Monday 23 December 2019

2019 unsuccessful outcomes with women

“Don’t waste time on time wasters.”

I’m a great believer that a man learns as much, if not more, from his failures in life in comparison to his triumphs.  In truth, the most successful people in life will usually derive from those who have failed, but who have subsequently triumphed on the back of learning from the failures and mistakes made.  Call it mental or psychological muscle memory, if you like.

I’d also like to think that in comparison to many other writers belonging to the manosphere over the last decade or so, I have come across as someone who hasn’t been afraid to share his failures.  I haven’t seen too many others who share this humble writing execution.  This blog has always been far more about passing on knowledge to good men out there to learn and benefit for the future than it has been about me, therefore if it means exposing my failures, or at least my none triumphant endings, I’ll die a happy man.

And as I’ve documented in the past, often the success is in the attempt rather than the accomplishment.  There are so many mitigating circumstances in all walks of life that stand in the way of an accomplishment, therefore providing someone had the cojones and fortitude to put their balls on the line, knowledgeable that this could lead to failure, hurt of pride, a temporary loss of confidence or swagger, or sometimes public embarrassment, this person certainly gains an abundance more respect from me than another who stands at afar and criticizes when sat on their enthusiastic armchair.  If a man never puts himself out there in the firing line, in playing safe before taking risks, he effectively may as well be and live the life of a woman.

Name Age estimate (or knowledge) Hair Colour Meeting Place Objective Hotness % Weighting of Objective Hotness Sexual turn on (urge to have sex with) % Weighting of Sexual turn on Perceived Girlfriend Material % Weighting of Perceived Girlfriend Material Total Rank
Courtney 23 Blonde Gym 8.75 40% 9 30% 7 30% 8.30 1
Hannah 22 Dark Brunette Gym 7.75 40% 8 30% 8.5 30% 8.05 2
Blonde "Gym Instructor" 24 Blonde Gym 8 40% 8.25 30% 7.75 30% 8.00 3
Maddie 22 Blonde Gym 7.5 40% 8 30% 8.5 30% 7.95 4
Gym Girl ("note on car") 30 Blonde Gym 7.5 40% 7.5 30% 8.25 30% 7.73 5
Next Tamworth Girl 23 Medium Brunette Shop 7.25 40% 7.5 30% 8.5 30% 7.70 6
Brunette Gym Girl "Classes" 27 Dark Brunette Gym 8 40% 8 30% 7 30% 7.70 7
Engaged to be married girl 29 Light Brunette Gym 7 40% 7 30% 9 30% 7.60 8
Ginger Gym Girl 23 Redhead Gym 7 40% 6.75 30% 9 30% 7.53 9
Charlotte (Chav) 31 Blonde Gym 8.25 40% 8.5 30% 4 30% 7.05 10
Molly 24 Dark Brunette Gym 7 40% 6.5 30% 6.5 30% 6.70 11
Hockley Arts Club Girl 27 Dark Brunette Club 7.75 40% 7 30% 5 30% 6.70 11

The above list is based on women who have rejected my advances this year – either directly (a clear “No”) or indirectly (said “Yes” at first but then went AWOL soon after).  The grading and percentage split is obviously by opinion, but I base it on unbiased objectivity than my agenda or wishful thinking.  It most certainly isn’t exhaustive in terms of women approached, but in some cases I just didn’t ask those out (perhaps in some cases believing a better time would arrive days later or I thought they weren't quite right in later reflection).  Also, thank goodness some not on the list did say yes, leading to happier and more treasured memories to reminisce over 2019.

As you can see, it doesn’t read a pretty picture for those who are fearful of rejection but who love what women can bring.  What women bring to my life is predominantly sex, followed by company and an opportunity to do things in life I can’t do (or choose not to do) on my own or with my male buddies.  If ever you think most men who approach women regularly (women they don’t know personally) have a high success rate in leading onto sexual relationships, I can guarantee you they are lying if proclaiming this is the case.  Like a gambler who can’t give up the habit, he only tells you the bets he wins. 

For a bit of explanation, I did not fully know in advance that any of the ladies on this list were otherwise engaged with other men.  I’m a firm advocator to not hit on a woman who you know has a male partner, mainly because there are enough bangable single women out there, but also because once more by seeking out taken women is like acting as a female mind (hence women prefer a man who is taken by another woman, all else equal).

For further explanation, ranked numbers 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11 (Molly) all gave the boyfriend (or in one case fiancĂ©) reason.  All of them had given me significant indicators of interest – hence the undeniable eye contact.  Some made it so obvious that it was almost like I had no choice but to approach.  As stated before, eye contact (hence bed eyes) received from a woman is by no means a reason she will accept your proposition, no matter how tight your game is.

Rank 11 (Club Girl) was one of those that couldn’t stop staring at me in a club, yet once I approached her, she wouldn’t even talk to me.  These pathetic women, and thankfully they don’t exist in huge percentage terms, basically are sexually drawn to the hottest men, but deep down they know (perhaps with the exception of peak fertility window in the month) that there is no way their egos can cope with being alongside him.  Also, they chase validation of their existential importance, and nothing proves this more than the best-looking men approaching them.

