“You can
choose to walk past the unappealing boat that sails in your direction, or you
can opt to stand by the bigger ship in hope it journeys to the destination of
your dreams.”
Men and women - both species are human beings, yet with
personalities, habits and traits from different worlds it sometimes appears. Women will get frustrated with men, sometimes
for being too nice, for being too much of a jerk, for being too selfish but
lacking decisiveness, and for being too irresponsible one moment but too
logical the next. It almost seems from a
man’s point of view that no matter what angle he chooses, the road taken should
have been the opposite one.
On the other side, men will accuse women of being over emotional,
over irrational, illogical, and too disjointed from the real world. Maybe they are, but often it is also a man’s
lack of understanding to why they act in this way.
The sad truth is that many men, usually those who do not know the
fundamental differences between a male and female emotional brain, expend
wasted time, effort, energy and money on women, only to be no closer in
satisfying her in comparison to doing nothing at all. Sure, a man can’t keep messing up, but
usually it isn’t what he does that agitates her. It’s how he does it.
For example, two guys offer a woman advice on the same subject. One of them tells her what she wants to hear,
but he delivers it in a weak way that speaks out for her approval and that
lacks confidence but ignites in optimum supplication. The other guy tells her what she disagrees
with, but he processes his words in a manner of not caring what she thinks of
his opinion, such is his value of his own thoughts. Who does she respect the most? It isn’t the first guy. Who does she look at as a long lost brother,
and which guy is the one she is intrigued and captivated by: the first guy and
second guy, respectively. She may say it
is the opposite, but in truth it isn’t that important what she says in these
situations. What is more important is how
she acts on the back of it all. Why
isn’t what she says important? Well,
simply put, here’s a question: would a man rather have a woman who agrees with
him but who isn’t attracted to him, or one who disagrees with him whilst
undressing him in her mind? No matter
what, she will always forgive the one who races her sexual urges, irrespective
of his opinions.
Men dislike their girlfriends around other male company / Women are attracted to male “babe magnets”
Men dislike their girlfriends around other male company / Women are attracted to male “babe magnets”
For
clarity, women are generally as jealous as men.
It’s just that they conduct their jealousy in a different way, and to be
honest, a much more efficient and productive way than their male counterparts.
It’s
easy to refrain from realizing that most men, despite many female claims of men
being jerks or bad boys, are made up of predominantly beta male traits. Along with the typical passiveness,
clinginess, desperation and neediness, the highlighted stand out characteristic
of a beta male is jealousy. It goes hand
in hand with the situation: average looking man with a better looking woman -
hence why he is insecure of her talking to alpha men around her, or even other
beta males for that matter. Unless she
is totally smitten by her beta partner, and she doesn’t want to upset him in
any way, shape or form, her natural inclination is still to acquire attention
even when he is there. All the
pleasantries, money and personality he has up his sleeve cannot withdraw his
obsession of her temptations towards a better looking and more confident
man. You can often see this kind of guy
stood up against a nightclub pillar, looking worried, bitter and awkward as she
laughs away with those men who believe she should be with them instead of the
jealous boyfriend.
In
the reverse gender switch within the same situation, a woman will still act
insecure, envious and conscious of pretty women around her partner, but in a
bizarre way she finds this to be an attractive reaction in her. Not only does it show her that other females
find her man a catch, but it also serves as a challenge to her. All she has to do is grab his hand, and in
her mind she is the winner. Further to
this, a woman never needs a second to consider massaging her own ego, and she
can use her desired boyfriend or husband as a symbol to show off her value. By placing a kiss on his lips, it is like her
saying to other women “he’s with me, so I must be more beautiful than all of
you.” A woman doesn’t want to be with a
man that no other women finds attractive, therefore pre-selected men are seen
upon as a more prized asset.
Men
talk generally / Women talk about themselves
As
a man interacts with more and more women throughout his life - whether attractive,
ugly or average looking - in social time or at work he will become accustomed
to the vast differences to the output in how men and women talk. Now to balance all this up, there are many
men who are the most boring and uninteresting people anyone could possibly
meet, and they could talk the hind legs off a dead donkey. The subjects they talk about are usually
centred on themselves, but even if not they will still pursue in talking about
what interests them. On the whole
though, men are more inclined to talk in general form, using words of “that”,
“them”, “it” or “did you see?”
In
contrast, compare this to listening to most woman. If she is from the more physically attractive
extreme, the difference is further apparent.
