Women going from delight to disaster

“Life is about happiness, fun, and memories.  But at times, the foot has to be taken off this pedal if you desire for it to last more than a passing moment.”

In this post I referenced a very rare stunning looking woman that was to be seen in my home city.  Don’t get me wrong, there are more than a few women who catch my eye here, and in truth the last year has perhaps shown a slight increase in number, but it certainly isn’t a Madrid, Athens, Rome, New York or Sydney. In fact even towns or cities in most other countries with similar populations (approx. 250k) will have a considerable higher percentage of female glamour, but Britain as a whole falls a reasonable margin under the average yardstick in this respect.

This woman looked about 28, she possessed a pretty much faultless curvaceous body, and she was effortlessly pretty with long, blonde hair.  She had natural tidy nails, and even an engaging personality it seemed in the brief moments of what is now a cloudier recollection for reasons that will be explained.

A year ago I recall her being with a younger guy who looked about 24.  He was decent looking, clearly above average, but by no means on a level to compete with the best looking men.  She was surrounded by his friends – all typical run of the mill guys (in fact in relativity he was the stand out male of the group) – and I remember thinking that the way she was lapping up the attention signaled poor long term girlfriend material.  Still, great lay I would expect.

Then came a night out this year in early March – less than a year from the last time I had seen her.  In truth, I wasn’t having the best night ever, and by 1am I’d just about drank as much as I could stomach and seen every indifferent or unattractive looking woman out possible.  This blonde haired woman started to give me bed eyes, and came real close to kiss me before backing away.  Any guesses who it was?

She then seemed to try and get me to talk to her older friend who was sitting on a stool looking a touch bored.  This friend was clearly in the mood to talk to me, something that the feeling wasn’t mutual on my part, but I did the usual polite thing and at least listen to her uninspiring and somewhat bitter topics of conversation. Every now and again, the blonde woman would come back up to me in the repeat tease and back off maneuver, but then go on to kiss some other guy.

The other guy looked like her boyfriend from a year ago.  I couldn’t be sure, and he did look a bit more attractive than 12 months previous, but I’d confidently go on this basis.  The crowd she was gathered with consisted of a couple of local social proof guys – nothing to write home about, but just city centre hairdressers who may know, or be known by, more than the average person.  

It was only with squinted eyes and a good memory that allowed me to draw conclusions it was the stunning blonde from a year ago.  The body was still in tip-top shape, no question there, but I couldn’t believe how much older she looked facially.  With no exaggeration, she looked in her mid-30’s.  The pedicured organic nails had been replaced with oversized fake efforts.  An extra layer or two of make-up was pronounced to hide the wrinkles.  How could a woman age by 7 years in the space of less than 12 months?  Although the body was more forgiving to a change of lifestyle, the face was almost one belonging to her older sister.  She’d gone from 8.75/10 to 7.5/10 in a short space of time.   

She aged badly because it was the typical female scenario of trying to chase the social validation and popularity circle.  Too many nights out, too many late arrivals, a lack of sleep, stress formed from trying to keep up with the goings on and whether her life is as entertaining as the bullshit documented by others, and likely overuse of alcohol, cigarettes, cannabis and cocaine.  This would all be in conjunction with trying to hold down a regular job – and the early starts and long days that are accustomed to the most mundane occupation, let alone something more high-flying.  This lifestyle wouldn’t be advocated to even the most youthful 19 year old woman, so for a late 20’s chick who will find it hard enough to fight off the rapid ageing process that mother time doesn’t forgive once 30 approaches, bad move.

I saw her out again a couple of months later.  This time it was almost tear in your eye stuff, born through amalgamated laughter and slight sympathy.  She was walking around the bar on her own, drunk, stoned, and haggered looking.  There was no boyfriend to be seen, but she had that look of a stalking woman hoping to catch him out.  My guess, without proof, is whilst his value has increased in view of female projection onto him, he has seen his once stunning older girlfriend turn into someone he no longer desires to nail.  The natural course of events, for him, has caught up.  He now craves, and can obtain, a younger and hotter woman.  She could have taken a leaf out of his book and also abided by the book of logic.  That is, a 28 year old woman should have avoided any need of chasing the social proof, and placed maximum emphasis and priority on locating an older, less popular, but more ready-made man for a family life future partner.  I’d be extremely surprised if she doesn’t, deep down in her honest veins, aspire for this eventual existence.     

Ladies, my advice would be to think long and hard about these dynamics.  There’s no happy ending in real life if poor choices are made.  It may well make you feel better about your life in belonging to a popular group, creating drama, coming across as superior to your so called friends, or looking so special because a couple of apparent bad boys are interested in you, but over time you will regret it.  When you see friends years down the line who didn’t chase this life, yet they are the ones alongside much higher quality male partners, you might be prudent in taking a few seconds to wonder why.   

Q-tip:

When a woman searches for a man more than 3 years younger than her, you can be sure the motivation is born out of her youth, and not his youth.  Simply put, it means far more to her to believe she is special because a younger man finds her attractive, than the intrinsic attraction she has for him.