Saturday 21 June 2014

Hot women dismissing hot men: my first and final memories

“An oddly matched couple, with agendas attached,
can seem like being at the top of a glass mountain wearing glass slippers.”

I always remember a certain teacher during my high school days by the name of Mrs.Wolfe.  She taught history and a bit of physical education, but what stood out to me and the young boys was her beauty.  Even as kids, with barely a pubic hair to show between us, we were old enough to possess an eye for female beauty.  At the time we would have seen her as an ancient age, but the fact she was actually only 25 shows how fast time moves when I consider that is the same age as my current girlfriend.

With next to no comprehension of female selectivity in men, we thought she would be a great match for the male Sports teacher, Mr.Davies.  He was good looking with a muscular build (a build that wouldn’t be the desirable to most women today), and I would tend to think many boys craved to look like him one day.  So when we saw Mrs.Wolfe’s husband, it goes without saying that a few eyebrows were raised.  As although he was only half a dozen years older than her, his average facial features, receding hairline and, to be kind, “cuddly” build all brought about a guy who was clearly boxing above his weight by some 40% with her.  We later found out he had a high earning job in the commercial sector, so the easy assumption back then was to put it all down to money.  Just for the record, but equally relevant, Mr.Davies was also with a lesser looking female partner.  I’d say his wife’s physical attractiveness scale was at least a grade below him.

Ten years passed by before I came across my next fully conscious contemplation of equally matched couples from the high end of physical beauty not necessarily being a given in life that they will get together.  I certainly hadn’t been alien to inundated visions of hotter girl with lesser looking male dynamic, but I always put it down to the size of his wallet.  No comprehension was there to the point of any other factor.  When this time did arrive, the memory belongs to a girl I was infatuated by during further education.  Her name was Rachel.  She was so pretty, and her long brunette hair and toned legs to die for kept me in my bedroom with eyes shut more than a few times.  She was an 8.75/10.

Rachel was the best friend of a female peer of mine (Jenny) during A-Levels (ages 16 to 18).  Rachel attended a different college to us within the same city of Derby, but weekend nights out would give me the opportunity to act like any teenage boy walking around with a permanent erection – supplicated, lecherous and no interaction strategy to offer.  I was a late developer in male physical puberty and matured attractiveness, but as I was always facially blessed in comparison to the competition, I did catch Rachel looking over on sporadic occasions.

During a French lesson, I noticed some writing on Jenny’s notebook that was signed by Rachel.  My name was subscribed, with the message next to it stating “sex only”.  I had no interpretation to the meaning behind the words, and I didn’t press Jenny for an explanation.  Jenny would not have been very accommodating in any case, because she fancied the pants off me in conjunction to likely jealousy of her prettier best friend.

Off we all went to University, and random term break nights would be the only times I would have the privilege to see Rachel on view.  Unlike all the other hefties who would come back sporting the excess weight from beer and burgers, Rachel held onto her curvaceous figure.  During one New Year’s Eve party, she came up to me at midnight, she smiled and said my name, and she gave me a full on French kiss.  I cannot recollect her kissing anyone else.  Of all the kisses in my life, I will never forget this one.  She finished the smooch and walked off.  It was probably the most bitter-sweet moment of my life.  Part of me felt like I’d won the lottery, but the other half was left wondering where we go from there.  I never saw her until months after that treasured experience.

Along came the summer, and everyone returned to home territory.  Now at the age of 19, Rachel was looking as hot as ever.  One night I saw her in a busy bar, and a very good looking man walked over to her.  I recognized him, as he was a year above me at the same University, and he also belonged to a social proof group of other decent looking guys.  I have no reservation in conceding he was better looking than me, although perhaps in a manly handsome manner as opposed to natural looks.  He started talking to Rachel, yet what struck me more than anything was her absolute ignorance towards him.  She didn’t even look him in the eye once, and not one word was dispatched from her mouth.  Even though I was joyful in her rejecting his advances, part of me, even then, did show some genuine pity towards him.  Surely no guy, providing he isn’t acting like a disrespectful jerk, deserves to be blatantly ignored in a pre-conceived method.

