tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1136566595965586346.post3339873787832625212..comments2024-03-16T15:29:13.544+01:00Comments on Women's choices: men's divorces : Diamonds to divorce: a whirlwind 2 year relationship Vi Nayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13032920019978546878noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1136566595965586346.post-46816693065158025882016-08-12T14:22:30.606+02:002016-08-12T14:22:30.606+02:00Thank you for your response , there are good ideas...Thank you for your response , there are good ideas in. I really appreciate how you talk about interaction between men and women.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1136566595965586346.post-43487121486016770942016-08-06T13:50:43.179+02:002016-08-06T13:50:43.179+02:00If a beta male insists or persists in staying beta...If a beta male insists or persists in staying beta, or he refuses to change even with knowledge to how the world and women work, he will forever make the same mistakes and sustain the failures and rejections that accompany this choice of character. Enough said...<br /><br />The way a beta can enhance not just his fortunes with women, but life generally too, is as follows:<br />1) Put on some muscle. Not in a beefcake way, but enough to stand out above the average guy. This more dominant body will cloud some of his average facial blessings, and make women find him more instinctively attractive.<br />2) Dress more stylish and unique. Similar to the body frame, women's eyes will project more easily onto him as opposed to the invisibility he once attained.<br />3)Get involved with a social proof group, no matter how local to the environment this is. Even a beta male, looking, acting and dressing in exactly the same way as always, will attract women far easier when he belongs to a "popular" group. Women, especially young women, love male social status, and hanging out in a well known gathering will not only open many more opportunities with women, but it will make him far more appealing.<br />4) Treat women like crap. An extreme view I know, but far more advantageous than treating her like a princess.<br />5) If 4) brings about too much contrition, at least develop a mindset of "women are easily replaceable." This adapts a far more efficient attitude onto women and life, and the female mind and sexual organs are uncontrollably attracted to it.<br />6) Positive body language and confidence. Portray this. It is far easier to learn and adapt non-verbal demeanour than to become a natural verbal executor (if it doesn't come naturally to you). Remember that women, and people generally, notice body language and tone way above the content of words. Use it in the right ratio.<br />7) Finally, force it upon yourself to think like nobody is watching you. Rejection, failure, shortcomings, and trepidation of how people respond to you would almost entirely be erased if you were the only person in the environment when acting out the relevant moves.<br /><br />But perhaps over and above all the aforementioned, make it a purpose in your life to remember this one phrase:<br /><br />"What's the worst that can happen?"<br /><br />When you put that to yourself each and every time, and you realize the worst is never as bad as the immediate mind allows you to think, the enrichment this mindset manifests cannot be underestimated. <br /> Vi Nayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13032920019978546878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1136566595965586346.post-59014835888173066002016-08-03T13:15:46.517+02:002016-08-03T13:15:46.517+02:00Hello Vi Nay,
I have really enjoyed your post, th...Hello Vi Nay,<br /><br />I have really enjoyed your post, the story about Bunny and Ben is definitely fantastic ! You said : « If a man doesn't hit her emotional buttons early on, it isn't going to ever happen. Chemistry isn't something that you wake up with out of the blue.». I agree with these words but as you know a woman or girl can't get any chemistry with beta male because a beta male looks unattractive, his obvious lack of confident, his betattitude (beta manners) are immediately detected by the girl he tempt to approach. As you said a girl will only say yes to a beta male if she doesn't get the attention she desires with an attractive alpha male around her. My question is : You seems to say that a girl get chemistry only with an attractive man = alpha, on other side the chemistry in a natural feeling no one can't create it, so : HOW a beta male can hit a girl emotional buttons early ? For me, a beta male will always suffer until he gets conscience that his manner to value a good looking girl immediately high value than him will make him unhappy and treated like shit in the future. Without acting like alpha is impossible for a beta to hit a girl emotional buttons early. What do you think about that ?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1136566595965586346.post-9160974334704344042014-05-26T17:43:35.313+02:002014-05-26T17:43:35.313+02:00Thanks very much for your reply, Vi Nay - I apprec...Thanks very much for your reply, Vi Nay - I appreciate it. What drives me mad is that it's a gigantic societal secret, the way women are and how cynical they are about manipulating men. At least my eyes are open now and I can pass on advice to my kids when they are older. <br />All the best and keep up the excellent writing, Kellspawdeekayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04161083600309199241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1136566595965586346.post-24561953277664777312014-05-13T13:18:15.534+02:002014-05-13T13:18:15.534+02:00• Are LTRs possible without having to 100% game al...• Are LTRs possible without having to 100% game all the time? I look around and see couples who are bored with each other but stay together for their childrens’ sake. This is noble, to my mind – after all, it’s what I wanted – but don’t the vast majority of people grow apart and end their days with the woman in control and little or no sex in the relationship?<br /><br />It all depends on the level of game a person requires. The rule of thumb is: “the hotter the girl, the bigger the game”, but this isn’t absolute. I know of a few cute “homely girls” who appear to be happy with a loving and giving male partner. But a man has no choice but to go with the normal sequence of events, and yes, game (aka psychological common sense strategy) will be necessitated with most women. This is all the more pertinent for men who are alongside more physically attractive women. Basically, the mindset a man should have is to start with firm game, and only loosen the grip when she has given reason due to what she has done, and not what she claims to do. Personally, I never fully trust a woman for as long as the relationship lasts.