“Am I one step behind, or two steps ahead?”
In the space of two years since this article was published, I personally do not see, hear or sense anything today that would suggest women or men have stood away from what body type they strive to achieve, in relation to the profile they believe attracts the opposite sex.
This picture alone will tell you everything you need to know about the misconceptions, or perhaps genuine self-predilections, we live in when it derives in achieving a certain body to exploit.
I actually read this link some months ago, and the outcomes most certainly came as no surprise to me. This lack of fall off my seat moment was brought about by nothing more than recollecting a few conversations and observations from experiences, in addition to the undeniable trends shown when stepping out into the real world. You only need to hear the amount of men (some who I train with) who have an inclination or sometimes obsession to be bulkier at the compromise of being toned, and they will get there through any necessary substance possible, whether legal or not. Then I recall the amounts of ex-girlfriends, or female acquaintances, who appeared in desiring to be skinnier than their curves display, and no matter how many times you tell them that the vast majority of men prefer curves over skinny, it doesn’t seem to sink in. Or at least they don’t allow it to sink in.
The important and critical part of this subject to dissect is based on each gender’s motivation in aspiring to attain their “perfect” body type:
By clear majority, men want to achieve the body type they think will attract the most women, and usually this will mean wanting to appeal to the highest numbers of cute and hot women within their feasibility grasp. It is important to note that there is a distinction in attracting most women in comparison to attracting the hottest women, simply because most women are not hot, or even cute. With this in mind, >95% of men would give some of their body mass and bulk away in trade for easier access to the most beautiful women. In other words, with knowledge to what women are most attracted to, men looking like the beefier guy would swop for looking like the more toned option.
This can only draw to the conclusion that most men actually think most women like the more beefcake look, but as most men are clueless to what women want generally – emotionally, how to be handled, how much love to give them, gift expenditure levels, when to say no, etc – this doesn’t come as a shock to anyone who opens their eyes and comprehends how horribly wrong men get it.
The other point to men’s body achievement motivations is age related. Men above the age of 35 will have at some stage lived in the era of Stallone, Arnie and Van Damme, and as this decade or so led men to believe in and aim for, alongside a much different female taste from that generation, a “bigger is better” appearance, many men’s history, prides and ignorance refrains them from toning over bulking. It’s no surprise then that a decent percentage of beefy looking men, often on steroids, are above their mid 30’s. The women walking hand in hand with them are of similar age.
Unlike men, women’s motivations to seek an “ideal” body on themselves are not solely, predominantly or primarily born out of attracting the opposite sex. Now yes, if a lot more men were high earning celebrities and news came out that this privileged male group desired only curvaceous women, you can bet your last penny that any woman once wanting to be skinny would curve herself up. Simply put, if a woman could give herself that lifestyle, her principles, tastes or self-preferences would be thrown out of her all so moral window.
As >99% of men aren’t famous, women basically are more in it to please themselves than to please Average Joe – at least in their prime visually aesthetic years when they receive plenty of male attention and can afford to rule selfishness and self-preference over and prior to settling and compromising. What this allows women to do is, to a degree, take oversight to the body type men would like to see on them in change for what they perceive will make them most valuable.
Their perception of what is most valuable is a skinny frame (or skinnier than the curves men prefer on them), because in a world where they are constantly picking up celebrity magazines or checking out crappy reality TV shows, skinny women are prominent to their viewing. These skinny women are often with famous and rich men, so who can blame a self-centred, naïve and happy hunting girl for thinking this body type will offer her a better opportunity of this life, even if it is detracting the mass male population.
Another inclination for a woman to be skinny is the unofficial competition with her female peers. A woman will get a better feeling from being skinnier in comparison to her rivals than being curvier. It’s not until she starts to see curvy women with high quality men that her review system, gym regime and diet may adjust.
Other worthwhile notes to take down are how men prefer bigger breasts on women than a woman would herself like. I guess this once more goes in line with what women see on the rich and famous, although from my first-hand experience I’ve only ever known women to want bigger (or maybe firmer) rather than smaller tits. So this did come as a slight surprise.
Hair is an interesting one. The difference in a woman’s preferred hair on her in relation to what men want is negligible in the whole scheme of things, so we’ll close this page. With men’s hair, this is quite a difference. Men think women want a short style, whilst women prefer him with much wavier and longer locks. From what I’ve read, a curlier, wavier and longer hairstyle on men is here to stay for the near future at least. That said, a man will rarely lose out by having a shorter cut, and it is a much safer bet if in doubt that a longer style can be pulled off.
In conjunction with a curvier desire, men want a woman to have a bit more meat on her legs than the woman wants on her preferred skinnier frame. On the reverse situation, women want toned but thinner legs on a man. This won’t please the rugby players I know who advocate the only male body worth having is the one they require to throw around an oval shaped ball.
- Although these findings are more than valid to what women will find most sexually attractive on a man, bear in mind that each anatomy part has been based on male celebrity body belongings. This male perfect body devised by women will be what they find most sexually arousing, but don’t confuse this with what they choose in a male partner. The vast majority of women, even regular cute and hot women, will find this ideal male body too intimidating for their low confidence and high insecurity thresholds.
- With the perfect female body put together by men, this is the woman they would most want to date, sleep with, and marry - all else being equal. With men, what you see is what you get, with no agenda hidden or ego present (just an uncontrollable dick that rules his head!).
A final thought
So ultimately men would like women to be curvier than what women want to be, and women would prefer men with less bulk than the heavy weights, protein shakes and backstreet supplements are producing. Men are getting it wrong through blinkered eyes, whilst women more likely know what men prefer but are running down a different motivational treadmill.
This is why I chuckled some years ago when I first started attending the gym. A number of beefcake men tried to give me advice in getting much bulkier, and in truth I did need to put on some mass. Nevertheless, I always took note of the types of women who were seen with over-muscled men. They tended to be older women past their best days, and never the best looking. Often they would be dedicated to the weights and grip gloves themselves, with far too much female muscle that accompanied their wrinkly parts, fake tans, or drenched on make-up. What kind of man needs that kind of woman? Well not me, anyway.
And this is perhaps a good final thought to leave with. It is easy for a less clued up man to think that if he sees a young, very attractive woman in the gym, it is the assumption she also wants a man with at least as impressive a body as her in gender relative terms. This is not the case by clear majority. Because after seeing this woman for a few gym sessions, you then walk past her in the shopping mall with a man sporting nothing better than a mediocre (or worse) body. It often doesn’t look like he has ever even passed the bar of the gym. In essence, this woman is trying to look as good as she can for self-fulfillment, to look better than her female competition, and to locate the highest quality man (outside of male high quality visual blessings) to commit to her. This by no means translates to a man spending too much time in the gym.
In an ideal world, men would like 8 to 9 out of 10 women walking through the gym door (or any social or working environment) to consist of high level female beauty. The 1 to 2 women who fall under this bar is down to nothing more than a male emotion necessity of comfort and attainability, especially for less sought after men. On other hand, women would like the opposite scenario. They require a world where 9 out of 10 men are run of the mill (not ugly, but not too visually impressive), with the isolated 1 man to give them visual, and if they want it sexual, pleasure.
Acknowledgements and further reading