Tuesday 15 November 2022

Detecting a woman’s attraction or otherwise


“When you allow yourself to hate the game, the game has won the battle against you.”


It appears to me that if you asked the random man on the street (and I would say this applies to >90% of men), he would have little idea or comprehension regarding a woman’s projected feelings onto another man based on her facial expression.  Some men may, on gut reaction, have a grasp of the good or bad and positive or negative of this female expression, and they may in fact­ be right more than they are wrong, but I believe so few men have an understanding when it derives to the emotional psychology behind what forces her face to express the way it does.

The main caveat

The problem with an all-size fits analysis of this observation is that a woman’s reception of a man in her close vicinity, or a man who approaches her, will be influenced by a few factors.  What kind of mood is she in at that particular time?  Is she feeling confident, attractive and sexy during those moments, or not?  Where does she there and then sit in her menstrual cycle?  Is she in the comfort of her other friends (female or male) at the time you are nearby, or is she alone?  Does she possess intelligence, personality, and an ability to hold a conversation with someone not in her friendship network, or is she, with respect, a bit dense in articulation terms?

Unsurprisingly to many readers I expect, I believe the heaviest weighted component dictating how a woman’s face will uncontrollably default is down to said man’s physical attractiveness in comparison to her.  Exceptions will exist, just like in any walk of life.  Occasionally a fat and ugly woman may be pleasant towards a very good-looking man, and an extremely attractive woman may be unpleasant in the face of an above average (but not great) looking man.  I use these two examples with knowledge of the two most common female reactions you will see – ugly women being acrimonious towards the best-looking men, and hot women being very friendly towards above average (but not very good-looking) men – therefore when the inverse applies in both scenarios, it is very much the exception rather than the norm. 

Before we visit the images, it is critical to emphasize that all the explanations are based on exampled woman not knowing the man on a personal basis.  Sure, she may know and have seen him within an environment, but they have never spoken before.  Further still, it could be the first time she has seen him.  The reason this has to be stressed is because, irrespective of a man’s physical attractiveness level, or her own for that matter, a woman will nearly always be much more engaging and pleasurable when interacting with a man she knows, in contrast to a man she does not know.

Furthermore, the lion’s share of commentary for this post will be dedicated towards how the woman will express when around unknown men to her who sit at the top end of male physical looks (8/10 or higher) spectrum.  This is because the pictured woman as shown will by and large be approached by men who are near or of parity (and in tiny minority cases, men even above her) in physical attractiveness.  Nevertheless, and as this blog has illustrated and explained inundated times, men below her looks level (which will apply to >95% of men) should not rule out the possibility of her being open to his advances.

Q-tip 1:                                                                                                                                   Most men can attain women who are hotter than they think they can attain.  The barrier that holds them back in going balls deep and approaching these women is because their false psychological projection of their own way of thinking – in wrongly thinking women want the hottest men in the same way men desire the hottest women – makes these men believe said hotter woman will not be interested.

She is a very attractive young woman, I must say.  Judged on what we see (which will conceivably be photo enhanced and acknowledged that we cannot see her attributes from lower neck down), she is an 8.75/10 in physical looks grade in my view.

Q-tip 2:                                                                                                                                   Most women like her will be with a 7/10 to 7.5/10 boyfriend in male physical attractiveness.  This sits in the golden 15% to 20% rule – where a hot woman most desires to be with a man who is 15% to 20% less physical attractive than herself (which is a bit more than the usual 10% to 15% on a wholesale female deleverage preference basis).  Occasionally, but certainly not uncommon, this kind of woman will be seen with a man <7/10.  On extremely rare occasions (<3% of situations), this kind of woman will be seen with a man 8/10 or greater.

Top left photo is 1, with bottom right photo being 16.

Photo 1, 2 and (less so) 8

No prizes for guessing, but she is happy in said man’s proximity and is quite keen for him to come and talk to her.  Her reception will be positive, friendly, and engaging.  This by no means guarantees that she holds hard ambitions to pursue with him, but she might have if he can show her there is more to his offerings than just his admirable face, body, and height.  With this kind of female facial expressions, it would be a wasted opportunity in not trying to move things on with her.

Photo 3 and 11

Perhaps not so optimistic as above, however during interaction these playful (and somewhat immature) expressions still give off decent signs that she enjoys your company.  My concern would be that she would express this way with any other man, no matter how mediocre he may be, and therefore it represents a “friends only” kind of portray.  These faces strike me as a woman being a bit of an attention seeker, with truly little action to back up her fun-loving exterior.

Photo 4, 9, 12 and 15

This is where a man needs to start using his experience and knowledge, as expressions of this nature can be construed wrongly if not on the savvy money.  Whilst these are generally amiable, it is now reaching the stage where her little mind is sending out internal warning signs.  She has started to question the kind of man you are, and that you are a player, womanizer, poor boyfriend material, or generally someone who is not what she has a natural desire to be for a male partner.  All is not lost, however at this stage you need to give her a bit of reassurance that you have been involved in long term relationships, and that commitment is more your thing than pump and dump.  It may well be, sadly, that she has made her mind up that she does not see a next stage with you.