Rank 5 gave me more than enough hints to take things further, but I didn’t have any good opportunities to talk to her, so I left a note on her car.  I don’t recommend taking on this process very often, however I kind of thought not only would it box her into an answer, but it also came towards the end of the year after approaching many women.  She never replied.  Once more, numerous glances in my direction were her directives beforehand.  In retrospect, she is clearly a small-town mentality girl who probably plays it much safer than being with a guy like me.

As you will see, 2 and 4 ranked girls were perceived by me as very good girlfriend material, even if a couple of less physically attractive women on this list trumped them on this metric.  Good personality, pleasant, asked me questions about myself, relatively intelligent and sweet natured were some of the traits both possessed.  What perhaps is more gutting is that neither had a boyfriend and both said they would like to meet up in due course.  After I gave number 4 my mobile number, I never heard from her again.  All talk but no action comes to mind.  With 2, I sensed her cooling quite quickly after agreeing to meet up.  Again, I think the fantasy of being with me far outweighed the reality in her mind.  A week later she messaged me stating she was moving to Dubai to work in the airlines industry.  This was true and not just made up.  Nevertheless, I could sense the relief in her words that she could now give a believable reason to not pursue with me.

And finally, number 1

And this nicely leads on to the top ranked woman.  I guess this outcome pains me on two counts.  Not only was she the hottest and most bangable, but when I approached her at the gym I could sense straight away how happy she was that I did so.  Ironically, out of all twelve women on the list, she gave me the least hint to go up to her.  There was no hostility or cold shoulder whatsoever, and she held no hesitation to confirm she was single.  I gave her my number as I didn’t have my phone at the time, and she instigated the messaging by lunch break the same day.

Q-tip 1:
It’s no coincidence that if you are a hot guy of 8 or greater, usually the most positive engagement you will receive from the female population are women bordering on 9 or more.  Most girls who are on your level or lower will not want to be seen with you, especially once they pass the age of 23.

There was a reasonable amount of messaging between us for a week, but as she took ill, we didn’t meet up that weekend.  I did sense her cooling though.  A week later I went on the cross-trainer next to her like the previous week, and her smiles and positivity were much less than before.  Something was clearly going south.

As it turns out, she did give me the (or at least a) honest reason for not venturing on.  She thought I was only three years older than her (she is 23, but I thought she looked 25), and not more than ten years as the birth certificates show.  I have since seen a couple of recent pictures of her, and whilst I fully accept some photographs don’t do people any favours, these particular Christmas party camera shots make her look older than me.  I’ve dated numerous women in excess of ten years my junior, therefore on the face of it you ask why this one wasn’t comfortable with the situation. 

As it happens, she said I was nearer to her Father’s age than her own, and she didn’t feel comfortable with the situation.  Doing the maths, that must mean her Dad is about 43 – meaning he had her when he was 20.  Having seen her Mother, she looks a good few years older than her Dad.  Unless her Mum has aged badly, I’d say she is around 46.

With dynamics of this kind – Mum trying to stay young and clearly having this mentality from a much younger age (women who are fearful of getting older and who need reassurance the leaves aren’t falling off tend to seek out younger men – as she did more than twenty-three years ago) – they will likely turn their nose up at their daughter dating older men.  Ultimately, they will be jealous their daughter can have a life (with a more financially secure man) than she had in struggling on with a younger man who had little money in the pocket. 

Q-tip 2:
Influences and advice - often bad influences and advice – that mothers give their daughters brought out of a mother’s self-agenda projected mindset that outweighs a daughter’s future welfare and present happiness are a disaster waiting to happen that brings about no happy ending for the daughter.  You can only hope, and this needs to be sooner rather than later, that the daughter is strong enough over time to make her own decision, and furthermore see through her evil mother’s self-driven motives.

As it turns out, despite number 1 rank woman holding down endearing personable attributes to give me the early impression that she could be a good girlfriend material, I actually only gave her a 7 grade on this none visual or sexual analysis.  This is because I later found out she is an Instagram whore, and clearly a woman, at least for now, who attains a far greater inclination for self-attention projection and associated "likes" than she does for commitment, loyalty and love for a man.  I wouldn't at all be surprised if she has applied for Love Island on at least one occasion.  With all this in mind and also not excluding the words explained above for girls ranked overall as 2 and 4, the immediate pleasantries a woman gives off does not necessarily mean in contemporary society that she will be a good long term partner.

Have a great Christmas everybody, and all the health and happiness to you and your families.

Sunday 29 September 2019

A movie with an inevitable ending

“If they tell you that you have big shoes to fill, then tell them you have big feet.”

There are certain situations in life that bring about an inevitable outcome.  One scenario could be a person’s disgusted face when a neighbour’s cat craps all over your garden.  Another instance could be your inner desire to vomit when inflicted to the smell of piss when walking down the stairs of a multi-storey car park.  Or perhaps it’s the sight of a full English breakfast the morning after a big night?

In any case, life experience, assisted with possessing a few brain cells and not fearing reality, allows you to expect, if not be surprised, when a circumstance evolves from an apparent happy beginning.  Sometimes it is a simple case of just opening your eyes and not living in a world of fallacy and ideology.  Other times people open the wrapping paper for you, in confirming what you already knew.

This article gives a reader a real-life synopsis of what can happen when a woman dates a man who is significantly boxing above his weight in physical attractiveness terms.  As secondary onlookers (hence not knowing the people involved personally), we can only fill in the blanks of what else went on, and what goes on, within our best estimate outside of a one-page summary.

