Post Valentine’s Day thoughts

“Watch, learn, sense, experience, contemplate, reflect and act;

all aspects of your life that should take precedence over what you hear.”

The beauty of life is that hardly anything stays the same for a sustained period of time.  Careers, work colleagues, friendships, animosities, hobbies, promises, resolutions, ambitions and dreams are just some of the events we go through that take crossroads off the high road we once envisaged.  When it comes to relationships with the opposite sex, nothing epitomizes change more than this one element to our busy existences.  When it derives to women’s evaluation of heterosexual intimate relationships, this intensity of change compounds further still.

As mentioned more than a couple of times on this blog, a high percentage of women lay claim to the fact that they are the big losers in the sexual market.  They will justify in reason of having far more emphasis to look, and stay, in preserved physical attractiveness shape in order to maintain the interest of their male partner.  They will state that, as a by-product of this requirement, men eventually cheat on them and this is why it comes to an end.  Once settled down, they will abide by the substantiation that their husbands, fiancés or boyfriends were equally, if not more, proactive in desiring to bring children into the world.  Once the kid is birthed, many women retrospectively forecast their careers have been put on hold to cater for motherhood.  And when the inevitable divorce occurs, they think the situation in economic terms leaves them worse off than before they met the guy.

Before you sweethearts and lapdogs fall for the sob story and have the tissues at the ready, allow me to place some magical spray of reality into the ocean of female tragic life.  I’ll answer in order of the above:

• It is more important for a woman to physically look good to attract the opposite sex than the need for men to be physically alluring to women.  However, this task contributes >90% of all a woman needs to do, as men primarily and almost single-handedly assess female attractiveness and desirability on this isolated factor.  On the other hand, women produce a tick list longer than their arm for men to meet.
• Some men do cheat, and often this will be a case of no longer finding their female partner sexually attractive.  Nevertheless, never forget that women initiate more than 2/3s of divorces.  Pre marriage, and most notably with women younger than 30, and this female jettison figure will be higher.  So on a cross section basis, women are 3 times more likely to depart from the relationship than men.  Oh, and men file for divorce on infidelity grounds more than women, in percentage terms.
• If put on lie-detectors, it would be categorically clear to see that women are more proactive than men in wanting children.  In a western world where the contraceptive pill is dished out like hay in the plough season, many women still become pregnant (and have the kid), despite the incredibly low percentage chances if using this form of contraception properly, through jerks and losers they barely knew.  So don’t try telling me that men crave for children as much as women.  Millions of men have children because they were either manipulated into it – hence unplanned or not consented - or they went against their better wishes in fear of losing the women they love.
• If some women do need to put their careers on hold, and only a tiny proportion of women have a true professional position that backs up this consensus, then why have children in the first place?  Further to this, companies are so susceptible to having their balls fired if sexism or discrimination is sniffed, therefore nearly all women have the opportunity to re-enter at the same level and role.  But she wants to see her children grow up and take them to nursery beyond the 12 month maternity period!  Life just isn’t fair, is it?
• How many women can honestly say they are worse off from a financial perspective than prior to meeting their hubbies?  Very few, will be the honest answer.  I can’t think of many women who join up in a relationship where they stack all the cash into a wedding, house and holidays, and the man ends up running away with more than he started with.  If this is the rare scenario, then get a contract signed up front to protect your interests.  Yes, a woman may not be as well off in in the aftermath of a divorce than during happy days, but you can place a fair bet on her being no worse off than before they locked hands for the first time.

The Valentine’s lonely hearts club

In spite of all the topics I write about, I take no pleasure in seeing anyone in the world unhappy.  For people who have yet to experience tragic events, or those who struggle to find true perspective, I would expect nothing makes a person ask more questions about the fairness in their life than being single on Valentine’s Day.  When I saw a few sad faces at the gym last Saturday morning, it did bring a slight air of sympathy on my part.

Although many will play the big man verbal game of loving the life of freedom, most men will not take kindly to being single on this day of romantic celebrations.  They simply deal with it better, in comparison to women, as the male mind does not come anywhere close to the validation necessities in showing the world that somebody loves them.  Men will also have many more pastimes to take part in on that particular day, and they are not jealous of their male mates being unavailable like women are envious of their female friends being spoilt by and snugged up with a sucker boyfriend.  The biggest problem to a man’s single status on Valentine’s Day is the thought of no guaranteed lay.

Flip the coin, and a woman bases her whole self-importance on confirmation that a man loves the portrait of her existence.  As most women lack solid and genuine friendships, an array of hobbies or a satisfied career, they will allow their minds to believe everyone is judging them on whether a man values their identity in the world.  If you ever see more than a few decent looking women with total loser looking men around February 14^th, don’t be frightened to conclude this female trepidation of lonesome activity is the main factor.  Any guy beats no guy, right?

Conquering Valentine’s attachments

If you are like me, and you have spent more than half your adult life by not sending Valentine’s Day cards and associated presents, well I could call you incredibly smart.  As most men aren’t that savvy, and the reasons for absent female company on this monumental date is through other reasons, I would tend to think there may be a good number of women who you wish weren’t with a certain guy, and in result she was with you.  Fear not for today, as tomorrow opens up a new chapter.

It’s never a coincidence that around early February many women will have been dating a man for the 2 to 3 month period.  November is notorious for women to start the ball rolling in the way of projected Christmas presents, New Year’s Eve dates and Valentine’s Day flowers.  I’ve always said that it isn’t at all difficult for a woman to find a man.  What is far, far more challenging is for a woman to locate a man she deeply desires to be with. 

If there are tell-tale signs that a woman is indifferent with her Valentine, and relationships are your ultimate goal, this is your time to strike.  She will have bled his generosity, efforts, idolization and genuine motives dry, and whilst he is walking past travel agents in hope the two of them could be strolling along a sunny beach afar in the summer, she is simultaneously devising a way to let him down gently whilst still holding onto her integrity.  Simply put, she will want to dump him in a manner that makes out it is not her fault.

So in essence, the end finishes with the beginning.  Women are rarely victims in the sexual market.  By and large, women do the selecting, and women also do the dumping.  Up to the age of around 35, the average value of a woman in the dating field is greater than the male age equivalence.  This is only true because of the vast numbers of desperate and mediocre men nesting like ants breeding around sugar in the first warm day of spring, but true it is all the same.  This unavoidable occurrence manifests to allow women to have more power.

If you can stand out as a man, and this is by no means only confined to physical stature, you will quite easily be the guy she sits opposite during next Valentine’s Day.  Women, especially aided by today’s hypergamous mentality, are always on the lookout for a better male option.  So many settle for below their potential to avoid being alone on days as those mentioned.  This is why guys like me will often see women past their best looking over in my direction, considering the choice they made years ago.  Making a safe choice, or the wrong choice, will usually come back to haunt them.