Wednesday 15 February 2023

Should and do men fill their boots with women?


“Calling it a final day is only a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” 


Adrian asks for my opinion on the following topic:

Hey Vinay, I wanted to ask you what are your thoughts on Andrew Tate's perspective on a man being unfaithful and there being nothing wrong with it. Since men are biologically programmed to have sex with as much women as they can, and women can’t be unfaithful since they’re programmed to find the most suitable man and be loyal to him. Granted, he was talking about high value men. He said women shouldn’t accept this from the everyday man, but looking for a high value man comes with a price. And he also said these men don’t need to lie about it, they can be honest and pose it as a take it or leave it. I agree with what he says, but I wanted to know your opinion about it. If you do agree then should it be acceptable for a regular man to do so if he still is on the lower side of high value? (Not famous or billionaire but still standing out amongst men in financial, fitness, and life knowledge.)

My response:

Before answering the nitty gritty so to speak, let me place some basic principles to this subject:

·       Given the freedom to do so, and with full guarantee that their female partners would never find out (and similarly, nobody else finds out), I would estimate that >95% of men would opt to sleep with as many women as possible who they find sexually arousing.

·       Even given this luxury as explained above, there is still a tiny minority (<5%) of men who would still not choose to sleep with other women they find sexually attractive.  These are men who attain such a conscience and loyalty mentality that they just could not bring themselves to cheat on their better half.

·       Contrary to what women will try and convince society, the reality is that most men do not cheat.  Nevertheless, there is a distinction that needs to be established between men who do not cheat, and men who do not hold the self-attractiveness to cheat.  Simply put, most men are not striking the eyes of other women outside of his female partner (or any women generally, if he is single), therefore even if he would like to sleep with other women, the facts of the matter are that these women are not willing to sleep with him.

·       Most men who are in relationships with the most attractive women are not likely to cheat in the short to medium term.  These men staying faithful over the longer term will be far less prominent.

·       Men who are with in relationships with the top 0.1% of sought after women (women who are >8.5/10 in beauty) are most likely men who could also find other women to have sex with him who are equally (or slightly less or slightly more) attractive as his female partner.

I could list more, but I do not desire to repeat on further elaboration that will be explained.  With that said, I think these five points alone result in most of the basic fundamentals being covered from a male perspective on this topic.

My thoughts on Andrew Tate’s opinion on men

Andrew Tate is right on the vast majority of his views on this subject, providing Adrian has quoted him correctly (and there is no reason to doubt Adrian, in my humble opinion).  First, Tate is completely on the money in terms of stating men are biologically programmed to have sex with as many women as they can.  As much as men have female types, if you are a young (or older!) man who has just discovered porn for the first time, it unlikely this man will jerk off to the same woman day in, day out.  After a day or two, the tall blonde will soon be replaced with the short brunette or redhead.  Ditto if he spent a year in a playboy mansion.  He is not going to have sex with the same woman for the whole twelve months.

This analogy of porn and carte blanche sex household may seem like I am going off track, but my point is that men enjoy the variety of what the female species bring to the world.  With this in mind, very few men, with no negative consequences to consider, will stay faithful in fidelity terms with their girlfriends, fiancés or wives.

My thoughts on Andrew Tate’s opinion on women

As for Tate’s view on women – that women cannot be unfaithful since they are programmed to find the most suitable man and be loyal to him – is perhaps where I lean away from full agreement with him.  Without ever seeing any of his videos, this view of his strikes me as someone who believes a man with such high value (and I sense he is referring to himself in this bracket) is bullet proof from his female partner straying.

Let me start however with where I agree with him.  As there is such a tiny ratio of high value men in respect to the much comparable higher numbers of physically attractive women, I think Tate’s point is that, in her experiences and suffocation living in environments with men who she is not attracted in the slightest to (or she thinks they are not good enough for her), when or if said woman does find herself in the arms of a highly sought after man, her natural inclination, and common sense, is to do everything within her power to make him happy and keep him to herself.  Naturally, her loyalty and faithfulness come hand in hand with this mindset.

The part I slightly disagree with this somewhat ideology – that exampled woman cannot be unfaithful - is when she starts to find herself in the circles of other men who her high value male partner socializes or professes in.  Whilst at the beginning she was as dedicated and unwavering as can be, the sheer contextual hypergamous female psychology that a woman possesses leaves her vulnerable to having it off with another man as (or slightly more) high value than her male partner.  If you hear stories from professional sports teams or the music/acting world, where a woman is alleged to have cheated on her famous man with his colleague, the chances are this is sometimes more than just a rumour.

