Sunday 29 December 2013

Not so beautiful dot con

“Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the vainest of them all?  Is it my heart or ego that rules, or is the world of love only made for fools?”

There is a certain online dating website that goes by the name of  It has caused some controversy on discrimination grounds due to the process it uses for subscribers to be accepted.  Basically, current members grade a new subscriber’s physical look, and they are either accepted onto or declined from the site accordingly.  If you ask me, I think it is, on paper, a fantastic concept as it saves time searching indefinitely for someone you find physically attractive.  But as my recent self-study will explain, it is far from this straight forward.

Absolutely Not             2%
No                             10%
Err, ok                        74%
Beautiful                     14%

The above options are how the opposite sex can vote from an international field.  The percentages shown are how I came out over a 48 hour judging period.  Unsurprisingly I got in, as someone only needs a majority from the last two options, but as you can see it isn’t exactly with flying colours.  I no longer have a professionally produced headshot photograph, and in truth I’ve always been someone who looks better in person than in photogenic form.  Nevertheless, a couple of my more endearing holiday images were put on for people to assess me.  Once my dampened ego had quickly turned round into a rise smile and suspected reasoning, a few more blanks were filled.

Now I know there are thousands of better looking men in the world than me, but I also know that I’d easily be in the top 1% of men who were seen as most physically attractive in any city in the UK.  Cocky, perhaps, but I go by third party comments and observational stares – within the UK and in other world cities - far more than my self-grade.  If women were forced to be honest every time, 74% would not only state “err, ok.”  With this in mind, my instinctive thoughts were that the benchmark must be so high on the site that maybe, in relativity, this indifferent comment is all I deserve.  Is it that British men are seen upon as ugly compared to other nation’s inhabitants?  The fact I’m a mixed-race guy with dark skin, who looks as British as a white man appears African, doesn’t back up this possibility.  

Once accepted onto the online dating site, my first exercise was to grade the newest 300 female users from all parts of the world.  As I couldn’t be bothered to move the cursor to “Absolutely Not”, this is how I scored them:

Absolutely Not              0 (0%)            Awful
No                               278 (93%)       Not shaggable / shaggable, but not date material
Err, ok                         19 (6%)           Cute   
Beautiful                       3 (1%)             Hot

I’ve shown how I would interpret the website options against how I viewed the women.  Let it be said, a fair number of the 93% were awful.  I make no apology in being a harsh assessor of female beauty, but even this surprised me.  This website was supposed to supply an array of the finest single ladies on planet Earth.  Ok, these were only potential subscribers, so maybe most other men were voting the same way?


Exercise number two was an analysis of the age spectrum of UK men who were current members.  I analyzed the “highest ranked” first 30 men that came up, and did likewise with 30 of the newest UK male members.  The average age was 27.4 and 29.4 respectively.  Using the same format for women, the average age came about at 26.8 and 27.1.   

Things were now starting to add up.  To the instinctive mind, the female average age of 26.8 for the “highest ranked” women is above the age you usually see women at their hottest.  I don’t think there can be much argument that, generally, women are at their most visually pleasing between 18 and 25.  However, it’s relative to the age of women on the site, so perhaps this age is misleading. 

With men, the “highest ranked” members were at an average age you would expect for men who look after themselves.  For men blessed with good genes and a sensible lifestyle, this pinnacle physical appearance age can go well into the 30s.  The fact that the newest subscribers were a couple of years older on average doesn’t really bear much relevance.  


The next task was related to my interest in how I’d compare (for the record, I rate myself humbly at 8.25/10 overall physical attractiveness) to the UK “highest ranked men”.  As you can’t see their score from other users, this was only my own view, but I like to think I grade men and women on objectivity and not self-agendas.  I chose to see how many views it would take to find 20 men who were clearly or marginally above me.  After finding 20 of the lucky sods, I counted up a total of 345.  Of the other 325, I’d roughly say 40% were similar to me and 60% were below.  There were a number of men who really couldn’t justify being on an “exclusive beauty” website, but when women are the voters you know it’s not purely based on sexual impulses.

Repeating a similar exercise from the newest male members, I counted up 10 men who would be more eye catching than me from 345 views.

Then it was time to see how many UK (hot) women it would take to see who were on at least the same level as my assessment of the top 20 men.  Well, my eyes, arm and head were all throbbing by the time I got there – at 859 views later! 

With the newest UK female members, all I can say is that I saw 4 hot women as a maximum before losing the will to carry on. 

What’s going on here?  Have I got things wrong?  From my observations in many social and working arenas, I see 3 to 4 times more hot women than top end physically attractive men.  Admittedly, the numbers on both sides are few and far between, but the ratios are on the female high side.  So how can it be that on a dating website of this kind – where the crème de la crème of eye candy women and men congregate – the ratio shows an opposite trend towards more hot men than women?  Even with the tiers below, my sharp eyes recollected a higher average male physical attractiveness grade by at least 1 level in comparison to the women. 

I more than accept my native country doesn’t exactly churn out a conveyor belt of hot women.  That is for sure.  When you go out on the busiest weekend of the year as I did during the weekend before Christmas in my local city, and you see only 4 hot women from all the numerous bars and clubs ventured in, this gives you some idea to the standard we have here.  But true to my claims, I didn’t see one man of equal hotness to the 4 women (apart from the mirror reflection, of course!), so despite a shortage of fine British women on our shore, there is still in excess of a 3-fold higher quantity of them than relative males.  


All this just doesn’t tally up with the “real life” as I see it, does it?  To the innocent bystander, this may appear oddly matched with the real world, but it was no fall off your seat moment to me.  I confidently believe I have the answers to unravel this curious role reversal.  Some conclusions are as a side issue to my study, but they inter-link all the same:

  • Women rate good looking men harshly, but still high enough to not make them not look stupid and irrational.  A begrudging “yeah, he’s ok” is a perennial response about men who are better looking than them.  The exceptions are when a good looking man is famous.

  • Women rate lesser looking but decent looking men – those along the average scale – higher than the objective look, as the comfort of attainability subconsciously drives them towards this habit.

  • Men analyze women’s beauty much less harshly in overall terms than the inverse.  They will naturally score a hot/very cute woman accordingly, but they may overrate even a mere cute woman.  The “she’s got a vagina, so don’t be so fussy” mentality will come into this, along with most men’s fear of hurting a woman’s feelings, even if it means lying along the way.  Even average women, as many on the site were, would be leveraged slightly higher by the indifferent male minds.  This would clear up why many uninspiring women found their ways on.

  • Any findings of mine or a site of this kind could leave people to believe there are more men of high physical attractiveness than women, but this isn’t the case.  It would be misguiding to suggest this is what reflects the open sexual market.

