Saturday 25 June 2016

Brexit will impact on British women

“For things to remain the same, things will have to change.”
(Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa, The Leopard)

As a person who studies economics, human social psychology, and women’s emotional behaviour, the Brexit vote has certainly made me analyze how the three factors will entwine.  Like a lot of short-sighted decisions people make in their life, often based on nothing more than a following mentality due to not having a mind of their own, the ramification will be short term pain before any long term gain.  The long term gain is not a guarantee, and it could prove to be the most foolish, na├»ve and regrettable choice many people will ever make.  As I often say - be careful what you wish for.

When I woke up on Friday morning and heard the result, it did come against the predicted outcome based on the expert opinions from the week that led up to voting day.  Then again, it didn’t come as a huge surprise to me due to being a British citizen who travels the length and breadth of the country and witnesses many people who live here.  There is a clear antagonism towards non-English speaking/foreign accented residents who have become customary in our everyday existence.  Since the last recession that commenced in 2008, a lower social class of person is now more prominent.  It’s no coincidence that tabloid newspapers far out sell business equivalents, therefore the average UK citizen isn’t going to be aware of how leaving the European Union will economically impact on their nation, yet this doesn’t stop them naively believing that being outside the EU will easily and significantly reduce future immigration. 

So ultimately you have a large proportion of British people lacking any true implicational knowledge, who blame the EU for the predicament we are in.  They don’t have the peripheral vision to see how it will negatively impact on them if departing.  I have never claimed to be the most patriotic person in the world, but yesterday made me feel even more ashamed of being British than ever before.  In truth, many people based their vote on a plausibly denied racist mentality.  I certainly don’t want to be part of that group.  At the end of the day, whether I die tomorrow, next month, next year, or in a few years’ time, I will have paid far more in taxes to this country than it will ever give me back in return, so not a tear in my eye is produced from such a mindset.

By the end of yesterday, I was 10% worse off than before waking up.  It was the weakest pound sterling in 30 years.  At one stage there was £140 billion wiped off the stock market, although a fraction was pulled back.  We have the terrifying prospect of Boris Johnson being our next Prime Minister.  Expect house prices to decrease by at least 15% over the next 5 years.  What has been a candidate employment market over the last couple of years will soon put the power back in the employer’s hands.  Don’t expect any big pay rises in the near future on the back of this.  Higher unemployment will follow, as fewer countries find it attractive to trade with, set up shop in, or import goods from the United Kingdom.  As for vacations, don’t cry when flights and accommodation now cost more than before, and the exchange return from your hard earned pound brings less.  For anyone who voted “leave”, your inspirational tick in that box produced all this, so I’ll not be pissing on your house fire any time soon.

And of many of the people who did vote to leave, there will have been a high number who it also will not affect.  Retired, or soon to be retired, people will still get their monthly retirement pay, and they need to worry little about what the future brings.  They can solely base their justification on trying to reduce immigration and benefits exhaustion, with next to no concern on how generations to come will suffer.  When their grandchildren and children cannot find a job in years to come, or they are taking on basic minimum wage, will these older people be ignorant and oblivious to their decision of a decade ago?  I would expect so, as they proudly sit on a beach, immune from any self-blame, in watching the world go by.   

How will it impact on women’s mate choices?

When I published this post back in 2014, it basically outlined how women’s male partner decisions had been impacted due to the economic downturn of that period.  I’m not at all saying this will have as huge an impact, but I could be wrong.  Britain is still the 6th (was 5th, but Brexit put paid to that) biggest global economy if seen upon as a single nation, and it could go beyond just British female choices in men.

Because in an economic climate that involves high unemployment, low wage growth, higher mortgage rates, difficulty for first time house buyers stepping onto the property ladder, and reduced disposable income, women reluctantly are forced to seek out giving, passive, providing and (usually as the consequence) unchallenging and boring men. 