First, not for a moment am I doubting the woman’s integrity and honesty, nor am I defending this pathetic man.  He’s been jailed for 11 years; therefore he clearly took it up upon himself to use violent abuse on her amongst anything else.  Beating up a woman, in my opinion, is the most despicable and cowardice act (outside of murder and rape) alongside paedophilia.  I don’t care how much a woman provokes you or cheats on you, a man who chooses to use physical aggression on a woman is a complete coward and poor excuse for a human being with testicles.  Yes, woman do provoke and cheat, but a man who is ever is confronted with these moments must take the high road, move on, and be the bigger person.  If a man can’t accept that a woman never grows up, then there’s little benefit in getting seriously involved with her in the first place.

Here’s the once happy couple:

The above picture doesn’t do her much justice in terms of her hotness.  This one does:

Albeit in a WAG way, and in the absence of seeing her whole figure, she is a solid 8.5/10 at the appealing age of 24.  Granted, from my experience women who doll themselves up to this level take a huge dip in natural look (it may well be if you saw her in the morning she is no greater than a 6/10), but as I’ve always said, you can only judge a person’s aesthetic value on what you see there and then.

On the other hand, he is struggling to even tip to 6.25/10 in gender relative terms.  That’s a near 40% leverage (or deleverage in her case) of partner physical attractiveness disparity.  A woman generally seeks out a man who is 10% to 15% less physically attractive than her, and it certainly isn’t alien to see women with men who are 20% less aesthetically gifted, but a 40% drop is rare outside of a man possessing fame and fortune. 

The article does tell us she is a mother of one, and this one fact alone will deter many men, but her hotness level and relative youth mitigates a lot of her parentage baggage. 

We don’t know the facts, but this is my take on the process of events from a general analysis when I see couples of this dynamic.

1)    A woman (especially above 23 years of age) has an ego driven motivation to be with a man less physically attractive than her.  The bigger the gap, the better she feels about herself and believes he will strive harder to please her.
2)    A single parent mother, no matter what her looks level, will have fewer male suitors than her equivalent non parenting status – all else equal.  This knowingly (although not admitting it to others or herself) makes her demands for a “suitable man” that little bit more flexible.
3)    A man in this dynamic, especially in a small town, will feel he has won the lottery in locating a woman of this hotness level to date him.
4)    At first, all is rosy in the garden.  The woman has her head (hence ego) swelled to a size that can barely fit through the door, and the man benefits from the best sex (or at least the best ejaculations) he has ever experienced in his whole life.
5)    As time goes on, resentment on her side strikes first.  Although appreciative of his efforts in the short term, she can’t help but think as each day passes that he is not the best man she could be with.  The smiles on her face dry up, and the good feeling she gained from being with a much lesser looking man diminishes. 
6)    As time goes on, but later than the time as explained in 5), he senses her interest dwindling.  Sex is not as frequent, and her gratitude is not as common. 
7)    As time goes further on, his sense of her growing apathy and disinterest manifests to produce enhanced jealousy and frustration on his part.  The existence of a kid (I can only assume the child is from another man’s seed), will only further compound his anxiety that he is not a priority in her life.
8)    She wants out - but will likely wait until there is a near guarantee of another man to give her boyfriend validation.
9)    He senses she is cheating, and his obsession of her and inner thoughts that he will never secure anyone as sexually attractive again, takes control of his mind to violently abuse her.

I want to reiterate once more that, no matter what happened (and I’d hedge a fair bet I’m not too far off the mark at all), any man who uses violence on a woman should have the book thrown at him and then have the key tossed away.  You could carve a better man out of a carrot.  I doubt she cheated anyway, but even if she did, any man in this position should just walk away and realize she did him a favour.

If a woman ever cheats on you outside of marriage, comprehend that she actually did you a big favour.  This may seem illogical and bizarre when your heart is shaking like a volcano and the nausea feeling won’t leave, but ultimately she has given you a crash course in finding out what she is really like.  You could have spent months, if not years more of your life, before finding her true colours for the woman she truly is.

For the record, I have never knowingly been the victim of infidelity, but I can’t say in practice this was the case for sure. What I do know is that I have been with more than a few women who were looking for, and contriving a strategy for, their next boyfriend whilst still with me.

A final thought

The article states that the man confessed to cheating on the woman on the same night as the torture started.  This is the part that doesn’t add up to me.  If a man has been cheating on a woman for a sustained period, I very much doubt that once confronted by his girlfriend regarding this adultery, he flips his lid and starts beating her up.  Surely, he just uses this as an excuse to get out (assuming why he was cheating in the first place?) or he asks for forgiveness in a way of holding his hands up?  I fully appreciate that a man can have sex with a mistress (even for a decent timeframe), yet still be in love with his girlfriend/wife, but I find it hard to understand how a cheating man then beats her up.  I’ve known first-hand of men to beat up their female partners once knowledgeable of her infidelity, but becoming violent when he is the one with pants caught down just doesn’t tally up.

My two pennies worth derive to these four possibilities:
·       He was never cheating, and this part of the story is make-believe.
·       She was cheating, and he found out.
·       He maybe cheated on isolated occasions as the sex frequency with her fragmented.
·       Neither was cheating, but his obsession towards her simultaneous to his sense of her drifting away took charge of his mind.