  • Hot women are very rare, make no mistake about it.  Nevertheless, whether it be in any social or occupational environment, women in this compartment are 3 to 4 times more likely to be seen (or there are 3 to 4 times as many) than men of similar looks relativity.  This same ratio also applies to the dynamic of cute women and above average looking men.  The trend does start to diminish when the female age ascends from 35 years of age.   Walking down the high streets, observing people in bars/clubs and general observation would back this up.

  • The reason there is a higher ratio and number of extremely physically attractive men than women on dating websites is simply because men from this category are more “available” to subscribe to sites like this than women:

i) Far more good looking men are single than hot women.
ii) Most men look to “grade up” with a better looking woman, whilst most women date down in the looks department.  With this in mind, men will look far and wide to find a hotter woman.
iii) Women in general are more relationship orientated, even if perhaps unhappy or only content with their current partner.

  • Hot women, due to less emphasis on male looks than the inverse situation, have far more pursuits from men than good looking men have from all shapes and sizes of women.  Men’s hunger for sex, and their natural instincts to chase and supplicate, brings about this circumstance.  Consequently, although there are more hot women than hot men in the UK, only a small percentage of these women would ever need to enroll to find love someone. In stats terms, 10% of 4 is less than 80% of 1.  This is perhaps a critical reason why there are more than twice as many hot men on these sites than hot women. 

  • Cute women stand out more than above average looking men.  In reality, these two categories are the equivalent match to hot women against hot men.  But a cute woman, especially a very cute woman (7.75/10 in physical attractiveness), lasts far longer in a man’s memory than an above average looking man does likewise to a woman’s thoughts on visuals only.  Ultimately, cute women also have more options in the sexual marketplace than the hoards of average men.  This results in a low number of younger cute women having to necessitate to online dating.

  • Women’s trust, insecurity, confidence and egoism issues tend to sway them away from the highest of eye catching men.  On the other hand, men of all kinds are tuned towards women from this elite group.  This once more manifests to form a high number of single good looking men.

  • With minor exceptions, women are at their most beautiful in physical terms in their late teens to mid 20s.  This is, naturally, when they have the most options in the sexual market.  When options are abundant there is no need to subscribe to a dating website unless a feel good ego boost is the requirement.  This goes in line with the vast majority of women who are on any online dating service – they are in their late 20s, 30s and 40s.  During this timeframe, fewer men have started to notice their existence.  So in essence, it is more than possible some of these women in later life were indeed hot or very cute in their younger years. 

  • Flip the coin, and you will see the majority of men at their most eye catching in their late 20s.  This went in conjunction with the average age I calculated.  But the difference is men at this age – their physical peak – are not at their most socially active due to work commitments and male friends who have settled down.  A dating website, even at the age when most physically honoured, could be a necessity to meet a woman.

  • It is a misconception that men who hold the highest physical visual blessings will always find a suitable woman due to the abundant female followers.  These men will attain glances and attention that 99% of men could only dream about, but this rarely equates to bags in the sack or long term relationships.  Extremely good looking men who have little else to offer, but also some with other desirables, have a lot of trouble locating a girlfriend.  Many of these men will tell you they are sexual players, but let me tell you that most of them are lying.  If these men had choices to spare with the female society, why would they ever need to enroll on a dating website with the rolls of unattractive women to view?

  • Hot women have the biggest egos and most fragile prides.  They also have high opinions of their physical beauty, even if this isn’t born out of fundamental inner confidence.  This all manifests in causing them to perceive a dating website as the last straw before validation of desperation.  A hot or very cute woman – those with delicate thoughts to how others look upon them – would not take kindly to other people’s perceptions of her not feeling wanted.  She will most likely repel from subscribing.  Men, irrespective to their physical attractiveness level, are far less concerned about what people think of them.  Men see dating websites as an opportunity, and not a failure.   

All in all, online dating websites for good looking men who have the natural male inclination to “date up” are a complete waste of time.  It really is just as hard to find a hot woman scrolling up and down a computer screen as it is walking the streets for hours.  Lesser looking men, with reduced female physical beauty threshold, are in a better position.  They throw themselves in the same large slice of the cake segment as the average women on there.  There is even maybe an easier chance to grade up online than elsewhere, in particular for introverted men or those with little comprehension to women’s true choices in men. 

It’s important to remember that a woman’s rating of a man’s physical appearance can often be dictated and fluctuated by other factors.  If he shows a positive level of status, wealth, personality, charisma and mystique – things she gains from – a woman will likely elevate her grade of a man.  On the flip side, if her unknowledgeable perception draws from negative thoughts, she will de-leverage the objectivity of his physical attractiveness.  This de-scale is all the more pronounced when it is contemplation of a man who is better looking than her.  In contrast, a man will simply grade a woman’s beauty on what he sees at first glance.

This observational reality even runs parallel with online dating – the sexual market meeting place where you would think that visuals rule everything.  Again, a man will barely read a woman’s profile, and if he does it will most certainly be after more than a few looks at all the pictures of her face and body.  Women will naturally analyze the profile picture of a man first, but they will not disqualify a great number of men who aren’t too pleasing to their naked eye if his profile write-up convinces them he has much else to offer.

So here you have it in summary.  There are more than 3 times as many hot women than hot men in the UK (and in other countries), yet there are almost 3 times more men of high end physical attractiveness on the apparently exclusive “beautiful” dating website than stunning looking women.  Not every one of these men could have crap personalities, lower status and other below average desirable metrics in comparison to all the lesser looking men seen with hot and very cute women.  Are you now starting to cross some boxes?  Is the reality smacking you full on in the face?  It’s all there to see, folks.  It isn’t just a mere coincidence.


Friday 27 December 2013

The law of rejection for attractive high value men

“Regrets make you old, and bitterness poisons the people around you.” 

When a man creeps towards the wrong end of his 20s, he may go through a phase of dating young women in their late teens.  For me, I see it as far more than a simple coincidence of life.  Now I wouldn’t necessarily recommend a guy who is in a similar position to go out of his way to attain these criteria of females, but if it works for him, I certainly wouldn’t discourage it either.  I’m lucky to hold down a physical look that knocks many years off my actual age - not a personal opinion, but views from peers of the same and opposite sex.  I’ve also made sacrifices and health choices too, in preserving my youthful look.  Even without this physical appearance consideration, many women prefer older guys due to their higher status and a mature mind not accustomed with young men their own age.

As a man develops through his 20s, and into his 30s too, providing he has looked after himself he will have arrived to his sexual market value peak.  His physical looks and body have developed, his personality and charisma has grown through experience of life, and he has naturally become wealthier and more financially secure.  He should additionally be street wise when it comes to the female emotional mind, but in truth very few men get there.  On the face of life, a good looking, high value man has his pick of attractive women.  But then the twist of logics in the attraction field, and how women think, take over.

