Friday 16 December 2022

Trust women at your peril

“When the forest burns down, the ashes seeds the green shoots.”


On the basis this man is telling the truth (and unlike women who go hunting for drama and sympathy, there is no reason to doubt the integrity of his words), this story can only bring a sickening feeling to any person who owns a moral heartbeat to their name.

My happiest memory unfortunately is also my most painful.

The girl I had been dating for many years got pregnant, she confessed to me she had sex with two other guys without protection. She had always been on the pill but ran out and was irresponsible about getting it refilled. She did not tell any of us three, and so all of a sudden there were three contenders for the kid’s father.

Based on the timing one of the guys was very unlikely to be the father. And my girl told me that the other guy’s doctor told him he was not capable of having kids due to some issue.

I stepped up and supported her through the pregnancy, I was the one who picked out his name even. When he was born all my paternal instincts just turned on like a faucet. He looked EXACTLY like my baby pictures. I just knew in my heart he had to be mine. It was the happiest I had ever felt.

I held him and he reached up and grabbed my pinky finger with his little hand. His first action in this world was reaching for me and I just lost it. I was bawling and I knew without a doubt he was mine and I would die for him without a second thought.

9 months later I decided to put my mind at ease and do a DNA test. It was just to confirm what I already knew, that I was his dad.

I was sitting in my Senior engineering class when I got the email for the results on my phone. Excited to get my confirmation I open it right away. The results showed there was 0% chance I was the father. I just walked out and sat in my car and cried, I was devastated.

Apparently the mom had tricked me. The other guy’s timing wasn’t off and that one guy’s doctor telling him he couldn't have kids was a lie. She just thought I was the best option and thought she could get me attached to the kid before I discovered he wasn’t mine.

I still loved the kid but the anger and bile I felt towards the mom was crippling. I just couldn’t forgive her. I had to say goodbye to them both.

It’s confusing because I can look back on that moment and recognize it was the happiest I had ever felt. But just thinking about it causes me immense pain. Even now 5 years later I’m having to wipe away tears as I write this.

My immediate thoughts

I hope for this man’s sake, and for other men who have either suffered similar ill fate or men who possess a too forgiving and compassionate character that places them in potential vulnerability in making the same error of judgement, if nothing else he/they can learn from this huge lapse of clear thinking at the time.  People, and mainly women, will tell men that love is a by-product of trust.  I say, earn my trust first and then I may love you should that trust be warranted.

The first surprising thing that comes to mind is that the woman confessed to sleeping with two other men during a simultaneous timeframe to Geordan.  This only leads me to conclude that there was no way she could have hidden this from him, and maybe they all resided in a small town “everyone knows everyone” kind of place.  Unless she is a woman who is so into her own self-importance – and could not hold herself from bragging about three men being so attracted to her at the same time (and these women do exist even in such drastic scenarios, albeit if in minority) – any sane woman would not tell the man anything about other men if she has pencilled him in as the “Dad”.  Of course, she could just be entirely honest and hold integrity, but then would you believe that if she is a woman who sleeps with other men with clearly little, or no, remorse?

Q-tip 1:                                                                                                                                         A woman attains an irresistible and uncontrollable urge to brag and inflate her self-importance to the world, but it will usually come behind in priority terms compared to how she can provide the best life option for herself.  Simply put, women like to feel better about themselves, but their survival mentality usually takes precedence.

With this in mind, I can only draw to the conclusion on this occasion that she had no alternative but to tell him there and then, in hope that (and as it worked out for her in retrospect, at least in the preliminary stage) she had a better chance of Geordan sticking around at this particular point rather than running the risk of him finding out when she was many months further pregnant.  Worse still, maybe admitting to all after she had given birth.  I am afraid, having done what she did, I cannot ever believe her coming clean about the two other men was born out of contrition.  She told him because she feared in him finding out another way.

Lessons to learn

No matter who you are, no man on earth with a pulse can be one hundred percent certain that his female partner – whether it is his girlfriend, fiancĂ© or wife – will never commit such a sin like this woman did.  Nevertheless, there are actions a man can take to significantly mitigate her doing so.  I list a few.  Some of it is with justified critique to Geordan based on the information he has given, whilst some of the advice is more general based on assumption and generalization. 

·       At the beginning, ensure that your girlfriend knows you will not put up with her shit, so to speak.  Whether that be frequent moods, lying, flirting with other men, or talking down to you and making sassy but unnecessary comments towards you (which she will not do a second time if you belittle her back at the first occasion she does it).

·       On the back of the above but ensuring this is articulated to her with total forthright and not an ounce of doubt, ensure she knows that if you found out she cheated on you, there is not one circumstance that would make you forgive her and stay with her.  

Q-tip 2:                                                                                                                                Too many women hold an arrogant viewpoint that a decent percentage of men would forgive them should they adulterate.  Unfortunately, this mindset is with some justification such is the fact that too many men exist where they think no other woman will have him.                                                                                                                    

·       Should she still cheat on you in practice, walk away without a moment of hesitation.  Your heart will be aching, your mouth will be dry, and your tears may be endless, but I can assure you it is a better path than being a lesser man than you aspire to be.  Even if that is not enough, further assurance can be given that you will never truly forgive her, and most certainly will never respect her again.