BBC NEWS (Online)

Thursday 12 September 2019

Man being sexually harassed by women

“Conscious manipulation, or an uncontrollable cry for help?”

F Sharp asks for my thoughts on the below:

“Good day mate! I hope that this message finds you well. I read your article called "Isolated occasions of women complimenting men’s looks", and I got to thinking: have you ever had (I'm sure that you have) any incidences with female sexual harassment at work? I don't mean you being the aggressor, but the victim... I keep having this issue and I don't know the best way to deal with it (sales, customer service, and even construction). Any advice, or could you write a small guide for how to handle it?
P.S. I understand that you have your own engagements in life and more important topics to articulate, but if you ever have a moment to write a guide for men in this scenario, I would be much obliged!”

My response:

Had I not previously received genuine emails from F Sharp on other topics where advice was requested, and it was consequently from another reader, I would suspect a comment of this kind may have been aggressively written with an element of tongue in cheek attached.  However, knowing F Sharp in a social media context per se, I take every word he wrote as genuine and honest.  I know there are some readers, and haters (both women and men), who cannot stand the subscriptions I make in terms of aspects related to very good-looking men, but so be it.  I’ll still write what I like, I’ll still speak what I see when necessary, and ultimately, I’ll restfully still sleep at night.

First, a direct answer to the question.  No, I have never been sexually harassed by women in the workplace.  Coming to think of it, I have never been sexually harassed by a female member of society in any environmental situation.  The closest I can think is some years ago when on a night out when a woman, most likely striving for troll points in front of her friends, said to me from five yards away: “You’re making me wet just by looking at you.”
As she wasn’t the most arousing of women, I just smiled and replied: “You’re welcome.”

The only other times which I could say comes close to any kind of female sexual harassment is the usual excuse to just touch me on the shoulder or make out that I looked stressed in subsequently massaging me, but for me this is just flirty interaction as opposed to downright sexual contact.  Besides, in some cases I was more than happy to be touched by younger female colleagues. 

In essence, I guess it depends on a man’s interpretation to what female sexual harassment constitutes.  For the purpose of online definition:
 Sexual Harassment:
Behaviour characterized by the making of unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks or physical advances in a workplace or other professional or social situation.

With the definition now looked upon more closely, I suppose in this case I have then in fact been sexually harassed by women on more occasions than I’ll ever remember.  Nevertheless, to reiterate in my view I wouldn’t class it as anything more than flirtatious, maybe even desperate, female actions in getting that bit closer to me.

It’s funny because I don’t think I ever really acknowledged that female sexual harassment projected onto men even existed until I saw the Indecent Proposal movie on DVD.  I recall finding the whole film somewhat bizarre, to the point of thinking that if I was Michael Douglas, I’d just let Demi Moore carry on with her advances and enjoy the ride, so to speak.

Anyway, this clearly has given F Sharp some disturbance, and it needs to be answered and thought upon seriously.  First, it all depends on how much anxiety it is causing you.  If it is an experience like that as explained in my life, I simply wouldn’t do anything.  Remember that any notification you make to your Human Resources will, no matter how much you ask for it to be treated in confidence, conceivably result in word getting out that it was you who reported a level of sexual harassment.  You will only be laughed at, sneered at, or looked down upon for doing this. 

If it is genuinely causing you trepidation, discomfort or a sour taste in your mouth for the start of every day, then I can only suggest having a quiet word with the woman/women who are interacting with you in this way.  I’d try and nip it in the bud that way, perhaps just stating you find it flattering yet uncomfortable due to the working environment.  Another reason you could give is that your boss has commented on this and you think it could have a detriment on your progression (ironically, if you have a female line manager this attention you receive from other women could have positive results if she is a hot boss, or negative results if she is older and/or ugly).

I appreciate this may not be the advice you were looking for, but it is difficult for me to state anything more productive when I can only view it as something to not take too seriously.

Further female flirty thoughts – fertile/horny week

I was intending to write a bespoke post on this subject, and I may still do so, but for now I will write a few words on how any man, especially a highly gifted aesthetic man, can use the one week out of four female fertile period to his advantage.  I must be honest and confess that the penny never dropped on my plate for many years into my experience with women, but once comprehensive to the undeniability of real life, my success to become intimate with women vastly improved.

Ultimately, women possess two mating strategies that represent the alpha fux beta bux phrase that is now accustomed to any man who knows the first thing about good ladies from our opposite sex.  For three weeks (give or take a day or two) out every four weeks, a woman will usually be more than content with her average looking, pleasant, safe, reliable and providing male partner who receives very little attention from female counterparts.  This man is good for her ego, makes her feel like a princess, and will nearly always be someone she can plan a long term with.

The problem, for her and him, is when she arrives at the start of day ten on her menstrual cycle, up until typically day fifteen or sixteen.  This one week out of four leaves her with an innate and uncontrollable urge to seek out edgier, more popular and better-looking men than the male partner she accompanies.  I’d go as far to say that in this day and age, if most women only have a full-on night out one in every four weekends, they will make best attempts to ensure the date is planned around the most fertile and horny window week. 