Q-tip:                                                                                                                                         No man in the western world, irrespective of who he is, would with an ounce of sense gamble his life on a bet that his female partner will never cheat on him.  There is always a scenario, no matter how remote or unlikely, where she could. 

In essence then, Tate alludes to the point that a woman with a super high value man should be faithful to her man, and never cheat on him in the process.  The reality is that, whilst this is true that she should be, and is, far more gratifying in said high value man’s arms than Joe Bloggs, it does not guarantee her fidelity always being in place.

High value men should be open about their gigolo lifestyle…

Andrew Tate states that, such is his extreme sought after value in conjunction with his female partner’s appreciation, a high value man of extreme measures can be open about his playboy lifestyle concurrent to having a female partner who he expects to stay devoted.  Whilst I never advocate such arrogance on a topic close to my heart, he is partly correct in so far that a lot of women will put up with this. 

No woman deep down wants to be cheated on, but women also hold strong inclinations to be with men who can cheat on them.  This tug of war in her mind often leaves her with no option to stay with her cheating male partner.  Statistics prove that divorce instigations based on female infidelity is equal to that of male infidelity (which would, without as many concrete facts, suggest that women generally cheat nearly as much as men in today’s world), but on an anecdotal perspective alone, it comes across to me that women (especially pre marriage) are far more likely to stay with cheating men than the inverse.

With all this considered though, no matter how famous, rich and in demand I could have ever become, I could not bring myself to be with a woman and ask her to accept me for sleeping with inundated other women.  For one, I have too much of a conscience, but perhaps more importantly is I would lose a sense of respect for my female partner too. 

If my main woman accepted me for sleeping around in her full knowledge, I would kind of see her as being cheap.  Once I construe a woman to be cheaper than she once was, simultaneous to losing respect for her due to her compassion and understanding of me playing the field, this would manifest to me ultimately losing a level of attraction towards her.  In essence then, I disagree with Tate in so far that, if I just look at it from a productive standpoint, the woman in this dynamic should just sit back and accept it for what it is.

A final thought

Adrian finally asks for my opinion on whether it is acceptable for a high value regular (but not famous) man to process in this way and expect his woman to abide by his “fill my boots” ways.  I think I answered it above in expressed disagreement, but I will detail a little more.

The first thing to say is that, if a man is only high value in regular terms, I wish him good luck in locating a woman who will go along with this.  I would expect this, in proof and knowledge terms at least, to be as common as rocking horse shit.  If you are high value, then you should be with a hot woman.  You will find it incredibly difficult to locate a hot woman who accepts you for putting your pork sword around, and why should she.  As much as women love men who other women want, women (in particular hot women) have big egos and fragile prides.  These female traits do not align with acceptance of being just another woman to his repertoire.

And once more, do you truthfully want to be with a woman who allows you to do this?  As the saying goes, be careful what you wish for.

A final, final thought – how men and women differ in adultery mentality…

To wrap this all up then, it is worth spending a few lines on the polar opposite motivations to why men and women cheat – and as a by-product why they like the company of members of the opposite sex outside of their relationship partner.

To bring it all back to the beginning, men are drawn towards a need in sleeping with other women (even though only a tiny percentage of men have the attractiveness to do this, if they so choose) due to one, their love for sex, and two, their desire of female variety.  In simple explanation, men think of their penises as pretty much the only motivator in this respect.

With women, it is vastly different.  Whilst women enjoy sex nearly as much, if not as much, with the hottest men as men enjoy sex with the hottest women, this sexual enrichment a man can offer her is secondary to other factors.  These other factors include the attention needs she attains in being with a man, the female inner feel good factor requirement that a man loves her, the need for female validation that a man has committed to her (even if this commitment is for short term sex), and the thrill of being perceived and thought of as a better woman than her female competitors (hence why a lot of women try and secure men who already have female partners). 

This is why, even given the choice, a woman would only sleep with one other man in the simultaneous timeframe as being with her male partner.  It would be extremely rare to find a woman sleeping with three, or more, men.  On the other hand, a man would happily sleep with seven different women in the space of seven days.

In easy language, a woman’s need for attention will lead her to stray towards sleeping with another man, but this need of feeling good about herself has diminishing, in fact negative, returns on her self-fulfilment once it goes beyond two.  This is why most women will only play one man off against another, and no more.

Wednesday 1 February 2023

Black pill community – a poor choice


“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength.  However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then to do it."  (Ann Landers)


Reader komunisti asks for my thoughts on the following:

Hello Vinay,
How are you?
Hope you are well!
Might I know what do you think about the BLACKPILL community? Especially the Chanel WHEAT WAFFLES in YouTube, his videos about "all that matters in dating are look" seems brutally true to me.