There has, from my observations, been a slight increase in attractive women seen out and about over the last year, and I think the single most important factor to this sharp eyed viewing is because for the first time in nearly half a dozen years, women – due to an improved economic climate – have been able to walk on their own two feet in terms of employment and residence purchasing.  When this positive move in finances is available, women are less necessitated in having to settle for men they are not sexually into.  So when women are trying to impress more sought after men, in respect to both male good looks and overall partner desirability, they will strive harder to look good aesthetically.  There will always be far more pretty women than desirable men, so the end product due to fierce competition is for women to maximize their main selling point – hence their beauty. 

But Brexit will conceivably put, at the very least, the brakes on this dynamic.  If women go back to struggling on financial levels, and let’s not forget that the vast majority of women are hardly high flyers in career terms, then they may just be involuntary inclined to settle for the provisioning man once more.  This may take a year or so to kick in, but rest assured that it will do so.  Once again, nobody is the winner out of this sad day.

The word “leave” has been mentioned more recently than a bored woman thinking about it with the husband she never loved.  I know there are a lot of readers of this blog from around the world, therefore for what it’s worth I apologize on behalf of not so Great Britain.  If a half-decent opportunity came about to leave myself, I’d be on the next plane.

Wednesday 22 June 2016

Paper Towns: A lesson for young men

“No regrets, just lessons learnt.”

Hardly anything in life emotionally moves me these days.  Any negative interface with women, friends, foes, family or work colleagues, that may have previously perhaps given me frustration or anxiety, is now nothing more than a mere inconvenience or hassle that I could do without, but consequently a decision to just rub the water off my back.

Nevertheless, during a recent visit to Istanbul I saw first-hand the pronounced numbers of Syrian (or war torn exiles from other countries) refugees trying to simply make it to the next day.  A lot can be debated about the whole subject of immigration and asylum seeking – and the ramifications it has on the resources, crime and expenditure within the “accepting” civilian country, but it takes a pretty cold-hearted onlooker to be inflicted with zero sympathy towards kids no older than a few years in age walking around with no shoes on, no parent or adult guidance, and, most relevant, very little hope of what life will bring concurrent to the pain in their stomachs growing stronger by the minute.  During the last couple of days I passed on a few Turkish liras that made little difference to my life but a significant amount to them, but on one occasion it was a decision I immediately (although not retrospectively) regretted once being followed around by them asking for more until they could pursue no further as I entered the underground barriers.

Where’s all this going, you may ask?  Well on the flight back I decided to look at the film offerings.  I came across a film I had never heard of called “Paper Towns”, and the synopsis alluded to a high school boy trying to locate his childhood sweetheart.  With my interest in how horribly wrong men act with women, I thought it would be at least worth 80 minutes or so of entertainment.  It proved to be so.

The movie itself, in my opinion, is not something that will leave you craving to watch it again or passing on blockbuster recommendations to your peers to go and view it.  If you hold desires to watch it without knowing the plot, stop reading now. 

There are two key characters being Quentin (the geeky, average looking 18 year old boy) and Margo (the popular, cuteish, biker looking 18 year old girl).  The storyline in terms of timeframe was predominantly based around the last few weeks of high school up to prom and graduation, but there was enough history given to explain how Quentin had been infatuated by his street neighbour Margo for pretty much 13 years of his life.

Margo, as the character in the film, annoyed me from the start.  I think this was all the more compounded due to the quick transition from witnessing poverty to observing the perennial spoilt, self-indulged, attention-seeking, self-obsessed American female brat.  She had barely noticed Quentin’s existence for a sustained period of time due to hanging around the social proof group and dating the high school jock, yet one night towards the end of the academic year she creeps though his bedroom window.  She asked him to assist her in gaining revenge on her jock boyfriend who had, in her claims, been cheating on her with her best friend.

