Saturday 5 August 2023

Artificial and unnatural exploitation of love


“Many people deny the outward reality by attempting to conceal their inner bitterness.”


As a relevant link from this previous post from over four years ago, I came across a somewhat bizarre, yet in other ways predictable, female action a few weeks ago.  Like anything in life, but in particular with women’s emotional habits, what a long time ago once left me with head scratching, now manifests to an instant comprehension.

The scenario

It was a random Friday morning at the gym, and after I had fulfilled my forty-five minute workout, followed by a nice sauna and retrospective shower, I left the male changing room at about 8am.  As you turn out of the changing rooms, it is about a fifteen second stroll to the exit barriers.  That short walk means you see all the cardiovascular trainers to your left, with the machine weights also left side but merely a few yards from your vicinity.

As much as I criticise people for looking down at their phones when walking (the biggest sign of insecurity if ever there was), it is habitual of me to, once turning immediately right outside the changing room, quickly turn on the gym app that allows a member to enter and exit.  After a couple of seconds to do this and subsequently eyes back on the line of sight, I saw a side view of a very nice figured blonde standing next to the one of the shoulder free weight machines.  She looked familiar, but without seeing the front of her face it was not clear to whether I had seen her in there before.

As I walked past her, I got a glance of her boyfriend sitting on the shoulder machine.  He was a blonde haired dude, and above average (but not good or great) in the male physical attractiveness scale from what I could quickly assess.  No surprise on the hot girl with above average looking man dynamic, but blonde with blonde is much rarer, in the UK at least.

As I reached to approximately five yards away from this woman, I noticed how she bent down to, what seemed like, say something to her boyfriend.  As I made it just past her, I just heard a loud kissing noise that all seemed a bit too fake for belief that it was natural and spontaneous.  It all simply came across as that bit too try hard and contrived.

Why would a woman do this?

Now of course, someone could say to me this was just a coexistence, and it was a display of affection and love.  I cannot prove in any way, shape, or form that this was not the case.  Nevertheless, the timing of this huge smack on his lips all just came across that bit too much of a coincidence, and if she did this, coincidentally, in just those ten seconds that it took me to pass her, does this mean she did it about another hundred times throughout their workout?  I have my doubts.

My better judgement, even if seen upon by others as an arrogant and self-promoting view, is that she had seen me in there before, or/and saw me walking towards them.  As women, in particular hot women, have egos that do not take kindly to seeing better looking men than their male partners, especially when the two referenced men are in close real estate that smacks her in the face for real life comparison, this manipulated action of kissing her boyfriend with the highest vocal noise possible was the perennial and typical reaction a woman like her will implement to try and ease her in the moment discomfort, derived from the explained emotion she was going through.

In essence, and as documented in this blog on more than a couple of times, women are torn between a tug of war when it comes to their decisions and psyche with men they see and choose.  On the one hand, a woman has an imperceptible compulsion to be with a man who is lesser looking than her in gender relative terms.  This ticks the box for her enlarged ego, but it reduces the optimum beat of her heart and wetness of her pants.  On the other hand, a woman often knows she could secure a hotter man, on occasions (but rarely) she will act upon this impulse, her heart is telling her she likes him, but her ego is sending messages to go with a safer option and hot him.

Why the resentment of this decision?

The problem is women are not good at making decisions and then consequently accepting them for what they chose to do.  Men, whilst not perfect in accepting making half-hearted decisions in life, are much better at this rationalising process.  In other words, when women make decisions they deep down are not totally happy with, or when they know they could do better, they go looking for other people to blame, or they blame life with resentment.  The last thing they blame is themselves.

This is why then, you find women being hostile towards better looking and more sought-after men in comparison to their boyfriends, fianc├ęs, or husbands.  This negative emotion was illustrated by me in this post when a reader suffered a similar, albeit more acrimonious, reaction from a woman when in a comparable scenario.  Simply put, women are not at ease with this predicament, therefore they go looking for ways to try and counteract this bitter taste in their mouth.

