Friday 18 October 2013

Five fundamental differences between women and men: part two

“You can choose to walk past the unappealing boat that sails in your direction, or you can opt to stand by the bigger ship in hope it journeys to the destination of your dreams.”

Men and women - both species are human beings, yet with personalities, habits and traits from different worlds it sometimes appears.  Women will get frustrated with men, sometimes for being too nice, for being too much of a jerk, for being too selfish but lacking decisiveness, and for being too irresponsible one moment but too logical the next.  It almost seems from a man’s point of view that no matter what angle he chooses, the road taken should have been the opposite one.

On the other side, men will accuse women of being over emotional, over irrational, illogical, and too disjointed from the real world.  Maybe they are, but often it is also a man’s lack of understanding to why they act in this way. 

The sad truth is that many men, usually those who do not know the fundamental differences between a male and female emotional brain, expend wasted time, effort, energy and money on women, only to be no closer in satisfying her in comparison to doing nothing at all.  Sure, a man can’t keep messing up, but usually it isn’t what he does that agitates her.  It’s how he does it. 

For example, two guys offer a woman advice on the same subject.  One of them tells her what she wants to hear, but he delivers it in a weak way that speaks out for her approval and that lacks confidence but ignites in optimum supplication.  The other guy tells her what she disagrees with, but he processes his words in a manner of not caring what she thinks of his opinion, such is his value of his own thoughts.  Who does she respect the most?  It isn’t the first guy.  Who does she look at as a long lost brother, and which guy is the one she is intrigued and captivated by: the first guy and second guy, respectively.  She may say it is the opposite, but in truth it isn’t that important what she says in these situations.  What is more important is how she acts on the back of it all.  Why isn’t what she says important?  Well, simply put, here’s a question: would a man rather have a woman who agrees with him but who isn’t attracted to him, or one who disagrees with him whilst undressing him in her mind?  No matter what, she will always forgive the one who races her sexual urges, irrespective of his opinions.

Men dislike their girlfriends around other male company / Women are attracted to male “babe magnets”

For clarity, women are generally as jealous as men.  It’s just that they conduct their jealousy in a different way, and to be honest, a much more efficient and productive way than their male counterparts.

It’s easy to refrain from realizing that most men, despite many female claims of men being jerks or bad boys, are made up of predominantly beta male traits.  Along with the typical passiveness, clinginess, desperation and neediness, the highlighted stand out characteristic of a beta male is jealousy.  It goes hand in hand with the situation: average looking man with a better looking woman - hence why he is insecure of her talking to alpha men around her, or even other beta males for that matter.  Unless she is totally smitten by her beta partner, and she doesn’t want to upset him in any way, shape or form, her natural inclination is still to acquire attention even when he is there.  All the pleasantries, money and personality he has up his sleeve cannot withdraw his obsession of her temptations towards a better looking and more confident man.  You can often see this kind of guy stood up against a nightclub pillar, looking worried, bitter and awkward as she laughs away with those men who believe she should be with them instead of the jealous boyfriend.

In the reverse gender switch within the same situation, a woman will still act insecure, envious and conscious of pretty women around her partner, but in a bizarre way she finds this to be an attractive reaction in her.  Not only does it show her that other females find her man a catch, but it also serves as a challenge to her.  All she has to do is grab his hand, and in her mind she is the winner.  Further to this, a woman never needs a second to consider massaging her own ego, and she can use her desired boyfriend or husband as a symbol to show off her value.  By placing a kiss on his lips, it is like her saying to other women “he’s with me, so I must be more beautiful than all of you.”  A woman doesn’t want to be with a man that no other women finds attractive, therefore pre-selected men are seen upon as a more prized asset.

      Men talk generally / Women talk about themselves

As a man interacts with more and more women throughout his life - whether attractive, ugly or average looking - in social time or at work he will become accustomed to the vast differences to the output in how men and women talk.  Now to balance all this up, there are many men who are the most boring and uninteresting people anyone could possibly meet, and they could talk the hind legs off a dead donkey.  The subjects they talk about are usually centred on themselves, but even if not they will still pursue in talking about what interests them.  On the whole though, men are more inclined to talk in general form, using words of “that”, “them”, “it” or “did you see?”