Her high self-opinion and expectancy brought about it as a given that Quentin would play the Clyde role to her Bonnie needs in seeking this retribution that involved high risk ramifications if caught.  Quentin, being the shy, reserved, risk-free and safe (and of course, to her, completely boring) type, at first showed reservation, but with tongue out, balls heavy to explode with teenage horny fat juice, and gullible assumption his assistance would make her like him more, he quickly agreed to go along with it.

How many times, as a now adult and mature man, do you look back at the exertions you made as a teenage boy or early 20’s lost sheep in believing your efforts of money, time, energy and favours given to the one you “loved” would bring about her eventual return of affection?  How many times did it reap any significant reward?  Then recall how this same girl or woman gave her heart, and more, to the guys who gave her nothing.  Finally, if you could have that time over again, how would you act now?

After prank night, Quentin went to bed sporting a smile wider than the M25 circular in probable hope the next day she would run up to him and smack one on his lips.  The following day, Margo had gone, and gone she was for the days and weeks that followed.  To her parent’s admission, she had performed this vanishing act before, and she did it for nothing more than fulfilling exhibitionist motivation.  Quentin naively convinced he could be the one to save her, and he spent endless money and time in searching for clues to where she may be.  Hence the title of the film, he eventually tracked her down in a “Paper Town” after driving 1300 miles from Orlando to New York. 

Was she excited to see him?  No.  Was she appreciative of his endeavours?  No.  Was she impressed with the inspector role he performed to work out the clues?  No, and in fact in her words the clues were not left primarily for him to locate anyway.  Was she excited when he declared his undying love towards her?  Absolutely not, to the point where her face illustrated the anticipation of a woman dreading the words that she whole-heartedly expected.  As men, we’ve all been there at least once in our life – dangled in by her obsession to feel wanted, special, or to get another guy jealous, only for her to likely have a pre-conceived justification at the ready to why she doesn’t feel the same way.  

But if nearly 99% of the film could have led a man into the head first path of misguidance – in propaganda that this is the way a man in love should act – I have to give credit where credit’s due to the writers and directors in so far to how they wrapped it up.  Rather than my explanation, I leave you with the quote given by Quentin:

“What a treacherous thing it is to believe that a person is more than a person.  Margo was not a miracle.  She was not an adventure.  She was not some fine and precious thing.  She was just a girl.  It took me a long time to realize how wrong I was, but not just about Margo.  I was wrong about a lot of things.”

A final thought  

I often ask myself how different I would have acted around women, like Margo in the movie, if I obtained this kind of blog guidance from the manosphere when I was an innocent 18 year old boy trying to figure out how complex women are.  My honest answer is, I don’t completely know.  Part of me thinks I would have made initial mistakes in exactly the same way, but a bigger part of me believes this literature and advice from older and experienced men, who are open to putting their hands up to past shortcomings and not just obsessed with taking victory laps from triumphs, would have allowed me to put the wrongs right much earlier in my life than I did.

I didn’t have a dad, god bless his soul, who could guide me in this way.  In fairness, he didn’t have the vast experience with many women either to lean on even if he had been open to talking about it.  As I’ve documented before, asking women, even your own mother or older sister, is a complete waste of time, and in fact it would bring about more detriment and head-scratching to you than asking nothing at all.  They wouldn’t tell you the truth ahead of vainly concealing the mistakes they had made in the past.  The vast majority of men, including men in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s are beta males – clueless, too forgiving, too admiring and unwilling to accept the truth, when it derives to female habits - therefore asking them to not be afraid in pulling up women for their lies, manipulations, motives and agendas is next to worthless.

This is why, in my humble opinion, any teenage boy should read posts of this nature and realize that they are objective, truthful, hard-hitting, realistic and honest views based from life experience he, as the younger man finding his way, does not yet have under his belt.  In a way, young men of today hold the key to a better future generally with women in benefitting generations of men to come.     


Paper Towns (2015) - 20th Century Fox 

Friday 17 June 2016

Women going from delight to disaster

“Life is about happiness, fun, and memories.  But at times, the foot has to be taken off this pedal if you desire for it to last more than a passing moment.”

