Never primarily try to impress women

A decent client is hard to find.  A good client is extremely difficult to impress. 

And a very good client can seem impossible to retrieve once lost.

Although seldom directly spoken about or confessed to in day to day conversation, it isn’t much of a secret to how most women and men try to impress the opposite sex.  Women will try and look as physically attractive as possible in order to achieve this, with personality and positive long term girlfriend traits being secondary benefits.  Men impress women mainly through status (social and occupational) and wealth.  A man’s physical looks are important to attract women, especially with no other clues to his status and wealth, but his good looks become less important as women get older, and in particularly when the female stage of life passes 23 years of age. From that day on, the importance of male aesthetic value diminishes in a woman’s eyes as each month passes by, such is less priority on satisfying her heart in return of greater emphasis in finding a future husband and father.

It is pertinent to point out that women’s physical attractiveness will both attract and keep men interested.  She needs to look good at the start, but also maintain her beauty as much as nature allows.  A man’s status and money will most definitely attract women, but it by no means keeps them sexually interested in him over a longer period of time.  If you have watched more than a few movies where the hot wife lives in a multi-million dollar mansion due to the hard work of her wealthy husband, yet she has an affair with the pool boy or gym instructor, this is basically fiction explaining how nearly all female minds work in real life too - one man for provision, materialism and an easy life, and another man for fulfilling her sexual needs.

A couple of years ago I went for a drink with a tennis buddy of mine who is now in his 50’s.  He still manages to run around like a jack rabbit even at this age.  More importantly, he’s a great chap with a heart of gold, and he even took me to one of my chemotherapy sessions during that time in my life.  Unfortunately he is also too nice for his own good, and nothing epitomizes this more than the relationship with his wife.

As we drove down the country lane in destination of the chosen venue, he pointed at a house that had just been extended in structure.  It was on a reasonable sized plot of land, but in all the times I had driven past it wasn’t so spectacular that it took my eyes off the road (just as well with it being by the side of a canal!).  Maybe it is worth a million pounds, which whilst still very impressive, in this day and age wouldn’t be anything to write home about.

My friend went onto say that he hired this house out for the night of his daughter’s 21^st birthday.  I remember wanting to puke at the time when he told me this.  He had also mentioned to me in the past how his wife was putting pressure on him for the family to move to a more affluent area, and he only managed to dissuade her in trade of keeping the children at an expensive private school.  He had a decent paid job, but I know roughly what he was on, in relation to how much expenditure private school fees cost.  There is no way he could afford it all without struggling each month.

I’ve only met his wife a couple of times.  She looks quite a bit younger than him, but I’m pretty sure he told me they are of similar age.  Maybe this tells its own story.  In a world where a random 50 plus year old woman looks older than the random man of equivalent age, this dynamic – him looking considerably older than her - goes against the norm.  But then when you consider how he has incurred more than half a lifetime in working his guts off to supply for his material hungry wife and university educated children, simultaneous to her working three days a week in a voluntary (yes, unpaid) charity position, it’s little wonder how the opposing stress and pressure related existences have impacted on each mirror reflection.

Fundamentally, my friend is emblematic of the perennial and now accustomed 21^st century man trying too hard to impress the woman he is with.  Marriage and children most certainly do not help this predicament, because the commitment that these choices enforce, in addition to the price it costs to get out, manifests in a man more often than not taking the path of least resistance in constantly being a nodding dog.  The overall costs of accommodating female demands are usually more than what a man can afford, and if he can by the skin of his teeth just about afford them, he rarely has anything left for himself.   

Whether it be houses, cars, dress style, general appearance, tattoos, weight loss, muscle increase, career progression, accomplishments, friendships, or any other path you choose in life, a man should, with compromise accepted (providing it is abided by both parties), make decisions that primarily are for his benefit, and not to impress women.  If women are attracted and impressed as a by-product, then happy days, but this is exactly how it should be viewed – secondary against the reasons he does it for himself. 

Whether we like it or not, we live in a modern day western world of celebrity magazines, reality TV programs, tabloid exploitation of the rich and famous earnings, and celebrity gossip.  Add onto this the negative predicament what social media has on a woman’s mind, in visual broadcasting of how “happy” her peers are.  Despite all the high fives, “go girl” comments, and fake compliments, this only compounds a woman’s jealousy and demands for her to own and experience more than what she has.  It is essentially a beast that is never full after a feast.

What is the solution?

