“Life is a simple concept. It’s only people who make it complicated.”
A reader makes a few interesting points on the back of this previous post:
Hello Vi Nay,
I have really enjoyed your post, the story about Bunny and Ben is definitely fantastic ! You said : « If a man doesn't hit her emotional buttons early on, it isn't going to ever happen. Chemistry isn't something that you wake up with out of the blue.». I agree with these words but as you know a woman or girl can't get any chemistry with beta male because a beta male looks unattractive, his obvious lack of confident, his betattitude (beta manners) are immediately detected by the girl he tempt to approach. As you said a girl will only say yes to a beta male if she doesn't get the attention she desires with an attractive alpha male around her. My question is : You seems to say that a girl get chemistry only with an attractive man = alpha, on other side the chemistry in a natural feeling no one can't create it, so : HOW a beta male can hit a girl emotional buttons early ? For me, a beta male will always suffer until he gets conscience that his manner to value a good looking girl immediately high value than him will make him unhappy and treated like shit in the future. Without acting like alpha is impossible for a beta to hit a girl emotional buttons early. What do you think about that ?
My tips (with additions to the response I gave him):
If a beta male insists or persists in staying beta, or he refuses to change even with knowledge to how the world and women work, he will forever make the same mistakes and sustain the failures and rejections that accompany the consequential choice that these characteristics produce. Enough said...
The way a beta can enhance not just his fortunes with women, but life generally too, is as follows:
- Put on some muscle. Not in a beefcake way, but enough to stand out above the average guy. This more dominant body frame will cloud some of his mediocre facial projection, and make women find him more instinctively attractive. Unless he has very high status, a man without a presence is a man who radiates zero attention onto himself.
- Dress more stylish and unique. Similar to the body frame, women's eyes will project more easily onto him as opposed to the invisibility he once attained.
- Smell good. Not many men wear a classy eau de toilette on frequent occasions. This is mainly due to fear of releasing moths from the wallet, but partly due to fear of what other men will think. Who gives a crap about what other men think? Not me. Wear it daily, but purchase a few in refraining from predictability. I can assure you that six to eight sprays of a good fragrance will leave a smile on women’s faces when they encroach onto your vicinity, and as a ramification they will find you more sexually arousing than just a soap and water combo. A man smelling good and fresh can somewhat conceal his lack of physical allure.
- Maximize your career profile, without compromising other appealing factors. I’m a great believer that, generally speaking, the more ambitious a man is in work, the less ambitious he can with in his outside work life (as ambition usually comes with working longer hours with more stress involved). Nevertheless, a good job that arrives with high occupational status and earnings undeniably attracts just about every woman with a pulse. Bear in mind though that a man with money is only as good as his game, to the point where too much money – and the over expenditure he distributes on his loved one – will actually repel her over time. Why? Because she never had to work hard to please him.
- Get involved with a social proof group, no matter how local to the environment this is. Even a beta male - looking, acting and dressing in exactly the same way as always - will attract women far easier when he belongs to a "popular" group. Women, especially young women, love male high social status, and hanging out in a well-known gathering will not only open many more opportunities with women, but it will make him far more appealing to them.
- Treat women like crap. An extreme view I know, but far more advantageous than treating her like a princess.
- If the above jerkiness brings about too much self-guilt, at least develop a mindset of "women are easily replaceable." This adapts a far more efficient attitude onto women and life, and the female mind and sexual organs are uncontrollably attracted onto an apathetic viewing.
- Portray positive body language and confidence. Illustrate this every day, and everywhere. It is far easier to learn and deliver non-verbal demeanour than to become a natural verbal executor (if speaking doesn't come naturally to you). Remember that women, and people generally, notice and focus on body language and tone way above the content of words. Use it in the ratio that benefits most.
- Eradicate bad habits and actions from your character portfolio. Walk with stand-out posture rather than slouched shoulders, a hood over your head, and big earphones on. Negative posture reflects a lack of confidence, but it is emblematic of high insecurity and self-consciousness. These habits belong to women, but women can get away with it due to primarily and almost solely being judged on their looks in time constrained moments. Men can’t get away with it, because they are judged by women far more on attitude than physical looks. There are times to go toe to toe with women – and replicating what they do - when it comes to the mind games, but acting in body language terms like a woman is accustomed to do so is a no-go zone.
- Learn interaction strategy (aka game). Work out what makes women tick emotionally, and use it accordingly to enhance your attractiveness and noticeability when approaching or interacting with women. Nevertheless, don’t go overboard with game and learn too many role play openers. Less is more in this case, as it can border over to a man trying too hard. Women see through this, so a teaspoon in these instances trumps a tablespoon.
- Study red pill concepts. The world isn’t perfect, no matter how we may desire it to be, and nothing epitomizes this more than women’s choices in the men they are attracted to. Further realize that even when women make logical decisions, it is often down to being boxed into a corner (hence having fewer options than before, or an urge to settle down) than a natural attraction onto the chosen man.