If you are a man fortunate enough to be living a life in a network that consists of many single or available women, then being this attractive high value man shouldn’t be too much of a problem.  In fact, it should be a huge advantage over most other guys.  This scenario allows you to show a genuine nature, humility and modesty to reassure a woman she has a bite of the biggest fish in the pond.  However, if like many guys you are a busy working man, or just simply have reached the time in your life where you need time alone, your opportunities to meet women are limited.  Suddenly, the thought of visiting the gym three times a week - where often there are not many women who are of high physical attractiveness - or going out one in every four Saturday nights, brings home reality that your time and chances to meet these women are very much limited.  We could spend an eternity preaching the concept of getting out more in social environments to increase the chances, and I totally agree with this.  But I’m also a realist, and I know there are times at this age when, for the benefit of your looks, energy and enthusiasm, a man needs to strike a balance of “out there” and “home alone” time.

So if you are a guy in this predicament, it is important to consider the following 3 aspects:
  • Never hesitate to approach that woman you like, otherwise you’ll be potentially waiting a while for the next one.
  • Still have yourself as the priority in your life - a desperate looking guy who ventures to places he doesn’t want to go solely to pick up women is easily detected and quickly disqualified.
  • Understand the reasons to why attractive women reject attractive high value men.

And it’s the last aspect we are going to look at to closely analyze:

I will always stand by my theory that the hardest part for an attractive man in the eyes of the any woman is to find a way of erasing her perception.  To clarify:

Her perception of how you will be as a potential mate – ninety percent of time this will be a negative perception.

Her perception of how she would feel herself if she was to be with you.

The two are very different, but ultimately lead her mind to the same conclusion - one of not wanting, or more likely not choosing, to be with him.  Before the reasons are examined, look at two other kinds of men she could be with:

The average looking nice guy
The rugged looking bad boy

Nice guy

Remember, we are looking at the stage when guys are trying to attain the woman, and not trying to maintain her interest.  This is important to reiterate, because the reasons become clear to why it is hard for the beta male to keep this kind of woman.  With this kind of guy, despite her thoughts of his eventual jealous, irritable and suffocating ways, she won’t think of this in the early stages.  Despite the lack of chemistry, she will bask herself in the ego boost thrill of how someone could idolize her.  She knows this, and quite frankly, so does he.  After some recent negative experiences, she feels she deserves a period of time of being placed on a pedestal, and with the nice guy she knows she will receive this degree of appreciation.  This kind of relationship is all about her, about how it makes her feel in herself, and what he does for her.  In contrast, it has very little to do with the relationship itself.  She may post a status of “in a relationship” on her Facebook page, but check how her profile picture, or any other pictures for that matter, rarely have him alongside her.  However, it’s not so much that she’s ashamed of him, but it’s more to do with the concern she has to what others may think of his average or below average looks.  Many would say this is a relationship of convenience, but in truth it is a convenience that satisfies her inner comfort levels in replacement to true visceral feelings.

Bad boy

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that many women do prefer the rugged looks compared to a more handsome look.  In these cases, bad boys fit their bill.  But think of many bad boys you know in your network.  They will often be shaven, in possessing tattoos and big muscles.  Sometimes bad boys maybe even skinny in the ‘Hipster’ style.  I doubt many of these men fit into the actual handsome category.  My point to this is: take an 8/10 looking woman and the likelihood is her bad boy boyfriend would be rated around 6/10 or 7/10.  So despite this risk, danger (which is usually a positive thrill for her at this stage anyway) and lack of commitment, in her mind she straightaway holds a value criteria advantage over him.  This makes her feel better about herself, and women need to be continuously seeking self approval of their worth to the world.  In addition to this, many bad boys can come across as lacking in intelligence, even if a select few are rich and successful in financial terms.  They are rarely articulate.  So needless to say, this is compatible with a less intelligent, but physically attractive, woman.  But even for an intelligent and attractive woman, this can also make her feel some level of power alongside him.  By knowing she is cleverer than him, this gives her another self-value qualification in her weak thoughts of perceived power balance in a relationship.  Over time, this disparity in smarts terms will eat away at her annoyance thresholds, with the inevitable parting of ways being the consequence.  Whilst short term flings can contradict this theory, time usually regulates the normal course of action: women seeking men of a higher level in as many sexual market value metrics as possible apart from physical attractiveness.

Now let’s take the attractive high value man who approaches the typical attractive woman.  She has probably already spotted him, but she is never sure if he will approach her or her attractive competitors ten yards away.  She may well have already rejected him in her mind with negative thoughts of “he loves himself” or “he’d be a playboy” or “he’d have no personality”.  It may even be words within of “he’s not my type anyway”.  But then he approaches her in a confident and genuine way, and asks her opinion on something relative to the environment.  They have a short conversation, and as he leaves, her thoughts are how it is almost impossible that she has met a handsome, charming, intelligent, charismatic and personable guy.  She has barely ever met a man in her life who she can immediately find compatibility in physical chemistry and mental stimulation terms.  They either arranged to meet again, or they exchange phone numbers.  Surely nothing can go wrong here, can it?

A day or two passes, and strangely she doesn’t meet at the place they had actually arranged or she doesn’t reply to his texts and calls.  The easy assumption here is for the guy to think she was never really interested, and that she just did the kind thing of not rejecting him there and then.  In that period of a couple of days, she has turned these positives into negatives:-

Positive                                 Negative
Good looking guy                 Takes advantage of it and would cheat
                                                He looks as good as me

Great personality                   Takes advantage and uses all these lines on other women
                                                 He’s too clever for me and I feel inadequate

High value man                      What do I have to offer?I feel inferior to him in many metrics,                                                             but most importantly, in physical attractiveness terms

With this kind of high value man, she knows she has to protect her ego and emotions the most.  Sure, the nice guy doesn’t offer her much chemistry, but he makes her feel good in herself in comparison to this.  The bad boy doesn’t offer her any security, and although he is full of emotional risk, she knows she can still feel value in herself when with him.  With the attractive high value man, she’s wondering how he can make her feel better about herself.  If the gender roles were reversed here, the man feels great by not only knowing he looks good himself, but that she makes them look even better.  He sees the dynamic as an elevation to his status.  In contrast, most women, in their natural requirement for feeling important in their own minds, do not think like this.  By her being alongside someone as physically attractive as her, she feels less value in herself.  Add into this mix his natural charm and persona, and her insecurity are at an all time high.  In relationships, men focus the most on how the two of them complement each other.  Most women, beyond the likely age of 23, place greater emphasis on how valued they feel in when with the man she walks alongside.  It is an insecurity dynamic that can barely be compared between any man and woman on the planet, as so few men think the way women do in this scenario, and only a small percentage of women view it like a man.      