In essence, there are only two ways a man can counteract this ever growing sorry state of affairs:

• First, you entirely avoid placing yourself in a position where you abide by the “keeping up with the Jones” thought process.  Avoiding marriage goes a long way in achieving this, but a greater requirement is leading from grass roots mentality upwards.  In other words, if you can install a belief that a woman is one commodity in a world of millions, and that essentially she can be replaced easily and changed accordingly, it is far easier to say “no” than to concede with “yes”.  What’s the worst that can happen?
• Second, you observe, recollect and evaluate the couples you have seen together.  This can be nothing more than what you see as you walk the streets or take the bus.  What you will find is the majority of genuine happy couples are scenarios when the woman loves the man she is with for who he is, and not what he is.  Look at a teenage couple, and in turn compare it with an older couple.  Often the young girl in love is with a dropout guy who doesn’t have a penny to his name.  The older woman, with no money worries whatsoever, strangely looks miserable (as does the man with her!).

And this should be a lesson for all men.  The happiest woman is the woman most in love with her man, and not the woman who is most in love with her assets, surroundings, or expensive dinner parties.  The happiest woman is the one who has to invest in the relationship with her own affection, money, time, compromises, and empathy.  She is the woman who, even if the next meal is no guarantee, strives to fight this day with the man she loves unconditionally.  She, when all is said and done, is the woman in love with him.

Q-tip:

There is an unofficial logic that leads to belief that women are attracted to men who act like them in certain ways.  Not in so far as being feminine, attention-seeking, or drama hunting (unless he is her gay friend), but more in the way of selfishness, prioritizing your own life before anything else, and following your own chosen path with little concern to others.  Of course women deny whole-heartedly that this is the case, and they will broadcast instead that they love and admire the man who is selfless, who puts others before himself, and who gives her priority on the path of life.  As always, you can believe what women tell you, or you can choose to act in the way that sexually turns them on and uncontrollably makes them love you more.

The only caveat

The only caveat I would make to all the above is with a lot of celebrity couples – who let’s not forget make up <0.1% of all couples in the world.  As this compartment has little significance on the real world, I almost feel like not even going there, but the explanation is worth it over the lack of relevance to everyday couples.

What you find in couples where the woman is with a rich celebrity goes beyond money and status.  As the sports, music or film star has already validated mate worth due to inundated other females being interested in him, in addition to the power and popularity he brings due to the profile he attains, the female partner is already organically sexually into him.  The artificial factors like big houses, flash cars, and a thousand pairs of shoes – hence from his expenditure and her none investment – is not a detriment to her short to medium term love, because she loved him in the first place due to instinctive and impulsive attraction onto him.

What’s in it for me to get married?

“He who refuses to accept the truth, is he who lives in vain hope to erase eternal envy.”

For men who have studied game concepts, red pill tuition, female emotional psychology, or just opened their eyes to see the truth once or twice in life, it will come as no fall off your seat statement that most men (probably somewhere between 80% to 90% of men) live in the world of blue pill swallowing when it derives to their views on women.  It’s strange to then think that some of these men come across as bitter, pessimistic and negative towards life in general, because you would think that if someone is prepared to face up to life’s tribulations, inconsistencies, unfairness and hypocrisy, they would find it more than adaptable to see women for who they are.  It probably has something to do with being obsessed with what a female possesses between her legs, and allowing this one factor alone to cloud their judgment. 

Of this vast majority percentage, some men are fundamental lapdogs who try and make out they are the boss in the relationship.  If you ever see that gobby, loud, brash big guy who makes out he has loads of women on the go and that he is in control of any woman in his company, yet then you curiously overhear him creeping up to her and apologizing pitifully on the phone, then this is your man.  It doesn’t matter how many tattoos you put on a man or how much bullshit he tells his mates, the only thing that matters is how he acts when with the respective female partner.

Much to do with the illustration of the above explained kind of guy is due to oneitis mentality that men hold.  Most men are run of the mill when it comes to attracting the opposite sex - certainly when it comes to attracting members of the opposite sex who are physically attractive enough in worth committing to – therefore when they land their dick in a moist pool they forget that women are indeed interchangeable and replaceable.  Even for every beautiful woman, there is a man who is tired, or will be one day tired, of dipping in the same puddle. 

Even men who do acknowledge that one woman is just one commodity can relinquish much of this necessary mindset if poor moves are made in life.  Ultimately, having children, whether through choice or female contriving, will tame a man that bit more than before.  If he sticks around and builds a family, his freedom to participate in much of the activities undertaken in pre-parentage life vanishes.  It’s never a bad time to remind men that women, despite their claims to the contrary, find a man more sexually attractive before he becomes a father to her child.  It’s worth repeating the “her” part to the last sentence.  Nevertheless, most other women will find him more attractive as a father, and this fatherhood label can be used beneficially if he is clued up enough to know why.

