“Calling it a final day is only a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”
Adrian asks for my opinion on the following topic:
Hey Vinay, I wanted to ask you what are your thoughts on Andrew Tate's perspective on a man being unfaithful and there being nothing wrong with it. Since men are biologically programmed to have sex with as much women as they can, and women can’t be unfaithful since they’re programmed to find the most suitable man and be loyal to him. Granted, he was talking about high value men. He said women shouldn’t accept this from the everyday man, but looking for a high value man comes with a price. And he also said these men don’t need to lie about it, they can be honest and pose it as a take it or leave it. I agree with what he says, but I wanted to know your opinion about it. If you do agree then should it be acceptable for a regular man to do so if he still is on the lower side of high value? (Not famous or billionaire but still standing out amongst men in financial, fitness, and life knowledge.)
Before answering the nitty gritty so to speak, let me place some basic principles to this subject:
· Given the freedom to do so, and with full guarantee that their female partners would never find out (and similarly, nobody else finds out), I would estimate that >95% of men would opt to sleep with as many women as possible who they find sexually arousing.
· Even given this luxury as explained above, there is still a tiny minority (<5%) of men who would still not choose to sleep with other women they find sexually attractive. These are men who attain such a conscience and loyalty mentality that they just could not bring themselves to cheat on their better half.
· Contrary to what women will try and convince society, the reality is that most men do not cheat. Nevertheless, there is a distinction that needs to be established between men who do not cheat, and men who do not hold the self-attractiveness to cheat. Simply put, most men are not striking the eyes of other women outside of his female partner (or any women generally, if he is single), therefore even if he would like to sleep with other women, the facts of the matter are that these women are not willing to sleep with him.
· Most men who are in relationships with the most attractive women are not likely to cheat in the short to medium term. These men staying faithful over the longer term will be far less prominent.
· Men who are with in relationships with the top 0.1% of sought after women (women who are >8.5/10 in beauty) are most likely men who could also find other women to have sex with him who are equally (or slightly less or slightly more) attractive as his female partner.
I could list more, but I do not desire to repeat on further elaboration that will be explained. With that said, I think these five points alone result in most of the basic fundamentals being covered from a male perspective on this topic.
My thoughts on Andrew Tate’s opinion on men
Andrew Tate is right on the vast majority of his views on this subject, providing Adrian has quoted him correctly (and there is no reason to doubt Adrian, in my humble opinion). First, Tate is completely on the money in terms of stating men are biologically programmed to have sex with as many women as they can. As much as men have female types, if you are a young (or older!) man who has just discovered porn for the first time, it unlikely this man will jerk off to the same woman day in, day out. After a day or two, the tall blonde will soon be replaced with the short brunette or redhead. Ditto if he spent a year in a playboy mansion. He is not going to have sex with the same woman for the whole twelve months.
This analogy of porn and carte blanche sex household may seem like I am going off track, but my point is that men enjoy the variety of what the female species bring to the world. With this in mind, very few men, with no negative consequences to consider, will stay faithful in fidelity terms with their girlfriends, fiancés or wives.
My thoughts on Andrew Tate’s opinion on women
As for Tate’s view on women – that women cannot be unfaithful since they are programmed to find the most suitable man and be loyal to him – is perhaps where I lean away from full agreement with him. Without ever seeing any of his videos, this view of his strikes me as someone who believes a man with such high value (and I sense he is referring to himself in this bracket) is bullet proof from his female partner straying.
Let me start however with where I agree with him. As there is such a tiny ratio of high value men in respect to the much comparable higher numbers of physically attractive women, I think Tate’s point is that, in her experiences and suffocation living in environments with men who she is not attracted in the slightest to (or she thinks they are not good enough for her), when or if said woman does find herself in the arms of a highly sought after man, her natural inclination, and common sense, is to do everything within her power to make him happy and keep him to herself. Naturally, her loyalty and faithfulness come hand in hand with this mindset.
The part I slightly disagree with this somewhat ideology – that exampled woman cannot be unfaithful - is when she starts to find herself in the circles of other men who her high value male partner socializes or professes in. Whilst at the beginning she was as dedicated and unwavering as can be, the sheer contextual hypergamous female psychology that a woman possesses leaves her vulnerable to having it off with another man as (or slightly more) high value than her male partner. If you hear stories from professional sports teams or the music/acting world, where a woman is alleged to have cheated on her famous man with his colleague, the chances are this is sometimes more than just a rumour.
Q-tip: No man in the western world, irrespective of who he is, would with an ounce of sense gamble his life on a bet that his female partner will never cheat on him. There is always a scenario, no matter how remote or unlikely, where she could.
In essence then, Tate alludes to the point that a woman with a super high value man should be faithful to her man, and never cheat on him in the process. The reality is that, whilst this is true that she should be, and is, far more gratifying in said high value man’s arms than Joe Bloggs, it does not guarantee her fidelity always being in place.