In this post I referenced a very rare stunning looking woman that was to be seen in my home city.  Don’t get me wrong, there are more than a few women who catch my eye here, and in truth the last year has perhaps shown a slight increase in number, but it certainly isn’t a Madrid, Athens, Rome, New York or Sydney. In fact even towns or cities in most other countries with similar populations (approx. 250k) will have a considerable higher percentage of female glamour, but Britain as a whole falls a reasonable margin under the average yardstick in this respect.

This woman looked about 28, she possessed a pretty much faultless curvaceous body, and she was effortlessly pretty with long, blonde hair.  She had natural tidy nails, and even an engaging personality it seemed in the brief moments of what is now a cloudier recollection for reasons that will be explained.

A year ago I recall her being with a younger guy who looked about 24.  He was decent looking, clearly above average, but by no means on a level to compete with the best looking men.  She was surrounded by his friends – all typical run of the mill guys (in fact in relativity he was the stand out male of the group) – and I remember thinking that the way she was lapping up the attention signaled poor long term girlfriend material.  Still, great lay I would expect.

Then came a night out this year in early March – less than a year from the last time I had seen her.  In truth, I wasn’t having the best night ever, and by 1am I’d just about drank as much as I could stomach and seen every indifferent or unattractive looking woman out possible.  This blonde haired woman started to give me bed eyes, and came real close to kiss me before backing away.  Any guesses who it was?

She then seemed to try and get me to talk to her older friend who was sitting on a stool looking a touch bored.  This friend was clearly in the mood to talk to me, something that the feeling wasn’t mutual on my part, but I did the usual polite thing and at least listen to her uninspiring and somewhat bitter topics of conversation. Every now and again, the blonde woman would come back up to me in the repeat tease and back off maneuver, but then go on to kiss some other guy.

The other guy looked like her boyfriend from a year ago.  I couldn’t be sure, and he did look a bit more attractive than 12 months previous, but I’d confidently go on this basis.  The crowd she was gathered with consisted of a couple of local social proof guys – nothing to write home about, but just city centre hairdressers who may know, or be known by, more than the average person.  

It was only with squinted eyes and a good memory that allowed me to draw conclusions it was the stunning blonde from a year ago.  The body was still in tip-top shape, no question there, but I couldn’t believe how much older she looked facially.  With no exaggeration, she looked in her mid-30’s.  The pedicured organic nails had been replaced with oversized fake efforts.  An extra layer or two of make-up was pronounced to hide the wrinkles.  How could a woman age by 7 years in the space of less than 12 months?  Although the body was more forgiving to a change of lifestyle, the face was almost one belonging to her older sister.  She’d gone from 8.75/10 to 7.5/10 in a short space of time.   

She aged badly because it was the typical female scenario of trying to chase the social validation and popularity circle.  Too many nights out, too many late arrivals, a lack of sleep, stress formed from trying to keep up with the goings on and whether her life is as entertaining as the bullshit documented by others, and likely overuse of alcohol, cigarettes, cannabis and cocaine.  This would all be in conjunction with trying to hold down a regular job – and the early starts and long days that are accustomed to the most mundane occupation, let alone something more high-flying.  This lifestyle wouldn’t be advocated to even the most youthful 19 year old woman, so for a late 20’s chick who will find it hard enough to fight off the rapid ageing process that mother time doesn’t forgive once 30 approaches, bad move.

I saw her out again a couple of months later.  This time it was almost tear in your eye stuff, born through amalgamated laughter and slight sympathy.  She was walking around the bar on her own, drunk, stoned, and haggered looking.  There was no boyfriend to be seen, but she had that look of a stalking woman hoping to catch him out.  My guess, without proof, is whilst his value has increased in view of female projection onto him, he has seen his once stunning older girlfriend turn into someone he no longer desires to nail.  The natural course of events, for him, has caught up.  He now craves, and can obtain, a younger and hotter woman.  She could have taken a leaf out of his book and also abided by the book of logic.  That is, a 28 year old woman should have avoided any need of chasing the social proof, and placed maximum emphasis and priority on locating an older, less popular, but more ready-made man for a family life future partner.  I’d be extremely surprised if she doesn’t, deep down in her honest veins, aspire for this eventual existence.     

