Saturday 23 July 2022

Women and phones in the gym


“When you reward failure, you create a moral hazard.”


Whilst this is nothing new, it has struck my attention more in the last few months than ever before in terms of the whole female obsession with their phones.  A bit like most of technological evolution, the benefits far outweigh the negatives, however the big negative is the ever-growing demise of human individuality and personality, deficiencies in interaction/social skills, and strong reduction in general individual confidence.

Why are women so obsessed with their phone?

I’ll bullet point the main reasons:

·       In relation to the explanation above, a phone acts as a comfort blanket to mask a woman’s low self-confidence level, inability to engage in eye contact with anyone she isn’t on personal terms with, and a source to not provide any level of unique character and portray of her existence in respect to how she can (and should) pleasantly carry herself out.

·       Women are fixated in being part of an “in-crowd”, and they are natural followers.  This links into an ardent desire (or at least a need to fit in and not miss out) to be part of as many social media goings on in their little networks as possible.  This acts as a default for many women to have an automated process to look at their phone every five seconds.

·       Women have a need to convince others, and themselves, that they are so busy, fast-paced, and with little time to give to others.  The reality is that a woman is never half as busy as she would like to think she is.  With this in mind, once more a mechanized delivery is to go to the phone on any given occasion in order to convince her busy life is such the case.

·       Similar to the busy natured mindset, a woman equally has a prerequisite to show others and herself that she is so popular to the world, and that everyone wants a piece of her.  Again, in practice she isn’t even half as popular or in demand as she would like to be.  With eyes glued to the phone concurrent to tapping away with messages, she can assure herself in a fallacy world that she is the most socially popular girl in town.

Q-tip 1:

A woman is never as busy or popular as she tries to, either directly or indirectly, convince the world around her.  Likewise, her world is not as full of drama as she holds desires for it to be.  This act can form a depressive mindset to many naïve men, especially men who are clingy and not experienced with women or men who are not sought-after by women, as said man believes she doesn’t have the time for him to satisfy his supplicated ways.

Of course, a man who knows women in a psychological manner, assisted heavily with his real-world experience around them, rises above this female act to play it to his advantage.  First, he basically ignores her vain attempts to emphasize her busyness, to the point where he makes her believe he isn’t bothered one bit if she is super busy or not.  Water off a duck’s back, one could say.  Second, he shows that he is actually busier than her, and flips the script to where she is convinced that it is in fact her who needs to fight for his time.  Women are always more sexually attracted to a man when it is her chasing him, and not the inverse.

The downside of her phone in the gym

Ultimately then, it is easily established why women hold an obsession with their phones.  In essence, it isn’t so much being obsessed with the phone per se, as much as being immersed in the need to conceal her weaknesses and promote her popularity. 

Nevertheless, if I could take a phone off a woman for just one hour in the day, it would be during the time she is on the gym floor.  I’m a busy guy with all things considered (granted, I have alleviated this to an extent over the last couple of years), but I have made it a compulsory action to never take my phone into the gym.

The reason behind this is quite simple.  Anyone who knows the first thing about gym training – and the conditions to optimise the results to attain the best body shape feasible – will know that the peak results are a ramification of a robust mind-muscle connection for every second you are within the four walls of the gym.  This includes:

·       Full mental concentration of each repetition or move.

·       During motion, visualising the end-product to the body you aspire to attain.

·       Short rest periods.

·       No (or extremely limited) conversation with anyone during your workout.

·       Stretching between sets/rest period.

·       No distraction or external thoughts that compromise the next set.

·       No frustration in your mind that compromises maximising the muscle-mind coordination.

·       No thinking (prior, during, or post a set) of something else to do after the last repetition.

·       No stress of external factors in your life (unless you can direct this to your advantage).

·       No eradication of mind-muscle connection due to work or social hassles.

And this is where the problem sits with most, including the most physically attractive percentage, women in the gym.  They just about fail on each one of the points I highlight above.  A predominant part to this is because of the distractions and obstructions a phone produces in preventing a woman from achieving the best outcome possible from her session.  And this basically means she cannot accomplish the best body she can plausibly show off.