Her opening words will more often than not include “me” or “I”, and it
will be a statement that directs the conversation towards her own life. Basically, she is only really interested in
things that involve her. She will ask
very few questions to other people unless it can be relevant to return the
subject back to her dilemmas. If you put
her in a group and open up a general topic, she will stay quiet or wait for an
opportunity to bring it back to her again.
There’s nothing wrong with this.
In fact I’d much prefer this type of woman against one who says nothing
at all. It can just become a little
mundane at times. The long and the short
of it is that she lives in her own life bubble and she is automated in
deploying the topics only relevant to her own life.
Men and women view relationships in contrasting ways
This
is an issue few men pick up on, and even when it’s over they are still none the
wiser. The thing is, it is a fundamental
clue to how happy she is in the relationship and a tell tale sign to how he is
doing and whether he needs to adapt.
That’s if she is worth it of course?
Over time, a man can start to create patterns to how past and current
girlfriends view their relationship a little more selfishly than he does. He needs to study her empathetic values.
When
a man meets a woman and they start dating, or even in long term relationships,
he will think about how good they are together, the memories they have created
together, the common ground they share, and how great they make each other feel
about life. He will inform friends and
work colleagues about the weekend they recently spent together, and his words
are relative to “us”. Naturally, he
subconsciously knows he is happy in himself, but he will spend more time
wondering, contemplating and hoping she is happy with him. Unless it’s a marriage with divorce written
all over it, his knowledge of her living in happiness is ultimately what makes
him happy in return.
So
with a man it’s quite simple: the happier the two of them mutually are, the
more hope there is for them to make it last.
On the other hand, it’s not so simple with a woman. When meeting for the first time, her
immediate thought response will be along the lines of whether she can feel
comfortable with him. Depending on the
guy she meets, her feelings range from a lack of comfort due to him having more
value than her, to her knowing there is not the level of chemistry as there
should be. There’s nothing wrong with
this, but it’s when she embarks on seeing him in a dating sense that it starts
to become more complex. She will be
constantly asking questions in her mind to how she feels in herself. There are some insecure women who will be
living in hope that she is the one for him, but there will be more of the
nature of self-concern to how her emotions are fluctuating. She has little concern to his emotions, and
she will assume he is infatuated to be seen with such a good catch as her. A woman will talk about the two of them to
other people, and she will be happy to spend time with him when all her other
female friends are doing likewise, but as soon as she gets the flavour for
nights out with the girls once more, and other opportunities will arise for
attention with more suitable men, she will be off without a moment’s thought if
she has indifferent feelings emerging with her boyfriend.
Men
prefer a low profile woman / Women desire popular men
Unless
it was a chance to score with a Hollywood actress, or a one night extravaganza
with the Las Vegas porn star, there are not many men who prefer a well known,
popular, attention seeking woman over one from the opposite extreme in being
feminine, caring and loyal to their man.
As guys, we may joke around with our mates about what we could do with
the local girl who gives it up easy, or more to the point, what she could do to
us. A one night no strings attached
experience is fine, but give us the choice between a relationship with this
woman against the “girl from next door” type and the vast majority would pick
the latter every time. We may go through
a phase when we choose a woman who can replicate a porn star chorographical
position, but as a good friend of mine once said in respect to these types –
“she’s just not girlfriend material”.
The
same cannot always be said for women.
It’s not that they necessarily or intentionally desire the men who have
nailed the rest of her netball team, but there is something within that lures
her into the spell of the popular man.
Providing he isn’t over elaborative by means of hand slapping all the
other guys who walk in - as this only shows desperation in trying too hard to
be known and appreciated - a male member of an environment who is being
acknowledged by every other man and woman in the bar will be more appealing to
most women than his better looking, richer and cleverer male opponents. Why is this?
There are two reasons;
First,
it shows off a confident, out-going and charismatic man who other people can
warm to. He is someone they like to be
around, and a woman will be convinced he would show her a good time, along with
feeling comfortable in his conversation and company.
Second,
it bounces back to her self-ego. If she
can capture a guy who other men want to be and women crave to be with, she
believes this places her value on his level, and more importantly, it
stratospheres her above every other woman in the room. She could be the quietest, most timid and
unconfident woman around, but in her fictitious mind she is like the local
celebrity.
Men
talk a little about a lot / Women talk a lot about a little
This
is a follow on from the second point, but with a discrete difference once
dissected. When we think of men, we
think of conversations relating to sport, work, friends, family, cars, travel,
money, television, weather, music and property.
