“Some aspects of life have manifested in a race to the bottom. At times it feels like people throw an inundated amount of shit at the wall, playing the numbers game in ultimate hope that eventually some of it sticks.”
It could be teenage girls rambling on about nothing when you walk past them during walking your dog. Maybe it is early 20’s women – in the prime of their physical looks and social options life pinch point – slagging off their friends, boyfriend, or a man who has effectively treated her like shit (which ironically is kind of what she desires anyway). In today’s era, it can also be women in their mid to late 20’s, extending the period when they really should have grown out (but unfortunately they have not) of acting like their immature former self ten years ago. Perhaps you have recently played school pick up role of Dad or Uncle, and you overhear women in their 30’s or even 40’s speaking amongst their peers about the social media goings on in their pitiful small local network. And whilst thank god not as common, but equally growing in number, you even today find women in their 50’s, 60’s and heaven help us 70’s still looking for ways to keep the flame burning in their lives as a product of exaggerated stories.
The long and the short of it is, if you are willing to let yourself be dragged into some sort of commitment with >95% of women – no matter how big (hence living together, engagement or marriage) or small (short to medium term dating) this commitment is to be – you need to be fully prepared that the modern day woman is a species striving for drama in her life on a factory line basis, and it shows no sign of slowing down any time soon. If you somehow do land on a dime where the woman you are involved with doesn’t seem to be one to grasp an ounce of drama at any given opportunity, you are most likely a man living in vain hope, ignorance of reality, or simple lack of experience with women to compare a pool of averages.
If you find a woman where everything in the early stages seems too good to be true, it is because it probably is (too good to be true).
The recent scenario
Last Sunday I was on a very quick early gym session before rushing off to see my young nephew play his first football match. I had only been working out for ten minutes when I could hear some kind of verbal commotion about ten yards away. Sat on one of the static benches was the male gym duty manager, although I assume he wasn’t working at that particular time. His verbal shouting opponent was a female Personal Trainer / employee in her work uniform. He is a slightly above average looking guy with what seems like small man’s syndrome issues, whilst she has always come across as quite friendly in addition to her cute physical attractiveness of 7/10. She’s a bit too bow-legged for my liking, although facially very pretty.
They went at it for about ten minutes, and the basis of it was her waxing not so lyrical about just “some guy she knows.” He was giving as good as he got back, but I couldn’t grasp quite what he was replying with. I presumed the two of them were together emotionally in some capacity.
A week on (hence today), and I was queuing for opening. She got out her car and towards the door, commenting on that she thought the doors would be open. She called someone on her phone, and a minute later the man referenced above, this time in his work clothing, opened up. As I walked to the changing rooms, I heard her say just something routine to him.
About twenty minutes into my workout, I moved to the other side of the gym (which is near the reception area) to finish off the last half of chest routine. Low and behold, the two of them were at it again, and they continued on and off for approximately ten minutes. I have to confess that for a few minutes last week it was kind of amusing. Today it just came across as tedious, pitiful and desperate. Not a grain of discretion or professionalism between the pair. Then again, what should I expect from two gym workers in a chavvy side of Derby (with respect!).
My interaction with her
For the last ten minutes I went over to the TRX area to do some core work. She came over to the blackboard which is situated over there prior to her 9am body pump class tuition. I sarcastically said to her that I don’t need to watch any soap operas when her and that guy are going at it, to which she laughed and just said “oh, we’re just friends having a disagreement.” I said to her, with a smirk on my face, that from my experience when someone hates another person that passionately there is a deep-rooted emotional attraction for them. She impulsively denied this, saying they were just friends. I said they seem more like a married couple. She questioned to me if I never have arguments with my friends. I replied in stating not really, and I added that I wouldn’t argue with a woman I wasn’t into as she would mean nothing to me to waste energy on (in retrospect, that isn’t completely true as I could argue with an unattractive provocative woman or a cock block etc…).
On the back of my comment about not arguing with a woman I’m not attracted to, I sensed a slight hesitation on her part, almost like she was trying to work this out. She would have thought one of the two possibilities, each with contrasting outcomes to her ego:
- She could have taken this as a positive strike to her ego in interpreting my words as the guy finding her attractive.
- She could have taken this as an immediate negative blow to her ego, in construing my platonic demeanour towards her as me being unattracted.
Most likely, as women will do anything to send themselves to the moon, she will focus on the former. In any case, not for a moment do I believe they are just friends. Friends with benefits is the most likely circumstance.
Women handle a friends with benefits relationship far worse than men. This is purely because women, outside of prostitutes or porn actresses, find it much harder to disassociate passion and sex with emotional commitment. Men on the other hand can easily go into a no strings attached agreement with a woman on a sex only basis, and quite happily not become emotionally involved. This is, from a man’s perspective, because although he will happily not knock a gift horse in the mouth, deep down he has ruled her out as long term girlfriend or wife material – such is the too easy access to sex and questioning how many men she has done it with, or will do it with again.
To put another way, a man can have sex with a woman without attaining even a pint-sized pocket of love projected onto her. As alluded to above, easy sex outside of committed relationships will only conceivably distance any prospective love he could have onto her. Conversely, once a woman has had sex with a man or is contemplating having sex with him, the likelihood is she has some kind of (if not pure) twisted loving feeling towards him.
Don’t be the one to save the jerk loving / drama hunting woman
As I have directlyand indirectly explained in these two previous posts, when a woman has a clear inclination for jerks, or she has stated how unlucky she is and always ends up with men who treat her badly, she is one to stay away from in terms of commitment. Have your fun with her, but draw the line there. In spite of being a little above average looking, 5ft 6” maximum in height, and working in a low paid profession – hence objectively not of high sought after male calibre - my better judgement tells me the man referenced in this post has an element of jerky reputation that has been manifested into the woman’s mind. This attraction of his jerkiness is all the more compounded when it is a man somewhere floating in the circle of people she knows personally. Women of today’s era find a greater need for drama produced from their small WhatsApp links or similar, than meeting men from corners they don’t know first-hand.
A woman who has a history of dating jerks and/or men who are apathetic towards her will tell and usually convince nice guys – as >80% of men are nice guys – that all this is based on bad luck and nothing to do with her subconscious (or sometimes conscious) choices to go for men who bring the most drama to her life. I always go by simple statistics. If she dipped her hand in a bag looking the other way and 8 to 9 balls were green (nice guys) and 1 to 2 balls were red (jerks), would she pick out a red ball every time? I think not.
A final thought
Women who strive for a constant and indefinite need for drama, often connected to dating jerks, are effectively women who cannot grow up in maturity terms. You can reason and comprehend with a female mind following the natural innate character make up that is a teenage girl who goes for what is forbidden and in addition to feed her inner drama queen, but in order to be prepared to commit to a woman and put your financial, emotional, time and psychological well-being on the line, you have to be firm and predict that if she hasn’t grown out of this by 23, she probably never fully will. And this will implicate on you in due course when she becomes bored of the stable relationship she has found with you.
In essence, you have a choice. Go balls deep and hope for the most in committing to one of these women, or play a much safer game in the law of averages by acting apathetic, indifferent, non-committal and jerky towards her. The irony is, in spite of telling all her friends that she wants nothing more than a nice guy to treat her right, the truth is she would end up with greater unhappiness with this “perfect guy” than she would do in being with the man who treats her like dog crap.
Over the last decade or even more, dating has proved to be much more difficult for some reason. We have all become quite specific when it comes to the type of people we want to date and more often than how to cuckold husbandReplyDelete