·       In the situation of Geordan – where his girlfriend says she is pregnant but had been sleeping with two other men – in addition to telling her plainly that she is dumped, start to ascertain how long she has been pregnant in respect to how that sits in comparison to whether you were having sex around that time.  If you were having frequent sex at that time, then this may not be an easy argument to get out of.  If it were more infrequent, this could be your starting point to get out without dirtying your hands.

·       Believing reasons, like her claiming one man is unlikely to be the father due to timing and the other man is fertility impaired, is not good enough.  If she is cunning enough to cheat on you, she is most certainly devious enough to lie to you.  Tell her you do not believe a word that comes out her mouth, and why should you? 

·       If she is still adamant you are the father, then play the innocent until proven guilty card.  In other words, tell her that she is necessitated to arrange for a DNA test or/and get her law team involved.  If she knows you are not the father, you will not hear from her again.  If she does genuinely believe you are the father, then you need to be biologically sure before supporting her through the pregnancy and compulsory post birth child support.

·       If tests prove you to be the father, she will attempt to manipulate your mind that she has changed as a person due to this impending motherhood, and that the two of you have bonded in the recent months.  She will try and persuade you that the two of you will be great parents and can still be a great couple.  She will further try and convince you, concurrent to trying to make you feel guilty if you do not agree and comply, that the child will suffer if the two of you are apart.  At this point you must be aware that she most certainly does not have your wellbeing at heart.  Even the kid is not her biggest priority.  Her priority is herself.

As Geordan pretty much said, he was simply nothing more than the best option out the three of them in her mind.

A final thought

Stories of this kind can only leave a person to question life perhaps even more than the most cynical mind questions it.  I am a cynical person, but this cynicism, in my opinion, has only derived from being a realist first, and consequently facing up to such realities and truisms that exist in this sometimes horrible world.  I am actually quite a positive person on the outside, but I cannot ignore events like this which somewhat make me negative on the inside.

Like anything, you then must question the commonality of instances like Geordan suffered.  First, I still believe only a minority of women do actually cheat on men (although far more women would like to cheat on men, and even more women think of cheating on their male partner).  Second, if a woman is sleeping with three (or more) men in the same period of life, it is unlikely she will run the risk of getting pregnant.  Most women contrive a pregnancy when they know they can get a sucker to stick around, and when they have found a man with a decent financial standing to support her.  Third, you will find that most women who have cheated on men will have done so when they are still in their fun-loving days (teens to early twenties, and hence have no intention to get pregnant), or after marriage (late twenties and beyond, and sometimes after having a kid with beta hubby too) because she has ticked off that chapter of life and her husband now has nothing left to offer her for the better.

With all that said, these disgusting states of affairs do happen, and it is men like Geordan who have to pick up the pieces of emotional and psychological unrest.  Some men may not even get that far, because the whole turmoil has manifested to decisions of taking their own lives.

Q-tip 3:                                                                                                                                    With the exception of fate that is too hard to compete with, most aspects of life are within your own control.  You cannot always control others, but you can control your own decisions.  When you control what you do, controlling others is a far easier task than when someone else was controlling the strings attached to your arms.


Thursday 1 December 2022

Money will never buy sincere attraction and love


                                         “If you refuse to face up to your weaknesses,                                           your strengths will never conceal these shortcomings.”


This will be a shorter post than usual, as quite frankly, five minutes of watching this man will fully illustrate three critical things in life:

1)    No amount of money will ever pay for a man’s beta, supplicated, passive, pathetic, cringeworthy and try-hard mannerisms that, in any honest onlooker’s eyes, are seen as completely and unequivocally negative ways to deliver his existence.

2)    No amount of money, no matter how vast it may be in actuality or pretence, will acquire a woman’s genuine love and physical attraction onto a man if he does not only see this wealth as an accompany to all the other (and more important) metrics he needs in addition to a simple big bank account.

3)    Money alone can, and does, buy women’s attention, time, and sexual offerings onto the subject man who possesses extreme wealth.  Nevertheless, this is simply and purely attractiveness appeal on his part that projects her towards him, and not sexual attraction, and not even close to ever being sincere love.

These few minutes represent everything a man should try and avoid in characteristic, visual, and partner dynamic terms.  I list an unexhaustive list:

·       Beta male epitome portray of a man.

·       Too try hard and seeking of attention (rather than letting the attention fall naturally onto him), assisted by stupid facial expressions on thumbnails and within the videos.

·       Expensive clothes that make him look no more attractive (just rich), and in truth, somewhat silly.

·       Making too much effort with the woman he is with, instead of the productive inverse scenario where a man allows his female partner to try hard to please him and fear losing him.

·       Him leaning into her, when it should be her leaning towards him.

·       Skinny, no muscle, and ultimately looking like a namby-pamby.

·       Weak and slightly feminine voice (granted, I have heard far more feminine speaking men than him).

·       Everything that, on face value alone, would lead a person with two brain cells to label him as an incel and mummy’s boy.