When these topics are saturated, they will talk about their own
life. They are not for always stimulating
things to talk about, but they are just some of the topics they enjoy to cover
in conversations. With this in mind,
they can’t spend too long on just one subject.
It’s like the perennial playboy: if he has many women at his disposal
then he can’t spend an abundance of time on an isolated target. Consequently, it prevents the conversation
from being solely about himself. Some do
try, but usually the other members in the pack just shoot his boredom down.
Even
with women who are not self-centered about their own life and who do appreciate
there are another seven billion people in the world, they will never cover or
be as interested in talking about so many aspects of life. If you were to look at the above topics
covered by men, the lion’s share of a woman’s speech is relevant to her own life. This is often the reason you see a small
group of women not talking a great deal to each other on a night out. There’s less common ground, and unlike a man
using a general question to a lesser known acquaintance, women are less
inclined to talk about something that doesn’t shine on them. Some women are inquisitive, and those types
are a breath of fresh air when they show genuine interest in someone else. They are just rare to locate.
There are greater differentials between men and women than most people take on board. It isn’t that understanding every mentioned aspect has a direct impact on the implications or success within relationships, but once the distinctions are made, it is far easier to act accordingly once these scenarios rear their heads. Once a man does appreciate a woman’s ways, it will prove to be a far more enjoyable life. He doesn’t always need to accept all of them, as this would only succeed in becoming her puppet in life - and even the highest magnitude of female power freaks will not respect this kind of guy. He simply needs to tolerate them and be versatile, firm and compromising. A woman has often made up her mind on a man in the early stages of interaction, as perceptions rule over the reality in her mind. So from a man’s perspective, why not chill out a little on the way, and if the truth be known, there is little he can do to influence the thoughts racing through her head.
There are greater differentials between men and women than most people take on board. It isn’t that understanding every mentioned aspect has a direct impact on the implications or success within relationships, but once the distinctions are made, it is far easier to act accordingly once these scenarios rear their heads. Once a man does appreciate a woman’s ways, it will prove to be a far more enjoyable life. He doesn’t always need to accept all of them, as this would only succeed in becoming her puppet in life - and even the highest magnitude of female power freaks will not respect this kind of guy. He simply needs to tolerate them and be versatile, firm and compromising. A woman has often made up her mind on a man in the early stages of interaction, as perceptions rule over the reality in her mind. So from a man’s perspective, why not chill out a little on the way, and if the truth be known, there is little he can do to influence the thoughts racing through her head.
If
ever a man is ever annoyed, confused or in bitterness to how a woman has acted
towards him, it would be fruitful to remember there are a number of benefits in
belonging to the male gender and that women have a much harder time in many
aspects in life. This is all the more
pronounced as they get older. The
younger generation may not realize it yet, but in the sexual appeal, dating and
relationship market, it becomes more apparent and illustrated as every year of
your life passes by.
Not having this one.Maybe the first one is true but this is only cause it brings the guy to our attention.So if he’s a local or professional sports star then we can be magnetized.As for the rest, a load of bollocks.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the second one too but depends on the girls. I know loads of women who only talk about their life and family, friends, etc and I feel for their bfs. But some men bore the pants off me. My boss can go on and on and on about walking his dog at the weekends. Save me!
ReplyDeleteSecond that, men are as boring as they come.
ReplyDeleteTry to listening to yourself once in a while. What ViNay says is right to all of them. You’re just doing the woman thing and pickin exceptions
ReplyDeleteWomen are different from men, we all know that, just not as much as he makes out.
ReplyDelete3 is on the money and you know it. Compromise is a word alien to women.
ReplyDeleteAnd 5 too. Talking an hour in the office about shoes and handbags. Mwah xxx
ReplyDeleteThe fundamentals are right, but he misses a big point. Women see their life as a treasured life whilst men see their existence as a contribution. Look at how women and men view their kids. A kid to a man is his legacy. To a woman her little girl is just a picture frame of her former self that she can never get back.
ReplyDeleteSorry, men bully kids because they see their own life falling apart from failures. Women can take a step back and let them get on with things. This is why kids get on better with Mums than Dads.
ReplyDeleteWhen you go to a wedding you’ll see how they act differently. The man can stand back whilst the woman dangles the baby like a chandelier for all to see.
ReplyDeleteWould be borin if we were the same.Men are lapdogs so they allow their gfs to get away with all the fundamental differences.
ReplyDeleteSome men know how to handle them
ReplyDeleteWell if you were that good you wouldn’t have to be on blogs like this would you.
ReplyDeleteDo one, slapper………
ReplyDelete