By the age of 22, we had all graduated from our respective higher education venues.  Some found careers earlier than others, but like any home town, your heart rarely leaves it for good.  I’d only seen Rachel a handful of times over the previous 3 years, and on each and every situation she was still looking great.  Although I was in the midst of a 2 ½ year relationship with the girl I had met during study days, my love was with her but my sexual inclinations and deeper feelings were with Rachel. 

However, a year later I heard of news that Rachel was expecting a baby.  Two years on from the first child and she had become a mother once more.  Not long after birthing the second kid I saw her in a nightclub, and whilst perhaps ageing a touch, she was still looking fine.  Alongside her stood the husband and father, with his male friends who looked similar to him.  A 5.75/10 would be the best physical attractiveness rating an objective assessor could offer him.  Even allowing for her decline, she was a full 45% above him in the looks stakes.  Having spoken to Jenny about him, he is just the typical nice guy who provides well.  No great profession, he simply is a run of the mill person.     

What can we learn from dynamics of these kinds – hot woman dating down?

  • The vast majority of hot women do not take kindly to being with a man of equal physical attractiveness.  Even if he is slightly below her (8.25/10 v 8.5/10), this negligible plus on her side will most often not be enough to ease her discomforts when a man is at the high end of male beauty.
  • If a hot woman does not know a hot man on personal levels, she will almost always dismiss his advances.
  • A hot woman is more likely to venture into a relationship, whether it is seen for the short, medium or long term, if she does know the hot man through a “real life” social network field.
  • Although she will act much friendlier with a hot man she knows than a hot man she does not know, a hot woman will still rarely venture on with the nagging thought that sits inside to tell her she may be upstaged by a male partner attaining abundant admirable physical looks.
  • Hot women, and women in general, will almost never admit the real reason they “date down” in physical attractiveness terms.  They will either avoid the topic completely, or they may justify the odd visual match with reasons along the lines of personality and compatibility being the priorities in an ideal male mate.
  • Providing he does not have a track record of infidelity, a hot woman will date a very blessed looking man if he has an array of other desirable metrics – mainly money and status (social or occupational) – over a lesser looking man with very little to offer her.
  • If looks are the only variable and all else is equal, at least 90% of hot woman will choose the lesser looking man over a man of similar aesthetic impressiveness to her own level.
  • Although hot women have a default mechanism to date men less eye catching than them in gender relativity, they will only go so far in this de-leverage selection mentality.  Naturally, a hot woman will choose an average looking man over an ugly man, if all else is similar in comparison to the two men. 
  • Most hot women are seen with above average looking men.  The typical bond will be an 8/10 rated woman with a 7/10 rated man.
  • All the above applies to nearly all hot women above the age of 23.  Although the vast majority of hot women below the age of 23 still follow the same trends, a higher percentage of this younger group will be more inclined to not reject men of hotness parity. 
  • Cute women (who sit below 8/10 physical attractiveness rating) also follow a similar pattern to all as explained with hot women.  Nevertheless, there are 10 times as many cute women as hot women, therefore the opportunities for men at the top end of male looks will naturally manifest to lead them into the arms of cute, but not hot, women.

Only last week I encountered my latest all so common interaction process with a hot woman.  She sported long blonde hair, and a pretty face and curvy figure would put her at an 8.5/10 as seen that night.  As I’ve documented before on this blog, I humbly rate myself at 8.25/10.  She had seen me before on other nights, and each and every time she looked in my direction.  When she saw me on this occasion, the bed eyes were all so obvious once more.  This was followed by an abrupt turning of the other way.  When I approached her with a question, she lapped it up for a few seconds and turned back to her friends.  After leaving it a minute, I opened up once more with a genuine topic.  This time she disregarded me and walked off.  She then walked into the next bar we were in.  In a repeat show, she kept glancing over to me, and once she realized I was enjoying the company of more chilled (but less attractive) women, she guided her friends to the exit door.