Ladies, my advice would be to think long and hard about these dynamics.  There’s no happy ending in real life if poor choices are made.  It may well make you feel better about your life in belonging to a popular group, creating drama, coming across as superior to your so called friends, or looking so special because a couple of apparent bad boys are interested in you, but over time you will regret it.  When you see friends years down the line who didn’t chase this life, yet they are the ones alongside much higher quality male partners, you might be prudent in taking a few seconds to wonder why.   

When a woman searches for a man more than 3 years younger than her, you can be sure the motivation is born out of her youth, and not his youth.  Simply put, it means far more to her to believe she is special because a younger man finds her attractive, than the intrinsic attraction she has for him.  

Monday 6 June 2016

75% of women prefer fatter men

“What we look at is what we want, but what we want isn’t always what we go for.”

Fair enough, the research devised for this article was taken from twenty months ago, but I think it’s safe to say that nothing drastically has changed in the time from then and now.

If ever proof was needed to back up numerous claims on this blog towards women choosing to “date down” in physical attractiveness when male selectivity is at their disposal (and let’s remember that women do the lion’s share of choosing up until the age of 35 to 40), take a look at the below snapshot or read the whole thing:

Three in four British women would choose a man with love handles over one sporting a six-pack.
That's 23 million of us who find muscular men a turn off; 96% predict a date with an abs-obsessed bloke to be positively dreary.
These stats are the result of a study commissioned to mark the DVD release of Bad Neighbours, a film featuring numerous shirtless scenes of actors Seth Rogen (in the flab corner) and Zac Effron (in the abs).

Unfortunately it didn’t document the numbers of women the question was put to, but you would like to think it was more than a few in order for any credibility to be ascertained.  More importantly, it would have been based on anonymous identity, and this is the only way to get predominant truth out of women who otherwise would give false answers to hold down their integrity in respect to how they would act out their words in real life.  As we all know when it comes to emotional subjects, especially involving preferences in the opposite sex, their words are different to their actions.

In fact, even a small number of anonymous female delegates would tell fibs to an extent, in a way to convince themselves they are not insecure, lacking in confidence, or self-conscious.  With this in mind, I’d estimate an extra 10% or so of this fib factor added on to the findings.  This would mean 8 to 9 out of 10 women prefer flabbier men for long term compatibility than men with admirable bodies.  If I go back to the beginning of this blog over 2 ½ years ago, this figure of 80% to 90% was always subscribed to.  Open your eyes, look around, judge honestly, and you will usually be right.

There are some qualifications I would put to these findings, and the general dynamic of women deciding to date down in physical attractiveness:

  • The research was taken from a British female perspective only.  From my experience of travelling the world, British women are less confident and more insecure than their peers residing in other countries.  On this basis, it would be the natural inclination and ego comforting based decision to opt for a flabbier man over a man with a good body.
  • Britain has a lower percentage of cute and hot women, and the mean physical attractiveness grading would be lower than most overseas equivalents.  If women are already, in the main, uninspiring looking themselves, the default tendency would be to go for fatter (hence uglier) men.
  • In comparison to the above points, women in countries where there is a higher percentage of good-looking women – such as Italy, Spain, Portugal, Australia etc – will not find it as internally disturbing and uncomfortable to date a ripped man for long term prospects.
  • Although not as noticeable as the female analysis, Britain also has a lower percentage of physically attractive men against most other countries.  When gifted looking men with tight bodies are more prominent, more women are prone to date these men.
  • Without proof, there is a strong possibility that the vast majority of interviewees were women aged above 23.  This would skew the answers towards male flab preference over male toned choice.
  • If only women aged 23 or younger were picked out, the 3 out of 4 preference for flab over abs would be more like a 50/50 split.
  • Women, in general and universal terms, in an ideal world would sleep with a bodily profiled man concurrent to being seen out with, and having the provisioning facilities of, a less visually alluring man.
  • All the above points are relevant to the “everyday people” situation we live in.  If a man who attained a good body was famous, or he even possessed high local social status and wealth, 3 out of 4 British women would choose him over a run of the mill man with a few extra wobbly layers of blubber. 
  • Women would more likely date a facially average looking man with broad shoulders, washboard abdominal muscles and firm pectorals, than a facially good-looking man sporting the same body features.

