Sunday 11 May 2014

Girl’s girls wanting to stay young

“Shoot too soon and you will likely never see the options that were in front of your eyes. 
Strike too late and the ship from years before may never sail past the dock again.”

This post is dedicated to the category of women who are closest to my heart, as they represent the majority of girlfriends I have been sexually involved with.  Sometimes you simply collide with members of the opposite sex by sheer accident, but usually there is a strike of lightning that just so happens to place people of similar tastes, morals and characteristics together.

A “girl’s girl” is not to be found very often amongst the array of her boyfriend requiring female counterparts.  Her ostracism mentality – in refusing to belong to the masses of women who will settle for an uninspiring man just for the sake of having one – should be commended.  Typical things to look out for in girl’s girls are hotness, independence, above average to professional careers, sole residence ownership, and their irritation of men in intimate considerations.  Of course this isn’t an absolute make-up, but I can guarantee you many will fall into this compartment.  They have high standards in men, and although they seek for love as much as any other woman, they won’t waste time on lost causes.

I believe girl’s girls make up roughly 1% of heterosexual women in the potential dating market.  This may seem incredibly low, but you’ve got to evaluate the whole female society out there.  If you were to see numerous groups of women on a night out, you would do well to find a perennial girl’s girl in many of huddles, poses and high fives going on.  Some like to claim they are women who don’t need a man in their life, but most of them are lying.  Most of these women seen are creatures who need the validation of a boyfriend to make them feel alive and important, or they are women biding their time with a current male partner until someone or something better comes along.  This rolling of the dice method naturally fragments as they grow through their years, as simply put, they no longer have the options in comparison to their younger selves. 

Girl’s girls, despite usually being the hottest and highest quality women out there, will actually have had the least amount of boyfriends within a relationship history.  They will also likely have encountered less sexual partners than a lot of their female peers.  This may sound like a strange concept to naïve non-thinkers, but it all adds up when you cut a little deeper.  Their strong prides and low tolerance of male deficiencies manifest to produce a woman who will only give her body and heart to one she sees fit as deserving.  It’s never a bad thing as a guy to hear the words of her referring to a low number of ex-boyfriends, because you then know she will treasure what she has due to the strict selection criteria put in front of men. 

The down side to this rigorous selectiveness is that you have very little leeway when wrong moves are made.  This has been a problem for me in the past, and I will be the first to admit to previous poor choices made in attempts to resurrect a sliding situation.  On some occasions it was even debatable whether I was the one at fault.  But a much more care-free attitude now leaves them with a “take it or leave it” option. 

Deep down, their egos are severed but their intimacy grows stronger with men who put themselves first.  At the end of the day, a man who does this is acting on a mirror image to what a girl’s girl is delivering herself.  That is: independence, selfishness, decisiveness, and prioritizing your own life before others.  So if a man lives his path to how he so desires and she is a passenger on route to where he was going anyway, the likelihood is she will respect, rather than repel. 

A woman’s fondest memory of love from her childhood days will be from the bad boy she was infatuated by.  Her infatuation was formed by his direction to put himself first.  Whilst she will talk more fondly about the nice guy who prioritized her in every such way, it will be no coincidence that she departed from him. 
A lesson to be learnt is this: A good guy shouldn’t replicate being a jerk, but he should lean to the side of jerkiness.  Common found nice guy traits of extreme consideration, listening ability and care should only be distributed in small and infrequent measures, and only when she has acted in a deserving manner.

From my experience, a good number of girl’s girls are aged between 25 and 30.  You will see them socializing with younger female friends.  This circumstance will usually be down to the fact their peers of similar age have settled down, but they also like to keep an air of immaturity in their character too.  In a dating world where the norm is for men to date younger women and for women to date older men, girl’s girls are the types who are most accustomed to break this trend.  Their hotness (and in truth less than 1% of women are genuinely hot) allows them to be seen as attractive in the eyes of younger men, and these younger men can often be good looking guys.  Sometimes they may avoid dating older men altogether, because it is like conceding to the soul-destroying fact they are getting older.  Good lord, what would their younger friends think to all this?  And nobody worries more about how the outside world perceives her than a girl’s girl.