Photo 10

This expression deserves a segment on its own, because this is the down the middle equilibrium when she is neither overly positive nor negative in her feelings projected onto you.  She is clearly sexually attracted to you, although simultaneous messages are arriving in telling her ego to fight against her heart and physical inclinations.  I’ve seen this kind of look more often than I can remember.  You may have just a few split seconds to try and get her away from resistance, and onto an emotion efficacious.

Photo 14 and 16

These two expressions may appear vastly different on face value alone, but her subconscious sentiment is effectively sending back the same communication to her brain.  Photo 14 expresses amalgamated attraction yet caution.  Photo 16 magnifies awkward attraction.  In the case of the former, I would hedge my bets that in the vast majority of instances she will now not go any further with you.  With reference to the latter, a face of this kind, to me, represents someone who just needs that bit of, in spite of being very sought-after herself, consoling that she is good enough for you, and she could still feel special when with you.

Photo 6

This photo is not dissimilar to photo 10 in terms of her warmth level onto you, even though to the naked eye it appears less favourable.  Like photo 10, she is here caught between a rock and a hard place regarding her liking of your presence.  She isn’t feeling hostile, but she is equally lacking in natural comfort.  Sexual attraction is there on her part, but it may well be that she harbours no genuine intentions to get to know you beyond an environmental conversation. 

Photo 5, 7 and 13

You have either farted with her standing a couple of yards away, or her nose is simply put out of joint by your near, equal, or even greater physical attractiveness in gender relative terms.  Although 7 and 13 are more aggressive in sight, photo 5 is not much better as it still portrays a woman who is not too keen to see you.  Other than convincing her that you are a multi-millionaire and of high status, there is next to no chance of you turning this round into a successful conclusion.  Even your dollars and profile may not be enough, such is her priority to be with a lesser looking man in need to feel better about herself due to his comparative ugliness.

Q-tip 3:                                                                                                                                         A woman’s facial expression onto a man is a valid and effective indication to how receptive she will be with him when the two of them interact.  A woman’s facial expression is only a guide to how she may respond, and more importantly how she decides to resume in practical terms, when he attempts to take things further with her.




Tuesday 1 November 2022

Gym discipline, remaining monogamous, and maintaining integrity


                 “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”                         (Zig Zigler)


Reader Rolexhandyman asks for advice on the above three topics within this post title. 

Is there any chance you can make a post about your stealth discipline on going to the gym, remaining monogamous and keeping your integrity no matter the circumstances. Thank you, im going back to your archives, as I read one article every day and study your writings.

I offer the following:

Gym Discipline

I always remember seeing a quick video clip from LL Cool J about fifteen years ago.  Even then he would have been knocking on the door, if not already there, of forty years of age.

Now without proof, I would tend to think there was a fair chance he was on some kind of enhancement juice.  I certainly do not advise or condone this, especially as someone who likes to get to destinations in life the natural way.  With that said, and with consideration to the health risks of steroids or similar substances, it is only fair to say that it is a quick cheat way for men to look in better physique than the demanding work and discipline it takes via the natural course. 

LL Cool J was always well known, in addition to his (in my opinion, mediocre at best) rapping, for his cheese grater abdominals.  Again, this would most likely have been heavily assisted by induced benefits.  Nevertheless, I can never forget his words to the effect that in spite of getting older, it gave him great motivation and pleasure to try and maintain his excellent physique for as long as age feasibility allows.

In a nutshell, these words stayed with me for as long as I have lived, and it has given me the zealousness to never be one of those men who starts to slack off, piles on the pounds, and be proud to have a notorious (although some women insincerely claim they are attracted to it) “Dad Bod”.  I let myself slip around twelve years during a six-month relationship with a woman – where I put on two stone in this timeframe – and I vowed to never let this happen again.  I have stood by my word to this day.  For the record, this two stone leverage was down to a bad diet, as I trained in the gym just as much and as hard.

Q-tip 1:                                                                                                                                     You cannot out train a bad diet.  A good diet is worth double of a solid gym regime.

In essence, this would be my biggest advice on gym discipline.  It is not hard to get a session in during a day that consists of twenty-four hours.  I went through a year spell when I got out of bed at 4.15am every Monday morning, before an hour and a half drive to enable a workout before starting work.  My workout on these Mondays were no longer than twenty minutes.  There is always a way to do it if it means that much to you.

Consequently, I believe that the mindset in venturing to the gym in the first place is perhaps as challenging as the workout inside the gym itself.  With that being said, dedication and discipline once inside is paramount.  Most of the tips are embedded in this recent post.

Remaining Monogamous

In a world where fidelity appears harder and harder for people to abide by, it is a worthwhile question to ask how I have managed to do so.  It has not always been easy, and as someone who has attained far more opportunities to stray than the average man, my will power has been tested to its limits.  Nonetheless, to this day I have stayed loyal to every woman I have been in a committed relationship with.

I was brought up by one parent who clearly adulterated, and the other who might have done so without admitting such the case.  The marriage was toxic, my childhood was forgettable (yet bizarrely the things you try and forget are the things which are hardest to erase), and the horrible memories will stay with me until my dying day.