It’s strange, because from what I read gym membership is at its highest rate ever for men, and male aspiration is now stronger led by looking good than earning good – at least in comparison to generations gone by.  If this theory is correct, what you find in the modern day is more men trying to look good during a simultaneous timeframe where women have never been so self-conscious of their own bodies, and as a consequence they are choosing flabbier men over profiled or muscled men.

However, what you need to bear in mind is the average man in a gym/health club is not exactly Enrique Iglesias.  He is usually the man just looking to get rid of few pounds so he can justify consuming some beers and a take-away meal at the weekend.  Not many women are going to be intimidated by that kind of guy.  Also, there is now the year on year middle aged divorced or separated man trying to make up for lost time, and in turn striving to impress younger women by looking fitter than he did in married life.  Again, few women will see him as the stereotypical gym sculpture.  Further still, people are living longer and staying healthier, so the high numbers of gym membership as a whole are contributed marginally by this older and retired demographic.  This leaves a reasonable proportion, but by no means a majority, of gym members who an innocent bystander might think represent a male gym poser.  This is by no means the case.      

Nevertheless, this article shouldn’t allow any man to think he can let himself go and expect women to flock to his feet due to the ego thrill and emotionally securing feeling he will offer them due to his love handles and belly fat.  Women still have concerns to how the outside public (and their army of Facebook “friends”) view them, and a man carrying too much weight damages this externally validating reputation.  This is why, if you hold desires to be a lapdog and lead your life by only what a woman wants, you should stay within that 10% to 15% strike zone.  That is, be this percentage margin below her in the looks stakes.

Why do I not follow this advice, you may ask?  Well first, pure and simply I refuse to be a lapdog accustomed to most current day men’s characters in the face of women.  Second, to lead your life by what she wants doesn’t make you a man who is his own man.  What kind of man does this make you if you choose to be dragged by a lead attached to her hand?  Third, and as highlighted in the fifth and sixth bullet points above, women preferring less physically attractive men tend to mainly be women who are past their own best looking days, yet creeping up (if not already there) to their most demanding days in materialism and residence status requirements.  As I’ve said before, I refuse to pay the highest market cost for something that has already reached price saturation.  

Acknowledgements and further reading

Thursday 2 June 2016

Alpha or Beta: Who does she want?

“A great man is not always and only someone who portrays his own greatness. 
A great man will, with his greatness within him, elevate others to new heights that couldn’t be reached without him alongside.”

I went for out for a few drinks the other night in Derby city centre during the bank holiday Sunday.  My lone company was one of my best friends, most certainly once my best friend prior to opposing paths taken in life, and the only person I have been assigned to be best man for during his route to become a husband.

My friend referenced is a couple of years older than me, and he is married to a woman four years his senior.  They have two young girls to who he would die for.  His wife is easy to get on with, her heart is certainly in the right place, but she is a bit of a keep up with the Jones kind of woman – very materialistic and status conscious.  I still think to this day she contrived the first pregnancy only a few months after they’d been dating and her 30th birthday had struck.  Nevertheless, of all the couples I know or have seen together, they do seem at the top end of genuine happiness.  So I guess it all worked out in the end.

