Thursday 12 September 2019

Man being sexually harassed by women

“Conscious manipulation, or an uncontrollable cry for help?”

F Sharp asks for my thoughts on the below:

“Good day mate! I hope that this message finds you well. I read your article called "Isolated occasions of women complimenting men’s looks", and I got to thinking: have you ever had (I'm sure that you have) any incidences with female sexual harassment at work? I don't mean you being the aggressor, but the victim... I keep having this issue and I don't know the best way to deal with it (sales, customer service, and even construction). Any advice, or could you write a small guide for how to handle it?
P.S. I understand that you have your own engagements in life and more important topics to articulate, but if you ever have a moment to write a guide for men in this scenario, I would be much obliged!”

My response:

Had I not previously received genuine emails from F Sharp on other topics where advice was requested, and it was consequently from another reader, I would suspect a comment of this kind may have been aggressively written with an element of tongue in cheek attached.  However, knowing F Sharp in a social media context per se, I take every word he wrote as genuine and honest.  I know there are some readers, and haters (both women and men), who cannot stand the subscriptions I make in terms of aspects related to very good-looking men, but so be it.  I’ll still write what I like, I’ll still speak what I see when necessary, and ultimately, I’ll restfully still sleep at night.

First, a direct answer to the question.  No, I have never been sexually harassed by women in the workplace.  Coming to think of it, I have never been sexually harassed by a female member of society in any environmental situation.  The closest I can think is some years ago when on a night out when a woman, most likely striving for troll points in front of her friends, said to me from five yards away: “You’re making me wet just by looking at you.”
As she wasn’t the most arousing of women, I just smiled and replied: “You’re welcome.”

The only other times which I could say comes close to any kind of female sexual harassment is the usual excuse to just touch me on the shoulder or make out that I looked stressed in subsequently massaging me, but for me this is just flirty interaction as opposed to downright sexual contact.  Besides, in some cases I was more than happy to be touched by younger female colleagues. 

In essence, I guess it depends on a man’s interpretation to what female sexual harassment constitutes.  For the purpose of online definition:
 Sexual Harassment:
Behaviour characterized by the making of unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks or physical advances in a workplace or other professional or social situation.

With the definition now looked upon more closely, I suppose in this case I have then in fact been sexually harassed by women on more occasions than I’ll ever remember.  Nevertheless, to reiterate in my view I wouldn’t class it as anything more than flirtatious, maybe even desperate, female actions in getting that bit closer to me.

It’s funny because I don’t think I ever really acknowledged that female sexual harassment projected onto men even existed until I saw the Indecent Proposal movie on DVD.  I recall finding the whole film somewhat bizarre, to the point of thinking that if I was Michael Douglas, I’d just let Demi Moore carry on with her advances and enjoy the ride, so to speak.

Anyway, this clearly has given F Sharp some disturbance, and it needs to be answered and thought upon seriously.  First, it all depends on how much anxiety it is causing you.  If it is an experience like that as explained in my life, I simply wouldn’t do anything.  Remember that any notification you make to your Human Resources will, no matter how much you ask for it to be treated in confidence, conceivably result in word getting out that it was you who reported a level of sexual harassment.  You will only be laughed at, sneered at, or looked down upon for doing this. 

If it is genuinely causing you trepidation, discomfort or a sour taste in your mouth for the start of every day, then I can only suggest having a quiet word with the woman/women who are interacting with you in this way.  I’d try and nip it in the bud that way, perhaps just stating you find it flattering yet uncomfortable due to the working environment.  Another reason you could give is that your boss has commented on this and you think it could have a detriment on your progression (ironically, if you have a female line manager this attention you receive from other women could have positive results if she is a hot boss, or negative results if she is older and/or ugly).

I appreciate this may not be the advice you were looking for, but it is difficult for me to state anything more productive when I can only view it as something to not take too seriously.

Further female flirty thoughts – fertile/horny week

I was intending to write a bespoke post on this subject, and I may still do so, but for now I will write a few words on how any man, especially a highly gifted aesthetic man, can use the one week out of four female fertile period to his advantage.  I must be honest and confess that the penny never dropped on my plate for many years into my experience with women, but once comprehensive to the undeniability of real life, my success to become intimate with women vastly improved.

