Thursday 2 June 2016

Alpha or Beta: Who does she want?

“A great man is not always and only someone who portrays his own greatness. 
A great man will, with his greatness within him, elevate others to new heights that couldn’t be reached without him alongside.”

I went for out for a few drinks the other night in Derby city centre during the bank holiday Sunday.  My lone company was one of my best friends, most certainly once my best friend prior to opposing paths taken in life, and the only person I have been assigned to be best man for during his route to become a husband.

My friend referenced is a couple of years older than me, and he is married to a woman four years his senior.  They have two young girls to who he would die for.  His wife is easy to get on with, her heart is certainly in the right place, but she is a bit of a keep up with the Jones kind of woman – very materialistic and status conscious.  I still think to this day she contrived the first pregnancy only a few months after they’d been dating and her 30th birthday had struck.  Nevertheless, of all the couples I know or have seen together, they do seem at the top end of genuine happiness.  So I guess it all worked out in the end.

My buddy is not a great looker, although by no means completely unattractive in a physical sense.  His skinny frame and 5ft 8” stature offer him no presence, and he doesn’t exactly walk with a swagger to compensate for these deficiencies.  Receding hair and pale skin tone are now accompanied by decent teeth after a two grand makeover (something his wife put him up to), and he has a reasonable style that shows he’s not short of a bob or two.  In fact, running his own I.T business will bring in, reading between the lines, a six figure salary.  Not bad when you consider he’ll never pay more than 15% tax.  I earn quite a bit less and pay a taxable proportion at 40%, but I’d tend to think I have more disposable income at my luxury.  But on physical attractiveness alone, he is a mere 6.5/10.  For only the purpose of this post, I have a summer look of 8.5/10 equivalence.      

In the second bar ventured in, a not bad/nearly cuteish looking woman tapped me on the shoulder and opened with, “It’s dare time…. Are you English?” The three of us had a bit of a laugh about it, and I mentioned how rare it was for a woman to be proactive and show a level of confidence.  Whilst clearly drunk, she did have an air of natural likeability and articulate conversational ability – again, something foreign to most self-conscious, insecure, ego-driven and fake exterior self-importance driven women.

The early signs were all transparent towards her attraction onto me.  It was the usual 80% to 90% eye contact with the guy she wasn’t attracted to (hence total comfort and no nerves),and looking only at me (due to discomfort and nervousness on her part) on briefer occasions.  She then asked whether we had girlfriends.  My friend chose to immediately say I was single (despite him knowing I wasn’t,) – most likely in knowledge of her interest in me and my love of women - and that he was married with two little girls.  She asked if I had any children, to which I blatantly told her not.  At this point, he went to take a piss and pitifully winked at us both when walking off.  This gave her the opportunity to touch me more than required (not that I was against it), but we did mention why he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring.  I couldn’t help but sense a level of attraction from her towards his marital and fatherhood label. 

When he came back, the talking point went onto where we lived.  She told us her residence was Willington – a fairly family orientated and affluent area.  My pal, in nothing more than total innocent and common ground fashion, stated how he lived not far from there in Rolleston-on-Dove – a couple of levels above her village in wealth status.  She then asked me, to which I gave her the absolute honest answer.  She tried to hide it as best possible, but disappointment was written all over her face.  For what it’s worth, if I put all my assets and mortgage lending facility together, I could live where both of them resided if I was that way of a sucker inclined.  I then smirked but seriously said to her, “I’ve always been the kind of man who goes for women who love me for who I am, and not what I am.”  Again, the words from her mouth agreed, but her body language showed how the comment hit a little bit too close to home.

The woman then started to proudly show us pictures of her 16 year old daughter.  It never fails to amaze me how deluded, oblivious and ignorant some women can be in thinking this will elevate a man’s attraction onto them.  Ladies, get this: all else equal, men are detracted to women who parent children from previous endeavours, unlike how the female mind is attracted to men with fatherhood profile created from sexual intercourse with female ghosts from their past or (even more so) present partners.

However, what this revelation allowed us to ascertain was her age.  Although she never actually announced it, she was somewhere between 35 to 37.  In fairness, she did look reasonable for her age, but it only takes a few glances of young chicks 10 to 15 years her junior to realize why any man with options wouldn’t spend more than a few breaths of air on her.  Or perhaps one night to relinquish easy needs.      