When a woman feels like this, very little persuading or convincing can swing her.  Not every woman is like this, so this kind of guy shouldn’t waste his time with women of extreme insecure inclinations.  In fact, men suffering from these occurrences should take them as back-handed compliments.  In the meantime, whilst her less attractive friend is asking her about where that handsome and charming guy got to, she is making up stories that make him sound inferior to her in order for her to maintain her value and ego.  You can only pity women who are
this way inclined - putting their own perceived value ahead of what their true visceral desires are telling them.  Then again, with the pressures put on women these days, due to reality television programmes and celebrity magazines, to constantly look more beautiful than they naturally are, maybe they cannot be blamed for thinking good looking men with high value would be too high maintenance to be with throughout a relationship.

With all the above in mind, it shouldn’t be missed on anyone that men can make a level of high sexual market value, and they can still be seen as attractive and appealing to women, yet not be anything more than an average looking standard from a visual perspective.  These men will not even be close to getting the same negative treatment when engaging women as their more physically attractive male counterparts would receive.  This is only true because nearly all women, irrespective of the strengths and weaknesses belonging to their own sexual market characteristics, place the most obsession and concern to their own physical attractiveness.  They would happily, and often preferably, be with a man who is a level or two above them in every metric that goes into a person’s relationship suitability – with the exception of physical attractiveness. 

It is also important to be aware that, in the main, women are natural followers and lack a level of pro-activeness.  This is often no fault of their own, as many will have been brought up in environments where others have supplied paths for them with little effort required on their own parts.  Many others have not had this leverage of assistance, and usually these women have a more self-obligated motivation to find their own path.  In the case of the former group, they are constantly aspiring to elevate their sexual market value, but this aspiration is fighting a battle with their lack of compulsions to seek new methods to improve their personality, charisma, career, status or any other non-visual attributes.  There is only so much a woman can do to elevate her physical appearance - therefore they can tend to lean on a man they accompany to reach this potential.  This is another reason to explain why a famous handsome man, or an extremely high social status good looking man, will refrain from being automatically disqualified by most women if he were to interact with them.  Whilst she may still feel a little uncomfortable or resentful towards his equal or higher physical attractiveness in comparison to her own, the lure of how he would escalate her external validation to the outside world overpowers this one negative aspect.  A regular good looking man does not possess this luxury of her refrained hostility, and instead he encounters her perception of him being unsuitable relationship material.

There is a conclusion with relevance to the first paragraph about dating younger women.  Although men may not realize it at the time, it becomes quite clear over a lengthier career of intimate interaction with the opposite sex: younger women have neither the dating experience, or experience of mind, to consider this whole value process.  They are like a young bird flying out of the nest for the first time.  They just want a bite of the most attractive worm they see, and they have no idea as to the challenges a strong worm may bring.  So it was more than just a coincidence after all.  Men of high value should not be blamed for dating younger women before their brains start to function in this insecure way.  Often, they are the only women not rejecting their advances.

A high value man, with the right confident woman, can easily negate her impulses for bad boys.  The fundamental reason women have compulsions for bad boys are down to their simple preferences for the positive points over the positive attributes of a nice guy.  Despite the apparent despicable acts formed from a bad boy’s negative characteristics, women will strangely disassociate, ignore, overlook or accept them.  Even more perplexing is their irrational and overblown irritability of a nice guy’s negative deliverables once the ego thrill of the idolizing phase has been saturated. 

A prudent observation is to place one man from each category around a group of women.  The nice guy appears jealous of both other men, as his advanced qualities are a mere irrelevance to most women in comparison to the other two.  The bad boy couldn’t give a care for the nice guy, but he is fully aware of the strengths he cannot compete with that the high value man possesses.  He can bully a nice guy in a game of female physical attraction, but he will concede that even his greatest attributes are negligible in respect to a high value man’s overall calibre.  Consequently, a bad boy will use his steely eyes to locate women with low confidence, even if they do have pretty faces.  The high value man cares little for either of the two other men.  He knows that insecure women fall for both types, even if these reasons are from the polar opposite emotional mindsets.  At the end of the day, he is fully aware that if a woman is inclined to be with a perennial nice guy or bad boy, she would be too weak minded to be with him.  Ultimately, the loss of this one woman, amongst millions of other beautiful women around the world, is no skin off his nose.  Whilst he will get rejected by many of these women, he knows that men of his unique type represent an exclusive group in respect to the whole male population who are in the market for female affections.

Tuesday 24 December 2013

Christmas stocking fillers: Santa Nice Guy or Rudolph Jerk?

“A love is for life, and not just for Christmas.”

As I’m such a great guy and in a good mood due to the festive season that is now in full flow, I’m going to throw out some rules of thumb in the sexual market that should now be rising to the surface of many consistent readers minds.  These stocking fillers will throw out any wasted time you may spend during the holiday season and beyond, in trying to impress the one you have vainly had your eye on for the last 12 months.  I hate to be a dampener in this season to be jolly, but call me the loving Scrooge who is saving you mistletoe money and an aching heart, if you will.

Nice Guy                                                         Good Guy                               Jerk
1          2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

Santa Nice Guy or Rudolph Jerk?

If the woman you are hitting on is the standard 10% to 15% hotter than you – as you will see in most heterosexual relationships under the female age of 35 - lean towards being a jerk.  On a general scale of 1 to 10 in ascending jerkiness when the circumstance is “man meets hotter woman”, aim for 6 to 7 in the early stages.  The hotter the woman, or the bigger the visual gap in her favour, the more of a jerk you will need to be.

If you’re hitting on a woman who is not as hot as you, then why the hell are you?  Seriously though, on the assumption that you are keen on her for other mitigating reasons, the pitch should be nearer 5.  One day you should be a nice guy, followed by at least one day of jerkiness.  When the physical blessings are roughly a match, the same process applies with the variant of starting at 6 as opposed to 5.

If you’re a good looking guy with a similar impressive looking woman in gender relativity, the pitch should be 6.  If she is slightly hotter than you, adjust to 7.  If she is cute but not hot, adjust to 5 ½.  Unlike average and ugly looking men, who have to keep a woman challenged from the first moment, a good looking man already captures the female eyes and an element of her uncertainty.  This automated assumption by women (especially women that don’t know the man personally) that he is a player or a jerk means he needs to show more vulnerability, attainability and proof of being a loyal boyfriend.  However, don’t lean too far to the nice guy side.  Good looks for men are not as valuable as an attitude that keeps a woman on her toes.