During this one week out of four, a woman’s taste for men drastically takes a turn.  If man thinks marriage, or even being a mother, changes this habit then think again.  It only compounds her urge; such is now her dwindling sexual predilection to the male long-term partner.  The only implication marriage and kids may have on some women is their resistance to carry out infidelity actions due to the consequences involved, but don’t bet on too many married women and/or mothers holding down this level of integrity, loyalty and faithfulness.

It’s ironic that when a man gets married and becomes a father, he becomes more attractive to nearly every other woman in his social or working network apart from to the woman he married or is the mother of his child.

But if you are a man who naturally attracts women at ease, it would be prudent to take full advantage of this female wonder week.  Women who usually give you the cold shoulder (due to your gender relative higher physical attractiveness) or women in stable relationships will show far greater proactive, physical contact and proximity signs that they would like to get to know you better.  This window only lasts a matter of days (often only one day in that week if you don’t see her day in day out), therefore pick up on it as soon as you can.  Because once day sixteen passes, there will be another three weeks where she goes back into her shell and is happy for Monsieur Dependable.  You may not see her during the next window opening.

These signs are easy to pick up on, because as stated above, her habits, body language, likeability and closeness onto you will positively change for six or seven days.  What is all usually negative, acrimonious, unreceptive and unfriendly behaviour on her part, takes a 180-degree turn.

This is effectively why a woman can never be truly happy or consistent in her relationship life, because she must carry out two roles for every month of her life.  You could make an argument to question why the hell any man in his right mind would get married and place himself in such risky waters.  Then again, most men know nothing about women, and what makes them tick, or not.

Wednesday 17 July 2019

Indirect or direct interaction with women?

“Fate can bring people together in the same way fate can drive us apart.”

There is a lot of information out there on various blogs or alternative reading regarding whether it is more beneficial to approach women, when hitting on them, in an indirect or direct manner.  Some of what I write in this post may have been read before, but I’d expect a few items will be a little more original.

It’s important to set out the parameters and differentials between indirect and direct interaction, with the according advantages and disadvantages to suit:

Indirect interaction consists of a man approaching a woman with an environmental/common ground opener or similar.  At no stage does the man state his intentions of affection onto the woman, even though in a lot of (but not all) cases a woman would be aware this man has interest in her.

Pure and simple, indirect interaction buys a man time.  As a by-product, this time allows him to exploit his personality and likeability (although in turn not being too nice or happy), and as women require a self-evaluation of many male desirables which are not only based on physical attractiveness, there is a more likely circumstance of her wanting to get to know him better if he ticks the early boxes. 

The main deficiency in indirect interaction is never quite knowing whether she likes you or not in a way you want her to venture on.  A good deal of women will quite happily give a man their number, engage in messaging, and even go on a date or two (or three or four!) in receipt of the ego boost and attention they receive, yet in fact have no intention whatsoever to engage sexually with him.  If not nipped in the bud sooner rather than later, many a man wastes a good deal of money, time and emotional investment on a woman who isn’t interested in him other than non-sexual motivations. 

In easy language, direct interaction is when a man doesn’t hide his attraction onto a woman, and he informs her of this fact early on.  It is rare to use this strategy as an immediate opener, but it can work.  Direct interaction – and the verbal execution of a man telling a woman he is attracted to her – is most beneficial shortly after an indirect opener and some brief conversation, but his intentions must be stipulated at some stage prior to going their separate ways.

Unlike indirect interaction which can and does leave a man hanging and scratching his head down the line when her interest appears indifferent at best, direct interaction boxes a woman into a corner in enforcing her to decide.  She will know this man who attains the cojones to know what he wants is not in the habit of wasting time, and this will, usually, at the very least eradicate her innate time-wasting trait which is born out of the attention she craves.  In simple terms, direct interaction saves any wasted money, time and emotion exertion.

For women who are on the insecure or low confidence side (which represents most women), a direct approach will be too intimidating for them.  They will believe a man who has this level of fortitude and balls approaches many other women in the same way, and in fact she is just a number.  Whilst nearly all women are sexually attracted to highly confident and courageous men, their high insecurity more often than not subconsciously (or sometimes consciously) leads her to choose a less confident man for relationship material. 

Where do I stand?

As someone who has approached hundreds of women in my life, both indirect and direct interaction have brought me successes and failures.  In truth, I would expect a lot of these women on the rejection side would have declined my advances irrespective of strategy, therefore the overall assessment is a difficult one to conclude.

Nevertheless, as a man who is far nearer the proactive than reactive scale in comparison to the greater male population, in addition to being a person who can’t stand wasting time or associated investment, I would recommend direct interaction every time.  The rejections will be far greater in number and percentage, but this is, in my view, a small price to pay for having the luxury to move onto the next objective.

Another reason I far favour direct interaction is the knowledge gained that women never stick to something for very long.  So, if you see a woman in the gym for example on a Wednesday morning, there is no guarantee she will be there the following week on the same day and time.

One more reason is knowing how many women use men, especially men like me, as a validation tool and ego massaging instrument.  They will sometimes happily talk to me and exchange numbers, but unless I have made my intentions clear they will often just use me as a purpose for attention.  When I have cornered them, I find they do not go through with the time-wasting exercise – and thus either role on sexually or never respond. 

The best course of life is nearly always derived from the path of least resistance.  Aim to accomplish the most through minimal exertion. 