Ultimately, women possess two mating strategies that represent the alpha fux beta bux phrase that is now accustomed to any man who knows the first thing about good ladies from our opposite sex.  For three weeks (give or take a day or two) out every four weeks, a woman will usually be more than content with her average looking, pleasant, safe, reliable and providing male partner who receives very little attention from female counterparts.  This man is good for her ego, makes her feel like a princess, and will nearly always be someone she can plan a long term with.

The problem, for her and him, is when she arrives at the start of day ten on her menstrual cycle, up until typically day fifteen or sixteen.  This one week out of four leaves her with an innate and uncontrollable urge to seek out edgier, more popular and better-looking men than the male partner she accompanies.  I’d go as far to say that in this day and age, if most women only have a full-on night out one in every four weekends, they will make best attempts to ensure the date is planned around the most fertile and horny window week. 

During this one week out of four, a woman’s taste for men drastically takes a turn.  If man thinks marriage, or even being a mother, changes this habit then think again.  It only compounds her urge; such is now her dwindling sexual predilection to the male long-term partner.  The only implication marriage and kids may have on some women is their resistance to carry out infidelity actions due to the consequences involved, but don’t bet on too many married women and/or mothers holding down this level of integrity, loyalty and faithfulness.

It’s ironic that when a man gets married and becomes a father, he becomes more attractive to nearly every other woman in his social or working network apart from to the woman he married or is the mother of his child.

But if you are a man who naturally attracts women at ease, it would be prudent to take full advantage of this female wonder week.  Women who usually give you the cold shoulder (due to your gender relative higher physical attractiveness) or women in stable relationships will show far greater proactive, physical contact and proximity signs that they would like to get to know you better.  This window only lasts a matter of days (often only one day in that week if you don’t see her day in day out), therefore pick up on it as soon as you can.  Because once day sixteen passes, there will be another three weeks where she goes back into her shell and is happy for Monsieur Dependable.  You may not see her during the next window opening.

These signs are easy to pick up on, because as stated above, her habits, body language, likeability and closeness onto you will positively change for six or seven days.  What is all usually negative, acrimonious, unreceptive and unfriendly behaviour on her part, takes a 180-degree turn.

This is effectively why a woman can never be truly happy or consistent in her relationship life, because she must carry out two roles for every month of her life.  You could make an argument to question why the hell any man in his right mind would get married and place himself in such risky waters.  Then again, most men know nothing about women, and what makes them tick, or not.


  1. Firstly, thank you for taking the time to respond to my inquiries- truly! Secondly, I am stealing that "You're welcome" retort. Thirdly, "...your boss has commented on this and you think it could have a detriment on your progression"- THIS!!! The lady in question supersedes me in position(but neither in competence nor experience), and after I have refused her "advances"(in front of her female colleagues- more than once mind you) she has now started to report "errors" in my work and has taken it upon herself to critique me on everything... plus ça change I suppose...

    Further female flirty thoughts – fertile/horny week: This is a most engaging topic! I look forward to the complete article.

    "Monsieur Dependable"- most amusing XD!

  2. No problem mate.
    It sounds like a classic case of female sour grapes in the face of your no apology rejection of her advances. Looks like a new job is the best advice I can give now, unless there is any chance of her moving on? There will be no going back on your part, so grab the bull by the horns and venture to pastures new. For the record, document her reporting of your errors and have substantiation that she is telling lies about this.

    Coming to think of it, there was a HR manager a few years back who kept sending me social media messages. This was after I had recovered from my cancerous illness, to which she was very supportive throughout. One day (after the lack of social media responses back from me), she came up to me and said "I'm not pretty enough for you, am I?" (she was quite right bearing in mind she was >10 years older than me!) She walked off immediately after ending the sentence. It never really had any adverse effect on progression, but she was never as friendly again.

    1. Indeed! It is highly unlikely that she will move on, so I shall follow your advice to the letter- much appreciated!

      "...she was quite right..." Your sense of humour is something that I plan on remodeling into my own façon de parler

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  4. Hi Vinay,

    I would definitely appreciate a post of yours on the female fertile/horny week. I think this conundrum is often glossed over or not discussed in any blogs I see related to gender relations.

    As a fellow good looking guy, I struggled with this for many months, often to the point of wanting to pull out my hair. A girl I meet out would be into me, touchy and flirty,etc. But yet I struggle to get dates and then a few months go by and I see her with her boring boyfriend. It didn't make much sense to me until I started to figure out that basically we are dealing with 2 different women in one body.

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