This is the chain of events to conclude the above, with some added extras:

  • Older (in relativity to the average female age of approximately 23 on a night out) woman being instinctively attracted to the best looking men.
  • Older woman being more likely to approach a hot guy than her younger, hotter female peers.  The reasons for this?  First, they have more belief in their personalities to hold a conversation.  Second, they don’t have the huge egos (due to not having as much beta male attention), fear of being rejected, or feeling of inferiority when put against the hottest men.  Third, they have learnt from life experience that the decisions to choose safe men are now a decision forming regret.
  • Older woman with a child nearing adult stage is more likely to put her heart (at least at first) ahead of her financial, egoism and future needs.  If the child was 10 years younger, less emphasis on sexual hunger and far more priority on a meal ticket are the ramifications.
  • Women above the age of 23 will start to find male physical attractiveness less attractive as time passes (even within a small timeframe of minutes) if other male desirability criteria such as occupation, status, wealth, residence and pre-selection are exploited by other options.  Even attitude and charisma will be hard to stack up against the aforementioned non-visual factors.
  • Women below of 23 or younger will place maximum emphasis on social status, secondary preference onto how the relevant guy will place her standing on planet earth, and then male physical attractiveness.  Outside of posh girls, there aren’t a high percentage of women in this age bracket who are too bothered about a man’s job or money.
  • Women of all age will put their own welfare ahead of the feelings of any man, or the implications that impact on him derived from their innate or evolved female mindset decisions.
  • A decent percentage of women, and in my opinion this percentage increases year on year, will even largely put their own welfare ahead of the child they have birthed.  Social media plays a large part to this self-obsessed driven detriment.

The final part of the three-way conversation came when she asked the two of us our respective age.  We asked her to guess.  Despite everything said about my mate’s physical shortcomings, he does look a good half dozen years younger than the birth certificate stamp.  She chose to say he looked only 2 years younger than his actual age.  Knowing that she would look totally deluded by saying I looked the same age, she chose to say I was an age that was 5 years older than most people think I look.  Compare this to a couple of weeks earlier when I was out with another friend and we were talking to some early 20’s girlies – who said I looked 7 years younger than the age stated by the older woman in this anecdote. 

Q-tip 1:
A good amount of women won’t say a guy looks the age she thinks he looks.  She will compare him with her own age, and bring it to suit her ego and agenda.  This tactic is most prominent with women in their 30’s.  Nevertheless, some younger women who are attracted to older men may go the other extreme, in saying these men look younger than they actually do.

Before we left the bar, my friend asked me if I was going to get her number.  I said to him if she asks for mine or she offers me hers I would do so, but I wasn’t doing any instigating.  When we went to the next bar he was quite perplexed, asking me how I couldn’t pursue someone with such a great personality.  I told him she didn’t physically grab me by the gut, and that I’d have no intention of contacting her the next day.  He, in a way married men getting monthly sex are prone to react, questioned what I was actually after.  I told him, in no uncertain but only honest terms, that it is all about levels.  Over the last year, I have been involved with women ranging from 7.5/10 to 8.5/10.  I have received numerous interest from others who sit in a similar looks bracket, and even the occasional stunner who surpassed.  This woman was 6.75/10, and it was on a night looking her best.  This oversight of her in comparison to his admirations isn’t arrogance, but just sheer reality.

Q-tip 2:
Most men, like my friend, cannot get their heads around another man stating words that lead to explanation he is more physically admirable than anything more than a half-decent looking woman.  This is exactly the case with him.  He questions (without saying it) that because she has a reasonable face and body, with a moist hole between her legs, how can a man possibly think he is superior.  The fact is this attitude of mine isn’t harsh, arrogant, cocky or dismissive.  It is simple reality.  And this reality helps you with the necessary interaction strategy when approaching or interacting with a woman, because whether we like it or not, a woman’s first thought is how she matches up against the relevant man in aesthetic terms.  Her receptiveness is most usually aligned to this self-thought comparison process.

But I have to admit that this night did leave me wondering what women in her position truthfully expect they can attain.  Here you have a mid to late 30’s woman more than a decade past her physical beauty peak, with baggage to suit, thinking she could possibly get with a younger man looking nearly a couple of grades above her in looks alone.  If that didn’t work out, she probably thinks there is always the fall back of the lesser looking wealthy guy who can treat her like a princess and give her an easy life.  Is this total obliviousness, or is it just living in vain hope?     

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