A Final Thought

You may or may not think this is suitable for you, but a line or two I have used over recent times (after a few seconds of indirect interaction) is as follows:
“You may find this too direct for your liking, but I don’t want to waste your time and I certainly don’t want to waste mine.  The reality is, I find you attractive, and I have done probably since the first or second time I saw you.  It was just a case of then finding the right way and time to tell you.  And it’s not just because you’re hot, although this does help, but you seem like a relatively likeable person too.  But if you feel uncomfortable with me or nervous around me then that’s fine, we can just go our separate ways and I’ll never ask you again, I can assure you of that.  I just think life’s too short for regrets or what ifs.”

There are elements of beta in the above, but this is intentional.  If a confident (and good-looking) man approaches a woman he doesn’t know personally, he must show a level of betaness too.  Without it, the confidence she is attracted to borders on being counterproductive.

Monday 10 June 2019

Accepting she doesn’t like you

“Getting up earlier won’t make the sun rise any sooner.”

I recall a time in my early twenties when speaking to a woman who was nearly thirty years my senior, and she confided in me regarding her impending decision to leave her husband.  Her husband was ten years older (than her), and although they had been “together” for a decade, they had only lived under the roof and been married for less than a couple of years within this timeframe.   Knowing the woman, the man I reference was nothing more than a validation tool, a source of internal attention on her part, and a release from an existing unhappy first marriage she lived in prior and during the decade or so I document.  She never really loved him, and in truth he was simply a stopgap and stepping stone to something better.

There were a few reasons the woman verbalized to me in terms of her jettison reasoning, some true and some not so true I would expect, but there was one explanation that stood out which was quite direct at her husband’s shortcomings.  I cannot quite remember the exact words or justification. 

When I spoke to the husband shortly after her departure, he was very much heartbroken and searching for rationale.  He asked me to tell him anything she had said that might give him closure, therefore I reluctantly declared the direct words she had informed.  Before I could even catch breath, he totally dismissed this could at all be the reason.  In essence, he didn’t want to accept any deficiency on his part.

There are four main ways a man fails in being any good with women:

·       He often refuses to accept the misdemeanours, lies and manipulations accustomed to the lives of a high percentage of modern-day women, and in particular a woman he is involved with.
·       He disregards any possibility that her lack of interest, or dwindling interest, is a consequence of failures belonging to him that severs his inner pride

·       He holds a mindset she is too good for him.
·       He refuses to believe she simply isn’t interested in him.

Only last week I sat in the gym coffee area to do some work prior to a meeting.  Having performed this same routine for a while now, the young woman who works on front desk (an 8/10 in looks) always made it her business to bring me a coffee and stand to talk for at least twenty minutes.  Over the last few weeks, she had given me embarrassed looks on many occasions.  On at least two instances she went out of her way to inform me she was single.  When I casually asked her last week if she wanted to take some lunch together, there appeared no hesitation whatsoever as she passed over her number.

Hopefully as an advanced writer in the field of female emotional psychology, my text interactions were in accordance with the intuition gained from her personality and general experience acquired from many other women.  As it turns out, her responses over the last seven days have been brief, intermittent and lacking any in true enthusiasm.  Apathetic at best.

I could list a near dozen possible reasons to explain her sudden change from excitement to apathy, but it’s simply not worth dwelling on.  If I had the inclination to ask her, she would just give me a bullshit story.  The facts of the matter are I must accept that she simply isn’t interested in taking things further, pending a huge change of emotion or motivation on her part.  Move onto the next.

And once you rebel against the golden four rules as documented above, over time your mind manifests to bring about lower expectations in women.  Call it water off a duck’s back, if you will.  I’m not going to lie and say I’m not slightly disappointed, because I am.  I’m no stranger to women rejecting me through their perception of my character (hence them not knowing me on a personal level), but this woman had the opportunity to analyse my personality and see there is some brain to go with the brawn.  So, disappointment - yes.  Frustration, surprised and bitterness – no.

Q-tip 1:
If you expect little from women, and in turn start to second guess and predict their likely moves, you will accustom yourself to view them more easily as interchangeable and moveable commodities.  You start to use them in a very much similar way to how they use you.

Q-tip 2:
There is a nuance between a woman not being interested in a man, against a woman not being interested in taking things further with a man.  In the case of the former, a woman is simply not attracted to the man or/and she finds him unappealing.  In the case of the latter, this in fact can often be a scenario where she is very attracted to him and finds him more than appealing, but her lack of confidence, high insecurity, low trust thresholds and big ego forces her mind to forbid in venturing on.

Wednesday 5 June 2019

The not so body beautiful women go for

  “No purpose, no point.”

As a huge boxing fan, and secondary to this week’s launch of crappy Love Island UK, it came across to me as a worthwhile reminder of the male body women actually go for and choose in a long-term partner.  It is imperative, for any valid analyzation, to distinguish between what women desire in longevity aspects in comparison to what they are sexually turned on by.

On Saturday night, the professional sport of boxing brought about a mind-blowing surprise that resulted in Mexico’s (Mexican/American) Andy Ruiz Jr beating Britain’s Anthony Joshua.  Ruiz consequently, for now at least, became the unified heavyweight champion of the world.  Joshua was more than just a heavyweight champion.  Although not too well-known in America, he had become the highest profile sports star in the United Kingdom, and his wealth and fame illustrates this undeniable consequence. 

