“If you were a man, I’d punch you in the face.”
“If you were a man, you would.”
This process of events won’t be uncommon for many men. You can’t keep doing this for ever, and nor should you. Life is about experiences and trying out different things, after all. Nevertheless, the above explanation symbolizes more than just the natural course of a man’s social life in numbers terms. The dwindling of numbers is more representative to how most men have an innate mindset to change once they meet a woman at a young age, and the decisions they act upon on the back of this.
It’s important to note that when I was 18, the whole Instagram and social media whoring – far more accustomed to women of today’s generation than men - had not taken off. The ratio of men to women at these tacky holiday resorts, or local town/city nights out generally, was at least two to one. This ratio enlarged for every hour that passed as the night progressed - women leave the scene, men stay on in hope to get laid. The groups of men tended to be of at least six in quantity as an average, and to the naked eye the likewise female group would be no more than four.
Although I can’t comment today with regards to the overseas group holiday locations (I haven’t taken part on one for many years), things have changed drastically based on my firm observations when on a UK city night out. Whilst the ratio of men to women is still as a minimum two to one, the male groups are considerably smaller in number than the female groups. The easy assumption is to think women have more friends than men in today’s world, but the more accurate explanation is that women, with their “safety in numbers” and social proof (“look how popular I am” belief) mentality to assist them, have more acquaintances.
Don’t be fooled by social gatherings and Facebook “friend” quantities. The reality is that men have more solid friends but fewer acquaintances, and women have many more acquaintances but fewer close friends.
As an add on to the above, it is a fair but unproven assumption that men’s friends are more loyal and genuine, whilst women’s friends are based from a greater convenience and social validation perspective. Taken further, a man’s friend has his back, yet a woman’s friend would stab her in the back if it meant progressing her (the stabber’s) life for the better.
You only need to look at a pretty girl’s social media page against a man of equivalent physical attractiveness. I know of many upper end cute and lower end hot women who have a thousand plus “friends” or followers, yet the equivalent man in gender relative terms will attain not even close to this number. There are four main reasons:
· Women have a far greater inner need for social proof and to believe they are popular; therefore, a huge percentage of women will be connected to female counterparts they barely know, are indifferent towards, or even dislike.
· Men have a far lesser need for social proof and to believe they are popular (although being popular with well-known people will attract the opposite sex), and they are not as proactive in screening for other male “friends”.
· Men, especially at a younger age, will actively strive in being connected to pretty girls. There is no other explanation than their hope and aspiration, no matter how small the likelihood, that this will lead to intimacy with the girl.
· Women, especially at a younger age (when their prides and egos are at the highest point), will not actively strive to be connected with other men. Many women will even decline social media propositions from a man if she thinks he is not up to her street cred, and many pretty women will reject social media friend requests from hot guys they are not familiar with (as they don’t want their profile spotlight taken away from them by aesthetically gifted men).
Side note to above:Social media has strongly contributed to the rise of female insecurity and self-consciousness. This is rivalled only by celebrity magazines and some Reality TV shows (or any source that shows inundated photographs/images of very attractive women). The more a woman looks at herself, the more doubts she has. The more a woman sees visions of other pretty women (whether famous or not), the greater her inhibition of her own beauty. Unfortunately, this increase in women viewing other hot women has not decreased female egos and expectations in the slightest way. Quite the contrary.
Men leaving groups
Perhaps as relevant as the ugly consequence of social media producing an attention-seeking woman far in excess of previous generations is the comprehension towards how heterosexual relationships impact on individual decision making. During the prime physical attractiveness timeframe for most men and women between 18 to 30, a female existence will be far more sought after by men than a male existence will be sought after by women – on a vast majority basis. This is primarily due to women in this age bracket generally being far easier on the eye and sexually desired by men than the inverse. This circumstance manifests in men striving harder to locate a woman he desires to be his girlfriend, and once there, and with the inevitability he is “punching above his weight” in physical looks, he will (wrongly) put more far into the relationship in endeavour, financial, compromise and sacrificial terms than she will. Many a man even wants to do this, such is his lack of success with women on nights out and in the dating market as a whole.
What this means, at least in the early stages (and often the early years if they stay together indefinitely) of the relationship, is the man will be far more grateful to be with his girlfriend than her gratitude (or lack of) to be with him. He will often think he has scored the star raffle prize, especially if she is hotter than his usual accustomed history. Any organized male night out won’t be a big motivation, and he will likely, and happily, make up excuses to not partake in.
Women staying in the group
On the other hand, if the woman does not feel at all grateful to be with her boyfriend, and the decision and motives to be with him are based on his expenditure, her required self-validation that a man loves her, him giving her an ego boost due to his comparative lesser physical attractiveness, and using him as a stop-gap concurrent to her other friends all being in relationships, you will find many women staying on in the female group nights out. She will always be on the lookout for someone better, to the point when she accepts he is the best she can do and the one who can give her a passport to the life another more sought after man will not offer her.
Q-Tip 2:Most women aren’t happy, or necessarily unhappy, with the man they are with. What they are is mildly content. It is simply a case of selling her chips when she believes the roulette won’t spin favourably again.
Most women aren’t happy, or necessarily unhappy, with the man they are with. What they are is mildly content. It is simply a case of selling her chips when she believes the roulette won’t spin favourably again...ReplyDelete
My good man..sometimes I wish I took the blue pill..
Dont you ever wished you took the blue pill..and be happy? in ignorance?..
Red pill destroys the innocence ..or the feeling..aghh...
But also gives you power the red pill..even is hard to swallow indeed...
But I happy you are posting again..
Thank you brother..what you write is the truth,even if is painful to even contemplate...never mind living it!
The fact I can fully comprehend, admire and accept the ugly truths red pill concepts and reality bring is because I was once the blue pill guy. I guess any honest man (maybe with the exception of famous males who always had it easy due to certain inherited circumstances) will accept he had to go through the blue pill stage first to acknowledge the dirty facts.Delete
I wouldn't change my current mindset at all, in the vast majority of cases. Nevertheless, I do agree with what I believe you are alluding to. When a person is so dripped with red pill mentality, it can sometimes make you overthink and not act as impulsive as you sometimes wish you had done.
It's a bit academic and theoretical, but not irrelevant:Delete
Gender Attraction Differential
The Cheating Algorithm
Good links. As you say, it is a little too theoretical, but he does a good job to relate it to the practical/real life spectrum.Delete
Chateau Heartiste wrote a good post on the subject of the OKCupid study. Basically he wrote what half-clued up men should already know, but he also touched on how women fear rejection far more than men, therefore they (women) will send messages to men they view as being physically unattractive. Men on the other hand, with not close to the fragile prides and high egos (when it comes to emotional rejection in particular), will happily send messages to a top end blessed looking woman even with a pre-conceived idea she will reject him or not respond.
The guy narrating in the youtube link summarizes perfectly. That is: Most relationships are destined for failure at the start, as women will always have higher expectations to what a man can provide for her than he realistically can achieve. She thinks she has done him a favour from the start, and over time she resents him for it (even though ironically over time a woman loses her sexual market value much quicker than a man does).
There are of course other topics that can be discussed on the back of this study, most of which I will have covered in this blog.