If a woman tells you she always falls for bad boys, realize this is through subconscious choice and not misfortune.  It’s never a bad time to remember that there are 6 nice guys for every 1 jerk, so a woman wouldn’t pick the 1 black ball in the bag over the 6 red balls every time.  With this in mind, comprehension of her holding predilections for jerks due to her innate character is imperative.  It would be easy for a nice guy to believe he is the one who can save her, but rest assured he will be the one to lose her by being too nice.  With a woman of this kind, a man should lean towards 8 to 9.  Only when he is confident she deserves, and requires, an element of romance should he tame the apathy down a level or two.

If a woman is the typical sweet, innocent and “butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth” type – as most girls come across and convince people they are – don’t let this cloud your objectivity.  Most women will always put their own welfare first, and if a better male option came along they would leave without a tear in their eye.  Most often, this departure is down to men acting too nice rather than too much of a jerk.  Women will tell you the opposite, but this is only to hold down their integrity.  With very little else to go on, pitch early on at 4 or 7.  Astute character judgement is necessary when contemplating the low end or high side.  If pitching at 4, this is risky because some women may lose rapid interest through concerns of a man being too nice.  But in most cases her ego boost that immediately emotes will give you this leeway.  Ensure you gradually move to 5 or 6 (from 4) in the scale sooner rather than later.  If pitching at 7 – hence more of a jerk – this is less risk orientated in the early stages due to confirmation you are not a supplicated guy and you have other things going on in your life.  If it’s clearly working well, stay at 7 but throw in isolated nice guy days.  If you feel you’re losing her due to her thoughts of your lack of interest, throw in an act of 3 or 4 before moving back to 7.  If in doubt, always start at 7 rather than 4. 

If the woman has an incredibly big ego and high self-opinion, don’t even think of pitching on the lower side of 7.  This is all the more pertinent if she is very physically attractive.  You may as well not even go there in the first place unless you hold desires for failure in the first week.  Women who are graced with huge egos are only there because they are surrounded by nice guys, uglier female friends and passive parents who have allowed them to feel like they deserve to wear a crown on the ever growing head.  These women may like this, but they don’t respect it.  Fundamentally, a starting ground pitch of 8 is required.  Any higher, and the roll of the dice is that her pride rules over her needs.  In other words, the ego inside talks louder than the respect she has for someone not idolizing her, and she may just move on before you can even take it any further.  But if lower than 8 she may simply tar you with the same brush as the growing flock of nice guys.  A woman of this nature needs an immediate kick up the backside to realization of her true place in the world.  Only throw in gratitude days of affection, time and money when she has given reason for her to deserve it.

If the woman is cute but clearly insecure, natural nice guys are tailor made for this female compartment.  Although the majority of these women will still have instinctive and sexual thoughts for more edgy men who are high in demand and low in commitment, most women in this bracket will convince their mind that the only types of men they need are excessive nice guys.  These women are rarely seen on girl’s nights out, so they haven’t been as exposed to bad boys as much as their more daring and attention seeking female peers.  A cuddly night in with her unwanted boyfriend beats all this.  At least, this is what she tells herself.  A nice guy can pitch at 1 or 2 and still get away with it.  She may become bored, but her faithfulness and loyalty is usually the reward.

The snap-shot explanations show a relative trend, and this should never be far from the mind of a man when in interaction with his girlfriend or female target: 

Too much of an extreme (1 to 2 or 9 to 10) is rarely going to be beneficial.  Excluding the magnified insecure woman, if only one extreme pitch could be taken then it should be to the jerk biased side.  The law of minimum effort for maximum results should be stamped on a naïve man’s forehead. 

Generally speaking, the hotter the girl, the more inclined she is to go for jerks.  This also applies for many cute girls who think they are hot.  This trend will show a gradual shift to the left as she gets older (in particular post 23), but her mindset will move slower than her physical decline.  Simply put, if a woman was once very hot and often found with the biggest jerks, she will refuse to change her ways before accepting jerks no longer want her.  Further put, she will refuse to believe men no longer find her attractive even if they have stopped looking at her.  So in the younger years – when she is hot – an extreme jerk with high social status is the ideal match.  As she gets older, men can (even if they shouldn’t) get away with a more even scaled approach.  Wealthy nice guys will frequently be found with this once but declining hot woman post her 23rd birthday, and more often still as her 25 year landmark approaches, but it tends to be a relationship based on her terms and his gratitude. 

Nevertheless, for the general process the message should be clear.  You wouldn’t train your body at the gym with the same exercises with the same intensity every time if you held desires for lasting improvements.  You wouldn’t stay in the same role of the exact same job at a lifelong company if career progression was your goal.  You wouldn’t eat the same meals each and every evening if the fulfillment of variation brought about different enjoyments.  And you wouldn’t go to the same holiday destination during the block-booked 2 weeks of every year if experiences and memories are what motivate you to get out of bed in the morning. 

Women are no different.  If a man acts with the same demeanour all the time she will soon find herself living in a mundane world.  As women aren’t very proactive in changing up their lives, they expect a man to do it for them.  As much as women will say they hold ambitions to find a really nice guy, this is their egos talking rather than their hearts.  Similarly, women may like the thrill of a jerk’s unpredictable and care-free traits, but eventually they look for someone more responsible. 

During my days in hospital, I was constantly alongside a heart rate monitor that moved up and down.  Being an investor in equities, I’m certainly not alien to the highs and lows of profit and loss on a daily basis.  Maybe these two charts were trying to tell me something.  Women, and their intensive emotions, require something not so dissimilar.    

Sunday 22 December 2013

The curse of male wolf-whistling

“An absence of motivation equates to absolute desperation.”

Wolf-whistling towards women in general makes so little sense from any man’s perspective that it defies belief some men still act upon this embarrassing and shameful move.  A wolf-whistle is up there with constant staring, excessive complimenting and uninspiring conversation, in performing the role of the perennial male “loser”.  There are 3 standout reasons why any acts of this kind are totally counter-productive in securing female sexual attraction:

  •  A man who blatantly wolf-whistles in a woman’s direction produces the interpretation of him wearing a t-shirt with words stating “desperate loser”.  What woman, unless from the absolute bottom 5% of female physical attractiveness or with next to no options in the sexual market, would choose to be with a man who gives off this impression? 

  • Wolf-whistling only succeeds in elevating women’s egos in general terms.  This is irrespective to whether she is ugly, average, cute or hot.  The more men who carry out these moves, the more the beast develops, and before you know it a phenomenon is standing in front of your eyes.  Boosting women’s egos only makes them unapproachable, less engaging and more unlikeable, and it can allow them to form an opinion of themselves that is far above the objectivity level.  Basically, it all feeds down to make it harder for men, especially men without knowledge of interaction strategy and female psychology, to feel relaxed and make the effort to validate her into potential girlfriend material.