- As a by-product of interaction strategy and red pill, learn about female emotional psychology in the form of blogs like this one. Don’t expect learning tools on bookshelves to help you out, as this literature is predominantly written by male suck-up lapdogs, feminists, or ego-seeking women. They won’t give you the truth or objectivity. Once you work out women, and their mentality, decisions, and physical decline, you will be in control of your own destiny.
- Have thorough comprehension that your overall average physical attractiveness – as >95% of men will fall into – is actually an advantage rather than a show-stopper. This is all the more relevant in terms of your mediocre facial features. All else being on parity, women prefer to be in relationships with men who are less physically attractive than they are, and this includes cute and hot women. Don’t think that every average looking man alongside a much hotter female partner is a professional footballer or a millionaire. The numbers just do not stack up this way. The majority of these men are just run of the mill earners. With this in mind, strive to grade up by 10% to 15% (or more) on your own objective rating. If you think you’re a 6/10, a 7/10 cute chick is more than attainable. A 7/10 looking man should be with a 7.5/10 looking woman at least.
- Finally, force it upon yourself to think like nobody is watching you. Rejection, failure, shortcomings, and trepidation of how people respond to you would almost entirely be erased if you were the only person in the environment when acting out the relevant moves.
It’s unrealistic, although not impossible, to tick every box above. For example, I have never held desires to belong to a high social proof group, despite knowing this would have given me easier and more opportune avenues with cute and hot women. I guess this is partly down to having less necessity due to having a unique look and character, but mainly due to, from my experience, knowing that men in the local popular groups are generally unintelligent and up their own arse guys who are not enjoyable to be around. Whilst I may criticize perennial nice guys in their dealings with women, I would take their company any day of the week over a well-known jerk who just so happens to know a few decent women.
But if a man can look to improve his overall existence by abiding by even just a few of the points given, he will unquestionably be much better off than before.
I’m from the camp that believes beta males are often afraid to stand up to a woman due to fear of upsetting her, throwing away any chances of getting laid, or just downright sympathy when the tears roll down her face in a cry for help. So if you are one of these men, allow me to throw this one at you:
Hi Vi Nay,
Nice article, your advices are very realistic and I had much pleasure reading your article, and I want to add another tip : -“Keep in your mind WOMEN ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL”.
Personally, I use to read and re-read again some of your articles because they are very interesting. I agree with you a beta male doesn’t have the choice, he has to learn how to interact with women if he doesn’t want to be often rejected by women and always feel pathetic, unfortunate and low self-esteem. Your headline is « How a beta can become stronger » by other means « How to become a stronger beta », but there is a slight difference between a « stronger beta » and an authentic alpha « alpha ».
When you say: « Put on some muscle, Dress more stylish and unique, Maximize your career profile,…..(alpha attitudes) », yes you are absolutely right, no one can’t deny it but acting like an alpha is not enough, a beta has also to think like an alpha. For me, a « stronger beta » always be a beta admittedly an “improved beta” or a “better beta”. By other means a stronger beta = Pickup Artist (puk) because this is a beta male who have learned to mimic alpha attitudes/ behaviour to pick up women. This beta will look and act exactly like an alpha, but it's a facade.
For me, another tip that can help a beta to become an alpha not only a stronger beta (fake alpha), is to adopt another mentality/mind and put in His Mind : WOMEN ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL. Alphaness is not only about to imitate alpha attitudes or alpha manners, alphaness is a state of mind.
While reading one remark got all my attention: «Treat women like crap. An extreme view I know, but far more advantageous than treating her like a princess “, alpha doesn’t not only treat women like crap , he really thinks that they are like that. A beta can try to treat women like crap for a while but he will not be able to maintain this attitude because of his mind. In his mind he thinks that women are precious and he is their white knight, treat them like crap is unnatural for him, it is difficult to do something when you are not convinced or he will be intentionally deceptive until he will found the “special one” then return himself in beta modus. A beta male use to idolize women and put them immediately on pedestal when he interacts with women. He can’t help getting oneits after oneits, a beta male life is a succession of breakups, disillusionment, low self-esteem and the worst of all is that the beta feels guilt, he will continue eternally to ask himself: “Why women don’t like me? I’ am nice guy and treat them like the queens….. So What’s wrong with me?”I know what I’m talking about because I used to be a beta male and acting like one, when I think about the period of my life I felt ashamed but I learned a big lesson! My true story: - I ‘am 32 years old and I met a woman (she was 25 years old), she seemed well educated, respectable, quiet, polite and easy going. As a beta I immediately fell in love with her (beta thing) and I began to see her as far higher value to me, pedestalising her to the highest level in the false belief someone of my low standing could ever have attracted such a woman. I used to text her every day needless to say I always been the one who texted first, I showed her in an obvious manner that I was interested into her and available for her. To sum up: I was predictable and I was not a challenge for her, she never had to work (hard) to please me. I remember when she replayed my text messages, I felt happy of course blinded by her supposed specialness, I couldn’t help to say to myself how lucky I was to interact with that kind of « special woman ». I was happy in the knowledge my life was COMPLETE that I founded “the one”, the only one in the million and sure I was the luckiest man in the world, I continued to treat her like a queenIn my mind, she was the unique and a different one needless to say that it was unimagible/unthinkable thinking of her getting pounded out by another guy.
