Tuesday 30 March 2021

Women dissing better men than the men they are with

Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 

"The world is a great place and worth fighting for."  I agree with the second part.

(William Somerset: Se7en, 1995)


A reader asks a question on the back of this previous post.  It is a question that could be seen as a very strange concept in life, but with life experience and knowledge of how women psychologically work, there is an easy explanation:

 Hey vinny, I get this alot from women. I am well built from home workouts so I get quite the looks in public. I would rate myself a solid 8 on the rise.

My question is when a woman is with her bf or husband and she makes a joke or nag on my appearance what would this mean ? This happened at the park today and the guy she was with was average from an honest opinion.
If she is so into him why would she even mention me in any kind of way joking or not, is there something going on in her subconscious mind about me?

My response:

As has been mentioned what seems like a thousand times on this blog, all else equal (and often all else not even equal) in vast majority (90%) cases a woman will opt for a less physically attractive man as a partner than her own physical attractiveness assessment.  This gap – of how much less physically attractive a man she desires to be with - is typically 10% to 15%, but it can often be higher than this disparity range.

As has also been mentioned 999 times on this blog, it is important to emphasize said woman is selecting this less attractive man to make herself feel better about life based on his comparative lesser physical allure.  It is an ego-based motivation.  In addition, women know that the bigger the gap a man is below her physical attractiveness, the more he will appreciate her.  The more he appreciates her, the more he exerts and spends on her.  This act on behalf of men is counter-productive in winning a woman’s heart and keeping her interested, but it does stroke her ego to the point where she feels better about life and herself.  She just doesn’t feel better about being with him.

For further clarity then, a woman is picking out a lesser looking man to fulfil her self-importance in life, massage her ego, and provide herself with the most materialistic life possible.  Genuine love and positive sex – and the fulfilment she can attain in being with a man who will provide this for her – are most certainly secondary to the primary aforementioned motivations. 

An additional couple of points to the above, in terms of why women are often found with lesser looking men, are:

1) At a younger age (in particular pre 30), women on a wholesale basis are more physically attractive than men in gender relative terms.  Therefore, even in the unlikely and minority event where a woman would entertain, or even proact, in being with a man as or more physically pleasing to the eye than her, the sheer numbers alone usually enforce her to be with a lesser looking man.

2) Women don't take kindly to being single for very long.  Even career girls, girl group hungry women, or social media whores eventually prefer to be validated in proof of girlfriend status.  With this in mind, a woman will settle for a lesser looking man, even when she is not that into him, in order to show the world that somebody loves her.

Why did she diss you?

Now the parameters have been set out, onto the meat in your question.  I can relate to what you experienced, as it has happened on dozens of occasions to me too. 

The first point of call is to know what is going on in that little subconscious, and sometimes conscious, mind of hers.  Deep down she knows, again perhaps more subconscious (or at least refusing to openly accept it) than conscious, that the reason she picks out mediocre looking men as like the man you described is because of the reasons I illustrated above.  You didn’t mention her physical attractiveness level, but reading between the lines she is above him in a more than pronounced upward leverage. 

Because deep down she knows why she has picked out this man in a settling (not to be confused with settling down) mentality capacity, there will always be a degree of resentment on her part that is not only projected onto him, but also onto herself.  This resentment can be mitigated to an extent if the lesser looking man has high status (social or professional) and wealth, however even then she will always be wondering what it would be like in being with a more aesthetically gifted man.  When you see movies where the underlying plot is based around an extremely attractive woman sitting by the mansion poolside whilst her rich (but uninspiring looking) husband is at work, and she is fantasizing and carrying out acts of infidelity with a hot man, rest assured that the far-fetched storyline that may exist elsewhere in the film has most definitely replicated what goes on in any other woman’s mind in this respect.

This resentment and jealousy of your significant better physical looks, in comparison to her male partner, uncontrollably acts as a way for her to try and ease and counteract this negative feeling she experiences for those few seconds (or longer if it was a meeting of another kind).  Her piss taking of you is not a product of genuine and natural verbal execution, but simply a way to try and make her feel better about herself once more.  In that moment, she is thinking of the words “jerk”, “playa”, “crap boyfriend material”, “cheater”, “poser”, “a man who takes longer in the mirror than her”, or “a man who has nothing more than his good looks”.  For a few seconds if nothing else, she has convinced her mind that she is better off with the man alongside her.  