  • Any man who fulfills an obvious delivery like a wolf-whistle proves to a woman that he likes her far more than the inverse.  True, men almost always need to make the first verbal move to interact, but it doesn’t have to be done in a way that confirms he is infatuated by her.  When a man has acted sycophant in this manner, verbal or otherwise, he has unofficially allowed a woman to believe her value is higher than his.  Women, deny it as they will, do not take kindly to this when contemplating a future boyfriend (or any intimate thoughts).  When she thinks he cannot do better than her, she automatically draws to the conclusion that she can do better than him.  Game over, gentlemen.

All the above concludes to the fundamental rule of thumb:   
When a man directly or indirectly strokes a woman’s ego, on regular and blatant occasions, he consequently succeeds in repelling her intimate longer term feelings towards him.

And as a side show, ponder on this from your astute experiences:

You see a cute girl in a bar.  There are two guys with similar looks levels, dress style and personality standing within her vicinity.  The first guy makes the decision to tell her how great she looks on a number of occasions.  He buys her a couple of drinks and he hangs around whilst asking her many questions.  The second guy has noticed her, but he turns his back or side towards her, he talks to other women, and he leaves the area where she is standing on given opportunities.  Two hours later, which guy is she giving hints to and hoping to take things further with?

Question: do you want to be the guy who makes maximum effort for minimum reward, or the guy who performs minimum endeavour for greater results?  Even if the outcome was of parity in the same time frame, why would a man choose to go the extra yard with women if there is no carrot at the end?  Never pay a price for a product that is higher than the necessity to successfully purchase and maintain.  If anything, the price paid should be lower than what it says on the label, as depreciation of the purchase and your lack of appreciation over time is the inevitable consequence.    

Nearly all women will allow people to believe they despise men wolf-whistling at them, or carrying out deliverables of similar nature.  Their immediate raising of the eyes would lead naïve observers to think they do genuinely dislike these acts of male desperation.  However, it is more complex than what meets the eye.  Women do actually like wolf-whistling per se, because it is a by-product of what makes them feel alive.  Only a dishonest woman will tell you she doesn’t get an ego boost and good inner feelings from male attention and compliments towards her physical attractiveness, providing it doesn’t border over to physical grabbing of some kind.  There are even some who like this rough stuff too.   What a woman is really saying is she doesn’t find a wolf-whistler sexually attractive, because a man acting in this way takes away her opportunity to assess if he likes her in sexual terms.  Women’s egos will tell you they like it when a man chases them and fights for their love, but you cannot run from what you see in reality.  Women, especially women with options, thrive on having to make the effort to capture a man’s heart.  Only after she has captured it should he start to display infrequent confirmations of his love. 

Wednesday 18 December 2013

Male high value and good looks: and how to handle it

“If you can take the positive traits from the good people you have met in your life and eradicate the bad things learnt from those of arrogant nature, the chances are you will form the most likeable of characters. And when you reach that point, you may wonder why your attraction to those you love has not developed one step.”

Sometimes it can be forgiven for thinking life is difficult for men.  They’re taught by their mothers to be good people and that life will in turn reward them for being this way.  They try to look after themselves by eating well, sleeping right and keeping fit at the gym.  And then they attempt to be ambitious to make the best of who they are.  So all this should ultimately make them more successful with women, shouldn’t it?  Well in this generation maybe the third factor remains true (if we were just to simply say this means getting a well paid job), but unfortunately the first two factors can, if not executed in the correct manner, have a total adverse effect on a man’s success rate.

Many writer or psychologists will have varied opinions on the characteristics of high value.  The words confidence, presence and attractiveness will usually find their way to the top of the high value tick list.  High value can be categorized into five highlight points:

Physical attractiveness – facial features and body profile
Charisma - presence in the non verbal sense / body language / dress style
Personality - verbal delivery and listening ability
Social status / Occupational status

If you can modestly say you’re comfortably in the highest 20% in 4 (or 5) out of 5 of these categories – assessed from the network of people from your own gender and relative age range - then this substantiates as being high value.

In a man’s case, does this mean women will be attracted to him if he succeeds in becoming a high value male?  Well again, it is more complex than this.  Before I give a typical chronological scenario to how a guy can develop in this manner, it is important to understand the ways many women would take view on a high value man.  On the face of it this is all a woman could ask for - she fantasizes over securing a good looking, financially secure and out-going guy, doesn’t she?  Well first of all this is 99% percent of the time what she will say.  But remember, as the saying goes - “if you want to find the truth in a woman, don’t believe what she says but watch what she does.”  This may be a general and harsh conception, but it will realm true with many women and the relevant situations that run in accordance.  Why would so many attractive women talk about handsome celebrity men, yet have a partner who is a good couple of levels below her in the physical attractiveness scales?  Most women are insecure about themselves at the best of times, so think about how this insecurity may be escalated if she is placed with a choice to go into a relationship with a high value man.  She has to feel she is superior to him in at least one of those five fields, and whilst she will never admit she feels inferior, she will probably consider it in her own mind every single day.

So the story of the man:  From around 18 years of age he starts going out to bars and clubs and he realizes a number of girls are giving him glances. This raises his confidence.  He buys a few new garments of clothing to enhance his look, he starts getting a few more looks from women, and this raises his confidence further.  Further down the line he starts going to the gym and bulks up his body tone.  Of course, this suits his look and also makes him feel even better about himself, and he attains more passing looks from more women (sometimes even other guys).  His confidence escalates to another level.  And a few years down the line he gets a couple of promotions and is earning decent money - confidence heightens even more.  As he approaches his mid-twenties his ego rises to the stratosphere and it seems to him like the world and women are his oyster.  He goes out, still gets plenty of looks each night, maybe he has some one night stands with females who aren’t really his type, and he repeats the same process the following week.  He’s even got to the stage now where he has such a high opinion of himself that he believes women will just approach him due to him being a self-proclaimed playboy or alpha male.  Some of his mates are a little envious, but most of them admire his stories of the weekend sexual conquests.  It never dawns on his friends that many of these stories are made up from nights they just so happened not to be there.

So life’s great for him, isn’t it?  Well, kind of.  Men are very seldom prone to confessing to vulnerability, mistakes or not being satisfied with their lives, this being to themselves, let alone their friends. But one day he wakes up alone, a little hung-over, and starts to actually admit that:

He hasn’t had many long term relationships.

He has had no, or hardly any recent relationships with what onlookers would call very physically attractive women. 