Are women aware of this?

First of all, not many women strike me as knowing the first thing about mind-muscle connection when it derives to successful gym training practices.  I’d tend to think the nearest thing they could relate to mind-muscle is how quick her brain functions to her finger in striking the emoji button.

Second, even if they were aware of what they need to do in order to achieve optimum results, I think that the whole automatic thought-process to get her head down (to avoid any eye contact or human interaction) to the phone once her set has finished would rule priority over all else.

Third, whilst women (mainly the most physically attractive women) are ultra-competitive with each other in respect to inclinations to look better than their female peers, the motivation to train as productive as possible, in conjunction to consuming a healthy nutritional routine, is negated a good deal by the knowledge that there are innumerable mediocre men out there who will happily accept (and often be happier, such is most men’s insecurity in being with a hotter woman) her for carrying a few more pounds than she needs to.

A final thought – men and phones in the gym

Whilst on a median basis they are not close to the phone obsession and time-consuming level as women in the gym, there are still way too many men in there that I’ve seen who spend excessive schedule on their phones.  The majority of these men would be under twenty-five in age, but there are more than a few considerably above this age too.

Part of this reason, in my view, is because a high percentage of men have almost become a male version of a woman in terms of low confidence and in lacking originality.  Like women, men have become sheep and followers of what everyone else is doing.

Another reason is because they possibly feel that women are attracted to men who replicate what women do.  It’s almost like men have been convinced that, if you want to attract a woman, you need to show as many common practices with women as possible.  Pitiful if you ask me, but most likely sadly true.

Finally, most men also believe, with some anecdotal justification, that the best way to get into women’s pants is to be part of women’s social network gatherings.  This will often start with WhatsApp groups or similar.  Whilst this isn’t for me, I’m not going to be a total hypocrite as I do state that the best way to open doors to women’s open legs is to be part of their social assemblies.  Don’t get me wrong, women mainly use men in this respect for attention and to expand their social numbers and perceived status and popularity, but a minority of men will have some sexual luck this way – even if the woman didn’t find him at all sexually attractive at first.

Q-tip 2:

Women, whilst never admitting to this, are most sexually attracted to men who act in the opposite way to how women themselves act, and equally contrasting to how most other men act.  The reason women don’t admit this is because most men act in the way they (women) don’t want them to act.  With this considered, most women will end up with men who act like they don’t want them to act.  Sheer numbers logic, one could summarize it.  They will then say this is exactly the kind of man they desire. 

I guess, after all, pride is the biggest obstacle to overcome.  In the meantime, women will settle for what they locate in abundant numbers.

Friday 1 July 2022

How far can a preselected man be more attractive to women?


           “When a man with money meets a man with experience, the man with experience                              leaves with money and the man with money leaves with experience.”            (Suraj Dahal)


There’s a man in the gym in his mid-thirties (he has actually told me he is 35 when he nosily asked me my age during the first conversation) who has recently made me think even further on how far a preselected man (or at least in this case a man who is seen talking to a few attractive women) can be seen as more attractive to other attractive women, over and above his face value of male physical attractiveness, per se.  

A small synopsis of him:

·       5 ft 5” tall (therefore considerably shorter than the average man).

·       Above average (but not stand out) in facial attractiveness.

·       Bulky muscle and in good definition (clearly on some induced enhancement).

·       Tattoo sleeves on both arms, back and legs.

·       Constant use of sunbeds (something else he told me).

·       Very sociable (more on this below).

·       Very loud speaking (you can hear him from fifty yards away).

·       Walks around with headphones on.

·       He has a partner (don’t think he is married) and two kids aged around five and seven.

It doesn’t take more than two eyes to know he is far more confident than the average man in there, but bear in mind that the average age of guys training in the morning is about ten years younger than him.  Men of that age tend to be a lot more self-conscious and less confident, by and large, than older male gym counterparts.  When he interacts with me, and to be fair he does interact and always friendly acknowledge, I sense his confidence and inner security go south a little.  He doesn’t like to stand next to me for too long, yet he is happy to have long conversations with any Tom, Dick or Harry elsewhere.  This is nothing new to me though, as life experience has taught on many occasions.

