"All of life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied to a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly." (Martin Luther King Jr.)
The title of this post tells its own story. Make no mistake, the economic climate over the last 6 years or so has changed female mate selection in greater numbers, even if it has not necessarily been through their sexual intrinsic choices.
The fundamentals of male and female attraction have stayed, and will stay, the same in the general scheme of things. Men are turned on and attracted to female physical beauty and youthfulness. Usually the two go hand in hand. Almost every man who throws his hat down with claims he selects women with impressive personality and loyalty over the physical side is most likely lying. Sure, men rationalize to a point and assess their current partner against the temptation, but the way a female looks will dictate first and foremost whether he would like to venture into a relationship with her. On the fact that the largest slice of men aren’t exactly nailing cute or hot women, pastures new in the form of less mature material will be hard for them to resist. If this wasn’t the case you wouldn’t see 30 year old men, who have female partners of similar age, constantly staring at 20 year old women on nights out. Some will let you believe it is only a sexual thought and that they would never leave, or betray, their older wives and girlfriends for a short term blast of something fresher. Most are devising stories in the product of bullshit. Men who tell these untrue justifications to friends and women are men who cannot any longer find ways to attract younger and more beautiful members of the opposite sex. If they in fact could, they do not have the inner confidence to carry this through. Either way you look at it, you run into the dead end of what is referred to as a low quality man.
Women, on the other hand, offer a completely different analysis. The female mind is more sexually turned on by male aesthetic value than any other desirability component, but unlike men, they view selection on an array of other criteria. So whilst a man’s visual portrait turns her on the most, a woman will only place this metric in the appropriate position. Most women above the age of 23 will prioritize a man’s status (social and occupational), wealth, personality, charisma and attitude ahead of physical attractiveness for ultimate partner choice. By the time this same woman reaches her late 20s, areas like commitment, reliability, dependability and mental maturity will be preferred before his looks. So although the possession of good looks for a man is important for immediate attention in the usual time constrained scenarios, it can only take him so far.
The early signs of the global economic meltdown came in the form of rumours during the back end of the summer in 2007. There was a whisper that had made its way to the UK about the housing market crash in the United States of America. Barely anybody (financial experts included) truly anticipated the magnitude of this volcanic eruption that was in full flow a year later, but there was no doubting the impact it had on “Average Joe” trying to make an honest living. Those of you who lived through this period in direct terms – hence having a mortgage, job or self-governed financial commitments – will still taste that sour sting of recollecting people not knowing where their world would take them. When you personally know of numerous friends and acquaintances who experienced redundancies, house re-possessions, bankruptcies and broken marriages, it was hard to point the finger elsewhere than the worldwide credit crunch as it was known.
But one aspect of this period that stood out to me was the imperceptible increase of certain heterosexual couple dynamics that was not so prominent pre 2008. By and large, the post millennium era up to this point had offered good times. The job market was booming, unemployment relativity was low, and if you bought at the right time (especially before 2004) vast amounts of equity was there to be profited from property appreciation. In case of the latter, this acted as the catalyst for why things went south. People were paying for luxuries on nothing more than “paper money” psychology. All was rosy in the gardens. Then, like a smack in the face that couldn’t be anticipated, poof, we fall down the ladder and start again.
Women were big winners prior to the recession. There was the opportunity to perhaps not rely on being with men they didn’t hold optimum desires to be with on a visceral level. They could provide for themselves to a greater degree, as disposable income and a step onto the property market was accessible to many. In the process, they could search for the one who gave them butterflies. But once many of them lost their jobs, and for those younger who were of graduation age were finding it hard to locate a profession, let alone a bank to lend them a deposit, options were no longer such a luxury.
This depressing economic climate would produce more relatively independent women to conceivably search for assistance in swimming through these muddy waters. Parents can only do so much as many of them were also struggling in their own right, so other paths needed to be explored that were maybe not previously considered. As the enormity percentage of men fall into the average section in looks, monetary and personality terms, in addition to having very little knowledge in dealing with women in psychological structures, they are almost always grateful to any woman that comes their way. Their penis rules their mind. The more physically attractive the woman, the more he shifts to the right side of the passive and giving curve. Women, in this simultaneous timeframe, were conscious of the uphill climb to get what they want – a good life they believe was deserved.
Whilst times were becoming harder and harder for the average woman to find her way, this stage in life also just so happened to coincide with the ever growing exposure and infatuation of the celebrity lifestyle. Reality television shows, the rich and famous magazines and media hype of inflated celebrity earnings would all leave further jealousy and bitterness in the mind of a woman when looking down at her own life. Albeit not in any close comparison, these pictures only formed further thoughts in how to elevate onto a better life. Men being men, option stricken with very little to offer, would be more than willing to form a partnership that at least would give them guaranteed sexual relinquishments. It all manifested into a greater number of women walking side by side with older, beta characterized and less eye catching men.
However, to defend a woman for a moment, what were the other options? Men who were less willing to commit – who would often be better looking men with an element of raw male power – were arguably appearing less appealing than years gone by. When I see men of this nature in gyms or on nights out (where the percentage of the most physically attractive men is at its highest in comparison to other social or working environments), there does appear to be a deprivation of personality, charisma, positive body language and, probably most importantly but unproven, a decent income. They may look good in relative terms against the majority of men, but women need more than this in the short space of time they feasibly have to find the highest calibre male partner.
In simple terms, class has been congested and bottle necked. Although in sparse numbers, there are still the exclusive men at the top of the ladder – where they have multitude attributes that women look fondly upon – but a larger group has been shifted into the middle. A larger group still is now below a mediocre level. I can’t help but think through neutral eyes that when I see the hoards of younger men, irrespective of whether they are ugly, average looking or good looking, very few of them have any uniqueness. The better looking ones with a popular reputation will sweep up with non-committed orientated younger women below the age of 23, but for those looking for something a little more than meets the eye, I do feel a level of sympathy for many of the ladies out there. Given the choice, a woman will compromise on her sexual needs, at least for the longer term consideration, for someone who can put a roof over her head, take her out on nice meals and make life as easy as possible for her. This won’t make her any happier than choosing an edgier man with less monetary funds, but it will ease her immediate worries at that stage in her life.
Whilst there are slow signs of an economic recovery in 2014 that aids the lives of everyday people, perhaps there is a small return to some women not feeling as great a pressure to choose financial solidarity over sexual impulsions. I don’t expect this to happen any time soon or in great measures. It’s quite ironic, because when the first blogs came to the technological forefront to offer male comprehension in female emotional mentality and decision making, it was not too far off the commencement of hard economic times. Although more women are finding a route back to work, they are still a world away from collating the necessary resources to go it alone. As seeking, purchasing, owning and living in a house to be proud of is still a cultural objective in the UK, women will still need a leverage to get them there. And we all know the kinds of men who will happily stand still in allowing them to climb on their shoulders. They never need to endeavour and venture even near to the extent that they do, but a misconception that women’s gratitude is aligned with the more giving a man is stands in the way of happiness for both parties. No matter which way you look at it, these men represent the bulk of the male population. Although a tiny change of the guard may be upon us, the perennial “beta bucks alpha fucks” metaphor will long live on.
On a final note, statistics illustrated a decrease in the number of divorces in England and Wales during 2011 in respect to years that went before. The idealist will claim this is the circumstance of couples trying harder to make things work. The realist will tell you this is only because a woman could not afford to sail the ship alone, even after taking half of what she never had before the man she met came along. I was taken aback by the women in the link stating this is a reason. I guess someone’s job, after all, can force them to speak the truth over fallacies.
Acknowledgments and further reading