Q-tip 1:

Don’t be fooled by words from a woman claiming she has never found her man sexier since becoming a father to her child.  What he has ultimately done, in the short term only, is make her like him more for giving her what her maternal (and social network exploitation) instincts hunger.  Fatherhood makes men less masculine in human behaviour, and over time this reduced masculinity results in reduced sexiness – to the mother.  On the other hand, women outside the mother of his child find him sexier than before, because women are naturally and uncontrollably drawn towards what is more forbidden.  A man who is a father is more off limits, in theory, than a non-parent man.   

However, far more damaging than fatherhood is marriage.  Not dissimilar to pre and post becoming of a parent, the respective woman loses attraction towards her now husband in comparison to her once boyfriend.  Women are most charming when they have something to fight for, earn or accomplish, and they lose this charm once acquired.  Nothing epitomizes this more than marriage.  Once she has got what she came for, the man has very little more to offer her other than a family – something else she uses him for priority of her plans, ahead of the love of he, family life together, or his needs.

Then consider a near one in two divorce rate, and the less loyal, and more self-obsessed and selfish modern day woman that is commonplace of today.  Every woman will pronounce the vows for vows’ sake on the big day, but they will give up on the marriage at the first opportunity and leave without a tear in her eye.  In the meantime, the likely scenario of the man financially contributing far more into the bond over the years will disappear before his eyes.  She gave up on their partnership first, but she takes what I put in, he may ask in bemusement.  Unfortunately, this is just the way it is, say the court laws.

Male peer pressure

Of course, if most men belong to the blue pill world, it is a given to say that these men feel more comfortable in a world where as many men as possible join the commitment and marriage line.  The more married men in society, the less, in theory, men there are for their wives to cheat with.        

A man like me, whilst never saying never, who would not get married through choice, receives a lot of pressure from the typical married man.  My answer/question is always one of: “How can marriage benefit my life?” - to which this is usually followed by a pause and quiet acceptance of my point. 

Some men though are more aggressive on this non-conforming subject. I recently had a discussion with an early 60’s man at the gym who thinks it’s time I popped the question.  Again, my dismissal is intimated at putting if off as long as possible. He replied by questioning what if she gives me an ultimatum, to which my response is I’d have to strongly question whether she is the right person to place someone into a corner in such a way.  After more pointless reasoning by him, I just said “There are another million beautiful women in the world.”  He has been a little cold shouldered since that conversation.

Final thoughts

And I’d sum this up by using a married 60 year old man as a good example.  He’s out of touch with the modern day: 

• For one, less people are getting married year on year, replaced instead by shared living arrangement to compensate. 
• Second, men have far more alternatives today to mitigate the need or desire for marriage.  Women also have more options to abstain, but I still think that the general female craving for marriage is just as high, if not higher, than it ever has been.  It’s just that less will fulfill this dream due to male boycotting and refusal to conform to society preferences. 
• Third, weddings, marriage, family life, and satisfying female materialism and status needs are out of the lion’s share of men’s economic capabilities.  Many men are assessing the benefits to consequences scenario, with the latter thoughts far outweighing the former in both number and magnitude.
• Fourth, women are becoming less attractive – both aesthetically and in personality terms – for men to put their necks on the line like once before. 
• Fifth, and probably most important, is the fact that previous generations of married men are now coming forward, whether in general anecdotal chit chat with their buddies or anonymous online guidance, to warn younger men at the prime marriage age (early 20’s to mid 30’s) about the rigours and risks of married life (mainly their wives getting fatter, sexually withdrawing, and becoming more miserable), and inevitable divorce (emotional, psychological and financial negative implications). 

Q-tip 2:

The best advice about marriage rarely comes from a current, even if unhappy, married man.  His pride and desperation for marriage survival will cloud his honest words, up until he reaches breaking point.  The most genuine, effective and pertinent advice will arrive from the mouths of divorced men, simply because they no longer need to protect their wives or live in vain hope of a brighter day.  They have accepted the truth, and conceded their mistakes.  This is why many men in their 30’s, 40’s or 50’s will tell you that, if they were 10, 20 or 30 years younger, they wouldn’t go through marriage again. 

      

90% of men are kiss ass wimps

“A good thing in small doses is worth a bad thing in large doses.”

This 3 minute video from a few years ago will tell you everything you need to know about modern day western world culture, and the general human behaviour that goes hand in hand.  In the timeframe from then and now, these dynamics have only compounded further.

At the risk of being pedantic, I don’t think it is at the Arthur Ashe Stadium in Flushing Meadows, New York.  Is it even one of the smaller courts at the US Open?  Maybe, but the small points are irrelevant to whether it is filmed at a tennis, baseball, soccer or tiddly-winks match.  The point is in the people within.