Of course, any man who knows how women work will know why she acted this way, and in your case you should take this as the biggest back-handed compliment around. 


In a woman’s mind, the opposite of love is not hate.  The opposite of love is when she feels totally indifferent towards a man to the point where he may as well be invisible.  If you can’t be loved by a woman, it is no bad thing at all to be hated by her. 

Hopefully, this explains the reason why she was negative towards you.  When women stop looking at you – whether in admiration or hostility – and refrain from dissing you in the way you documented, this is the day when you are no longer attractive to women in the way you once were.  It is a similar dynamic to the way a woman experiences inundated male glances, attention and expenditure when she is 21, and for every year that passes by, the quantity decreases.  By the time she has reached 30 (and 35 even more so), she may as well be a different person who graces the earth.

A final thought – possible comebacks

I know it’s not easy to always have a spur of the moment response when - as women do in a gutless way rather than eye to eye - make these silly comments when walking the opposite way, it’s a self-enriching process to have a few lines to fire back at her:

·       “As long as you feel better about yourself in being with him, sweetheart.”

·       “When you want a real man and better sex, come and see me, babe.”

·       “Sounds like someone has a thing for me!?”

·       “Most women would die to sit on this body.  Wow, you must be different to them.”

·       “I guess you’re a girl who isn’t bothered about men’s looks then?”

All of the above will, whilst not saying it in direct form, allow her to know what you are getting at.  She will know exactly what you infer, and in that moment you have fully negated her sassy and stupid comment.  She will wish she never opened her mouth.

Part of me doesn’t like the comments I offer, as it may well be that the man she is with is just a genuine, honest, likeable and nice guy.  Unfortunately for him, if this is the case, his girlfriend crossed me, so it left me with no choice but to load my gun and shoot back. 

My preferred strategy is when a woman would actually say this sassy comment face to face, and then not run off in cowardice fashion. At that point I would bombard her with discrete but understandable psychology in the form of what I write in this blog.  This scenario has rarely happened to me, as again there aren’t many women who have the guts to do this and hold their ground.  Women are in far greater comfort zone when they don’t put themselves at risk to hear things their prides couldn’t bear to hear.

On the isolated occasions this has happened, as soon as I have given them a mild dose of psychological explanation in alluding to their insecurities (in dissing me or picking a lesser looking man), they have more often than not immediately walked off without response.  You could argue I have cut my nose to spike my face – as it may have been an opportunity for short term sex – but from my experience, the body language in a woman gives it away from the get-go.  

In essence, if she said this comment with a slight smile and awkward demeanour, I’d be much softer with my response in thinking she does quietly want me to take things further.  If the female approach is with fire in her belly, resentment in her face, and hostility towards my existence, I would act out exactly as explained.  There is no way this woman would touch me with a barge pole – at least three weeks in the month anyway!

Thursday 4 March 2021

Paternity Fraud: How common is it?

“There’s a reason a rock doesn’t move far, whilst pebbles scatter like dust.”


This video link comes with a warning.  It’s not for the faint-hearted or romantic types out there.  Even I, as one of the most uncompassionate and unforgiving people out there in this respect, didn’t enjoy watching through to the inevitable ending.  It gives me no pleasure that knowing what goes on in the world tears away at people’s (mainly men’s) hearts.  I’m just willing enough, unlike most, to face up to this truth and reality.

Now there is more than a fair chance this was all scripted in order to spread the message across.  We can but speculate.  It’s also a possibility that the people involved know of or suspect of a woman who has, with proof or otherwise, implemented this paternity fraud strategy to maximise her life opportunity and welfare.  What we cannot say is that is does not occur.  How common it happens, is open to debate with the assistance of cloudy evidence.

In my view, there isn’t a great deal of valid source out there to offer objectivity regarding how many men are victims of this despicable action by women.  Forums are a waste of time looking at, simply because they will belong to extreme opinions and anecdotes.  On the one hand you will have pockets of men (belonging to the tiny minority of male population who are willing to face up to female dark sides and misdemeanours) who will be so misogynistic in this respect that they may allow their objectivity to be superseded by their passion of knowing how hard done by men are in the modern world.  On the other hand, and in far greater numbers, will sit women who will try and justify their actions in situations of such kind, or more likely deny that it happens very often.