In a similar dynamic to women producing pre-conceived rejection towards men for feeling inferior to them, this guy will never totally concede the reality is happening.  In both cases it is a subconscious denial.  But there are only so many times his mother can ask him when he’s going to bring home a beautiful girlfriend for tea, before he finally has to face up to this being reality.
In these cases, how did it get to this stage?  Let’s go back to the list and tick or cross where he has struck gold or gone wrong:-

  • Physical attractiveness – Yes
  • Charisma  - Yes
  • Personality  - No
  • Wealth  - Yes
  • Social / Occupational status   -  Yes

The one failure mark against him at this stage of his life is the most important one, especially when you are a good looking and charismatic guy.  He probably had a fundamental good personality when he was that eighteen year old boy, but his problem is that his confidence has turned to arrogance.  High confidence is paramount in any man’s success rate with the opposite sex, but when it borders over this threshold to arrogance then people repel from him.  Only a select few men can get away with arrogance – these mainly being men of extreme fame and wealth.  The everyday man off the street will rarely have the luxury of this demeanour. 
This man made 3 cardinal sins:

He assumed women (even physically attractive women) 
would just simply approach him 

It was never a major problem because he generally either got looks from women that enhanced his confidence, or he secured liaisons with less attractive women.  Hardly any women actually approach men, and it’s likely that those that do will not be from the high extreme of beauty.  Most people don’t think outside the box when they analyze the way the female mind works in relation to their visual impressiveness.  Physically attractive women go against the grain – it may be viewed upon that they would be the most extroverted, engaging, secure and confident out of the whole portfolio of women, but usually it is the opposite.  These women need more reassurance, compliments and validation of their importance, and this acts as a feeder in their reluctance to take risks in life.  They would either not have the confidence to approach men or they would possess an unsubstantiated opinion that they do not need to approach men.

He didn’t work on his personality 

What most good looking guys fail to realize is that it’s actually harder to get results with physically attractive women than an average looking or above average looking guy.  Some female blogs indicate that women rate a man’s personality as seventy percent of what they need in a long term relationship, against only ten percent for looks.  Whilst some of these blogs lack credentials and accuracy, many of these women are telling the truth.  They trust attractive men less, and have, rightly or wrongly, a perception that the good looking men are arrogant, they are obsessed with their own importance, they are the most likely to cheat, and they have no personality.  So the moral here is that a man must work even harder to show attainability for a woman to feel comfort with him.  If he fails in this respect, that guard he sees in front of her will never move.  There’s an average looking guy ready to take his place in the click of a finger, and she will have no hesitancy in giving him an opportunity.

He never worked on (or thought he needed) his interaction strategy 

Not dissimilar to point one, he basically thought these women would come and approach him, tell him how “fit” he is, and everything would flow from there.  Even in those opportune moments in the early hours of the morning when she was glancing at him, he just didn’t know what to open with in his approach.  And if he did get talking he was so excited he’d met a stunning woman that he fluffed his lines or came across as too supplicated.  An average looking man with attitude, presence and confidence will always strike a woman’s emotional attraction more than a good looking man who slumps around with poor body posture.  Women will critically fault a good looking guy just like any other guy, so if he fails the game, he fails with the girl.

But all isn’t lost.  If someone faces up to their errors then they are arguably in a better position than anyone else who lives in a glass house.  Sometimes it’s better to acknowledge your mistakes in order to move on.  The fact this guy is already at a high value stage gives him a head start.  He just has to work on the most important aspect - personality.  How does he do it?

  • Humility - play down his looks, job, car or any accomplishments.
  • Modesty - take compliments in perspective, know you’re a great guy, but don’t rest on your laurels.
  • Discretion - don’t tell her much too start with, thus creating humility, comfort and intrigue.
  • Listen and respond - let her feel she can talk to you about anything and show you care about this.  Allow her to do most of the talking and do not be afraid of conversation pauses or silences.
  • Strength - sure, you’re a great guy, but this great guy is no puppet.  Ensure she knows you could find someone as good as her without the baggage or drama she may bring.

Most women, even the most attractive of them, will engage with a man when he shows them all the traits from above.  They just need to feel they aren’t overawed by someone with high value.  As I have always said - help a tramp like you would assist the King of England, and respect the obnoxious executive no more or less than anyone else. 

Sunday 15 December 2013

Male face versus male body versus male height: what attracts or repels women the most

“You should never answer personal questions to people you don’t 100% trust.”

I tend to prefer in referring to a male glamorous look – a look that attracts women on a visual and sexual way – on more than just a simple case of stating whether the man is facially good looking.  This is simply because, in order to produce a real benchmark for male visual impressiveness that stands out beyond the many thousands of other men in your local area (or even further a field), the rational needs to be that little bit more rigorous than the random person is accustomed to be. 

To me, the term physical attractiveness is a more valid and credible way to describe a man.  The same can be said for women, but the criterion does not need to be taken as far.  This is because a woman who is a couple of inches below average height (UK average female height = 5ft 4 ½ inches) could still be seen as stunning if she had a top end impressive face and body.  Men will analyze the female face and body far more instinctively than the height.  But with men, height is critical to be truly considered within the elite looking men in the world.  So for young girls crying out that a cute boy band member of 5ft 8 inches stature is one of the most gorgeous guys on the planet, I’m sorry, this is not the case.  You’ll figure this out over time.  And on the other end of the spectrum sit the more mature ladies who bizarrely claim UK XFactor winners/finalists such as Olly Murs, Matt Cardle and James Arthur are hot.  No, they’re not.  This is just a blatant promotion due to high profile and male attainable look that attracts and comforts the average woman watching on the TV.  Women, and men, should always honestly ask themselves the question if they would find these people physically attractive if they passed them in the street with no comprehension to their fame status.

Now before I go on, I can already sense those readers screaming out that this post is only aimed at people obsessed with looks.  I should know as much as anyone that for men, physical looks are only a minor part of appealing to women, especially as the female age creeps over 23.  Many of my posts will cover how I associate male looks in the appropriate position.  But I do always believe, to attain a true understanding of women’s choices in men and men’s predilections for women, that a physical attractiveness grade for a person allows a foundation to consider the other metrics and reasons to how and why people get intimately involved.  In time constrained moments a person’s physical attractiveness is the only aspect we can objectively measure someone on.  If the world didn’t work like this, every heterosexual woman and man would be coupled off on similar visual impressiveness.  And we all know it doesn’t work this way.

So for a man, in order to be classed as an exclusive hot man - 1 in every 1741 males - he will need to tick all 3 of the following boxes:

  • Be 8/10< in facial looks.  This would mean he would be in the top 2% of facially gifted men.
  • Attain a near on body (hard to get this actual body) to what appeals to the majority of women - see below link judged by women.  This would stipulate him being in the top 2% of ideal body profile.
  • Height, as an absolute minimum, of 5ft 10 inches (the average UK height for men aged 16-34). 