High value men should be open about their gigolo lifestyle…
Andrew Tate states that, such is his extreme sought after value in conjunction with his female partner’s appreciation, a high value man of extreme measures can be open about his playboy lifestyle concurrent to having a female partner who he expects to stay devoted. Whilst I never advocate such arrogance on a topic close to my heart, he is partly correct in so far that a lot of women will put up with this.
No woman deep down wants to be cheated on, but women also hold strong inclinations to be with men who can cheat on them. This tug of war in her mind often leaves her with no option to stay with her cheating male partner. Statistics prove that divorce instigations based on female infidelity is equal to that of male infidelity (which would, without as many concrete facts, suggest that women generally cheat nearly as much as men in today’s world), but on an anecdotal perspective alone, it comes across to me that women (especially pre marriage) are far more likely to stay with cheating men than the inverse.
With all this considered though, no matter how famous, rich and in demand I could have ever become, I could not bring myself to be with a woman and ask her to accept me for sleeping with inundated other women. For one, I have too much of a conscience, but perhaps more importantly is I would lose a sense of respect for my female partner too.
If my main woman accepted me for sleeping around in her full knowledge, I would kind of see her as being cheap. Once I construe a woman to be cheaper than she once was, simultaneous to losing respect for her due to her compassion and understanding of me playing the field, this would manifest to me ultimately losing a level of attraction towards her. In essence then, I disagree with Tate in so far that, if I just look at it from a productive standpoint, the woman in this dynamic should just sit back and accept it for what it is.
A final thought
Adrian finally asks for my opinion on whether it is acceptable for a high value regular (but not famous) man to process in this way and expect his woman to abide by his “fill my boots” ways. I think I answered it above in expressed disagreement, but I will detail a little more.
The first thing to say is that, if a man is only high value in regular terms, I wish him good luck in locating a woman who will go along with this. I would expect this, in proof and knowledge terms at least, to be as common as rocking horse shit. If you are high value, then you should be with a hot woman. You will find it incredibly difficult to locate a hot woman who accepts you for putting your pork sword around, and why should she. As much as women love men who other women want, women (in particular hot women) have big egos and fragile prides. These female traits do not align with acceptance of being just another woman to his repertoire.
And once more, do you truthfully want to be with a woman who allows you to do this? As the saying goes, be careful what you wish for.
A final, final thought – how men and women differ in adultery mentality…
To wrap this all up then, it is worth spending a few lines on the polar opposite motivations to why men and women cheat – and as a by-product why they like the company of members of the opposite sex outside of their relationship partner.
To bring it all back to the beginning, men are drawn towards a need in sleeping with other women (even though only a tiny percentage of men have the attractiveness to do this, if they so choose) due to one, their love for sex, and two, their desire of female variety. In simple explanation, men think of their penises as pretty much the only motivator in this respect.
With women, it is vastly different. Whilst women enjoy sex nearly as much, if not as much, with the hottest men as men enjoy sex with the hottest women, this sexual enrichment a man can offer her is secondary to other factors. These other factors include the attention needs she attains in being with a man, the female inner feel good factor requirement that a man loves her, the need for female validation that a man has committed to her (even if this commitment is for short term sex), and the thrill of being perceived and thought of as a better woman than her female competitors (hence why a lot of women try and secure men who already have female partners).
This is why, even given the choice, a woman would only sleep with one other man in the simultaneous timeframe as being with her male partner. It would be extremely rare to find a woman sleeping with three, or more, men. On the other hand, a man would happily sleep with seven different women in the space of seven days.
In easy language, a woman’s need for attention will lead her to stray towards sleeping with another man, but this need of feeling good about herself has diminishing, in fact negative, returns on her self-fulfilment once it goes beyond two. This is why most women will only play one man off against another, and no more.
Thanks Vinay for making a post about it. And I didn’t explain further with what Tate said. He does say women cheat if they find a better man. (Which is hypergamy.) But when he says that women can’t cheat, is because he’s saying it’s different for a man and a woman to commit adultery. When a man does it, he’s a winner cause there’s not many men who can have sex with multiple women. But for a woman it’s much easier. She doesn’t really need to do anything cause there’s always men that will happily have sex with her. So if she goes around cheating then she’s a whore. But what you wrote further explained to me the dynamics between men and women. Specially when you wrote that men will happily cheat with multiple women, but women only with one. I’ve seen it firsthand since I'm that guy that girls with boyfriends go after. Not cause how I look, since you’ve written on this topic about the struggles of good looking men, but cause mentally I’m way ahead of whoever they’re dating. But thanks again for dedicating a post. I’ll keep reading your blog.ReplyDelete
Fair play mate. No problem too.Delete
Tate is right about the fact it is much more admiring if a man can get many women to sleep with him (caveat being that they are not all mingers), in comparison to a woman being frowned upon for this.
Whilst you could argue it is a hypocritical concept, life makes the rules. If a higher number of women punished men for sleeping around (in terms of staying away from these men in favour of men who are not as popular with women), then fewer men would sleep around. But women - due to their draw towards preselected men - prefer men who have had a high number (within reason) of female sexual partners. Conversely, men vote with their feet (or commitment) too. All else equal, >99% of men prefer women with a low sex partner history count than high in this respect.