Hot women are the easiest to work out once you have experienced a few of them.  They have the biggest egos, and they worry every day what the outside world thinks of them.  They are usually the most insecure and self-conscious out of all the female population.  Their prides hang on an edge, and the thought of a man, no matter how high value he is, rejecting them is a consequence too hard to deal with.  They are as high as a kite when the last touch of make-up is attached before a Saturday night out, but it doesn’t take long to reach the low once self-doubts creep in. 

And their demeanours and characters run parallel with their glamour in terms of highs and lows.  The hottest women, from my experience, have the steepest drop to their natural look.  A cute woman could look a 7/10 when glamoured up, and a 6/10 when she wakes in the morning.  A hot woman of 8.5/10 in public can drastically drop to a 6/10 once the alarm clock rings.  This reason alone goes a long way to explain why hot women are rarely seen with very good looking men.  Not only do they need to steal the show in the eyes of the public, but they live in trepidation to how a man will perceive her when she isn’t looking her best.   

Ladies, take it from a hot man: we are quite happy with your not so pretty look in the morning.  We know you can’t look your best during every second of every day, and you’d be surprised how many of us are more understanding than you believe us to be.  But if you are avoiding making your hearts happy because your egos cannot cope with the thought of being with a man who turns you on, but who just so happens to sexually attract other women too, well I wish you on your merry way to an uninspiring future.  If you ask me, it really is pathetic.   


  1. You bring up an interesting trade-off/ competing forces when it comes to the ego of a hot woman. It would seem from what you have said in this blog that a woman will derive ego satisfaction from feeling comparatively more important/attractive than as many other competing women as she can given her natural looks and what they may bring her.

    I sincerely wonder where the disconnect is in this whole ego-feeding pipeline which causes a hot woman to want to be seen as more physically attractive relative to other women, yet not desire to be associated with objectively highly attractive men, since it seems to me that "landing" a high value and attractive man would only serve to further boost her relative "proof" of attractiveness for others to see, and thus further ego fuel in her furnace.

    There is only one conclusion I can draw from these premises: the magnitude of EGO SECURITY of being the sole "shining star" of a couple in a physical sense OUTWEIGHS the EGO BOOST she stands to gain from association/ landing a man who is highly attractive to other women.

    EGO SECURITY > EGO BOOST (Perhaps a reflection on feminine nature in general, actions of security taking precedence over actions of potential gain)

    I guess some part of me still thinks that a hot woman would be highly motivated to secure the most attractive man she possibly could, based on the ego fuel this scenario would provide her in the form of jealous stares from her envious "competitors" who may not be physically attractive enough to likely land an equally attractive "hot commodity" man.

    But I digress, being a man, I must accept that I bring my inherent masculine nature of thought and rationale to this subject, which may be inadequate in the matter of parsing out the female psychology and nature of these decisions.

    1. The point you raise is a thoroughly valid one, and it is worth a little more fuel to the fire.

      A woman’s most valuable asset is her physical attractiveness. She has an instinctive desire to display this to the world. The odd exception could be an ugly but intelligent woman (think of an older female politician, GP or similar), but even then in relativity her vagina will probably still be a bigger draw to low calibre men than her wealth and intelligence. With this in mind, nearly all women will perceive this asset to be removed from their living luxury if they are seen alongside a man of equal or greater physical attractiveness.

      Think of the times when a woman will attain the greatest satisfactions from her photographs. The likelihood is it will be when she is on a beach holiday/honeymoon and her wedding day. If the aftermath photographs she holds up show a portrait where her man is as or more eye catching than her, it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth that far outweighs any positive feeling she may get from someone complimenting how good her male partner looks.

      So in terms of a hot woman, or any woman by and large for that matter, she needs to find the balance of not being repulsed but not being outshone. This is why the vast majority of women are with a man who is that 10% to 15% below in looks terms.

      A woman’s dream ticket is to find and lock down an “attractive man”, but this shouldn’t be confused with a “very physically attractive man”. She will aspire to locate a man with as much personality, charisma, wealth, status, intelligence, potential, ambition etc that benefits her, but not someone who makes her feel physically inadequate or inferior.

