“The two guarantees in life are that we will change and die. Some take on change
because it feels right or like a smart decision at the time. Others feel like it is more of a
necessity to change, even if they are not quite ready to do so.”
You could argue media exposure on female decreased fertility likelihood from 30 onwards plays a big part in this optimum depression – if they are yet to take on motherhood. Another big reason will be the envy of female peers who have become mothers, even if these friends are with less sought-after men (which is usually the case – the fewer options a man has, the more inclined he is to hold desires to be a husband and father). Finally, there will be the voice within asking questions to what she has actually accomplished in life, coupled with family hints and subtle words to allude with this.
In terms of the 25 age as explained in the first sentence up top, this is a decent benchmark. It could be argued that in a smaller town this is brought forward a couple of years. If from a small village or the countryside, knock off another year or so. Smaller networks may bring about a non-career orientated woman (and let’s not forget most women are still not career-minded) due to fewer pastimes to keep her mind occupied. Women get bored easily, and they do not stick to much for long.
In larger cities, especially where a woman will reside in the centre, add on at least a couple of years to this 25 year yardstick. City centres will have attracted a high percentage of women who are university graduates, and a career to justify the financial outlay slows down the settling down phase somewhat. Whether educated or not, women who live in city centres will also be prevalent in being social media exhibitionists and attention seekers, therefore once more this self-centered motivation delays any thoughts of marriage and kids until the late twenties.
Nevertheless, taken as an average over all women, 25 is still a fair age to analyze the change of male type women transition through. From 16 (to keep it clean and legal, even though in reality many are at it from an earlier age) to 23, male physical allure and sexual appeal will be top, if not very high, on the priority list women select upon. At 24, this is most likely the year where she starts to reluctantly choose to stray away from the best-looking men if a more “rounded” male candidate is in her vicinity. At 25, strong thoughts and proactive intentions of finding the man who will commit to her take on the baton.
This is easier said than done though, which pretty much sums up why women end up unhappy. If on the one hand women have a mating strategy that draws them towards men who sexually arouse them and give them the most satisfying orgasms, yet many of these men are not high in commitment, responsibility, financial or even personality terms - hence, not great long-term consideration - this man cannot give her the tick in the box of a nice house, money in the bank, and a dependable father figure. If on the other hand women have another mating strategy that requires a man who can be provisioning, reliable, loyal, and who will value her and stick around, yet many of these men derive from the less aesthetically gifted and sought-after male population segment, this man can give her safety but not excitement. Life’s a bitch, right?
So, in a pie in the sky carte blanche scenario, if you offered them a man who could be manufactured to totally tick all the boxes in both categories, would women sign up for this? The obvious and naïve answer would be of course so, however women rarely play the logical role. My answer would be that they would like this man in practice, but not in mind. In other words, the Alpha man would never be the man she marries, but instead she takes on all the day to day tasks and offerings with the Beta, except bedroom activity and offspring genes.
A final thought
I was at a wedding with a woman I was seeing in the late summer of last year. It was a fairly affluent affair, as the bride came from a wealthy background and the groom a tier or two below maybe. Naturally I got talking to a few people during the day and night, in addition to my firm observations, and what stood out like a sore thumb more than anything (with the exception of a couple of women with fake tits!) was the jealousy in certain opposing male partners amongst the women. Those who were with the more boring (but wealthier) men were clearly thinking of a night with one of the few better physically gifted men that day. Those who were with the physically gifted men had to endure the stories of holidays, cars and nice houses granted to other women.
But it wouldn’t be fair to just pencil a mating strategy that solely exists with women. Men also, whilst not in totally the same manner, have a formula that works for them. A man wants a total whore in the bedroom, but a loyal, honest, genuine, presentable and likeable (hence, the gender equivalent to a beta male) woman in the day role. Where men do differ from women though is that, unlike women being attracted to the jerk characteristics of a man, he desires his woman to be likeable and genuine etc. all the time. She just needs to be as hot as possible in the meantime. This is what women cannot get into their heads. If a man ends up with a bitch (and clued up men should not end up with a bitch over a long period of time), it isn’t because she is a bitch per se. It is because she is a bitch who is a decent margin hotter than the more aimable women he could attain.
