“We live in a world of runners and chasers. There are those who chase our heart in search of our love, only for us to repel in hope of something better. And although we run to the person we long to be with, they in turn move the other way, looking elsewhere for a brighter day. Maybe life is a struggle, a learning exercise, or a sheer battle against the rigors of perseverance, in hope the day arrives when we collide with the one who feels the same way.”
In an analysis of a quartet in the dating and relationship field, it can be narrowed down to four types of candidates;
The good girl
The bad girl
The bad boy
The nice guy
The good girl
The good girl scenario is analyzed first. The majority of women (more than 95%) will fall under this section. Logic would predict that a good girl will look for a nice guy. How many times do you hear a woman saying she seeks out a boyfriend who has the positive traits of her father or older brother? However, when you closely observe her actions as opposed to her words, it figures out this isn’t the case with many women. She may believe this is her ideal man, but then emotive decisions take over. Logic rarely prevails in cases like these, and life isn’t always this simple.
When in early dating days, a young woman can be naïve and lacking of a broad mind - causing her to fall for the tricks of a bad boy. They may be looking to rebel against their parents for a while, and nothing achieves this more than being seen with the jerk of the town. She will adore the chemistry, unpredictability and challenge of changing him into something a little more tamer, despite his reputation, and longer term requirements such as being stimulated mentally or finding emotional security are not even a concern.
In time, she will probably have been hurt once too often by bad boys, and she will come to her senses in believing the right thing to do is to settle down with a nice, steady boyfriend. Nevertheless, if she chooses the wrong person, or finds him on the basis of her own agenda, there is no saying she will not one day look again to the bad boys out there.
The bad girl
The bad girl perspective isn’t quite so straight forward. They would represent 5% of females at the most. Firstly, it is far more difficult to pinpoint a bad girl than it is a bad boy. Further to this, it is far more complex to locate a bad girl in respect to a good girl, because quite frankly there are not as many in comparison to the gender inverse. Even women that lie, manipulate, or devise stories to break up with their boyfriends are more often than not good girls. They simply are good people making bad decisions to make themselves happy. In the case of a bad girl, this kind of woman is more blatantly deceiving, and she will make no apology of being this way inclined. The traits to become a bad girl aren’t always obvious or apparent, and many guys will be confused by her. A man will have all probably come across one at least once in his life.
In terms of the attraction field, logic would place all bad girls with all bad boys. Surely their common interest of care free, selfishness and decisiveness would be a match made in heaven? Well, not as often as many would believe. A bad girl will understand a bad boy’s characteristics far easier than a good girl, therefore she will trust him far less. She may also have dated bad boys in the past, and actually failed to see any excitement in them like a good girl would do so. Women love a challenge more than anything else in the dating field, and if a bad boy cannot offer her this then he has very little else to give.
Generally, a nice guy will be dating a good girl - simply because this is where most of the two genders will sit in character terms - so the thrill to move him away from her is the objective. Every woman wants to feel better than her female counterpart, and by capturing him in any way, shape or form will make her feel better about herself. Also, many nice guys will have intelligence and ambition, and this will naturally lead to success in his chosen profession. So if the bad girl can take a piece of this, then happy days are hers. The danger in the long term is the fact there was no actual infatuation on her part in the first place, and as the challenge wavers, and the cars, diamond rings and security is taken for granted, where does she go from there?
The bad boy
The bad boy
The bad boy situation is the easiest to establish. Bad boys make up around 15% of men out there in character terms. It has already been considered why good girls desire him and reasons for bad girls being less interested, so the game is looked at from his point of view here.
It is fair to say that a man in the early stages of his dating experience, irrespective of his own attractiveness scale, will make a high assessment of a woman’s overall package based on her looks, with little care for her character. What this means is they will place all girls in this one category. It then doesn’t take a genius (that most bad boys are not) to work out that if this is the case then he will go for the most accessible. It’s important to realize challenges in capturing the opposite sex from their current partners is not the big deal to a man as it is to a woman.
In a bad boy’s past, he will have possibly encountered a bad girl who can see through his ways, and in some cases she may even have hurt him emotionally. With this in mind, he will prey on the younger, innocent good girls who are melted by his popularity and confidence when interacting with the opposite sex. Such is his boredom with the same girl, combined with his many options from other women, he will conceivably hurt the good girls in the early years. But even the most independent of men eventually need to settle down, therefore the likelihood is he will either have to change some of his ways, or turn into a shadow of his former self. In the case of the latter, this only results in the usual unhappy ending of her seeing him as a puppet to her life, and the consequence being someone trying too hard to please a woman, yet achieving to actually have the reverse effect. The obvious ideal scenario is that the bad boy mellows some of his negative ways, whilst the good girl toughens up.
The nice guy
I’ve left the nice guy to the end because I believe this is the hardest out of the four to establish. Most men fall into this section, and despite women often claiming men to be jerks, the reality is nice guys make up approximately eighty percent of the male population. It is fair to predict a nice guy takes preference for his partner to be as attractive as he thinks he can attain within his parameters and limitations. He wouldn’t be the type to be drawn into too much emotional turmoil, hassle or endless challenges and issues. Wouldn’t this mean he will always go for the good girl? Well, yes, especially in the early stages.
In his youngest days, he will feel like he is up against it all. So many attractive good girls find him mundane, and the bad girls will be dealing with the bad boys, therefore the nice guy can be patient and wait for the some of them to start flocking (and this rarely ever occurs), or he can bring down his standards and maybe find a “Plain Jayne” type. So where does his medium and long term destiny take him?
If he has settled down with the good girl and everything is rosy in the garden, then life is looking good for him. However, one day he bumps into a blood sucking bad girl at work or in a club. She may be more attractive than his good girl wife, so this encounter tests the limits of his temptation threshold. He has probably lived all his juvenile and adult life basked in safety, structure and predictability, and never even bordered outside the boundaries of this life he has only ever known. Suddenly he sees danger in this woman and thinks for the first time in his life that he deserves a sample of a ride that takes him off path. She will show him things beyond his belief, take him to places he didn’t think existed, and his brain is constantly engaged by his heart and sexual compulsions. How long can this journey last? Probably until the bad girl has run out of challenges and thinks the relationship has run its natural course. The nice guy is still enjoying the ride though, and despite the risk of losing everything, he is still drawn in. One day he wakes up to notice his bad girl has gone. Broken he may be, but heartbroken he is not. Whilst it was lust, it was certainly never love. As whilst many men can go through a life having experienced an abundance of relationships, he knows, as do women, that finding true love may only come around two or three times in a lifetime. It is the morning when this man has to scrutinize his life closely, and realize what he has left, or what he has lost.
Most people can relate to any of the above four types of character. Deep down, we can also categorize our character into one of good or bad. Quite possibly we have switched around the characters, and maybe even back again. Despite protestations, it is never a bad time to remind the mind that the vast majority of men fall into the classification of nice guys. Another easy mistake men can make – the largest part of them making these errors of judgment are nice guys – is that the more innocent, cheerful, caring and considerate a woman can seem, the less likely she is to be a person who manipulates situations or who is economical with the truth in order to suit her emotional requirements. These women are equally as liable to abandon relationships with men treating them in constant courteous traditions as females with more flawed personalities.
We are all guilty of saying what we desire, whilst knowing that the voice within is speaking different words, and I believe the hardest part is usually being honest and truthful. Once honest, we are in a better position to move on with what we see fit for our design in the long haul of relationships.