“Bitterness, bias, envy and fallacy will often rule over a view of reality.”
Reader komunisti asks for my thoughts on the below article:
How are you? Hope you're fine.
I would like to know your opinion about this cheeky feminist critique on Di Caprio's "No date women above 25 years" law.
First, the article writer's face alone strikes me as someone who holds bitterness and resentment towards a man desiring (and sometimes securing) women who are a sizeable number of years his junior. With this in mind (on the basis I am right on this view of her), her emotional bias will influence her writing content. This is poor form for a so-called professional writer. Her primary function should be to tell the truth – or at least give her honest (not self-agenda thoughts to make herself and other women feel better about herself/themselves) – irrespective of, and over and above, any other factor.
Even the most academic, intelligent and astute of woman cannot speak with unconditional honesty when a harsh reality of life hits her emotions.
First, men’s primary predilection on a sexual basis is to sleep with a woman he finds most physically and sexually attractive. By no sheer coincidence, and with isolated exceptions to the rule acknowledged, even a 50-year-old man would state that a woman aged nineteen to twenty-three is his ideal target in this respect.
This of course does not mean that every 50-year-old man will just go for a 22-year-old woman. He may find said 22-year-old woman incredibly attractive on a sexual front, but the lack of common ground and limited conversation compatibility will usually make him look for more mature (and hence, usually older) female options in terms of a longer-term consideration.
Second, many 50-year-old men will contemplate how ridiculous this relationship dynamic will appear when in social gatherings. Even if he has looked after himself and aged well, the likelihood is that his parents will be old enough to be her parents. Many of his friends will look like her father and mother in appearance terms. These generation differential factors are enough to put him off venturing into such a large age disparity relationship, no matter how hard she makes his penis go.
Third, the vast majority of 22-year-old women will never in a million years consider being with a 50-year-old man. Most 50-year-old men will at best still look at least twenty years older than her, and unless he is a multi-millionaire assisted by high social status (and these factors will often still not be enough), the 22-year-old woman will just see it as embarrassing and creepy. Even if a 50-year-old man looks only thirty-five in physical appearance, I’d estimate that the vast majority of 22-year-old women will still not go anywhere near to this younger looking (but still twenty-eight years her senior) man.
How much does fame and fortune eradicate this female resistance?
With the above considered, it is therefore fair to say that a (small) majority of “everyday” 50-year-old men will not look to pursue with a 22-year-old woman (even one he wants to bang her very much), and a (very large) majority of 22-year-old women will not go near a 50-year-old man. I think a lot of people fail to accept this truism.
Nevertheless, throw in extreme wealth and fame, and you formulate a different ball game entirely. As I’ve always said, there is always a price that can be placed in front of a woman’s eyes to disguise over her distastes. A women’s primary function when seeking suitable male partners is to produce a life which will be better than she had before. This factor comes before satisfying her ego (although you could argue that being with an extremely wealthy and famous man ticks this box too), and well before satisfying her sexual urges.
With this in mind, a high percentage of 22-year-old women are not going to turn down an opportunity with a Leonardo Di Caprio figurehead. She may not find him overly (or at all) sexually attractive, and she may find him boring and like talking to her dad, but these distastes can be mitigated to a great extent by what she has to gain.
In this modern day it is an easy concept for a woman to consider and go through with a marriage to a man who she is not that into sexually. She can gain in the short-term, and then file for divorce shortly after. It is often a win-win scenario for her.
When the roles are reversed – female hypocrisy
As illustrated in this previous post, female hypocrisy is never more apparent when large age gap relationships are at the heart of the topic.
When a man is seen with a much younger woman, most other women will broadcast him as a creepy old man, a cradle snatcher, or a man lacking any level of mental maturity to be with a woman of similar age to him.
When the script is flipped – and a woman is seen with a much younger man – it never seizes to amuse me how on watching women will often give it the “go girl” rendition, and that she is just living her fun deserving life. These deluded and hypocritical comments are commonly accompanied by misconceptions that the younger man needs an older woman, as the women his age are too immature.
Let us be honest and cut through the bullshit though. Most men who date older (>5 years) women are often low sought-after men, or/and men lacking in any degree of genuine inner confidence. As men place predominant priority on the physical attractiveness level of a woman and how much he wants to bang her, any half-decent man should always be able to find himself a woman of same age or younger.
Because whilst we can talk until we are blue in the face with regards to how big the age gap can be before it seems weird, the facts of the matter are that an older man and younger woman dynamic simply just plays into the role of natural biology. Men like what a younger woman has, and women like what an older man has. Consequently, when it is the other way round and the woman is older than the man, this is not playing into life’s magical story of nature and instincts.
With this all taken into account, the conclusion is simple. A woman’s primary motivation in being with a younger man is to feel better about herself and convince others (and herself) that she is still beautiful in the same way as her younger self and younger female rivals. It is in essence to massage her own ego, rather than first and foremost being attracted to him. A man’s subconscious (and sometimes conscious) reasoning to be with an older woman is because he does not possess the inner belief that he can control and trust a, on paper and often reality, higher maintenance younger woman.
A final thought
I always remember talking to a man in the gym who was thirty-two at the time of this particular conversation. I was a year younger than him. He was adamant that if he looked after himself, when he turned fifty, he could still attract (and I assume he also believed he could get them to date him and sleep with him) women of thirty. I did not think much of it at the time, in analysis terms of how realistic this was.
In retrospect, I know where he was coming from. The critical part is that he would need to look after himself and appear physically much younger than his chronological age. The other requirement would be to find those minority of women who are comfortable with a twenty-year age gap. In my opinion, the former task is far easier than the latter potential obstruction.
What I would say though, to back up his argument somewhat, is that it would be easier for him at fifty to find a 30-year-old woman than him at forty-five finding a 25-year-old woman. In other words, as every year passes, the age gap he was referring to becomes a little more attainable - all else being equal.
All in all, to go back to the article in question, you probably have two gender biases that aren’t quite aligning with reality. In essence, there is probably a higher percentage of older men who think considerably younger women will date them in comparison to the actual percentage of women who will date these men. Conversely, there is a lower percentage of women who accept much younger women will date older men than the actual percentage of these younger women who will. I will leave the rest for you to decide….