I don’t know anything, but I know people. And because of that I know everything.”
Many years ago, I published this post about women’s disingenuous friendships. It may have come across as harsh in a lot of people’s minds, but I stick by it every bit as much, if not more, today. I don’t make the rules in life, I just simply watch how people act out in devising their own rules.
Nevertheless, to balance things out even on a micro scale, it is fair to say that a minority of women (I’d estimate 20% as a maximum) do go against the grain of this disloyal and self-centred mentality, at least in the whole scheme of things anyway. I have been involved with more than a few of these, therefore allow me to speak from first-hand experience.
Why did I end up with this minority segment?
So, if as I predict, that women who wouldn’t stab their female friends in the back is less than two in ten, did I coincidentally fall in the arms of this minority female segment?
First, I would like to think that I’m a decent judge of character with people generally, but in particular with women I hold a sexual attraction to. Granted, you never truly know a woman until you start to date her and see her regularly, however there are aspects you can pick up on even in the first conversation.
Second, as I have documented in the past, I have mostly tended to end up with “girl’s girls” (women who prefer to go out with their friends over always having a boyfriend) female characters as opposed to “homely girls” (women who seemingly are never, or rarely, out of a relationship). Girl’s girls, based on my experience and general observations/evaluations, attain higher standards in men – hence why they are not in relationships as much as their homely girl female counterparts. If I, at the risk of tooting my own horn, assess myself at the higher end of sought-after males out there, then this would explain a lot to why I end up with them.
Third, I tend to find most women I have romantically been involved with for a medium to lengthy period of time have been clued up enough to be on their best behaviour in order to impress me and get me to stick around. They will notice my judgmental ways early on. With all this in mind, even if they perhaps have slipped up on the female friendship loyalty perspective in the past, they will be wise enough to not even allow me a sniff of this misdemeanour.
Why do most women have little loyalty towards their female friends?
Simply put, a woman fundamentally has three main purposes her life:
1) To acquire more attention and spotlight onto her life than her female friends.
2) To feel good about herself and her life.
3) To find the highest quality man possible to give her the best possible life.
1 and 2, going without saying one could argue, are more fuelled by her own offerings to life than a man in her life per se. In other words, Instagram pictures of her laughing it up on a night out or sunny holiday with the girls does not require a male presence. Buying herself a nice handbag or pair of shoes, or visiting the nail/tanning salon, is once more sourced by the motivations of 1 and 2.
Point 3 can only be, naturally, accomplished by the existence of a man. Finding this man is a harder concept, dependant on each woman’s standards and requirements, but eventually and if single for too long (in particular if all her mates start to have boyfriends), these standards and requirements start to bring about a lower bar. If she doesn’t bring down this tick list, she runs the risk of waiting too long and then having to lower the bar even further still down the line.
In essence then, there are two opposing forces in life. On the one hand women are becoming more demanding and expectant, yet on the other hand life is only becoming tougher for young men to provide them with this life. Accepted, the demands and expectations are largely dictated by a woman’s physical attractiveness level and social class, but it would take someone with their head in the clouds or living in a cave to say the average level of these female wants and needs has not increased year on year for the last two decades at least.
What this all manifests down to is a higher female demand fighting for a lower pool of men who can provide it. What this further compounds is a higher competitive streak in a woman’s make-up to fight for this small slice of the pie. If this means trampling over her so called friend/s to achieve this, then so be it.
A final thought
It is important to remember though, that whilst some women are far more loyal to their female friends and are far less likely to trample all over them if it means securing said quality man, that the main reason the <20% of women I referenced above do not make a habit of mate poaching or fighting is derived mainly because of their higher standards in men. The vast majority of men, to them, aren’t worth fighting over.
It always makes me chuckle when you may hear a woman bemoan that all (or most) of her female friends have a boyfriend, and life just isn’t fair that she can’t locate one. The better question to put to any of these women looking for self-sympathy would be, hand to heart, does she honestly hold strong desires to be with any of her friend’s boyfriends should her friend not be dating him? I doubt any of these men would be good enough for her.
Every woman has a price that will break her principles and loyalties. It’s only the level of price that distinguishes each woman.