I read a few of comments that stood out. 

·       One person documented words to the effect that it just goes to show no amount of money can make a man an alpha male.  I agree with this, but again the caveat is if he does not do anything with his character to assist his monetary blessings.

·       Another person said that his girlfriend is a 28-year-old single parent, and implied that with all his money he should be with a 22-year-old, non-parenting female partner.  Whilst I do not know, and do not care, if this information is true or not, the commenter’s reasoning is accurate.  Whilst there is a percentage of 28-year-old women out there who are every bit as hot as any 22-year-old women you will see, these are isolated exceptions.  Also, generally a 22-year-old woman is not as materialistic or demanding in fallacy or self-indulgent ways than a 28-year-old woman, even though bizarrely the elder of the two is not as hot (and hence, not as sought after).  As for her allegedly being a single parent, then I doubt there is any honest man out there who would desire to being with a woman who has a child from a previous relationship in comparison to a woman who has never birthed – all else being equal.

·       The final comment that stayed with me was along the lines of: “It is better to be a multi-millionaire wuss than a financially broke alpha.”  This is open to debate, but then why do a lot of women who live with men in mansions have affairs with financially depleted men who live in grotty apartments?  I am sure you can draw your own conclusions to the rationale.

Is extreme wealth even counter-productive to men?

I would never understate the blessings of accumulating as much money as you can.  Not only does it take so much pressure off life, not only does it allow you to enjoy life more in the form of buying and doing things that make you happy, but it also gives more leverage to put your middle finger up to people and society that piss you off.  It is no coincidence that married men with children by and large look far more stressed, tired and pessimistic than single men, or men without such commitments.

Nevertheless, the problem with extreme wealth is that it makes men lazy in understanding what truly acquires female love and sexual attraction.  Too many men just believe that a big wallet will captivate a long queue of physically attractive women, and they lose focus, if this focus was even or ever there in the first place, of how to keep a woman interested in him.

Of course, all else being equal a man with money will stand out in female eyes more than a man with less money, but the money only acts as a visualization in the woman’s mind of a better life for herself.  As she simultaneously thinks of a nice house, a big wedding, fancy dinners, kids in good schools, weekend nights with other similar couples of wealth (in unofficially bragging against each other who has the better life), and social media whoring to expose all the aforementioned, she actually barely passes a thought to her lack of physical chemistry and sexual attraction onto the man who will provide all this for her.

What is the objective?

What is the solution, you may ask?  Well, it certainly is not a rocket science answer I give.  The easy remedy is to earn as much money as you can, but ensure your woman earns in other ways from you.  Still make her pay for the occasional thing you do together, in acknowledgement she is invested in the relationship.  Is she starts to act out of accordance, in no uncertain terms let her aware of this and that you will happily move on if she continues in this way.  And there will be no tear in your eye as you do…

When I look back at all my past endeavours with women – whether short, medium or long term – on every single occasion the love and affection they gave me was not correlated to money.  I received as much sincere love from women when I was a poor student as I did when I became much more financially secure.  The only thing that changed was that classier clothes and a decent car brought more female eyes onto me, but I have never once construed that as someone who would subsequently love me more for this.

In metaphorical summary, money to a man gets him to a woman’s door, it will often get him through the door, but it will not keep him in her bedroom if he does not study what makes a woman tick.  If men are too ignorant to learn this, or they are too arrogant to accept the truisms that sit within female emotional psychology, then they deserve every penny lost via the woman who bleeds him dry.

A final thought – the modern-day man at his lowest point

When you take a look at the comments below the vlog, this is as, maybe even more, disturbing than the muppet in the video himself.  What you find is a vast majority – it appears 80% at least – of commenters (mainly men, but women too) who are kissing the ass of his fairy-tale life.  A minority (<20%) are happy to have the balls in telling him for what he is, which aligns with my critique within this post.

The reason this is so frustrating is because it is one thing to constantly click on youtubers, Instagram whores, or just general talented or talentless A to Z celebrities, but it is an even more pitiful excuse of a human being to then suck up and be sycophant towards the exhibitionist.  I sometimes despair to the general society we have predominantly become in this respect.

Is there a sign of this predicament going away any time soon?  Not from where I am standing, and in fact it only appears to be escalating year on year.  Women are accustomed to being natural followers and possessing a need to fit in to the in-crowd and what is popular (even if they in fact do not like what they see or do), therefore whilst I do not like this situation, female kiss assing of both other women and men is a little more forgiving.

However, when it derives to men acting in the same way, my hands just cover my head.  What happened to male individualism, and in being the best man he can become without the need to kiss ass another man?  Do these men have no shame, and they are just acting this way because it is what women do and they believe this is the best way to enter women’s lives?  Have men become so feminine that they have just a defaulted brain function to act like women anyway?

Every person has their price to a better life for themselves, but I can assure you that you would have to present one hell of a sum of money to make me change and become a rosy ass kisser of another man.  I am struggling to think of any other scenario in life which would repulse me more.  Could I even look myself in the mirror at night knowing this is the way I conduct myself?  Sometimes money is not enough to compromise your dignity.