 Can a man be too sociable in the gym?

There are two schools of thought when it derives to a man being sociable in the gym, and the respective way women will view this in terms of their attraction onto him based on this entity seen in isolation to anything else.

·       The positive of a very sociable man who talks to many people in the gym is that women are projected towards men with social status, popularity, and those who know a lot of other people (providing the “others” aren’t all losers).  With this in mind, even if a woman has no immediate sexual attraction onto said sociable man, the fact he is engaging with many other people in that same environment manifests to produce a woman who is now more interested in him.  And, it should be said, a woman who is now more open to taking things further with him because of this social proof element.

·       The negative is that a man of this excessive sociable nature comes across as someone who isn’t taking his training seriously.  The best workouts are a product of low (or none) social interaction.  Some women will frown upon this low training intensity and dedication, although based on the fact that women do not actually want men to look too good, this frowning is of a low percentage in both female quantity and expression.

With this considered, it is a fair assumption that an overly sociable man in the gym gains more than he does in turn lose.  Personally, I’m not a very sociable person in the gym, although I will always at least acknowledge someone walking in the direct opposite direction to me.  The explanation to this lack of social inclination is quite simple.  I simply desire for the best results from my workout.

A couple of recent anecdotes

About three months ago, this man struck up a conversation with the woman at the centre of this previous post.  Now I always say that any man who has the balls to talk to an attractive woman he doesn’t know personally should be applauded.  In a world where it is apparent most men are too scared to talk to cute and hot women they don’t know, or at least need to have Dutch courage in the form of alcohol in their system beforehand, I hail men who have the cojones to do this sober and without a care.

I had a good vantage point when I first saw them talking.  They may have talked before, but to me I was reasonably obvious it was their first conversation.  There looked extraordinarily little connection between them, and it was the typical dynamic you see of this kind:

·       The lesser looking man in relative gender terms out the two asking question after question in her direction, with no interest shown in return on the woman’s part. 

·       The lesser looking man clearly physically attracted to the woman.

·       The more physically attractive woman - with no nervousness or inferiority in her inner emotions such is his comparative lesser looks – lapping up the attention and questions, and happy to talk about herself for over five minutes.

·       The more physically attractive woman showing, on the face of it, next to no sexual attraction onto the man pursuing her.

At 5ft 5”, even a high percentage of women are taller than him.  This redhead is about the same height as him (maybe half an inch shorter).  As I’ve documented on this blog before, the vast majority of women, and even more so short women, do not tend to go for men of similar height.  Most short women actually crave for, and seek out, considerably taller men than themselves.

With that said, he carried on with his trailing of her for a few further weeks.  I’m actually being kind on the word because it was nearer stalking in truth.  I caught him on more than a couple of occasions looking around the corner of the gym, in planning when was a good time to pounce on her.  On every occasion, it was rinse and repeat of the above chain events.  Him being the chaser and expender, whilst she played the role of attention-recipient. 

Until recently…

Nevertheless, of late it is fair to say that her body language interest, enthusiasm and engagement projected onto him has increased somewhat.  Don’t get me wrong, it is still transparent that he isn’t nailing her or even close to doing so, but even another man mentioned that he caught her twirling her hair the other week whilst they were talking.

I’d hedge a good bet that she has caught him talking to another couple of decent women in there.  One of them is the woman in this previous post.  The first time I saw her talking to him was of more warmth than the smaller redhead in equivalent terms, and as he has talked to her increasingly over the recent weeks, I’m even starting to think that she is in it for more than just a bit of the usual female egotistical hunger.

I wouldn’t have put this woman, at about 5ft 8”, as someone who would have been interested, although nothing surprises me with women and their choices in men.  Just simply on a height basis alone, I didn’t think she would be captivated at all by him other than the exhibition necessities as described.