What made people scratch their heads even more was down to the polar opposite physical aesthetics and stature of both men.  Even if you do not follow boxing, your eyes cannot hide from the below image.

At the risk of technical explanation, Ruiz in fact could, and probably did, attain better cardiovascular endurance than Joshua on fight night.  Ruiz also has a far more advanced amateur pedigree than Joshua prior to turning professional, and this manifests in a “boxing muscle brain memory” that allows greater decisions to be made when hurt.  In essence, a body beautiful isn’t always the most effective and productive profile to produce in heavyweight boxing.  Ruiz was most likely better prepared fighter for a boxing match.  He just looks like Grimace from McDonalds' because he eats a lot.

Nevertheless, what intrigued me the most about the two extreme sides of physical stature belonging to both men was how the general public looked upon both fighters in the lead up to the big event.  Which body do you think the average men on the street would aspire to have, and which one did they perhaps somewhat laugh at?  Needless to say - Joshua and Ruiz respectively.  In respect to women (who would know not the first thing about boxing) looking on, which man were they salivating over when the top was off, and which one were they repulsed by?  Again, it would obviously be Joshua in the former, and Ruiz in the latter. 

But women aren't logical

As a reminder to the purpose, this previously published post will give more than enough real-life evidence to explain the differences in how women are emotionally moved by a man’s body.  All else equal, most women would rather have sex with a man possessing Joshua’s physique, yet become the long-term partner to a man attaining Ruiz’s figure.  You will find a lot of women claiming that they would choose Joshua when in fact they would opt for Ruiz, mainly to hold down their integrity and score troll points in front of their friends.  As always though, watch what women do rather than listen to what they say. 

But Joshua would have more women after him than Ruiz?

Absolutely he would, but this is only because he is famous and rich.  As I’ve documented on more than a couple of occasions within this blog, male high status and wealth – and the status whoring and easier life as a by-product they bring to a woman’s life - will reluctantly enforce her mind to erase the thought of being with a top end physically attractive man. 

If there’s enough of an incentive to improve her life, a woman will move away from her distastes.  This applies to reluctant venturing on with men who belong to both the grotesque and physically blessed extremes of the male population.

Thursday 16 May 2019

Men going out solo: the pros and cons

“The amount of company someone attains isn’t necessarily a reflection of popularity.
It is more often a symbol of low-confidence and inhibition.”

Men’s, and women’s, friendships with the same gender fragment in number, solidarity, loyalty and reliability as they get older.  There may be a small percentage of people who claim the opposite, but most honest people will agree with me.  Time is precious to everyone, but over time you simply have less time to dedicate to others outside.  This even includes your loved ones.  You could argue that the diminishment of disposable time as we become older causes us to also be more selfish, and the two factors often go hand in hand.

This isn’t so much a criticism to anyone as much as an observation and acceptance of reality.  I class myself as one of the most loyal and reliable folk out there, but even I would put my hand on heart and confess to becoming far more selfish as each year has passed by, although a large part may be the consequence of being a cancer survivor, in conjunction with possessing less free time due to work commitments and progression.  Pure and simple, a rude awakening forces a person to be more selfish and evaluate who actually gives a crap about you and who wouldn’t piss on you if on fire when they walked past.  When the evaluation has been actioned, you distribute your time out accordingly. 

Only the other night, a few of us had arranged to go out for few drinks and catch up.  We only tend to do this every couple of months at best.  I’d informed all the other men of this date at least six weeks prior, and they all agreed it was a firm arrangement.  Two weeks prior to the night, I texted a reminder.  One of them backed out as he had to babysit his little boy (not sure what his fat ass wife was doing, but that’s another story).  No problem I thought, although it did make me wonder when he would have informed me had I not prompted.  A day before the night, another one started to have reservations, and he never text me one way or the other the next day.  The final man, on the morning of the event day, claimed he had a dodgy tummy and couldn’t make it.  Maybe he was telling the truth, although I know for a fact all was fine the day before when he ventured on an eight-hour walk. 

At the risk of contradicting myself, it is a fair argument that we are just as selfish when in our peak lifespan of going out – between 18 to 21.  As a younger mind is more self-centred in terms of thinking the world will accommodate our needs and all else is irrelevant, there will be many young people letting others down without an ounce of remorse.  The difference is at that age the social group is much larger, and one or two dropping out has little, or less, consequence on your overall arrangement.  The show goes on, with just a couple less faces to see.

Fast forward five or ten years, and a couple of people dropping out on short notice is pretty much wiping out your plan.  When it happens on an isolated occasion you can cut your losses and put it down to one of those things, but when it gets to the stage when you are half expecting the same old excuses, you start to wonder what’s the point. 

The decision to go out alone

Whether through travelling or working away, I’ve probably gone to bars and restaurants alone hundreds of times.  Whilst I totally commend anyone who cares little for no company in these scenarios, for the purpose of this post I’m discounting both.  This disregarding is only because, to the wider audience, contemplating going out alone to bars and clubs in someone’s local town or city is far more relevant.

Although I’m a person who cares next to nothing about what people think of me, or little about the consequences life throws at me, I still have never gone out alone in my home city of Derby.  I’m a great believer that when taking risks, the reward needs to outweigh the possible results, and as I will allude to below, too many people know me in Derby.  For this reason, last year I went out in the neighbouring city of Nottingham (which is a more vibrant city and has a considerably greater number and percentage of physically attractive women).