In contrast, compare this to listening to most woman.  If she is from the more physically attractive extreme, the difference is further apparent.  Her opening words will more often than not include “me” or “I”, and it will be a statement that directs the conversation towards her own life.  Basically, she is only really interested in things that involve her.  She will ask very few questions to other people unless it can be relevant to return the subject back to her dilemmas.  If you put her in a group and open up a general topic, she will stay quiet or wait for an opportunity to bring it back to her again.  There’s nothing wrong with this.  In fact I’d much prefer this type of woman against one who says nothing at all.  It can just become a little mundane at times.  The long and the short of it is that she lives in her own life bubble and she is automated in deploying the topics only relevant to her own life.

           Men and women view relationships in contrasting ways

This is an issue few men pick up on, and even when it’s over they are still none the wiser.  The thing is, it is a fundamental clue to how happy she is in the relationship and a tell tale sign to how he is doing and whether he needs to adapt.  That’s if she is worth it of course?  Over time, a man can start to create patterns to how past and current girlfriends view their relationship a little more selfishly than he does.  He needs to study her empathetic values.

When a man meets a woman and they start dating, or even in long term relationships, he will think about how good they are together, the memories they have created together, the common ground they share, and how great they make each other feel about life.  He will inform friends and work colleagues about the weekend they recently spent together, and his words are relative to “us”.  Naturally, he subconsciously knows he is happy in himself, but he will spend more time wondering, contemplating and hoping she is happy with him.  Unless it’s a marriage with divorce written all over it, his knowledge of her living in happiness is ultimately what makes him happy in return.

So with a man it’s quite simple: the happier the two of them mutually are, the more hope there is for them to make it last.  On the other hand, it’s not so simple with a woman.  When meeting for the first time, her immediate thought response will be along the lines of whether she can feel comfortable with him.  Depending on the guy she meets, her feelings range from a lack of comfort due to him having more value than her, to her knowing there is not the level of chemistry as there should be.  There’s nothing wrong with this, but it’s when she embarks on seeing him in a dating sense that it starts to become more complex.  She will be constantly asking questions in her mind to how she feels in herself.  There are some insecure women who will be living in hope that she is the one for him, but there will be more of the nature of self-concern to how her emotions are fluctuating.  She has little concern to his emotions, and she will assume he is infatuated to be seen with such a good catch as her.  A woman will talk about the two of them to other people, and she will be happy to spend time with him when all her other female friends are doing likewise, but as soon as she gets the flavour for nights out with the girls once more, and other opportunities will arise for attention with more suitable men, she will be off without a moment’s thought if she has indifferent feelings emerging with her boyfriend.

Men prefer a low profile woman / Women desire popular men

Unless it was a chance to score with a Hollywood actress, or a one night extravaganza with the Las Vegas porn star, there are not many men who prefer a well known, popular, attention seeking woman over one from the opposite extreme in being feminine, caring and loyal to their man.  As guys, we may joke around with our mates about what we could do with the local girl who gives it up easy, or more to the point, what she could do to us.  A one night no strings attached experience is fine, but give us the choice between a relationship with this woman against the “girl from next door” type and the vast majority would pick the latter every time.  We may go through a phase when we choose a woman who can replicate a porn star chorographical position, but as a good friend of mine once said in respect to these types – “she’s just not girlfriend material”. 

The same cannot always be said for women.  It’s not that they necessarily or intentionally desire the men who have nailed the rest of her netball team, but there is something within that lures her into the spell of the popular man.  Providing he isn’t over elaborative by means of hand slapping all the other guys who walk in - as this only shows desperation in trying too hard to be known and appreciated - a male member of an environment who is being acknowledged by every other man and woman in the bar will be more appealing to most women than his better looking, richer and cleverer male opponents.  Why is this?  There are two reasons;

First, it shows off a confident, out-going and charismatic man who other people can warm to.  He is someone they like to be around, and a woman will be convinced he would show her a good time, along with feeling comfortable in his conversation and company.