With that said, when you put the two factors together, in addition to my minimal history with this woman and knowing a bit about her, once more putting two and two together gives a near four sum of outcome.  This woman clearly is someone who gets off on a man being with another woman, and if she has seen him talking to little redhead and maybe another one or two decent women in there, this will ignite her attraction onto him.  I'm guessing he has mentioned his kids and female partner by now.  This kind of woman only feeds off these factors further, such is her competitive streak requirement against other women.


Placing all the ingredients in the pot, I serve you up this concluding platter:

·       A man talking to other attractive women can make other attractive women interested in him, even if they don’t originally find him physically attractive at all.

·       A man with only mediocre physical attractiveness (this man is only average, or slightly above, due to his shortness) will gain some attention from tattoos and steroid consumption, and it will act as a positive projection onto him.

·       Average to above-average looking men hitting on better looking women will receive far greater receptiveness and social engagement from said woman, in comparison to a better-looking man of her relative physical allure or greater.

·       Smaller women, all else equal, will be less open to taking things further with a man of similar (or smaller) height.  Simply put, she wants a taller man.

·       Ironically (and all else equal), a taller woman of 5ft 8” will often be more open to a man a few inches shorter than her than a woman of 5ft 5” would be.  This is because a tall woman will have subconscious thoughts that conceiving with a man taller than her will produce tall children.  This is fine if it’s a boy, but not so favourable if it is a girl.  Most women strongly want a daughter over preference of having a son.

·       Social class and intelligence play a strong part in women’s choices in men.  For the purpose of this post, the small redhead appears like she is from a higher social class and educational background than the taller brunette.  The man at the centre of this post isn’t the brightest bulb in the pack.  This will go a fair way to explain the variables in immediate interaction between the two women.  The redhead, in metaphorical terms, looks down on him in this respect, whilst the brunette seeks reassurance in someone not greatly more intelligent than her.

·       Average to above average looking (or overall physical attractiveness) men reap more benefit in being seen talking to a lot of women.  They also have a lot more leeway in pricking other women’s egos when seen alongside another woman.  A man at the top end of male physical attractiveness neither reaps this same benefit (often it can be counter-productive and a negative consequence), nor does he receive the same leeway of putting women’s noses out of joint when often seen talking to their female peers.

·       Even without the knowledge of what a man’s girlfriend, fiancé or wife looks like (but even more applicable if she is of the same physical looks level, or slightly higher or lower) in beauty terms, other women will be more attracted to a man when she knows he attains a female partner.

·       A high percentage of women are more attracted to a man when they know he is a father to children.

It will be interesting how all this turns out, but he strikes me as someone who isn’t happy at home with what he has got.  I'd say there is more than a fair chance, perhaps having birthed two children, that his better half is not close to being as sexually attractive as she once was.  Why else would he risk hurting a female partner, a mother of his children and, most importantly, the kids themselves?  I guess we live in a world where nobody gives a shit anymore about consequences and who they hurt, as long as they are happy themselves.

Q-tip 1:

Preselection with other women is one of the strongest, if not the strongest, weapons for a man to gain elevated female attention and attraction onto him.  Preselection is a by-product of social status, but not totally linked or aligned.  Even extreme wealth cannot compete with preselection.  This is why so many women will cheat on a wealthy male partner for a known preselected man.  It hardly ever happens the other way round, and there is an apparent reason behind this.

A final thought

Women who go out of their way to seek married men, or women who hunt down men who have girlfriends and/or previous baggage like kids from exes, are symbolic of female immaturity.  Female immaturity feeds on drama.  Drama nourishes on finding complications in life – to ultimately fuel the required drama a woman craves for in order to feel her life is so important and fixated by others.

We almost live in a world where, whilst immaturity was once condemned, criticized and pitied, it now appears a case that women like to be known as immature.  I can only put this down to women convincing themselves that if they are still immature, they are still young.  Apart from losing their relative beauty, nothing negatively moves a woman in psychological respects than losing her youth and getting older.  The two – losing beauty and getting older – go hand in hand in any case.

Q-tip 2:

You have to accept that >90% of women you meet will possess some kind of drama queen nature in their character.  You can only hope, or work out for yourself over time, that you end up with one who distinguishes between being entertained by the drama seen in other lives, but she doesn’t go looking for drama in her own life.