I offer a snapshot taken from Wikipedia:

Research published in 2016 indicated that one in 50 British fathers is unknowingly raising a child who is the biological child of another man, and that misattributed paternity is rarer than commonly believed.

A 2005 scientific review of international published studies of paternal discrepancy found a range in incidence, around the world, from 0.8% to 30% (median 3.7%).  However, as many of the studies were conducted between the 1950s and the 1980s, numbers may be unreliable due to the inaccuracies of genetic testing methods and procedures used at the time. Studies ranging in date from 1991 to 1999 quote the following incidence rates: 11.8% (Mexico), 4.0% (Canada), 2.8% (France), 1.4% and 1.6% (UK), and 0.8% (Switzerland). These numbers suggest that the widely quoted and unsubstantiated figure of 10% of non-paternal events is an overestimate. However, in studies that solely looked at couples who obtained paternity testing because paternity was being disputed, there are higher levels: an incidence of 17% to 33% (median of 26.9%). Most at risk were those born to younger parents, to unmarried couples and those of lower socio-economic status, or from certain cultural groups.

A 2008 study in the United Kingdom found that biological fathers were misidentified in 0.2% (1 in 500) of the cases processed by the Child Support Agency. Of that 0.2%, those resolved with DNA paternity testing between 2004 and 2008 showed that between 10 and 19% of mothers had misidentified the biological father; data about why mothers identified the wrong biological father was not available.


I’ve highlighted the critical part simply because, in my interpretation, the rest of it is only relevant to men who have never pursued a paternity test and most likely never suspected or been willing enough to face up to the possibility that they are not the biological father.  With this in mind, the highlighted segment is the only pertinent language due to it illustrating the figures when men insisted on a paternity test, or at least a paternity test was carried out.  No surprises then that when tests are undertaken the higher figure of over one in four men being victim of wrongful fatherhood identity and upbringing.  In some cases, this would be nearer to one in three men.

What do I believe?

As much as I’m a cynical person in this whole field, I have to admit that I didn’t think it would be as high as a 26.9% statistic of men who are bringing up kids who aren’t, in essence, their legal responsibility.  I thought it would be nearer to around 15%.  If my perception is below the actuality, we really do have problems here.

The reason I thought it would be little more than one in ten women who strategically convince one man he is the father concurrent to knowing another man biologically is the father is because I stand by my thoughts documented in the previous post.  In other words, I’m a firmer advocator that a woman is inclined to get pregnant without her male partner’s consent or agreement when the time suits her to have a child.  Maybe I need to rethink this.  It leads one to suspect that many women are not only getting pregnant when it suits them, but they are also playing the “Alpha Fux, Beta Bucks” game simultaneously too.  Have the good genes from the edgier and more aesthetic man, and the provisioning luxury and reliability from the nice guy sucker.


A final thought

For a moment, let’s just say the video is born out of the truth.  I think women need to be exposed in this way, and equally they should be criticized for these respective care-free actions until the cows come home.  We have encountered a western world society over the last generation that appears to be way too forgiving when women make mistakes (or more likely strategic choices) of this nature, yet it has them never or rarely being responsible or accountable when the shit hits the fan so to speak.  Conversely, society seems to willingly and eagerly condemn men for even the slightest wrong move made.  Hypocrisy and convenience strike the middle pin once more.


What the world should be doing, if it has any interest in making it a better place and producing happier relationships for the long term, is broadcasting as loud as possible when women do act out of line.  In addition, it should highlight detrimental consequences they face when doing so.  Until this day consistently happens, women will, with next to no remorse or contrition, continue to believe they can have their cake and eat it.  They will constantly think they can carry out these wrongful acts, in the knowledge there will always be a safety net to catch them when they fall. 


One thing I do know is that, no matter how hot the woman is, no matter how good a potential long-term partner she is, and no matter how much I am in love with her, I would not even contemplate for a single second staying loyal to her if she put the wool over my eyes for all these months or years.  The same applies if I was cheated on.  Unfortunately, there is too great a number of men who would forgive and try to forget.



Every pregnancy should be compulsory to go through a paternity test to confirm the man is the father.  No circumstance should be exempt.  This would soon reduce paternity fraud in a significant manner, and it would finally make women see sense that they cannot play childish games with men’s lives as if it were picking out a pair of shoes they can take back to the store the following week.


Acknowledgements and References