Sunday 17 August 2014

The best thing about being a handsome man

“Contextual analysis has many rewards. 
Perhaps the greatest benefit is never quite belonging to an infatuated nature.”

When someone is a good looking man – and to maintain credibility on this subject I mean the top 1% (in truth it is the top <0.1%, but for the sake of this post I’ll round up) of visually blessed men - he needs to know the world will look upon him that little bit differently.  This isn’t just in the eyes of women.  Whether it is in the workplace or social fields, a man of high end male aesthetic impressiveness will move emotions in people that the other 99% of men simply do not.    

It took me a long time to comprehend why certain members of society appeared to look much differently at me when I walked past their steps.  You can be forgiven for thinking they possibly look at many men in the same way, but then you assess a little further against how people act with innumerable other males out there.  It all seems a little different. 

But the stares are not the big giveaway, as this comes in the form of how people interact with you.  It could be an older woman who is kind of looking a touch in awe.  It is sometimes a senior manager or director at work – who has far greater occupational status than you, but in direct interface he seems somewhat awkward in his body language.  And then there are of course the younger women.  Some of them act in an almost embarrassed fashion that you are even talking to them, but there are also others who simply cannot cope with the thought of a man, god forbid, looking better than them and capturing the eyes of public viewers.  A woman is not well equipped in coping with another female of advanced hotness, so for a man to do it in relative terms disrupts her whole demeanour even more in a negative manner. 

I think, and although aware of this pronounced differential years before, that the pieces to the jigsaw seemed to join up after recovering from cancer in 2012.  The reason I say this is because during the treatment period of 9 months, eyes were no longer on me.  I wouldn’t say I went from being handsome to ugly, but the weight loss, hair depletion and basic frail, pale and weak frame placed me in the compartment of average looking men.  It was by no means a great feeling to lose this once accustomed luxury, but obviously I had far bigger fish to fry at the time.

I even surprised myself once in remission.  Although I lost a bit of muscle bulk, my body profile became far leaner and mean, and this is a harder definition for regular men to attain.  My teeth didn’t go dirty – as I had read this was a side-effect of chemotherapy sessions – and my hair grew back to its original colour and texture.  My skin seemed fresh, and my eyes were not a baggy and dark showing from the tiresome aftermath of various drugs and steroids dripped into my system.  For whatever reason, my jaw-line became more chiseled.  If I was to judge myself in an honest and unbiased way, I looked every bit as admirable in overall physical attractiveness as ever.  People were glancing in my direction as much, if not more, than before.  All in all, this stage in my life allowed a first-hand direct comparison between what it is like to be an average looking man and a good looking man.

During these reflective moments, both during and after my ordeal, I would analyze how different it is to be that very good looking man in terms of how he moves along in life.  This blog will cover various points on the topic, but I choose this post to highlight just one aspect.  In my opinion, the biggest advantage of being a male from proclaimed top end looks is the lack of infatuation with female beauty that is such a tell tale sign of a man who knows believes she is too good for him.  Simply put, good looking men are not stunned by hot and cute women in the same way lesser looking men look on with their tongues hanging out and eyes glued to the overrated vision.

But is this indifferent attitude a product of positive or negative projection from the respective women involved?  Two schools of thought can be taken:

  • The down side to this reduced admiration is due the female requirement to be valued, appreciated and feel good inside.  Basically, this is the ego telling her mind that a man who is always there for her is what she most desires.  Deep down, women know that, generally speaking, a man who is less physically attractive than her will go the extra yard to please her in respect to where a man of equal or greater looks than her will not.  When all is said and done, this is a female insecurity trait, but pressures to look good in the modern day has evolved some level of justification for them to be constantly informed that they look good.  Naturally, a man who has less pride in his own look will promote his girlfriend or wife more than a man who sees a proud specimen staring at him in the mirror.  I always say that a good looking man should value and appreciate his female partner every bit as much as a lesser looking man.  The difference is, because of options in the sexual marketplace, he is not as afraid to lose her.
  • The upside to not being infatuated by a woman’s beauty is that women are tuned towards thriving on a challenge to win a man over.  When he is a man with indifferent or apathetic emotions that shine in her direction, the female innate mentality is to fight that bit harder to show him what he is missing.  Women, deny it as they always do, don’t want a man to show his love too soon, too blatantly and too excessively.  Most guys do give and offer too much because they try and make up for the shortage of sexual attraction she feels with them.  To compensate for the shortage of visceral chemistry, a man’s default mechanism is to shower her with tokens of gestures, compliments and appreciative deliverables.  This goes against the fundamental female wish to struggle, battle and conquer the love that he could have given to someone else.  This shows her how high value he must be to not live in a world where she is the only thing going on.  A good looking man’s natural way of thinking in this way, in theory, acts as a free passage for a woman’s optimum attraction onto him.