But it goes beyond that with men too. Any honest man will admit that in some stage in his life, most likely on more than one stage, he has indulged in a timescale of watching porn during single relationship timeframes or when regular sex is no guarantee. Any man who tells you otherwise is a liar. This honest man will also tell you that, with all the female pretty faces and good bodies to choose from, it is unlikely he will select the same woman to jerk over as the day before. Men like variety, no matter how beautiful the woman he labels his girlfriend is.
The other day I saw a hot long-haired blonde in the gym with high, tight shorts on who struck my attention. Her upper thigh tattoo only made me want to nail her more. I’d say she was 23. I know she has a boyfriend, so I didn’t approach. About ten minutes later, standing near to the blonde was a long-haired brunette with tight leggings on. Maybe a year older than the blonde. What she perhaps couldn’t compete with the blonde on in terms of leg and ass tone, she made up for it with a slightly prettier face and bigger/firmer boobs. Unfortunately, she was wearing a bling ring on the commitment finger. The point is that even if I was with one of them, I’d most likely want to be with the other.
Q-Tip:The brunette was giving me quite a few glances over. The blonde was far more discrete in eye contact towards me, but her proximity indicators would suggest some level of attraction. I don’t mind admitting for one single second that, had they not been in the same small real estate area at the same time, neither would have been so eager for me to validate them back. In essence, they were far more motivated by the competition between each other than their sexual attraction onto me.
In summary, women, and men, can never be totally satisfied with the partner they end up with, and this even applies to those who end up with good-looking celebrity partners. This factor merely delays the inevitable parting of ways. The mating market is effectively a food chain, and there is always something different on the shelf next week you may like more.
Hey Vi Nay,ReplyDelete
love the blog! I can relate here, even though I won't be mistaken for Brad Pitt, I had been striking out with women recently and have noticed they get these boyfriends uglier, shorter, and often times more out of shape than I.
I distinctly remember one that rejected me and I saw her a month later at the bar with her friends, she was feeling good, and when she saw me her eyes lit up and she was excited to see me.
But I could never understand why the girls who I thought were in my league/hot didn't want me, got the hamster wheel inside my brain going, and I often wondered if I was attractive enough.
In the end it all turned out for the best, I hit the gym, and turned the skinny fat body into a soon to be ideal body.
Q1. How much can a mans score increase going from skinny fat to ideal body?
Q2. What score would you give Ryan Gosling? I am somewhat comparable to him.
Q3. What percentage of women are above a 7? I know you said most are 6 to 6.25.
Glad you like the blog and it has some useful guidance to use in real life scenarios.
The first thing I'd say is that, depending on your physical attractiveness grade (and reading between the lines you are at a near 7.75/10 even before hitting the gym if hot women -I assume they are lower hot women, hence 8/10 themselves - were already rejecting you?), a better body profile will only isolate you even further from women's perceived attainability projected onto you as boyfriend material. Shorter term flings may also be a problem too, such is the female automated brain to feel inadequate next to a man/sleeping with a man. You will need to get involved in a strong social network where hot women hang around, in order to mitigate this somewhat "problematic" circumstance. Also, hit on women at least 8.5/10 or higher for better chances of success.
To answer your questions:
1) Depends on how gifted you are facially as a skinny guy and how tall you are? If already an 7.75/10 overall physical attractiveness, an ideal male body can get you to 8.25/10 imo. If average facially and of average height (or above or only slightly lower the average height), a full grade can be leveraged.
2) As I've said to many women before, if Ryan Gosling wasn't famous there wouldn't be even close to as many women saying he is a hot man (based on the same number of women being asked in both situations). In my view he is 7.5/10 - hence above average.
3) Age related, in answer to your question. However based on female age of 18 to 35, I'd estimate 3% (1 in 33, give or take) are above a 7. This is based mainly on UK observation, and I'd say America would be fairly similar. Go to a country like Russia, Sweden or Croatia and expect this percentage to be at least 3 times higher. Bear in mind that in all cases, it will be top heavy biased in numbers terms towards women aged 18 to 23.
Yes, most women in this same age bracket will fall around the 6 to 6.25 mark - Plain Jane to partly bangable range!
