Saturday 18 October 2014

“Have you got a boyfriend?”

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is bitterest." (Confucius)

They often say the most fruitful and profitable inventions are from from the most simple ideas.  Sometimes we can over analyze the certain angles, diversions and curve balls that will be thrown our way in life, only for the ball to never even land in our court in the first place.  Basically, we can think about things that never even materialize.  For those of you who work in the commercial world, and for those who attend apparent irrelevant and resource wasting courses (although I bet the lunches are mighty fine), you may be familiar with the 80/20 rule that is often blurred out by these consultants.  That is, you should spend 80% of your time and endeavours on the most valuable 20% of final output.  In similar construction, you should spend the remaining 20% of your efforts, if time allows, on the 80% that leaves no significant mark on the end product.

This blog will not cover many aspects of actual approach tactics to women per se.  This is mainly because there are various internet sites, books and courses on offering from PUAs who are far more qualified to offer the appropriate advice.  In addition to this, I believe much of interaction strategy (game) is common sense in theoretical terms, although I do concede that effective delivery in the practical field is not so simple.  Further to this, a man could learn all the lines under the sun when it comes to walking up to a woman he doesn’t know, but unless he holds the right attitude and attains the corrective knowledge to why the female mind functions in the way it does, he may as well be an exquisite lip serviced robot that perfects the art of talking to women without knowing how it got there in the first place. 

And as a final self-proclaimed come misconstrued arrogant justification, being in the privileged top 1% in male physical attractiveness makes certain approach methodology unproductive.  I would, by my calculations, need to walk past 99 women aged between 15 to 40 in the UK before finding someone of equal or greater physical attractiveness than me in relative gender terms.  Sounds cocky, I know, but I try to keep things real for the sake of validity.  Future posts and close friends will confirm my humility and modesty.  So from my experience, the perennial “neg” (a comment that neither compliments nor insults a woman), in addition to “DHVs” (men demonstrating higher value) should always be geared towards a man who is in the spotlight with women who are frequently more eye catching than his own looks grade.  Good looking men, with height and bodies to compliment, need to spend more of their time displaying vulnerability and attainability signs with the vast majority of the female population.

Nevertheless, there does come a time when a certain phrase, something so short and sweet, brings about the ideal results of maximum reward for minimum exertion.  The early question of “have you got a boyfriend” is priceless in its overall consideration.  I’ll give you 5 reasons:

  • It is a direct question that doesn’t skate around the surface of any subsidiary topics.  Women know that men who engage with them usually want something at the end of the conversation beyond a “nice talking to you” cop-out, and this assertiveness shows her that this man doesn’t take any prisoners in his path towards attaining what he such desires.  Women are attracted to confident and assured men who know what they want, and in addition to this they admire men who take things in their stride by not fearing negative outcomes.  A man who shows self-pity in his body language when being rejected may stroke a woman’s ego at first – as whilst women do not take pleasure in rejecting men, they take stronger pleasure out of the good feeling of his projected attraction onto her – but they do not respect men who slump away in a sea of doubt.  A man leading with the “take it or leave it” direction is the one who leaves a much fonder memory.
  • This question allows a man to save time wondering or pondering how to eventually get to the words he truly wants to say.  He could waste minutes, maybe hours, before finally hearing her refusal words in reference of his advances.  Time is too precious to waste on a woman you don’t even know.  Although some men find it hard to take no for an answer, I’ve never been a huge fan of attached women generally.  A brick through my window some years ago left a sour taste in my mind for situations of love triangles, and it gave me enough feedback to not invest in a committed woman unless the reward far outweighed the possible risk – hence she was unbelievably physically attractive and mentally stimulating, with little chance of her boyfriend or his friends tracking me down.  It’s important to remember that men and women are from opposing universes when it boils down to being involved with attached members of the opposite sex.  All things equal, men would almost always take the single woman.  Women, deny it as they may, would more often choose the taken man.
  • It is a genuine question.  Whilst some women enjoy a “neg”, or god forbid, a cheesy complimentary chat up line, many more can construe these openings as insulting or unchallenging/too attainable respectively.  With this “have you got a boyfriend” line, it falls on neither extreme.  Call it a risk free opener if you will.
  • If she does in fact say she has a boyfriend then it allows a man to illustrate his pre-selection validation by mentioning his girlfriend.  Ask the target girl what she thinks the pros and cons, not including sex, are with regards to being in a relationship.  By speaking the words of eliminating sex, this shows her you are confident and relaxed to talk about sexual matters and relationships – which are subjects that women love to talk about more than anything.  If she says she hasn’t got a boyfriend, simply state the fact you admire women who don’t need reassurance in having continuous boyfriends and that it’s worth waiting for someone of quality rather than a case of content.  She will most likely believe this is the way you view the world (as it should be how any man views it), and it will come across as you being a person who validates women rather than the inverse.
  • Even if she has a boyfriend, her reactions to the question and responses from her answers, in addition to her emotion (or lack of) towards him, will enable a man to evaluate whether it is worth pursuing.  That choice remains with his good self.  Also, a good response to her likely phrase of “I have, sorry” is to bounce it back with “why are you sorry?”  Her inevitable answer will be more words about having a boyfriend.  At that point the final response should be, “I should be sorry, because it will be your loss.”

