Saturday 17 December 2016

Improving edginess and finding confident friends

“Money doesn’t make a man.  A man makes money.”

Reader Bryce asks a couple of questions:

Hi Vinay,

Glad to hear you are going down the Q&A path. I have lots of questions all of which I don't recall at the same time so I'll start writing them down when they come to mind.

I'll start with a couple.

1) How does one add edginess to his vibe? (especially for introverted guys)
I'm aware of working out more, but I completed most of that I'm weighing almost 210 pounds (muscular build)

2) How do you find high-self esteem & confident friends?
I have trouble when entering a group, some of the guys/girls will be intimidated and bad mouth me to the others, so they really haven't had a chance to get to know me yet.

Also friends before redpill days are really passive-aggressive, they don't like the improved redpill version that I became. This goes for family as well...some not all.


My response:

To the first question.  Introversion is something that most men are.  It pretty much goes in line with the beta to alpha ratio - around 85% to 90% of men are beta, and 10% to 15% are alpha.  In addition, and not to spoil the answer to your second question, it also aligns with blue pill to red pill men -  that is 90% of men are blue pill, 10% are red pill. 

I'd always recommend another read of this post I published when it derives to becoming more extroverted and edgy, although I will add more.  Edginess, in primary form, is the by-product of a not giving a crap attitude.  I concede this isn't always possible, especially in work environments when perhaps you need to act more beta, head nodding, accommodating, selfless, compromising and nice in order to achieve the best results for yourself.  Not always, but often.  But in the face of women, and attempts to attract them, they love the thought of trying to win a man over who comes across as indifferent.

The big caveat to this is the fact you are of blessed physical attractiveness level.  Although implementing anti-game would be advised to all men (bearing in mind the vast majority of men are average looking) for most of their interaction time with women, good looking men need to tread far more carefully with proactive game techniques.  As women are already in awe of these men, more frequent reassurance and vulnerability tactics need to be used, without being too much of a push-over.   

At the risk of once more creeping over to your second question, edginess can also be improved by belonging to a "popular" group.  I have never desired, on long term consideration, to get involved with these groups.  For one, I've never felt they are welcoming of my presence.  Average or above average looking men don't like better looking men creeping into their territory, due to inferiority, intimidation, and knowledge you will attract the same girls.  Second, these people tend to be unintelligent and up their own backsides, and basically not enjoyable company.  Third, people taking on this life physically age badly.  It is basically a short shelf life at the top.  Nevertheless, the shear magnitude of belonging to a well known male group does attract a high share of cute and hot women.  Like anything else, when a mentality of high quality female options is at a man's disposal, he naturally acts less caring to each one.  Once more, women are attracted to this.  Edginess again is the subconscious manifestation of options and apathy. 

Working out does add edginess, because working out alone gives off greater testosterone.  Seeing that muscular body will give you confidence beyond what you attained, and confidence brings out edginess.  Be careful on how much muscle you put on though.  For one, women do genuinely (even though most of them lie on emotional topics) prefer toned muscle over a beefcake portrait.  Also, as women are so insecure, many will turn their backs on sculptured male bodies in preference for flabbier and cuddlier male bodies that make them feel superior and comfortable.  So you have to make that decision.  By the way mate, how tall are you at that weight?  I'm on the surface of 6ft, 168 pounds, and in pretty good profiled shape, so for you to carry that out with an extra 42 pounds must mean you are tall.

Now bordering fully onto the second question.  Well I think I covered above why the average man or woman will not give you an opportunity to show your engaging character.  In essence, men are threatened by you taking away their girls, and women's egos and perceptions aren't comfortable with your existence.  Life is tough, isn't it...

Finally, yes, you have hit it on the head with your comment on the bulk of society.  Most people are blue pill believers, and despite the exposure and available sources towards red pill, the increase year on year of realists over conformists will be negligible.  I don't foresee a time in the near future to when this will significantly change, because whilst the average man is horny and desperate, he is always a sitting duck for a female contrived pregnancy.  Once a dad, he will sway even more to his feminine and weak side.  

Put yourself in a position where you are not afraid of the consequences.  This would be the greatest advice I could give for a man desiring to enhance his edginess.  Remove outcome dependence from the mind.  Again, this is why, by and large, a non-committed man will be more edgy than a married man. 


  1. Hi Vinay,

    Much appreciated with the quick response. Will check out that link in this post.

    To answer your first question, I'm actually 5' 9"+ (5' 10" in shoes). So my
    muscle to height ratio is pretty high. I never get comments on height though,
    and don't have a problem attracting taller women, always suspect they disregard due to attractiveness (and muscle, they squeeze my arms and like when I wrap my arms around them).

    To add, I have other males in my family pushing 6' to 6' 4"+ weighing 25 or
    more pounds less than me (so 160 - 185 pounds is their range). Hence, people comment on my strength (or ask if I'm taking steriods or my workout if they've known me a long time...I'm flattered when they say that though).

    On a different note, It's good to hear about that statistics from someone with more experience. Reading your post I am realizing that I could be wrongly expecting everyone behave as I expect they should. But in reality everyone has their own insecurities which may affect the way the behave with me.

    I will work on developing a more "not giving a crap attitude". Been focusing on
    learning to be my own person and reading about rights of passage and such for men.

    I actually took your advice on anti-game last year I believe and it has
    been pretty effective and made people more open towards me.

    People usually say I'm really indifferent and when that is combined with
    attractiveness I came off as stuck up and unapproachable. But this did work
    with attracting a lot of women, although ones on the crazier side.