( Part 2)Delete
I used to dream about the moment when she will finally allow me to make love to her and in my dream it was only in the missionary position because a respectable woman like her can’t do all dirty things other women do. As a beta gameless male I continued to pedestalize that woman, unaware of her real exploits and ignorant of the fact that woman (like most of the women in this society) don’t really want to be on that pedestal in the first place.
5 weeks after our meeting and without any argument between us she started to be colder and distant, she began to treat me like shit, she ignored my text messages pretending that she was busy with her job. The situation was incomprehensible, 5 weeks earlier I was a happy man with a special woman by my side and 5 weeks later I was lonely without any explanation!! I couldn’t imagine my life without my special one, as a clueless beta I began to text her that I would anything for her and that she was princess, without knowing the reason she ignored or what I did wrong I promise her that I will do anything to deserve a woman like her (full beta attitude = Big mistake) needless to say that she replayed me a simple sms : I’m busy. At that period in my mind I felt inferior to her, she was high value than me and her love was high value than mine. Few days after her silence she officially rejected me by a simple sms she said: « Hi, you are a really good man but I prefer to stop my relationship with you » , by other means she got enough of my beta manners (too much nice guy, needy,... ), I know now that during our short relationship I was her “ego-boost”. Then she stopped all contacts with me and she never looked back. I tried to convince myself that I didn’t deserve a special woman and the I would never found a woman like her (beta thing of course). I remember that few days after the rejection I felt guilt, my self-esteem was down I couldn’t stop think: « If I could turn back I would show her all my love and demonstrate her how we can be the happiest couple in the world! », in my mind all was about what I can do to make her loves me , and what I can do for her NOT what she can do for me.
While I was making some researches on google like: “How can I get my ex back?”, she was happily living her life and partying. Only one week after my rejection, a friend of mine had told me that he saw her in a Party, and when my friend was getting back to his car in parking he saw her stroking and kissing passionately another guy (a married guy) in a car, Now I know that guy fucked her that night and several times after. Of course when I knew that I was devastated I couldn’t imagine my princess do depraved things like any woman!!! I was really shocked, why and how a well educated and respectable woman that I had labelized “special woman” can allow a married guy to fuck her in a parking like a slut ??? How the woman I used to treat like a queen can be an easy sextoy for a married guy ?
After the shock I promised to myself that it will never happen to me again and that I will do all my best to found out an answer to that question: « Why a woman can prefer to be a mistress of a married man(alpha) than a beta male’s wife ? »
After reading many articles on Vi Nay blog (yes your blog has helped me to understand women psychology), self-introspection and other websites, I finally found the answer to all my questions mentioned above the answer is : FOR MOST WOMEN FIVE MINUTES OF ALPHA ARE BETTER THAN A WHOLE LIFE WITH A BETA ! (link : https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/five-minutes-of-alpha/ )
First of all, how I knew that the married guy was alpha? Because form him one night was enough to seduce and fuck the woman, he had done in a one night what I didn’t do in 5 weeks. For him that woman was an easy replaceable woman, he gave her the physical and mental abuse she desired.
For me ( ex-beta male) she was a princess and I naturally pedestalized her, result : she treated me like shit but she gave easily his body to an alpha.
With my Story, all I want to say is that a beta male has to change his Overall impression about women: « THE ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL ». I have changed my mind now I act like alpha and think like alpha because I know that Women’s opinions of me are completely meaningless. As mentioned, the only thing that interests them is your utility, measured by the frequency and intensity of vaginal tingles when they see or think about you ( if you are beta you can be sure that they don’t think about you). Whether they want to sleep with you, hate you completely or utterly ignore you, not one of those opinions is truly based on your character, your values, what you’ve accomplished, whether you are righteous or wicked, or what kind of man you are in general. The woman mentioned above rejected me because she instinctively labelized me as a beta.
-Do not only imitate alpha and only become a “stronger beta” change Your MIND and become authentic alpha.
Vi nay don’t hesitate to tell me what do you think about that?
My comment is divided into 3 parts (part1,2,3) because of the limitation on characters.
You have more than covered it, mate. Ultimately, you have gone through the normal and accepted 3 phase life stage that is:Delete
1) Be a beta with women.
2) Learn from your mistakes, and understand and accept why women are repulsed by men acting beta.
3) Never make the same mistakes again, and act accordingly (usually, but not always, the opposite to how you once did).
The men who make women the happiest are not men taking victory laps in claiming they have never made mistakes. These men are just liars. The best men are those who have learnt from their mistakes, and are not too ashamed to own up to them.
What if you're rated 9-11 in looks? (Not my own judgement but others over the years). I find the really attractive avoid me, but younger women 6-8 flock to myReplyDelete
Full answer in post about to be published.Delete