So if there are two angles to decide upon, which one wins?  The easy answer is neither, but if only one extreme should be taken then it is always the Vi Nay rule of: maximum rewards by the way of minimum effort.  A woman may not always venture on with a man who implies she isn’t worthy, but you can lay your hat on the assurance that she will take an infatuated man for granted after the ego massaged novelty wears off.  If there are two journeys that lead someone to the same destination, it would take a fool to choose the longest route that consumes the most gas.

Placing physical looks aside for a moment, my general take is to evaluate both the woman you are interacting with – whether hitting on or in a relationship with - and your own physical attractiveness grade.  The bigger the gap between the man and woman (where she is more visually blessed), the less admiring he should be.  In this case, she believes she has him in the palm of her hands from the word go, so the lesser looking man needs to shock her system by not showing her his admiration levels.  The only exception to this could be if he is clued up to female emotional psychology, and by securing a date due to her need to feel good about life, he should subsequently tale off with a less motivated hunger to be with her.  Not many men are this astute. 

The smaller the gap in physical beauty, even to the point where the man is as, or more, physically attractive than the respective woman in relative gender terms, the more prudent it is for him to show a degree of interest and promotion of her glamour.  However, tread very carefully here.  Although women need verification that a good looking man will not go running once he smells the scent of a hotter girl, they equally never want to know he will forever be there for her no matter how badly she acts.  Many good looking men make this mistake, as because they are rejected by so many women due to female ego, insecurity, confidence and trust issues, they go too far with clinginess when they track down one who will be happy to be labeled his girlfriend.  If you’ve ever been that good looking guy who got dumped by a girlfriend in place of a lesser looking (but less caring) jerk, you’ll know exactly what I mean.

The top 1% of good looking men are usually rejected by women for the exact opposite reasons in respect to how the majority of men are turned down.  The lion’s share of the male population are not physically attractive enough for women to feel like they want to jump into the sack with them.  As women get older, they are no more aroused by these same men, but they will rationalize in replacement of other things these men can offer, in addition to the decreased choices they have with men due to not looking as good as they once did.  But the best looking men who are rejected by women are usually men who do sexually stimulate them.  They are turned down because the woman couldn’t feel valuable enough in herself is she was to be with him.  If this wasn’t the case, why did she look at him on various occasions in the first place?


  1. Very spot in in the Q-tip section. I've had women tell me this outright. They don;t like being physical with a man that they feel is superior in looks since it makes them feel ugly/fat/etc... Remember, it's all about how you make women feel that counts with them. You'll catch them saying this often "i love how I feel around you...". It's been there all along right in front of our eyes, we were just too brainwashed to see it.

  2. Most guys are clueless about women and fail to realize that comfort level is the most important aspect when it comes to attracting women. Being handsome is a disadvantage when it comes to dealing with women because they are intimidated by a guy being better looking than them and they always want to be percieved as the pretty one. A handsome guy has to deal with the fact that he is better looking than 95% of the women he comes in contact with and they are very resentful and jealous about his looks.

    1. Good point Izzy. It is a rare breath of fresh air for a woman to give an honest view.
      I would go one step further with analysis though in terms of your comfort level view. Let's say a 7.5/10 to 8/10 looks rated woman had a crystal ball, and (if all else was equal) she was informed that there is a 25% chance that a handsome guy would cheat on her, and a 50% chance that an average looking guy would cheat on her. I'd still place a fair bet that, in practice (although she would not admit this verbally), she would still pick the average looking dude.
      So if I'm right, your comfort level argument only stacks up to a point. I would have thought that a lower infidelity risk is a by-product of comfort, but if she didn't pick the man who was less likely to cheat on her in this case, the ego factor actually supersedes the comfort factor.