My buddy is not a great looker, although by no means completely unattractive in a physical sense.  His skinny frame and 5ft 8” stature offer him no presence, and he doesn’t exactly walk with a swagger to compensate for these deficiencies.  Receding hair and pale skin tone are now accompanied by decent teeth after a two grand makeover (something his wife put him up to), and he has a reasonable style that shows he’s not short of a bob or two.  In fact, running his own I.T business will bring in, reading between the lines, a six figure salary.  Not bad when you consider he’ll never pay more than 15% tax.  I earn quite a bit less and pay a taxable proportion at 40%, but I’d tend to think I have more disposable income at my luxury.  But on physical attractiveness alone, he is a mere 6.5/10.  For only the purpose of this post, I have a summer look of 8.5/10 equivalence.      

In the second bar ventured in, a not bad/nearly cuteish looking woman tapped me on the shoulder and opened with, “It’s dare time…. Are you English?” The three of us had a bit of a laugh about it, and I mentioned how rare it was for a woman to be proactive and show a level of confidence.  Whilst clearly drunk, she did have an air of natural likeability and articulate conversational ability – again, something foreign to most self-conscious, insecure, ego-driven and fake exterior self-importance driven women.

The early signs were all transparent towards her attraction onto me.  It was the usual 80% to 90% eye contact with the guy she wasn’t attracted to (hence total comfort and no nerves),and looking only at me (due to discomfort and nervousness on her part) on briefer occasions.  She then asked whether we had girlfriends.  My friend chose to immediately say I was single (despite him knowing I wasn’t,) – most likely in knowledge of her interest in me and my love of women - and that he was married with two little girls.  She asked if I had any children, to which I blatantly told her not.  At this point, he went to take a piss and pitifully winked at us both when walking off.  This gave her the opportunity to touch me more than required (not that I was against it), but we did mention why he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring.  I couldn’t help but sense a level of attraction from her towards his marital and fatherhood label. 

When he came back, the talking point went onto where we lived.  She told us her residence was Willington – a fairly family orientated and affluent area.  My pal, in nothing more than total innocent and common ground fashion, stated how he lived not far from there in Rolleston-on-Dove – a couple of levels above her village in wealth status.  She then asked me, to which I gave her the absolute honest answer.  She tried to hide it as best possible, but disappointment was written all over her face.  For what it’s worth, if I put all my assets and mortgage lending facility together, I could live where both of them resided if I was that way of a sucker inclined.  I then smirked but seriously said to her, “I’ve always been the kind of man who goes for women who love me for who I am, and not what I am.”  Again, the words from her mouth agreed, but her body language showed how the comment hit a little bit too close to home.

The woman then started to proudly show us pictures of her 16 year old daughter.  It never fails to amaze me how deluded, oblivious and ignorant some women can be in thinking this will elevate a man’s attraction onto them.  Ladies, get this: all else equal, men are detracted to women who parent children from previous endeavours, unlike how the female mind is attracted to men with fatherhood profile created from sexual intercourse with female ghosts from their past or (even more so) present partners.

However, what this revelation allowed us to ascertain was her age.  Although she never actually announced it, she was somewhere between 35 to 37.  In fairness, she did look reasonable for her age, but it only takes a few glances of young chicks 10 to 15 years her junior to realize why any man with options wouldn’t spend more than a few breaths of air on her.  Or perhaps one night to relinquish easy needs.      