Five simple words can save a lot of time, energy and contemplation, whilst most likely scoring huge advantages.  I refer to it as an early question because rarely will it be profitable as an opening question.  Unless you are blessed with fame or extreme local social status, women need a little time, no matter how physically attracted or sexually aroused they are towards you, to assess getting to know the man a little better.  But there’s little advantage in talking for 20 minutes to a woman only for her to turn round with some kind of excuse, so for me it should be thrown in within 5 minutes of approach.  Life’s too short to waste time.  And if you belong to the numbers mentality group – a man who almost thrives on rejection in the knowledge of the more he asks, the greater his success with women – where’s the harm in directly opening with the question if you’re oppositely passing a cute girl on a bar staircase?  Nothing lost. 

Women will allow a man to spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or even years in allowing her to feel better about life.  This can be in the form of innumerable questions, supplication, compliments, buying of drinks, lavish gifts, provisioning exertion, and him prioritizing her life, not his own.  All these acts of a blue pill man will elevate a woman’s ego to levels beyond her objective value, and a naïve man can, and does, naively think this giving path eventually wears her down in declaration of love.  But all this achieves is illustration of a man who needs to do these things to seek her approval.  For every time he makes a move of this kind, the female brain mechanism allows itself to think he can do no better than her.  Once there is a glimmer of this feeling, she will gradually grind down to a point in every lost ounce of admiration, love and respect towards him.

As I will often refer to, it is prudent for a man to place himself in “win:win” situations of this kind.  The sentence in is content entirety is not as important as the attitude it should create when approaching.  This question should rub off on a man’s attitude to not place her value levels above his own.  Even if she is more visually striking, this doesn’t make her any the better a human being.  And the presence a man portrays will leave a far more efficient mark on a woman’s mind than any said words.  Women (and many there are) who have been infatuated by illiterate but intriguing men were not taken back by his verbal acumen.  They were put under an emotional spell by his brashness and care-free behavior.  Seduction is a refined craft rather than a defined art.

Of course a happy ending isn’t guaranteed.  Many women, with the natural self-centred and attention requirements that go before them, will lead men on if it is to their benefit.  Sometimes they will even be unsure one way or the other when interacting with the man.  For example, she could accept a good looking man’s proposal, only to later hide in the trenches due to her delayed brain function informing of his excessive greater value, higher physical impressiveness or likely infidelity.  With an uglier man, relative to the female candidate, she may have enjoyed the pampering he gave her in front of a group of friends, but she later feels there isn’t that true connection to take things further. 

But when all is said and done, it really is an effective early line for positive outcomes.  It might be too direct for some, but it suits my persona of today because, for different reasons, I can’t afford to spend valuable time on aspects that have no tangible or intangible rewards to my welfare.  I have enough people to talk to, so if I’m interfaced with a woman I like on a visceral basis I want to know if she feels the same way or not very early on.  With this deliverable, at the very least other women will see a man engaging with her.  And, contrary to female protestations and male misinterpretations, nearly every woman is always more attracted to a man who is in the company of another sister competitor.

As a last note to wrap this up, make a mental note of the actual words in the question – “have you got a boyfriend?”  A mistake to make, although unlikely to be detrimental in the whole scheme of things, is to word the question as “do you have a boyfriend?”  Whilst “got” may not be the most pleasant created word within the English dictionary, in the dynamics of female sexual perception it is more edgy than asking by the use of “have”.  The question I recommend has an air of not giving a crap either way.  Phrasing it in the other system gives off a slight message of trepidation to the answer.  Saving pennies can create pounds in the perceptive mind of a woman.

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