Wednesday 8 November 2023

Mate guarding is not a good look


“He who constantly looks over his shoulder, is he who is outwardly afraid.” 


Let us start with a textbook definition of mate guarding:

Mate guarding is the physical guarding of a female in order to deny rival males the opportunity to mate with her and is one of the most commonly used defensive strategies observed in mammals (Nichols, Amos, Cant, Bell, & Hodge, 2010), birds (Hoi, Tost, & Griggio, 2011), insects (Simmons, 2001), and fish (Alonzo & Warner, 2000).

The animal kingdom, in many ways regarding female and male existence, is not much different to human behaviour when considered to how the male species acts in this respect.  In both cases, they are essentially doing the same thing.  The reason human deportment is more fascinating, in my mind at least, is because the psychological element to such ways of behaving is that bit more intriguing to explore.

Taking animals first, the male is fundamentally, and almost solely motivated in, attempting to not allow another male competitor to mate with his female companion (or the female he is attempting to mate with).  In simple terms, he does not want anything else to stand in the way of him mating with her.  There is very other little consideration to him.  Sometimes he will fight off the male rival, whilst other times he will submit to a superior force he cannot compete or fight with. 

Now taking humans, the male is pretty much doing the same thing.  He does not want any other man to have sex with his female partner, or the woman he is trying to bang, in putting it bluntly.  Nevertheless, his mate guarding tactics are a little more subtle than exampled animal.  More to be explained on this later.

A relevant anecdote

There is a woman in the gym who I wrote a post about last year.  Without going back on old ground, it was obvious she was, and seemingly still is, attracted to me.

Since the early part of this year, there has been a man who looks in his mid-twenties trying to grind her down.  He is a 7/10 in physical attractiveness terms, so in respect to her, he falls perfectly into the approximate 10% deleverage strike zone that most women strive for.

On paper, this dynamic in him being 10% to 15% less physically attractive than her should have been an easy path for her to continue on with him.  After all, providing he did not have bad odour or something, there is very little obstruction for her to venture on with him on this basis.  However, it was clear for a couple of months that she was not exactly being forthcoming in making this, on paper once more, somewhat easy decision.

The main reason behind this is, in my knowledge of how women think and act, because he is about three inches shorter than her.  The number of times she would speak to him – for attention purposes in the early stages – ensuring either she was sitting down, or he was sitting down, was too transparent for any person with two brain cells to not fathom.  She would often take her trainers off when near him too, just to bridge the height gap as much as she could.

About three months ago, she and her female best buddy must have had some kind of falling out.  It was amusing that one day they were always acting like little girls and carrying out over-exaggerated laughing, to almost overnight walking past each other with devil eyes.  Without any proof, my guess is that the tall blonde (the woman referenced in this post, and the previous post) let her “friend” down on a so called agreement to go on a holiday or rent a house together.  Again, just a hunch.

Anyway, around this time of the fallout, it was clear that she finally submitted to the guy who had pursued her for months on end, and they had become a couple.  I even noticed from the other side of the gym where the two of them were training on the cables together, and every time they went to talk, she kind of crouched down a little to less expose the height difference.  I certainly do not think it was any coincidence that she started dating him at the time of the fallout with the other woman. 

Jealous male mate guarding

It just so happens every Wednesday, gym routine people as we are, that a common time occurs when I work out on a bench a couple of yards diagonally in front of her.  As someone he will have sensed her being attracted to (and she may possibly have told him this pre-dating phase), in addition to being one of the rare men in there who actually smells decent, it is plain to see his discomfort and jealousy when this occurrence hits him in the eyes.

What he does to counteract this displeasing disposition is to, as soon as he sees her and I in close proximity, move from his training area and start to help her train.  It really is pitiful, but in essence this is what human male mate guarding is in a nutshell. 

Not only does this man fail in what is right to further attract women (in particular women you are already dating), but this also has a negative effect on his training results, such is his endeavours in wasting time staying close to her.  Bad move, on both counts.

Do women like male mate guarding?

The easy explanation to this question is to effectively summarise how women act in two extreme psyches.  On the one side you have her ego, and on the other side you have her heart (and sexual arousal to accompany her heart).  A woman seeing her male partner (or a man generally) trying to mate guard will enjoy the head swell ego boost to illustrate that a man in her life is so into her that he will go to the lengths of mate guarding and competitor interception, but the other side of her will concede that by acting out this mate guarding trait, he has taken away what beats her heart faster and makes here panties wet – due to him making it too blatant that he is doing such thing.

Because a man mate guarding is in no uncertain terms a man who is jealous, insecure, and contains a feeling of inferiority in comparison to the man or men he is mate guarding her from.  Deep down women know this, and in their honest veins no woman is sexually attracted to a man who is showing these character colours.  This is not to say many, many women do not tolerate the irritable feeling that mate guarding negatively decorates, because as implied above, most modern day women will go with their egos over their hearts.

Is mate guarding productive or unproductive?

Before answering this question, the first aspect to address is simply numbers based.  In the modern day, most (>80%) of women will put their egos ahead of their hearts, and most (>80%) men are beta males who uncontrollably and by default deliver with mate guarding strategy.  With this considered, you could make a firm argument that mate guarding is beneficial in securing, and keeping, a woman.

On the other hand, if you have morals and principles to be the best version of yourself as feasibility allows, accustomed with taking a firm preference in getting women to be sexually attracted to you rather than making them feel better about life and themselves, then mate guarding is a complete no go zone.  As with everything, the choice is that of your own.

Q-tip:                                                                                                                                       Men low in confidence, but high in jealousy, insecurity and inferiority will be prominent of mate guarding.  Men who are the inverse to this, combined with savviness and high knowledge of what makes women tick, keep their distance from their female partners, even when many other men are around.  When all said and done, it is simple assessment to how good a catch you believe you are for her in contrast to the hoards of other males around her.

Side note

I wrote most of this post a few weeks ago, before finalizing today.  In this interim time, the woman and man I reference in this post have evidently left the gym to join most likely another place.

My hunch tells me this change of events is two-fold.  He gets her away from a venue where there are edgier men who she sets her eyes on than him.  She alleviates herself from the irritable and resentful feeling and day in day out experience of having to look at men she would, in honesty and sexual instinctiveness, want to have sex with more than the man she is with.  For now, it works beneficially for both.

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