<br /><br />The sad truth to women being in control is that children, and mainly marriage, offer the female gender this passage in a relationship. A woman positively feeds off a man who puts his foot down, acts selfishly (to a point), shows a lack of primary consideration to her in life, and is not living in trepidation of emotional or financial consequences if the two of them go their separate ways. Women love men who they are never in full control of. Once kids and marriage are in place, a man relinquishes much of that luxury due to the knowledge he has far more to lose if it doesn’t work out. Women know this, their egos take over from the thoughts of what they most desire in men, and they increase all the provocation, manipulation and lies that are in their innate characters anyway. Simply put, the modern world in western society offers women a route to not be worse off (they are usually better off) than before she met him, and for men to be worse off if they split up. If there is a financial imbalance when they meet, and marriage is an empathetic motivation, any man with two brain cells to his armoury should have a pre-nuptial in place. The lack of sex as you mention is also a by-product of all as explained.<br /><br /><br />If any of this sounds harsh then I make no apology. It’s all about moving forwards with optimism from here on in, and you seem like a person who is prepared to take the proverbial high road. That’s the beauty of life – rarely is it too late to make amends and put the wrongs right.<br />Vi Nayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13032920019978546878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1136566595965586346.post-52041755370484749192014-05-13T13:17:36.851+02:002014-05-13T13:17:36.851+02:00Kells,
Although you cover a lifetime relationship...Kells,<br /><br />Although you cover a lifetime relationship in its entirety, this kind of story has been seen in front of my eyes many times before. There are various aspects of advice I could give you, but the bottom line of it is you are where you are right now. Besides, I’m a great believer in being excited about the future and learning from the past. You seem, despite your obvious mistakes, to be in a good place mentally.<br /><br />I’ll take both questions in turn:<br /><br />• Who is to blame for the relationship failing? Is it me for being a naive fool/average nice guy who knew nothing about steering a relationship, or her for being a devious, manipulative shrew who got what she wanted but couldn’t be pleased? <br /><br />Ultimately, you are both to blame. Although you may not want to hear this, she will have contrived the first pregnancy. A high percentage of women in their mid 20s start to see friendship networks dwindle, they see their friends settling down, and they feel the need to project self-value and self-importance onto the watching world due to fragmenting attention aligned to their declining beauty. As a decent catch, she would have put you down as a good provider for her life plan. When it happens, and if you cannot trust a woman, you needed to be on guard from that day on. I would have given her a chance to prove to you she could develop into a better person and a good mother, but as soon as it was clear she couldn’t change then you should have moved on. The kid would have been no better off in an unhappy household. Even if the purest claim is that an unhappy two-parent family benefits the upbringing of children’s welfare, the bitter memories formed from separate bedrooms, arguments, abusive behaviour, lies, hatred, brainwashing, adultery, emotional despair and inevitable parting of ways will manifest to haunt the child throughout adult life. I can tell you this from first-hand experience.<br /><br />She was never going to change, because once the novelty of showing the baby to the world wears off, she would start to resent you for holding her back in life. She would further resent you because once a mother, her options with other men (for LTRs at least) would be far more limited in comparison to pre motherhood. This would explain why the two of you went on to birth two more children. As an unmarried father, your options in the sexual market as a single guy would not have resulted in considerable negative results, and conceivably this parentage status could have assisted you. <br /><br /><br /><br />Vi Nayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13032920019978546878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1136566595965586346.post-70107518233187865812014-05-12T15:23:12.741+02:002014-05-12T15:23:12.741+02:00(ctd. from before)
Sex disappeared, we went for co...(ctd. from before)<br />Sex disappeared, we went for counselling where she came off worst in discussions we had with a counsellor so she found another one and went by herself. By this time, I had read that counselling is only good for giving women justification for their own actions so I could see the writing on the wall. Finally, late last year, she said she'd "had enough" and we agreed to split, well, I gave her what she wanted because I was sick of her and our shitty relationship. We had sex, as it turned out, one last time, which she surprisingly enjoyed. In the afterglow, I asked her some questions where she mentioned rough sex she’d enjoyed with a former lover and agreed that, initially, our sex life was good too but quickly died, as I mentioned (although she didn’t remember it dying as quickly). <br />Btw, I was basically a virgin when we met whereas she had had 6 or 7 lovers. She was pretty, but over the last couple of years has mentioned herself how haggard she is becoming. I have discovered that she is emotionally besotted with a former work colleague who is older, has 5 kids, and lives with his wife in another part of the country we live in. I am chubby, but would rate myself as above-average in looks and attract plenty of IOIs from the young, attractive women I work with. Part of this is to do with my strong sense of humour where I tease/neg women and which they love. I have also found a lover since my break-up who told me that I was very charming and that I seduced her. I guess I am learning to be less of a chode.