My response:

I am not a fan of black pill mentality, although give a man the choice out of (only one) blue pill or black pill only, and I would advise him to pick the latter over the former.  Still, I do not believe a black pill mindset offers much positive productivity to a man.  I also do not think it bears much relevance to the pragmatism of what happens in the real world, especially in the community advice regarding how women choose men.

I will be honest up front though, and I confess to have never expended a great deal of my time to any black pill literature or information.  Why would I if I do not believe in the product, so to speak?  That said, I have read enough about it to know what it stands for.  To me, it by and large comes across as men who have given up on life.

Life is tough, I know this better than most, but are you just going to let life (and women) win the war?  I am certainly not going to let this happen to me throughout my one shot at life, that is for sure.  There are always ways to overcome a situation, no matter how murky, depressing or challenging it may seem.  You just need to find the solution/s, even if it does not arrive in your mind at that immediate moment.

Q-tip 1:                                                                                                                                         If you allow your mind to think life is one big problem, life will trample all over you without an ounce of remorse to your well-being.  If you break up that big problem, and chop it up into little pieces of problems, life does not attain as much kinetic energy to knock you down.  Being struck by a large asteroid will kill you, but fragmented pieces may only hurt you.  Once back on your feet, you will be better prepared for the next confrontation that comes your way.

What is my preferred approach?

I have always been a firm believer of the following five mentalities/approaches - amalgamated and interchanged (often improvised to suit the situation, or hence the woman, in hand) - that a man should bring into his life:

1) Red pill mentality

2) Extensive knowledge of female emotional psychology and habits

3) Proactive interaction strategy to manipulate a situation into your favour

4) Master your state of mind

5) Predict people’s likely reasoning and decisions

Let us briefly take one step at a time.  I will not elaborate too much as by now any person who has read this blog regularly should know the basic principles, and more, to a tee.

·       A red pill mentality allows a man to know that he should not live in blissful ignorance, he should accept the bitter truths that exist in life, and he should find a happy medium between cynicism and optimism.  In essence, he should not be fearful of what society thinks of him, but he equally should not be resentful towards the rigours and negative situations life throws at him.

·       A man should study female emotional psychology, and establish what makes women the way they are.  He should observe trends, learn from his life experience (whether directly or indirectly) with the opposite sex, and start to place pieces to the jigsaw over time.  He should accept that women are complex creatures, and being bitter towards them for this is neither healthy nor productive.  Nevertheless, he should be forthcoming in not being afraid of criticising them too.  Ultimately, what once frustrated you, is now no skin off your nose either way of the outcome.

·       Learning interaction strategy (game), and in turn being proactive in transitioning the theory into practice, will benefit a man during his peer to peer dialogue with women.  He will find ways to eradicate anti-game (i.e - being too nice, too passive, too agreeable, too feminine, too much of a lapdog etc), and then integrate discrete proactive positive interaction tactics with women (i.e – subtle “negs”, breaking the touch barrier at the right time, talking about the things she is interested in or the common ground you both have, getting a little sexual, closing the deal etc).

·       By mastering your state of mind, this is maybe the most beneficial attribute you will ever possess in life.  If you master yourself and your state of mind, you start to care very little about what people think of you, you become far more confident in your existence and offerings to life, and you spend far less time and energy on things that do not repay a mutual return in association with your endeavours. 

·       By predicting people’s likely reasoning and decisions, it forms a natural water off a duck’s back mentality within your psychological thinking that once again refrains you from spending as much exertion on things that once frustrated you and left you scratching your head constantly. 

In easy summary, all five deliverables manifest to decrease your disappointment in life, and subsequently (or concurrently) increase your satisfaction of life.

Black pill consensus that physical looks are everything

As a regular and dedicated reader of Women’s choices: men’s divorces, I am a little surprised in you, komunisti, for thinking this – black pill consensus that looks are everything in the dating world – is brutally true (as you quote).  You should have read enough in my blog to question this in-house black pill harmony.  Nevertheless, let us analyse it in segments.

First, and at the risk of you being better versed in black pill reasoning than me, if they (especially this Wheat Waffles dude) are stating that physical attractiveness is the be all and end all for both sexes, then in a way they are nearly half right.  As men are so engrossed in a woman’s physical attractiveness, aesthetic beauty is so important in women’s ability to attract men that any other factor is nearly irrelevant on an apples for apples basis.  It is only relevant when two women are at a very similar hotness level that a man starts to assess other female attributes – her personality, likeability, perceived (or proven) loyalty and faithfulness, or even (to a much lower extent) profession or wealth level.