      The reason you see so few hot women with hot men, in comparison to the remaining female population, is simply because these women from high end glamour have been/are more accustomed to attention and compliments being swamped in their directions. This form of sycophancy will almost always be in relation to their physical looks. When a very good looking man is standing next to her, it is an uncomfortable emotion she rarely experiences. Even though she is likely sexually aroused by him, the self-protectiveness of her ego needs will rule over. And all this is without even going into her trust issues. In truth, over 95% of hot men want to date a hot woman, but not even 10% of hot women want to date a hot man. Do the probability maths on that...

  2. This is a very insightful and alternative analysis. The majority of the Manosphere presumption out there advocates that the "unattractive man" has "alpha attitude" that makes up for his lack of looks.

    1. I've noticed this "presumption" too, and the debate could go on and on...

      As a snap-shot summary, the general consensus is right. Women are attracted to men who act in alpha fashion - challenging, charismatic, firm attitude, self-oriented and apathetic etc... As the majority of men are average looking, the guide is to act this way in order to shoot above your league. This is true, and it does work.

      However, you have to bear in mind that so few men in percentage terms are alphas (or even close to being so), yet if you walk down the street on a Saturday afternoon or enter a restaurant in the evening, 90% of women under the age of 40 are with lesser looking men. It is simple reality that only a few of these men will have innate or developed alpha traits. Some will be cash rich, but this again will not come close to make up the percentage of mismatches. You can talk about great personality or a big dick, but we all know this only takes a man so far. Pure and simply, women prefer to be with a man for an LTR who is less aesthetically blessed.

      Nevertheless, it is far better to have both - high male physical attractiveness and alpha attitude.

  3. "The vast majority of hot women do not take kindly to being with a man of equal physical attractiveness. Even if he is slightly below her (8.25/10 v 8.5/10), this negligible plus on her side will most often not be enough to ease her discomforts when a man is at the high end of male beauty."

    This is true to an extent, but you don't acknowledge the inner conflict that we have. On the one hand, we DO want good-looking guys because it makes others jealous and boosts our social status among the legions of FB friends and acquaintances we have, etc. It also shows that we've upgraded from our exes. The problem is that men who are TOO good-looking are so high risk for infidelity or partner abandonment and they get so much attention that it's bound to be a source of conflict. In an ideal world, you could have a guy who is hot in private but not in public. Maybe a nice stomach that he keeps cover up with baggy shirts lol

    1. Well what you said above just summarizes the general disparity of confidence, insecurity and trust between women and men. I’ve dated a good few hot women in my time, and I’m under no illusion that they all received bundles of attention from men. Admittedly, most of these men would be run of the mill guys, but some would be good looking, rich or social profile men too. But each and every time I’ve attained the inner confidence to be with them for these 2 main reasons:
      1) I have the confidence in myself that she won’t find anyone better.
      2) If she did play away (and to date I haven’t found out of one who has), she has just saved me a great deal of time down the line and I can move onto something new and better.

      There aren’t many men (in percentage terms) who turn down opportunities with the hottest women for reasons as you mentioned to why women turn down the hottest men. I guess women simply aren’t designed this way.

      That said, I do commend you for your honesty about why you do want to date or do not desire good looking guys. I note your “want” reasons are motivated by how your external importance is seen upon, as opposed to how he intrinsically makes you feel about being with him.
      Naive guys out there: Mmmm, never doubt a woman’s integrity.

  4. Anyway Vi Nay, aren't you a player who has dated a multitude of women? The last line where you condescend women who avoid men like you is silly in light of that fact. Women are right to be wary, if they want something serious, why would they date a player like you?

    1. Now you’re falling into the perennial female trap – perception and assumption without evidence. Whether I am or not, please show me where I have self-proclaimed to be a player. You won’t find it, as I never have.

      Besides, there will be some male players who are only average to above average looking – especially those with high social status. Women are attracted to men who other women like. Many women will go for a notorious player over a loyal, but unwanted, man. Does the common denominator start to ring a bell yet? Simply put, a high percentage of women will put aside issues like a man being a player if he is less physically attractive than her.

      Ladies, accept it is an egoism issue more than anything else.

    2. Yeah but True Players are Very GOOD LOOKING. I spit on beta male players, in fact, I laugh at them.