing on man time, and with a breath of warm air still in the horizon she may be more temped for male sexual appeal over male safety appeal.  Sex is always better in the warmer months, and sex is always better when you are physically aroused by the person in impulsive measures. 

Nevertheless, if you want my best advice I’d lean towards March/April time.  For one reason, women are never in greater need for male edginess in the aftermath of male boredom.  If she’s up for it, your sheer presence will be enough for her to rejuvenate what passion is about.  Second, it is the sweet spot time before all the girly/attention whoring events are a hand’s stretch away that signify summer.  A woman in love and full of sexual attraction onto her man will ditch all her friends without a single second of thought or remorse.  Third, if she wasn’t actually one of those women who snatched up a sucker nice guy to see her through the winter, she will likely have been out of a relationship for some time.  No matter how much women may try and convince the world they are so happy to be single, free and independent, have full knowledge this is just female front and bullshit, with deep down feelings that she wants nothing more than a man who pushes the right buttons.

Merry Christmas all, and I genuinely wish all the happiness for you and your families. 

Sunday 18 March 2018

Women just cannot get on together

"Fakeness cannot cloud irritable inner feelings"

If ever you need living proof to illustrate why women are just simply not designed to amicably get on in groups where competition for attention is at stake, just take a look at this:

One is clearly antagonistic towards not being the centre of attention, another likewise but concealing this irritability better, one feeling discomfort but there for the ride, and another really trying to convince the audience (and herself) that she is so so happy to be part of this magical group.

Needless to say, who is the most comfortable, gleeful, relaxed and amicable?  You got it - the centre of attention herself!

By the way, if you listen to the lyrics it yet again smacks out language that doesn't reflect real life in terms of women's emotional habits and deliverables with men. The words would leave the naive bystander (as most people are) to think that a woman is so strong in the face of a man who, in her view, hasn't treated her right, and she has "moved on" so decisively. 

In real life, you will find that when women post messages or verbally broadcast how "over" they are or how much he has lost a prized asset princess, they are in actuality not over him at all. Contrast this to the usual course of events where the woman has dumped a man because she is bored or he no longer has anything left to other her life path - hence with boring nice guys - and I don't see her shouting from the rooftops towards how easily this chapter of her life has been tackled. She will say nothing, as in truth she is totally indifferent towards the man, just like she was indifferent about him in the majority course of the relationship.

So songs like this are reflecting the rare occasions when a woman dated a sought after popular jerk who did treat her badly. They just conveniently don't tell you they go running back to these men, such is the fear of being instead with a mundane beta male that most men are.

As a man, never allow yourself to be washed in by crap within lyrics of this nature. For every case where a woman has been treated badly by a jerk, there will be half a dozen occasions where she manipulated, lied to, and used the perennial nice guy. Leave the washed in brains to the teenage girls, and God help us older women too, who these records are produced to market attract.


Female age related challenges

"Don't be afraid to be the odd one out.  Often this person is the smartest out there."

Reader Bryce left a comment on the back of this previous post from WCMD:

Hey Vinay,

Long time no hear from, thanks for all the advice you have given. I started a new job a last year so I've been focusing on that mostly.

Are you still doing Q&A? If so, I have a few questions.

1. I find that being a good looking guy at work comes with challenges, such as teammates being mean and trying to make it look bad, managers do this too especially when they are on the younger side. Did you face any of those challenges and how did you overcome them?

It's similar to one of your posts where you mention joining a group but guys don't like the competition.

2. How did you build you apathy that leads to edginess? Basically how to not give a f#ck?

3. Also in your previous posts, you mention that some of the women you dated were very attractive, I interested in learning how to build consistency with higher quality woman. I am 28 years old now, so I don't hang around females who are in their lower 20s as often and not to mention I find them annoying sometimes...probably because I'm getting older. 

My response:

Hi Bryce,

Good to hear from you and hope all is well? Apologies for the late reply. Generally speaking I am working crazy hours which has put the blog to one side. But always happy to help:

1. I have absolutely suffered this scenario on many occasions, especially considering I live in a country like the UK where there is a culture to look after the "Great Underdog" and condemn uniqueness. The best way to overcome this predicament is to not abide by the normal lapdogs in the company, and just be yourself. Go by the "those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind" mentality.  Say this to them if it comes up in conversation, as it will be amazing how quickly they shut up (as ultimately this is you DHV'ing) them. Take any negative comments or body language they project onto you as a true back-handed compliment.

2. I built the "what's the worst that can happen" mindset into me. Obviously going through a number of tough stages in my life enabled easier adaptation to this thought process and execution, but you can do it too.  It's essentially the portray of outcome independence. Who's going to shoot you if you don't abide by what they want? Also, acknowledge that women like men who run with apathy, and see this character as the carrot at the end of the root.

3. If I'm brutally honest, the vast majority of top end quality (which for women is primarily judged by their looks) were, and still are, below the age of 24. I find it difficult to convince women above 23 (and even more so 25 or older) in time constrained moments that I'm anything more than a player. They ultimately assume a guy like me can have any woman he wants, therefore as women aged 24 to 32 are in some place between wanting to settle down with a future husband/father or currently in that position, they will look but not touch guys like me - with isolated exceptions.  This is why the most receptive women to very good looking men are under 24 or over 33. The young girls go with their hearts and sexual impulses, whilst the older women are in boring and unhappy relationships - and looking to cheat. The mid 20s to early 30s females are the most desperate to pin down the man who will marry them, even if this means being indifferent towards him in sexual and impulsive terms.

But this doesn't answer your point directly as much as it breaks down the barriers I perceive you to be encountering. If, as I suspect, you are on the lookout for attractive women In their late 20s, your best bet is to find them via a social (real life, not Internet) network, or less preferably in the workplace. This allows them to see your personality, and a gives them a level of reassurance that you're not just a pump and dump kind of guy. With all this said, I'd still screen for mature minded early 20s girls or women no older than 25 if I was in your position, simply because I can assure you that if you go for a woman same aged or older than you, her looks will dwindle much faster than yours. As much as you may love her as a partner and person, there will be an uncontrollable resentment on both parts in the future. Your resentment will derive from the fact you could have sex with more physically attractive women, and her animosity will manifest because she sees her male partner (you) as the younger looking and more attractive member of the relationship.

Hope this helps.