This is the chain of events to conclude the above, with some added extras:

  • Older (in relativity to the average female age of approximately 23 on a night out) woman being instinctively attracted to the best looking men.
  • Older woman being more likely to approach a hot guy than her younger, hotter female peers.  The reasons for this?  First, they have more belief in their personalities to hold a conversation.  Second, they don’t have the huge egos (due to not having as much beta male attention), fear of being rejected, or feeling of inferiority when put against the hottest men.  Third, they have learnt from life experience that the decisions to choose safe men are now a decision forming regret.
  • Older woman with a child nearing adult stage is more likely to put her heart (at least at first) ahead of her financial, egoism and future needs.  If the child was 10 years younger, less emphasis on sexual hunger and far more priority on a meal ticket are the ramifications.
  • Women above the age of 23 will start to find male physical attractiveness less attractive as time passes (even within a small timeframe of minutes) if other male desirability criteria such as occupation, status, wealth, residence and pre-selection are exploited by other options.  Even attitude and charisma will be hard to stack up against the aforementioned non-visual factors.
  • Women below of 23 or younger will place maximum emphasis on social status, secondary preference onto how the relevant guy will place her standing on planet earth, and then male physical attractiveness.  Outside of posh girls, there aren’t a high percentage of women in this age bracket who are too bothered about a man’s job or money.
  • Women of all age will put their own welfare ahead of the feelings of any man, or the implications that impact on him derived from their innate or evolved female mindset decisions.
  • A decent percentage of women, and in my opinion this percentage increases year on year, will even largely put their own welfare ahead of the child they have birthed.  Social media plays a large part to this self-obsessed driven detriment.

The final part of the three-way conversation came when she asked the two of us our respective age.  We asked her to guess.  Despite everything said about my mate’s physical shortcomings, he does look a good half dozen years younger than the birth certificate stamp.  She chose to say he looked only 2 years younger than his actual age.  Knowing that she would look totally deluded by saying I looked the same age, she chose to say I was an age that was 5 years older than most people think I look.  Compare this to a couple of weeks earlier when I was out with another friend and we were talking to some early 20’s girlies – who said I looked 7 years younger than the age stated by the older woman in this anecdote. 

Q-tip 1:
A good amount of women won’t say a guy looks the age she thinks he looks.  She will compare him with her own age, and bring it to suit her ego and agenda.  This tactic is most prominent with women in their 30’s.  Nevertheless, some younger women who are attracted to older men may go the other extreme, in saying these men look younger than they actually do.

Before we left the bar, my friend asked me if I was going to get her number.  I said to him if she asks for mine or she offers me hers I would do so, but I wasn’t doing any instigating.  When we went to the next bar he was quite perplexed, asking me how I couldn’t pursue someone with such a great personality.  I told him she didn’t physically grab me by the gut, and that I’d have no intention of contacting her the next day.  He, in a way married men getting monthly sex are prone to react, questioned what I was actually after.  I told him, in no uncertain but only honest terms, that it is all about levels.  Over the last year, I have been involved with women ranging from 7.5/10 to 8.5/10.  I have received numerous interest from others who sit in a similar looks bracket, and even the occasional stunner who surpassed.  This woman was 6.75/10, and it was on a night looking her best.  This oversight of her in comparison to his admirations isn’t arrogance, but just sheer reality.

Q-tip 2:
Most men, like my friend, cannot get their heads around another man stating words that lead to explanation he is more physically admirable than anything more than a half-decent looking woman.  This is exactly the case with him.  He questions (without saying it) that because she has a reasonable face and body, with a moist hole between her legs, how can a man possibly think he is superior.  The fact is this attitude of mine isn’t harsh, arrogant, cocky or dismissive.  It is simple reality.  And this reality helps you with the necessary interaction strategy when approaching or interacting with a woman, because whether we like it or not, a woman’s first thought is how she matches up against the relevant man in aesthetic terms.  Her receptiveness is most usually aligned to this self-thought comparison process.

But I have to admit that this night did leave me wondering what women in her position truthfully expect they can attain.  Here you have a mid to late 30’s woman more than a decade past her physical beauty peak, with baggage to suit, thinking she could possibly get with a younger man looking nearly a couple of grades above her in looks alone.  If that didn’t work out, she probably thinks there is always the fall back of the lesser looking wealthy guy who can treat her like a princess and give her an easy life.  Is this total obliviousness, or is it just living in vain hope?