Second, it bounces back to her self-ego.  If she can capture a guy who other men want to be and women crave to be with, she believes this places her value on his level, and more importantly, it stratospheres her above every other woman in the room.  She could be the quietest, most timid and unconfident woman around, but in her fictitious mind she is like the local celebrity.  

  Men talk a little about a lot / Women talk a lot about a little

This is a follow on from the second point, but with a discrete difference once dissected.  When we think of men, we think of conversations relating to sport, work, friends, family, cars, travel, money, television, weather, music and property.  When these topics are saturated, they will talk about their own life.  They are not for always stimulating things to talk about, but they are just some of the topics they enjoy to cover in conversations.  With this in mind, they can’t spend too long on just one subject.  It’s like the perennial playboy: if he has many women at his disposal then he can’t spend an abundance of time on an isolated target.  Consequently, it prevents the conversation from being solely about himself.  Some do try, but usually the other members in the pack just shoot his boredom down.

Even with women who are not self-centered about their own life and who do appreciate there are another seven billion people in the world, they will never cover or be as interested in talking about so many aspects of life.  If you were to look at the above topics covered by men, the lion’s share of a woman’s speech is relevant to her own life.  This is often the reason you see a small group of women not talking a great deal to each other on a night out.  There’s less common ground, and unlike a man using a general question to a lesser known acquaintance, women are less inclined to talk about something that doesn’t shine on them.  Some women are inquisitive, and those types are a breath of fresh air when they show genuine interest in someone else.  They are just rare to locate.

There are greater differentials between men and women than most people take on board.  It isn’t that understanding every mentioned aspect has a direct impact on the implications or success within relationships, but once the distinctions are made, it is far easier to act accordingly once these scenarios rear their heads. Once a man does appreciate a woman’s ways, it will prove to be a far more enjoyable life.  He doesn’t always need to accept all of them, as this would only succeed in becoming her puppet in life - and even the highest magnitude of female power freaks will not respect this kind of guy.  He simply needs to tolerate them and be versatile, firm and compromising.  A woman has often made up her mind on a man in the early stages of interaction, as perceptions rule over the reality in her mind.  So from a man’s perspective, why not chill out a little on the way, and if the truth be known, there is little he can do to influence the thoughts racing through her head.

If ever a man is ever annoyed, confused or in bitterness to how a woman has acted towards him, it would be fruitful to remember there are a number of benefits in belonging to the male gender and that women have a much harder time in many aspects in life.  This is all the more pronounced as they get older.  The younger generation may not realize it yet, but in the sexual appeal, dating and relationship market, it becomes more apparent and illustrated as every year of your life passes by.


  1. Not having this one.Maybe the first one is true but this is only cause it brings the guy to our attention.So if he’s a local or professional sports star then we can be magnetized.As for the rest, a load of bollocks.

  2. Maybe the second one too but depends on the girls. I know loads of women who only talk about their life and family, friends, etc and I feel for their bfs. But some men bore the pants off me. My boss can go on and on and on about walking his dog at the weekends. Save me!

  3. Second that, men are as boring as they come.

  4. Try to listening to yourself once in a while. What ViNay says is right to all of them. You’re just doing the woman thing and pickin exceptions

  5. Women are different from men, we all know that, just not as much as he makes out.

  6. 3 is on the money and you know it. Compromise is a word alien to women.

  7. And 5 too. Talking an hour in the office about shoes and handbags. Mwah xxx

  8. The fundamentals are right, but he misses a big point. Women see their life as a treasured life whilst men see their existence as a contribution. Look at how women and men view their kids. A kid to a man is his legacy. To a woman her little girl is just a picture frame of her former self that she can never get back.

  9. Sorry, men bully kids because they see their own life falling apart from failures. Women can take a step back and let them get on with things. This is why kids get on better with Mums than Dads.

  10. When you go to a wedding you’ll see how they act differently. The man can stand back whilst the woman dangles the baby like a chandelier for all to see.

  11. Would be borin if we were the same.Men are lapdogs so they allow their gfs to get away with all the fundamental differences.

  12. Some men know how to handle them

  13. Well if you were that good you wouldn’t have to be on blogs like this would you.