With the above in mind, yes, physical looks are pretty much everything to a woman.  I do not doubt this at all.

Now, you probably know where I totally disagree with the black pill solidarity in their belief that women are only interested in men’s hotness level.  I actually do not know where to start in a disagreement argument on this, and quite frankly all anyone has to do is read dozens of posts I have devised over a decade to explain, illustrate, and substantiate on this subject.

With this considered, I am not going to base my contrasting view on multiple bullet points to debate against.  Instead, all I ask from anyone is to honestly (and I stress the word HONESTLY) answer the following:

·       How many hot women (8/10 or higher) have you seen with your own two eyes alongside boyfriends, fiancés or husbands (or just partners of some kind) who are equal or higher than her in gender relative terms with reference to physical attractiveness?  Now compare that number to the said same woman who is with a man 10%, 15%, 20%, or even >20% less physically attractive than her?

·       How many cute women (6.75/10 to 7.75/10) have you seen with your own two eyes with boyfriends, fiancés or husbands (or just partners of some kind) who are equal or higher than her in gender relative terms with reference to physical attractiveness?  Now compare that number to the said same woman who is with a man 5%, 10%, 15%, or even >15% less physically attractive than her?

·       How many women who are <6.75/10 have you seen with boyfriends, fiancés or husbands (or just partners of some kind) who are equal or higher than her in gender relative terms with reference to physical attractiveness?  Now compare that number to the said same woman who is with a man less physically attractive than her?

I think you know where I am going with this.  All I can say is that if you are seeing women with men as (or more) physically attractive than them, then you are living in a different world to me.  And I have been to many countries around the world to have a balanced and rounded view on this analysis.  If anyone disagrees with me (once more, stressing a disagreement based on their honesty), then I wish I lived in that world where women prioritize men’s look ahead of anything else.  Whilst I have always strived to not solely rely on my physical attractiveness, when all said and done it is my unique selling point, per se. 

Therefore, it would be in my interest for women to place optimum importance on the way a man looks over and above any other male desirability, but I am far more interested in reality than devising a make-believe fairy tale movie of life that clearly is not what I see with my own two eyes.

A final thought

To cut these black pill advocators some slack for a moment however, I kind of think I know what they are chomping at in terms of their misguided attempts of, maybe sincere but often insincere, guidance towards other men.  My hunch tells me that a lot of these men are average looking (say, 5.5 to 6.75/10, as most men below forty years of age sit between) men themselves, or even below average looking (which applies to most men above forty years of age), and they are seeing a lot of cute and hot women with above average (7/10 to 7.75/10) men.  These common sights align with reality. 

In simple terms, a 6/10 man in physical attractiveness views a 7/10 man as good looking in relativity to himself, when in fact a 7/10 man is seen (or should be seen) as no more than being above average looking from the eyesight of a good looking (8/10 or greater) man.  As there are far more men in the world who are above average looking than good looking, said average looking man is somewhat falsifying the truth behind what women are doing.  What the most sought after (cute and hot) women are doing is usually going for better looking men than the mediocre looking man, but they are not going for the hottest man they can possibly set eyes on.  In fact, a woman will nearly always, with deliberation, go for a man who is not as aesthetically blessed as herself.

I will be the first to hold my hands up when I start to see a prevalent changing of the guard – in seeing a higher percentage of women with men who are on similar looks terms at the top end of physical attractiveness – but to this day I see no sign of any transition.  If anything, the last ten years have just seen a gradual further illustration that women do anything but seek out the hottest men.

Q-tip 2:                                                                                                                                 There is an enormous ratio of women who enthuse over hot celebrity men, in relation to women (the same women) who opt to be with much lesser looking men.  At an estimate, this ratio is 20:1.  Never confuse what women say with what they do.

Q-tip 3:                                                                                                                               Always allow your objective and honest eyes to make the decisions for you before any other source of information.  Refrain from making your mind up on what others tell you is the truth.

A final, final thought

I was walking around Loughborough town centre the other weekend when I saw an attractive young woman (about twenty years of age).  Alongside her was a tall, dark, handsome, and slim/athletic bodied man of similar age.  It was such a rare sight that it stood out like a sore thumb.

The immediate conclusions I drew to this extremely sparse viewing were:

·       In a university environment (in particular a sport university), this couple dynamic will be more frequent than in any other social environment.

·       Equally good looking couples are more prominent at a younger age (16 to 22).  That said, they are still a minority occurrence at this age versus a couple consisting of hot woman with an average to above average looking man.

·       They are simply an exception to the norm.

Enough said….