    I understand your point about the popular group, I've been actually hanging
    out with a more mature and relaxed set of people because it's my mode of operation for friends. It just sucks whenever I need to join a group or organization sometimes related to work. A few people will just assume I'm a$$hole and full of myself based on looks. The anti-game and sharing more of my personality helped solve this at work.

    Thanks again,

    1. I will work on developing a more "not giving a crap attitude" can;t work on it...either you have it,or not..??..of course this comes from clue..approach women in conversations..sooner or later you'll figure out what the Vinay tried to convey! This Vinay dude is maybe the best in the in explaining ..better then others,,trust me!..he is wise beyond comprehension ...and I love him for explaining!...hALLELUYAH!

    2. Appreciate it mate. Yes, one of the best ways is to pity women when they are not engaging when you approach. It's an easy mistake for the younger self to take a cold shoulder personally, but generally it because she hasn't the confidence or intelligence to engage back.

  2. Danny,

    My interpretations of don't give a crap falls into learning to be your own person and knowing your values.

    Been approaching for years now, so not worried about that part and actually do a lot of time approaching when I'm out at the subway, park etc.

    I'm curious Vinay has say about it. I know if try to put out that alpha jerk vibe people will see I'm trying too hard, so I imagine understanding myself better would make me produce that vibe naturally.

    My vibe described by others for the last eight years is pretty chill/cool. For example a hottie from Halloween kept harping on my vibe and went heavy on the compliments (which sometimes put me in a weird space because I'm use to hostility from women).

  3. Bryce,
    My good man...first of all,I am 5'7" with shoes
    So me and Vinay came from different backgrounds..I can't compare myself with him in different experiences for us*maybe what we have in common is the trading expertise..etc,,I deal in Forex.
    you have said,, I know if try to put out that alpha jerk vibe people will see I'm trying too hard, so I imagine understanding myself better would make me produce that vibe naturally.,,

    Point is this...women are different animals than us,the males?..they sense it on the matter how much you try to ,,fake it,,..see?..the women have this power,,by instinct,,not by learning like we,the suckers busting our asses to,,get it?..capish italiano?..muchachos?..but the end you should rely on your own values...
    To give you a stupid analogy...let's say I meet Vinay face to face...he is taller...bigger muscles...much good looking than me..and he wants to beat me up?*as a crazy demented scenario?
    Now..I don;t have to,,pretend,,..etc..if you are expert in martials arts...there is no,,trying to be alpha,,
    See the paradigm?
    You smile..that's all
    And I bet you Vinay would sense it(in this demented to bone allegory) that is no use to punch me.
    where this comes from...he sense it..somehow.
    IS THE same process of how women sense the ,,alpha,,in males,and that's makes their pussy drip...see?
    Kiss to you:)

    1. Danny boy,

      I get what you are saying. My question is about "how to" whereas you are telling me the end results. The martial arts metaphor is a good one, I did MMA/Muay Thai for years ;), I'll just carry over the concepts.

      But my point is like how some guys were once blue pill, there was something that eventually enabled them to become redpill. Some guys are raised/socialized the redpill way, others have different circumstances that would prevent them from getting it, for example weak or no male figures in their childhood. You can have guys who are hardcore marines (CEO, other top figures etc) but bluepill (around women) once they get home.

      So my question was about "HOW"


  4. Bryce my good man...

    Yes,,,I can respond..but then this is Vinay need to monopolize his wisdom?..when he replies with some clues..I will too:) Is about respect for his work.explanings..etc
    ps..Loved it when you called me..Danny boy..guess the irish song makes sense:)
    Danny boy:)

  5. Bryce my good man:)

    Imagine I was like 23 years old...In my mind back then I had this insane idea that,,sex,,is something to share,,,see?
    Anyway,,,after like 6 months of writing her love poems..taking her for dinner..talking about Socrates and my view on anything?...
    I was still begging for sex?..the most we done was me sucking her nipples..and her grabbing my stiff demented frustated dick !!
    So I stopped begging,.,,,and should see this friend of mine?...he was like a 9 ..tall..etc
    some hapless loser living in his grandma basement..

    2 days later,,,I visited him
    She was naked..all over him!!...after sex look.
    We talk about a woman I romanced for 6 months!..trying to make her fuck me>>
    and here,..she was in bed with my best friend
    And I even got them some coffee...
    Talking about betta to the bone?
    I asked him later..what you did to make her fuck you?
    Since none all my love poems worked..nore my devotion..nore anything?,,NORE KISSES OR ,,SHARING EMOTIONS,,

    HE you want sex with me?...or get out of my house?..that's all he did....beliAve it or not!

    Believe it or not..300 poems of love,,,,dinners..etc...but I begged for pussy?..see why she picked the one who my way,,or out of the house?

  6. Hahahaha...just found one dude who had the same experience as mine..

    One of the final straws was me being in stuck in an LJBF with a person whom i had mad loving feelings for. One day i confessed to her how i felt and told her the pain was just too great for me to bear and i needed a YES OR NO answer. She only wanted to be my friend. I said “you are going to lose that friendship… why not take the chance and give it a try?” She said no and ended that friendship rather than try a relationship with a ‘really wonderful and caring guy’. Her words.
    2 weeks later she was fucking a player asshole narcissist dick in a NSA relationship. That dick was my former friend who knew how badly i wanted to be with her. He never missed an opportunity to rub it in my face how lovely her back looked. I guess she enjoyed doggy style.
    She chose to fuck someone who cared not one bit for her and only used her for her vagina instead of someone who loved her. But it was OK because she was only looking for ‘fun’ and not a relationship.
    My world shattered.

    Hahahahaha..exactly like mine!!!..see?..when it happens to you..then you know it for pain,I guess?
    Danny the boy:)