<br />Wages-wise, I usually earned a bit more than my ex- although she was always short of money and frequently asked/checked if I was contributing my fair share to our common accounts. We were both university educated although she had a doctorate in her chosen subject, something I never had an issue with as I always considered myself better informed, more intelligent and more socially confident.<br />During the breakup, until I found a place of my own to live, I had to endure 4 or so months of following a break-up template she obviously had been planning for ages, her losing her temper with me constantly, threatening to take the kids off me and with getting me legally evicted from my own home, bringing lawyers into negotiations. As usual, I kept my cool, knowing that arguing with her would be useless (she always won our arguments, then again almost always started them and then would wish aloud that we wouldn’t argue) and not wanting to affect the kids any more than already was the case.<br />I finally moved into my new flat at the beginning of March. I can feel that the end of a 17-year LTR is quite heavy, emotionally, but it’s also a great relief and I see my kids every other week for 6 days, something I had to fight for but which I am happy with. <br />I hope I’m not being too longwinded nor coming off as an asshole – I’m just trying to be even-handed in my assessment of things and rational discussion with my ex- was an impossibility. <br />Essentially, I have two questions:<br />• Who is to blame for the relationship failing? Is it me for being a naive fool/average nice guy who knew nothing about steering a relationship, or her for being a devious, manipulative shrew who got what she wanted but couldn’t be pleased? <br />• Are LTRs possible without having to 100% game all the time? I look around and see couples who are bored with each other but stay together for their childrens’ sake. This is noble, to my mind – after all, it’s what I wanted – but don’t the vast majority of people grow apart and end their days with the woman in control and little or no sex in the relationship? I have more tools now and am aware of having to steer a woman but find this situation that most relationships seem to end in profoundly depressing and am wondering if I can be bothered trying to have an LTR again.<br />Thanks for your time, Kells <br />pawdeekayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04161083600309199241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1136566595965586346.post-4118499864357640402014-05-12T15:21:25.632+02:002014-05-12T15:21:25.632+02:00Hi Vi Nay
I read some of your posts on Krauser'...Hi Vi Nay<br />I read some of your posts on Krauser's blog and followed a link to your own site. I have found your posts very interesting and have been trawling through your archive for the past couple of weeks. This particular post brings to mind my own situation somewhat. I wonder if you could help me with a personal question I have? If so, great, if not, I understand you have better things to be doing.<br />I'm 43 and recently split up with my girlfriend after a 17-year LTR and 3 kids. I would surmise most of the relationship as, ultimately, just paddling water. <br />We first met when I was 22, she 21, and re-started going out when I moved to her hometown a few years later. She then got a job abroad and I followed her. After 2 years, she fell pregnant with our first kid. We had been having unprotected sex but this was an 'accident' (at least, I thought it was) and we agonised about an abortion before deciding to keep the child. In hindsight, she led this discussion and I was happy to agree with her decision. She was 29 when our eldest child was born, by which time we had been living together 3 years.<br />Sex dried up while she was pregnant and continued at a rate of once every two months (or less) on average for the rest of our entire relationship. Since she got pregnant for the first time, she was totally passive during sex and always put roadblocks in the way or made me hurry up. I'm a nice guy who rarely loses my temper and did what I could to share the burden of running a home and family. Regardless, whatever I did was never enough, in her opinion. Based on all my manosphere reading over the last year and a half or so, I obviously never controlled the frame of the relationship, and I was frequently passive as I thought letting her have her own way would make life easier.<br />With the birth of our eldest, she opened the door to her family, whom she is very close to and whom I initially got on very well with. But it was as if they had been waiting for kids to arrive. This destroyed my relationship with them as they knew that I wasn't happy with their too frequent, overlong visits, where they took over the house and did as they pleased, which I had made clear to my ex- were unacceptable. Later, they stopped visiting so much because of me, something my ex- resented me greatly for.<br />We had a 2nd son in 2006, my wish, and then a daughter 3 years ago (she got pregnant first time at 39 – I am considering having a dna test performed on my daughter), which I agreed to have because my ex- wanted a last child before her ovaries dried up and I wanted her to be happy. I agreed to this because I always felt that things would get better, and that our family would stay together.<br />As time went by, it became more and more obvious that she had no respect for me. Over the years, she appreciated nothing I did, said every now and then that she couldn't imagine us getting old together, etc. We slept apart at her instigation as I made too much noise in my sleep. At the start of 2013, she asked for both of us to make a go of things and we began to (briefly) have sex more often and it was exciting for a change (although visibly enjoying herself, she later denied she had liked this sex). Unfortunately she got pneumonia shortly afterwards and was in bed for a couple of weeks with me, uncomplainingly, doing everything to keep the house running, kids happy, and minding my own job. She asked for her mother to come, who is obese and in bad health herself. I was still doing most things but was told by my ex- that her mother had saved us all from going under and we had a blazing row, which was the beginning of the end.<br />(ctd. in next comment)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com