Regarding the question,
I'm 6'2" and facially I'd give myself a 7. While decent looking, I don't think I'm the cat's meow. Even though in my mind, I think I'm quite attainable, it sounds like I maybe selling myself short.
I live in the US and I have noticed when I travel to Europe the women do seem more open to meeting me. To me, it just feels more natural.
And pardon me if you've already posted about this topic, & maybe you can shed some light in a future post, but one thing that has been a struggle is the attainability part (and maybe most women won't give me a shot), but I do enjoy the light teasing/slightly sarcastic towards women.
However, for the most part this has failed to produced the intended results. While a few folks I know can say certain risque things to women,I find when I try light teasing women are sensitive to what I say and usually get offended/defensive.
Any advice on re-calibrating my personality a bit? I don't want to feel like I'm walking on eggshells around women, but I don't want to become doormat Mr. Nice guy either.
I think all comes down to knowing where you fall on the looks scale and then adjusting your outlook/personality to fit it.
If you rate your face alone at 7/10 and you are 6ft 2" (assuming you are in decent to good body shape), your overall physical attractiveness grade is likely to be somewhere around 7.5/10. If you go by my regular blog subscription that women go for men 10/% to 15% less physically attractive than they are, this means that, with exceptions, women under 8.25/10 are automatically going to reject you unless you know them through a network or they know something about your positive non-visual attributes - mainly status and wealth.Delete
European women, from my experience, do seem to be more receptive towards good looking men. Part of this is because don't have the big egos and self-centered/attention seeking traits of American or British women, and they are not as insecure. So yes, it doesn't surprise me your interactions with European women is more positive and memorable in a good way.
Onto the strategy/personality thing. I can relate, as even with my experience I don't always pitch it right today. The harsh answer is there is no hard and fast rule. One woman who smiles at you from a distance could be antagonistic when you approach, yet one who gives you little in signals could actually be engaging and likeable. With this in mind, you need to stick to what you believe in, even if this brought about some failures. That's just part of life.
My advice would be to smirky/pleasant/interested (in her)/slightly apathetic or consumed (to show you are a busy guy) all rolled into one. Don't over talk. You will sense her interest early on by the questions she asks you back (refer to post a couple of weeks ago I published). But to reiterate, I think you are worrying too much about what you are going to say, and not enough about the interaction. If a woman is interested in you, she will cut you slack for any misplaced words or poor delivery, yet likewise a woman will reject you even if you delivered perfect game - if she has a negative perception of you from the start.
Finally, yes, you are right about your physical attractiveness dictating how to pitch. Because you are already at the high end, you just need to talk more about general/common environmental topics on approach, and cut down on any cocky/witty lines. You need to promote a level of attainability, and screen for women >8/10 or the rare confident cute (>7/10) women.
Thanks very much for the reply - I will implement these.ReplyDelete
I had found this blog a few years back and subsequent forgot about it altogether. I recall going out a lot in the past few years a friend and I would comment amongst ourselves about how most of the women would go after the most average guy out there.
And for me personally, I never even considered that I could be too good looking for some women. I think when you haven't had the best track record of success with women and you look for advice they all tell you to push/pull, make jokes, etc.
But for the most part that never worked because I never understood that I didn't need to pump up my value, because I was already high value in a woman's eyes and that I needed tone down the sarcasm because she takes my words more to heart.
It still isn't quite full integrated because I do have consciously stop myself from joining in, but it will become second nature in time.
And if you ever publish that book I definitely want one! Just having this knowledge has helped me have a more balanced view towards women. Not taking it so seriously when they reject me and not getting down on myself, because now I know most of the reasons why they are rejecting me.
"I recall going out a lot in the past few years a friend and I would comment amongst ourselves about how most of the women would go after the most average guy out there."Delete
Dude I have this exact same problem!
Me and a few of my mates were out at a bar and all of them(3) were getting hit on except for me. I was getting A LOT of stares, quick glances and, as Vi Nay would probably say, "proximity" attention, but no girls approached! One came close, but turned her back to me and spoke to my friend... But just as you said dude, they were all average looking to below average looking. After I got home I took a hard look in the mirror to see if I was ugly, or had something on my face...
As you can see mate, this issues has messed with both of our self-esteems more than once. I wish you all the best, and advise to take it a badge of honour.