"Show me the charts and I’ll tell you the news." (Bernard Baruch)
A reader asks for my view based on an abstract from this previous post:
Hey Vi Nay, I have a question on this part
"I have to say that if ever there is reinforcement required to illustrate how men deep in their thirties or older (providing these men look after themselves and keep looking young) can attract numerous women ranged as young as 18 to as old 45, then it shouldn’t be questioned any longer."
How does this apply to bald guys? Assuming they keep in shape as best as possible can a bald dude in his late 30s/early 40s still attract a woman in the 27-30 range? I know how much most women love hair and in some circles being bald is a looks destroyer.
Also off topic but wanted to ask as well, you mention the best thing a good looking guy can do to improve his chances with women is to improve all of his non-visual attributes, since women need to get something out of the deal to offset him being more attractive than she is.
Do you find good looking guys to be generally less ambitious than average looking / ugly guys?
It is well advised to, before dissecting further, lay out some ground rules in deriving to women’s preferences:
1) All else equal, a woman prefers to be with a man who is less physically attractive than she is.
2) Most women prefer to be with men who are older than they are.
3) Women will place the above two preferences to one side if they can gain in other ways – mainly through a man’s status and wealth.
4) Nearly all women, if honest, prefer a man with hair in contrast to a bald man.
This may sound like a straight-out negative answer to your query, but as you will see in a few minutes, there is a lot more positive to come out of this than you right now are most likely thinking.
In fact, instead of me giving an elaborate answer on this, I will simply reference you to this previous post on the subject. Handy I found that!
In summary to this topic though, yes, a man in his late 30s/early 40s can absolutely attract women in the 27-30 bracket. It is by no means a destroyer, as you put it. At worst, it will reduce the pool of women the bald man can attract. On smaller occasions, being bald may actually play in his favour.
Are good-looking guys less ambitious than average-looking/ugly guys?
This is an excellent question, and perhaps a no size fits all way to answer. Whenever this is the case, I can simply only analyse on a general basis.
The general rule of thumb and consensus is that the less physically attractive a man is, the more ambitious he will strive to be in order to bridge the gap between women’s higher attraction that is projected onto his better-looking male counterparts. This is, whilst it cannot be proven, unofficially true.
A man in this scenario will, deep down, know that he needs to offer women compensating factors in order to mitigate her lack of sexual attraction onto him. Some men (and women) even joke about this, but it is usually unspoken to avoid damaging each gender pride, ego and integrity.
With this being said then, on a wholesale basis it is a fair argument that average-looking and ugly men will be more ambitious and career-oriented to compensate for their lesser physical blessings. The more social status, occupational status, wealth, charisma, style, confidence and (perhaps most importantly) pre-selection evidence he can prove by the form of other women ignited to him he attains, the higher the number, and greater the quality, of women taking oversight to not being attracted to him on face value alone.
Between 16 to 23, most women “love” a man for who he is and not what he is. Between the female age of 24 to 32, and most women “love” a man for what he is and not who he is. Women aged 33 and beyond, and in particular those who have already been married and are mothers, fall somewhere in between the two extremes.
In comparison, many of the better-looking men at an early age (high school through to university age) will be in popular social groups where the hottest women are also to be seen. This often reduces a man’s inclination to be ambitious, as he has an easy life just getting laid with hot girls. Nevertheless, this good time has a small lifespan, and it is not anywhere close to achievable once women pass 23 years of age.
Exceptions to the rule
The exception to this general rule, and something which is ignored and not considered – basically because it applies to such a tiny minority of men, in addition to the average person’s lack of knowledge and/or lack of acceptance towards this circumstance – is when a top end (top 1%) physically attractive man will in fact need to be equally as ambitious as the average to ugly men as explained.
When a man is very good-looking, and if he attains a level of status, confidence, style and charisma which is also way above the average man’s yardstick, logic suggests that he can almost just sit back and not do anything that reflects ambition or improves his life - such is the likelihood so many women will be queuing up to be with him. In reality and practice however, this is not the case. At least, once more, when women age past 23.
A man of this highest calibre in physical attractiveness will give off the impression to pretty much all women that he can have his pick of each one of them. Whilst nearly all these women will find him physically attractive, and they will have fantasies of sleeping with him, in practice the vast majority of these women will not go near him. At least, once again, unless it falls in her most fertile few days in the month.
A woman in this predicament - whose heart and sexual impulses are telling her "yes", but her ego and insecurity is telling her "no" - cannot feel special enough in herself, such is the knowledge she holds that so many other women are attracted to him. Add on her trust, insecurity and ego issues, and she plays the game of a safer bet with a lesser looking man.
What this all loopholes back to, in a kind of bizarre way, is that the high sought-after man needs to mitigate this female resistance by offering women something that will remove their irritable mindset of his male beauty. The easiest explanation to this would be a great-looking famous sports star, film star, or similar. These men will have a conveyor belt of the hottest women lining up to be with him, but it isn’t because of his physical allure. Women will still have the same issues with him being physically eye catching, but the lure of money, fame, easy life and popularity kills this nagging feeling to a degree that allows them to know there is far more to gain than there is to lose.
In essence then, it isn’t so much that better-looking men are less ambitious than lesser-looking men, as much as lesser-looking men are more ambitious than better-looking men. The nuance in these words should not be ignored.
I hope this clarifies both points to your question.
First, a man’s baldness will act as more of a negative than a positive, but it isn’t a deal-breaker. It is not a dissimilar comparison to a man being shorter than the average male height. In both cases, there are opportunities for the bald or shorter man to elevate the kind of woman he can acquire if taken from standing start.
Second, the less physically attractive a man is, the more ambitious he will need to be in appealing to sought-after and younger women.
All else being equal, upper average-looking to above average-looking men (6.5/10 to 7.75/10) have the largest pool of women to choose from. They are good-looking enough to attract women and consequently have women give them an opportunity, but not below this benchmark to where diminishing returns exist due to a woman believing she can do far better.