This didn’t come without consideration baggage too.  Although not close to the magnitude of Derby, I gradually over the years started to know more people in Nottingham.  I have been involved with more than a few women on a casual basis who live in the city or surrounding area.  But in view of the above explanation with regards to unreliable male friends, it came to a point of natural progression to venture out solo in primary objectives to meet sought after and quality women. 

All this came with mixed fortunes.  I extend on this below:

Advantages 1: You write your own script

One of the big advantages is, in attempt to meet women who strike your eye, you are the master of your own destiny.  When in male groups, some of the others may desire to go to bars you know class women do not locate.  When in a bar, one man may feel more at ease standing nearer more attainable (hence uglier) women than hot female counterparts.  When going out alone, you go and stand where you like.  This saves valuable time and money on wasted locations.

Advantage 2: Leave a venue straight away

As any astute man will tell you, a social or working venue that has a high ratio of men to women is a complete waste of time.  Any half-decent woman receiving attention from desperate men will think she is a level or two above what the mirror tells us.  This makes it twice as hard to gain positive receptiveness from her in comparison to an evenly matched ratio.  When out alone, unlike in a group where the usual decision is to stay on for a drink, you can instantly leave the place.

Advantage 3: Low calibre male friends not being there

Don’t get me wrong, a large part of going out is to catch up with mates and have a laugh.  Nevertheless, any honest man will also concede that, and especially if single, he will be on the lookout for suitable one-night stands, short term flings, or a potential girlfriend.  In the sheer law of averages in life, the reality is a high percentage of your friends will not be confident around women, have very little ability to navigate a conversation around women, and have poor body language and demeanour to suit.  This can, on more than a few occasions, detract rather than attract women.  When alone, you don’t have the hassle of carrying them.  Similarly, if you are on the hunt for a one-nighter yet your friends look and dress older than you, women can’t predict your age as accurately. 

Advantage 4: Portrayed Confidence / Mystique

Women are uncontrollably drawn towards an air of confidence a man can portray.  They are also ignited to a level of mystique – trying to work out what he is about.  A lonesome man standing in a bar, not acting in a timid or shameful way, gives off both offerings.  It’s strange because like me back then, I’d expect there are many late teenage and early 20’s men who think women are attracted to men who hang around in large numbered male groups.  The problem is, this is basically a man who is acting like a woman – with the “safety in numbers” mentality.  It is never a bad time to remind yourself that what a woman feels comfortable in acting out herself, she is unattracted to a man replicating it in the gender opposing way.

Disadvantage 1: Women’s interpreting you are a loner

We live in a world where women require social proof more than ever before, and without the luxury to explain reasons to your sole outing, a decent percentage of women will automatically interpret a man standing alone as a loner.  Such is the female mind that is petrified of any negative the world sees upon her, many women will not entertain getting to know a man who she thinks has no friends.  It’s important to have a good reason ahead of you regarding being alone, no matter how objective or economical to the truth it may be.

Disadvantage 2: Unable to exploit charisma easily

Irrespective to the level of your extroverted or introverted male friends, the big positive in being with male company is the luxury to exploit strong body language, verbal confidence, and listening skills. When a woman is analysing a man interacting with his male buddy, effectively she is weighing up how he would interact with her.  When alone, naturally this is not possible.  Even if you pick up conversation with an unknown group, the level you can positively expose your character is limited due to not having the common ground or talking topics.

Disadvantage 3: Women construing you as a poor socializer

As an add on to 1), once more many women will have concerns you are not someone who has high tolerance with others.  They may think you are a social loser at worst, or someone who falls out easily with others at best.  Again, women are always assessing a man on far more than his looks, and the thought he may be someone who can’t get on with her friends and family may enforce her to dismiss any of your advances.

Disadvantage 4: Assumption you are an extreme player

Some women love players, and they will go out of their way to be with men who they perceive to be this way.  At the end of the day, what sought after woman doesn’t desire to be with a man who is experienced with the female population?  However, and if you are a very good-looking man, if alone, many women will automatically tar you into a bracket of a man who is just out to get laid.  In the world of big female egos, a large percentage of women will dismiss this man in favour of a safer, even if more boring, male suitor. 

A Final Thought

One thing I have learned, and this may or may not apply to other men, is that it is harder for me to motivate myself to get ready and go out when knowing I’m flying solo.  Although I’m totally adversarial to the follower mentality, I guess I do like immediate company, usually in smaller groups, to warm me up.  If I haven’t got this enthusiasm in the first place, I find it hard to gather up momentum as the minutes tick by.  This is all more relevant in colder months.

Nevertheless, this has to be balanced out with the inevitable unreliability of male friends, therefore I’m a firm believer in back up plans.  With all this in mind, I’d conclude as saying going out alone can and does work to your advantage when in the right frame of mind, yet it works against you when feeling half-hearted.  Likewise, going out with company is a safer bet with greater margins.  So in essence, going out alone is high reward versus high risk.

Sometimes you can feel like the world is watching you when venturing out alone.  You need to accept you may be the only person in the room doing so.  Over time and experience though, this feeling isn’t so irritable or conscious, especially if you can manifest a mind of outcome independence and not giving a shit what people generally think of you.  The harder task is eliminating your inner thoughts of what women are thinking about you in absence of any company.