With the above in mind, it’s all about the good looks, appealing body and height combination.  This is what sets a man apart from the crowd. Sure, some women may genuinely not find this look attractive (most that say this will be lying or playing with the truth due to him not being attainable to her own grade), but generally you would find a consensus that backs this up.

However, by ticking these boxes, it only tells half the story in actually how a man would be received, accepted or dismissed by a woman.  The types of men that women find the most sexually attractive are rarely the men that women walk alongside as their sexual long term partners.  A large explanation to this is because the vast majority of women will not be as physically attractive as these men in relative terms, and very few women are comfortable with this predicament no matter how genuine a guy he is.  In addition to this, men usually desire to “grade up” rather than “grade down” in this respect.  Women also place more emphasis on being with a good provider in preference to male aesthetic value, and even if they have egos that do not subconsciously draw them away from highly physically attractive men, they will lean towards their inclinations of other desirable factors.

On a similar playing field, the below frames of men can be looked upon.  In this case, they all have the same personality, charisma, status, wealth, sexual prowess, intelligence, potential, etc.  Ultimately, what measurement of the male face, body or height is the most important to attract women?

Man 1 - Good looks, good body, above 5ft 10 inches height

Give or take, these are the 1 in a 1000 men.  Actually, a future post will explain how I believe it is 1 in 1741.  On first glance, with all else equal, this man has it all.  Nearly all women take a second glance when he is in their vicinity, and he appeals to the female eyes of all colours, nations, ages and physical attractiveness scales alike.  But as explained above, women do not take kindly to being in long term relationships with men of higher physical grade.  This will rule him out with the largest slice of the female population.  Even a hot woman - women at least as physically attractive as him in relativity - usually needs to have conscious belief that the public will have eyes on her and not him.  However, the positive part for him is that the numbers play in his favour.  Although he rules himself out with over 80% of women due to female egoism, trust and insecurity reasons, it is better to have a 15% to 20% (% of women who are open to his advances) chance with 99% of women who find him attractive, than a man who barely any women desire.

Man 2 - Good looks, average (or below average) body, above 5ft 10 inches height

A scale below Man 1 from above due to a lesser body, this man will strangely find a path to greater numbers of women.  They may not be as cute or hot as his counterpart with the better body, but more women find him attainable.  I don’t think it’s any coincidence that since I started working out and developed a muscular tone, I’ve received more glances and attention from women but consequently a greater number of rejections.  To my knowledge, I still have the same personality and I’m approaching the same amount of women.  So a less striking body can actually play in a man’s favour, but it could equally rule him out in securing the hottest 1% of girls.

Man 3 - Good looks, good body, below 5ft 10 inches height

This is where it gets tricky.  For women considerably shorter than him, he will be more than fine because height isn’t an issue in comparison to her.  Like all good looking men with good bodies, they will encounter rejections from women due to female lack of confidence, but they will equally attain more opportunities than their lesser looking male equivalents.  The problems start when he finds a woman he likes who is slightly shorter, as tall, or taller than him.  More often than not, his looks and body will not save him from the height shortcomings.

Man 4 - Good looks, average (or below average) body, below 5ft 10 inches height

Same predicament as Man 4 due to height deficiency, but slightly fewer opportunities due to less impressive body.  On odd occasions, with females of very low confidence and high insecurity and self-consciousness, his average body could play as an advantage because of a woman’s own body frailty obsessions. 

Man 5 – Average (or below average) looks, good body, above 5ft 10 inches height

This is the man you need to watch as the one who has more opportunities than any other man out there.  The reason this is the case is down to the perfect ingredients required for the female recipe that projects attraction but eases her ego concerns.  That is, a tall man who isn’t facially as pleasing to the eye as she is.  She is prettier than his comparative male looks, but he offers her security and an element of protectiveness.  The good body he has is an added bonus, because given the choice she would much prefer him to sit over the bar in body terms and under the bar in facial terms, rather than the inverse.  Look out for vast numbers of cute women and many hot women with these kinds of men.  If he attains above average facial looks, his opportunities are all the more prominent.  If below average, it will naturally be, in most instances, slightly less.

Man 6 – Average (or below average) looks, average (or below average) body,
above 5ft 10 inches height

Only a step behind Man 5, this is another man who will appear to have an array of chances to grade up.  In some cases with women of low confidence, he will even be in a more beneficial position.  Nevertheless, his opportunities with the hottest women may be limited to isolated strikes of the ball.  The hottest women usually need to be seen with a man who has an appealing body, if not face.  Cute women with inner doubts of their worth will swamp towards men in this category.

Man 7 – Average (or below average) looks, average (or below average) body,
below 5ft 10 inches height

This is where it starts to get towards the stage of taking the opportunities when given, because whilst it’s almost always an advantage to not be facially better looking than the target woman, and an impressive body may occasionally hinder rather than help, the lack of height is unforgiving for men looking to grade up.  The best case for men here is to locate a cute woman, or a short hot woman, with magnified egoism, insecurity, confidence and trust issues.  This is because a woman with these traits can only feel comfortable with a man who isn’t attracting other women or public attention.  These women are rare, because deep down they know they can do better.  If they don’t, they still end up resenting the situation of wondering and pondering.

As stated at the top of this post, so many other sexual market metrics are in place to throw this out the window.  But the counter-argument to this is that most men do have status, incomes, resources, potential and personalities of not outlandish disparities.  This is why the consideration to physical attractiveness, no matter how high or low he sits on the line, is important to understand when women select or reject the possible male candidates.  Sometimes a man is doing everything he can to be the most visually attractive man within his capabilities, but oddly this may be taking him in the opposite direction to long term partner suitability.

Nevertheless, men should not read this and think they can simply tuck into regular take-away food and beer to ease a woman’s egoism and discomforts in consequently making her feel better about herself.  The line is a fine one, and a woman still has to feel he is worth taking. 

Fundamentally, height is more important than an extremely good looking face or body, but it is no point being a tall fat man.  Height, with a toned body and average face, is arguably the best position to be in for the greatest number of opportunities for long term relationships.  The tri-combination of good looks, high calibre body and height is most advantageous for receiving female eye contact, attention and potential short term sexual encounters, but it usually won’t lead to the highest quantity of doors opening in being classed as good perceived boyfriend material.  Of course, if you were me, you would simply just try to be the most attractive man you can possibly be and view outcomes as a circumstance.  Any man who alters his physical appearance to suit a woman is a man waiting for a woman to lose any ounce of respect she had for him in the first place.  But whilst I disagree with this accommodating approach, I do understand that securing a girlfriend is what stands as most men’s priority, even if it means pleasing her before looking after their own welfare.  If this applies to men reading now, I warn of darker days ahead.

Acknowledgements and further reading