The reason you may find many of these girl’s girls with good looking men, despite the fact you will see over 90% of women (caveat: 90% of women below the age of 40) with men who are less physically attractive in relativity, is that they are women with a rare level of confidence.  This confidence allows their egos, to a point, to lead with sexual thoughts and take a degree of oversight to insecurity and trust issues - that are all so familiar with the bulk of female population.  In addition to this, girl’s girls have high self-opinions, even if their prides are as delicate as any other woman who fears rejection, embarrassment or failure.  This elevated vision of her worth to the world can bring about a mentality that bypasses any passing thought - of a man with equal eye catching value – that he couldn’t appreciate her princess status as much as a lesser looking man would do so.  Nevertheless, a girl’s girl is still like any other woman - in preferring to be with a man who both sexually arouses her but doesn’t take public viewing away from her.  Cue: top end above average looking men (7.5/10 to 7.75/10 physical attractiveness rating) with high status.  These men are more isolated than the scarce numbers of hot women themselves. 

And status leads this post conveniently onto the problems a girl’s girl faces in the dating field.  The ego boost of involvement with a younger good looking guy, but a guy who is simultaneously most likely low or mediocre in most other desirable metrics, will only last for so long before frustration in being with him starts to kick in.  Just like any other woman worth having, but even more so in her case, she attains the natural hypergamous mindset that comes with being a modern day female.  As women are geared towards locating a man who earns more and has a higher professional profile than them, a career orientated girl’s girl is not going to settle for any run of the mill earner.  She wants a man who can prove he has “made it”.  So in addition to desires of male physical power and decent to good looks, this bar raising woman requires men consisting of high level earnings and status.  How many men, outside of occasional professional footballers or similar, do you know who tick both boxes?  Although high quality girl’s girls are rare, there will be dozens of them for every one of these men.  If she doesn’t strike while the oven is hot, any chance of capturing this man starts to evaporate, as the younger and hotter (even if less intelligent) female competitors are seen as more alluring.

One of the downsides to modern day society is, in my opinion, the phenomenon of reality TV programs.  In the UK, “The Only Way is Essex” (TOWIE) and “Made in Chelsea” seem to take on their attentions more than any of the other crappy options, in terms of regular women wandering away with the fairies in hope they could be the next big actress that a producer just so happens to bump into.  All this translates into is for a decent looking, but nothing special, woman to believe she should be deserving of expensive clothes, affluent located mansions, a rich and famous lifestyle and a profile representative to her glamour.  This is why you now see many of these women book summer holidays to Marbella.  No longer are sun, sea and suntans the only requirement of a woman’s annual calendar.  The prospect of her being selected as a famous and rich man’s future partner is within her grasp.  At least, this is what her poor naïve brain allows her to fantasize. 

So during the female age between 25 and 30, and many go beyond 30 too, you start to create a monster that has no comprehension to its limits.  This is despite the produced specimen now showing signs of a physical fragmentation from the pinnacle date.  This girl’s girl has had a few years to elevate her way up the promotion ladder at work, and the innumerable nice guys complimenting and polishing her crown only further compounds the belief that she will never take anything less than the best.  These supplicated men are only trying to get in her knickers, but she’s not going to give any of them a second thought.  All they’re good for is to make her feel better about life.  In the meantime, she spends the next day cursing the fact there are no decent men in the world that little bit more than the previous day.

But women of this kind rarely find a happy ending, because eventually something has to give.  Fundamentally, she is a perishable item in the sexual market.  Whilst girl’s girls are best equipped to look physically better at 27 as opposed to 21 – something most women take the inverse process in – from that age (27) on there will be slow signs of a less admirable reflection in the mirror.  Once 30 strikes, the ageing blemish rate speeds up two-fold.  On the day of the 35th birthday, well, if she still has the same demands as her former self of 10 years previous then she truly will never learn the reality of life.

The reality of life is this.  As women approach 30, more beauty frailty is becoming apparent, and fewer young men of reasonable calibre will find them appealing.  But the high self-opinion is still there, and these women maintain belief, even if in vain hope, that a quality man should be purchasing high for the privilege of her existence.  That “quality” man will most often come in the form of an older, lesser looking man who just so happens to be quite wealthy.  So in the end, our spotlighted girl’s girl ticked one box but failed in the other.  She’s the woman with the grimacing smile at her male partner’s corporate Christmas party – with weak attempts to show the world she is happy, concurrent to an irritable regret inside her soul conceding she should have sold her stock when it was at a higher market price.

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