With respect, the United States of America would be most prominent of viewings to this kind over other countries on the globe, but you could just as likely see similar instances in Canada, the United Kingdom or Australia.  It may just be that bit less obvious and infrequent in these nations.

We don’t know what the drunk younger man had been doing or saying to piss people off prior to the filming, but I suspect it couldn’t have been too untoward otherwise he would have been escorted out by that time.  A bit loud and full of obscenities, possibly, but nothing like placing anybody’s life at risk.   

At 0:09, the woman commits the first offence in slapping him across the face with full force.  Why should she get away scott free with that?  I thought women had fought hard for equality, so where’s the equality and consistency here?  Basically, equality in a female’s mind is totally biased and one sided.  If it suits her then great, if not, it doesn’t apply.  Had he slapped her, anywhere on her unappealing anatomy, heaven knows what would have happened to him in terms of reprimanding consequences.

From 0:20, the drunk guy explains, with full justification, the right he has to be there.  He had every reason to defend himself against a do-gooder who likely couldn’t tolerate his language.  I’m not defending people who constantly swear, far from it in fact, but it doesn’t give her the right to slap him across the face.

At 1:32, I couldn’t quite understand his words, but it rattled the old man.  My guess is the old man is the older “lover” partner of the unattractive and overweight woman.  Was it offensive against her, again maybe so, but the old man creates the bigger crime of violent conduct.  You can’t just take it into your own hands.  Had the old man broke his back when the two of them fell a row down, then he would have received my deepest sympathies, but it wouldn’t cloud my belief and rightful view in the objectivity that any injury, fracture or future disability he could have incurred was anyone’s fault but his own.

From 1:40 to the end, this is what makes me vomit more than anything else.  We live in a society where >90% of men (and people generally) performing the role of being lapdogs, do-gooders, whistle blowers and suck-ups who are more interested in being a follower of the crowd, irrespective to the facts, than to say it how it is and, in turn, focus on reality.

Now I’m not for a moment advocating that men should replicate the actions as seen from the drunk guy.  For one, getting drunk and acting loud is a symbol of self-control deficiency.  Second, he sways over and above the required firm but calm demeanour, and onto borderline aggressiveness.  Third, he could smirk a bit more - in showing the woman it means nothing but a crap to him.  To me, he allows her, and others in the vicinity, to believe her presence and interruption means that bit too much to him.   

But what he does well, which has to be admired and applauded, is to stand up to someone who doesn’t like him.  I further compliment him in ignoring all the armchair enthusiasts within a 10 metre radius who hide behind their gutless comments like a kid wrapped behind the curtains when their dad raises his voice.  As he says, he doesn’t give a flying duck what anyone wants (or thinks of him), and this is the attitude I like.

So as he does his thing, a few hundred weak men, with bored wives or girlfriends next to them, shout the “get him out”, “a bum”, “call security”, or “go home” comments.  Nice work, chaps!  I bet this gutless and politically correct approach really gets your female partners wet in the knickers….not.    

Spot the norm

You’ll notice in the video a quite cute blonde girl in the red tank top and short skirt.  Her boyfriend is the typical 15% less physically attractive comparison to her, and his unchallenging character is illustrated, epitomized and proven by his bizarre choice to record the incident.  She acts as if the drunk guy is such an outlandish jerk, and she probably tells people, her boyfriend, and herself that he is the last man on earth she would be with.  I’d hedge a fair bet that given the chance with the so-called drunk jerk – bearing in mind he is on the same looks level as her boyfriend – she would drop her panties for something more wrong.

For the record, had I been there with a girlfriend and she asked for my view, I would have told her exactly and honestly what I thought.  That is: he was acting too loud for my liking, whilst lacking any calmness that is accustomed with the top quality men, but at the end of the day he had far less to be guilty about than the fat woman and old man.  I’d have also told her about my disgust of all the male onlookers, and their weak, pitiful ways.  If she doesn’t like my view, I’m not asking for or seeking her approval.  All she needs to do is drop her knickers, not get pregnant, and give me the easiest life possible.

Q-tip:

Men who follow the rules, when it belongs to attempts in feeding women’s egos and making them feel better about life, are the men who women are repulsed by the most.  Men who stand up to the norm, within the parameters of legality and respect (although men who jump over this level are still more attractive to women than men who are predictable and boring), are the men who women admire and love the most.

I’m off for a long vacation to America and Canada in a couple of weeks’ time.  The first time I visited North America was in 2008, and I had no idea of game, the red pill, or female emotional psychology.  The same could be applied the following year in California and Nevada, although trends were starting to emerge.  By winter 2013, I had written a manuscript on the subject prior to starting the blog, but even then I still had a fair bit to learn.  Three and a half years later, and it all seems so easy to understand...