A final thought

Have you ever gone out with your girlfriend, alongside her friends and a couple of the respective female friend’s male partners?  As the night goes on, or sometimes even pretty much from the first drink, you will find a common pattern emerge that only becomes more pronounced for every time you find yourself in the same social dynamic.

Let us just say that there are six women in the group.  Three of the women have male partners with them, and three are on their own and currently single in relationship status.  What you find is none of the women are totally satisfied, and the reasons become transparent the better a man becomes in understanding female emotional psychology.

The single women are jealous of the coupled women, because women’s uncontrollable mindset is to be desired and validated, which is a by-product of being with a man (even if the man is not that sought-after, or not even desired by the single woman).  The more sought-after the man belonging to one of her friends, the greater degree her jealousy sits upon.

Nevertheless, this does not mean it is a jealous free night for the coupled up women either.  Whilst a woman does crave for validation and to have a man directly desiring to be with her and to love her, the force that pulls against this tick in the box is her inner need for drama, fun, gossip, and further admiration (from other men).  Drama, fun, gossip, and flirting/getting off/one night stands with other men will be the luxury only at the disposal of the single girls out that night.

Ultimately, women can never be fully happy.  They want to be loved by a man, but they also want the drama queen life that escorts the single life.  Some women can disengage between the two cycles of life, and they have the maturity to know the two roles cannot, on a wholesale basis, run on a simultaneous period.  Unfortunately, in a world where female maturity is running south concurrent to the drama craving life heading north, most women have difficulties distinguishing, and accepting, the extreme paths each life sits at.

A final, final thought

As a man assessing all this, you have three questions to ask yourself when face on with this conundrum.  First, do you have past knowledge of her being a drama queen, fun loving girl?  Second, has she sincerely (and happily) changed from this life since she has been with you?  Third, are you convinced, should you take it to marriage or kids, that she will never go back to this looking over her shoulder mentality?

Q-tip:                                                                                                                                  Homely girls (girls who have very few female friends, and are not accustomed to or liking of going out a lot) are the best girlfriend and wife material women.  They are also the most loyal and faithful women, and they give you the least stressful life.  The downside, however, is these women are the most notorious for dropping you with the premature and unplanned “I’m pregnant” words you most likely never wanted to hear.


  1. Hi Vi Nay,

    Amazing post! I'll have to read this 3 or more times to take in all the lessons and advice. As I get older, no longer in my 20s, I'm learning some of these very things that you talk about.

    I agree with your observations about homely girls in terms of loyalty and being the best partners. Could elaborate a bit on the premature & unplanned pregnancy part? I don't understand why they are notorious for doing that.

    1. Hi mate, hope you are well?

      If you scroll to the latter part of this post: should give you a thorough resume to why a homely girl (especially those leaning to the extreme side of this female character type) will be most likely to get herself pregnant, without prior discussion with her male partner.

      To elaborate a little more however, in essence homely girls have very little motivation for the fun loving girls nights out, and they are not usually looking for any major career progression (or even to stay in a job long term). On the other hand, they do hold a strong motivation to be with their boyfriend nearly all of the time, and they are not usually women who are as hypergamous or striving to find a better male proposition. Some will, but from my experience most homely girls just go for a run of the mill guy. The security and validation feeling in having a boyfriend far outweighs a need to look for better.

      When you put all those factors together, a homely girl will often see a pregnancy and baby, even in the early stages of a relationship (often as early as the first six months), as a route to what her true life plan is. Not only does she see this as locking up her boyfriend's premature commitment, but it gets her out, at least for a year or two, of the working world that she holds no ambition to be in.

      In conclusion, a homely girl just wants to be a wife and mother.

    2. I’m well overall, currently catching up on your blog posts from the past few months. Oh I see now, that makes sense about homely women. I’ve observed the same behavior with Latina women in general.

    3. Yes, that logic would stack up.

      The less inclination for a career, the more likely is a woman to get pregnant.