Due to this grim chapter of my childhood life, I think it has subconsciously made me never want to tread on the same path.  There is a fair chance that the contrition of cheating on someone will impact more negatively on my mind than someone who has little remorse to their actions, no matter how despicable they act.  

Another big reason for never cheating is having the confidence that, if a relationship is fading out into, at best a parting of ways or, at worst an avenue of hatred on one or both side/s, I have simply made the easy decision to break it off before cheating on her.  This has even been when I have met another woman concurrent to being involved with my (at the time) current girlfriends.  In my opinion, too many a man holds the fear that if he breaks it off with his girlfriend, fiancĂ© or wife, no matter how unhappy he is, he will never find another woman who will have him.  This will be why said man finds sexual alternatives in the form of affairs or prostitution.  Very often, this is when he is having no, or little, sex at home.

Be that as it may, all the above comes well behind the main reason I will articulate in remaining monogamous.  Simply explained, there is no dispute in my mind that I have been able to refrain from cheating on anyone because I have had numerous spells in life when I have either been single in comparison to committed relationships, I have been involved with women who do not want commitment - and just desire a friends with benefits set-up, and I have spent spells with women where they have not indicated they want a committed man (even if they actually do, but pride has stood in the way of them saying it). 

These noncommittal times have essentially made it much easier to stay faithful to just one woman during and throughout a committed relationship.  There has not been a great need – neither sexual nor emotional – to go looking for anything else whilst in a happy time with a woman.  I am wise enough to know that optimum happy times with a woman have an expiry date, therefore I make the most of it when there.

Maintaining Integrity

It is quite ironic, because only a couple of weeks ago I attended an online interview where the first question asked was how I would define values.  The first word that came into my mind, and so I said, was integrity.  When I elaborated on what I meant, I stated that honesty, morals, ethics and sincerity is particularly important in respect to what I give, and what I also expect in return.

This mentality and approach is extremely difficult to uphold at times because there have been so many occasions when I question how so many lying, bullshitting, selfish, backstabbing, self-indulged and self-agenda-oriented people seemingly coast through life with positive results, whereas those acting with full integrity, sincerity, selflessness and helpfulness appear to have it tough.

With all that considered however, I refuse to drag myself down to the level of people I do not like in character and conduct terms, no matter how much it does sometimes come across as those who act with nothing but their own welfare process being the one laughing to the bank, sexual partner, or any other offering in life.  If I can look myself in the mirror with pride and knowledge that I have been best person I could have been, then that will make me sleep easier at night. 

A final thought – on integrity

This question on integrity has come at a pertinent time, because just over a week ago I had a dispute with the dental practitioner on the subject of a tooth that was dislodged during their service a year ago for which they charged me.  I asked for a reimbursement due to it being dislodged under their procedure, to which they refused.  Here is the main part of the email dialogue:

Dentist: Without having expressed any initial dissatisfaction or having disputed the cost of that particular item of treatment, the small composite filling of the Lower Right 1 tooth, at the time or shortly after, we are now unable to refund or offset todays treatment by the £54.

Me: Thank you for the reply.

I cannot accept your reasoning behind this.  In essence you are saying that because I did not dispute it at the time, the refund is not being offered retrospectively (as you are essentially saying that had I disputed it at the time then you would have done so).  I find this a bewildering explanation, especially as you have everything on digital record.  Once more, I reiterate that it was done under your service and not by my accident.

I would like you to reconsider once more.  I will honour my appointment this afternoon as I do not believe it is fair to just cancel at this stage.  Nevertheless, unless you meet the levels of respect and fairness that I give to others, I will fully reconsider any further dentistry.

Dentist: A refund may have been issued at the point, or shortly after attending for the appointments on Wednesday, 13th October 2021, had investigation lead to the conclusion that the filling had been displaced due to clinical error. However our un-editable clinical notes do not support that conclusion and no reference has been made to dissatisfaction or uncertainty regarding treatment that has been received and has endured since it's placement.

Based upon internal investigation of written, computerized notes and verbal discussion regarding the appointments and the provision of treatment we have had to conclude that it will not be possible to offer reimbursement or an offset in relation to the small composite filling, provided to you on 13.10.2021.

Me: Once more your explanation is quizzical, and lacking in any kind of integrity. 

You mention "due to clinical error". How can this even be a dispute? Did I pull it out myself during the appointment? Yes, maybe I should have raised the issue there and then, but bearing in mind the facts - that it was done via yourselves - I cannot for the life of me see why a refund cannot be given retrospectively. I think, if you are being honest with yourself, you would agree with this.

Your point about uneditable clinical notes also takes some believing. I've worked for many businesses - large and small - and I know each one has the internal discretion to modify when required. 

Once more, I cannot stress my disappointment on this matter.

Q-tip 2:                                                                                                                                 When we breathe our last breaths, and we reminisce our last thoughts, the mark we made on life won’t be how much money we made, how much money we left with, the house we lived in, the car we drove, the people we socialized with or married or had children with.  The true definition of the mark we made on life will be determined by the difference we positively impacted on other people’s lives, no matter how long or short this time may have been.